


The Master's Game

by TardisGhost



Series: The Crow and the Beast [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Angst, Dark, Drama, Emotional, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Humor, Insanity, Mild Blood, Mild Sexual Content, Romance, Science Fiction, Slow Build, Suspense, Tenth Doctor Era, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2019-07-14 07:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 47
Words: 147,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16036184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisGhost/pseuds/TardisGhost
Summary: The Master finally captures his oldest enemy. But with him comes a peculiar young woman. A glitch in reality lets everyone forget Roka, making her a mere ghost in the TARDIS. Only the Master seems to be unaffected, and as Roka tries to free the Doctor, she gets closer to her enemy than she had ever expected.>> Updated weekly!





	1. A game of life and death

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place sometimes between LotTL and EoT. The Master got resurrected successfully and tries to escape earth when the Doctor and Roka arrive.
> 
> I really love to read comments. So go ahead and spam me with them! OwO

****

 

**_"This might have been the day I met the most dangerous man in the universe.  
My life would never be the same"_ **

For days the Doctor had been acting strange, fidgeting way more than usually, constantly checking things on the console's monitor and jumping from one place to the next, only to step out for a few moments and then return without having done anything.

Roka observed him from the shadows, as usual. Right now he couldn't see her anyway and she wasn't in the mood to remind him of her presence. The young woman was rather unsuspicious. Quite small and lanky, the short blond hair of her pixie cut falling into her eyes. She wore ordinary jeans and a t-shirt above a flannel. Comfy. Just the way she liked it.

It was the fourth time this day - for whatever reason she still counted them - that the Doctor landed the TARDIS and stepped outside. This time Roka followed him, more out of boredom than anything else. She had spent the last days in the library, as usual, and now needed to stretch her limbs a bit.

Surprised she saw the Doctor pointing his Sonic at the blue box, making it vanish. Did he expect danger? She looked around the place. Nothing special. They were somewhere between some factory buildings and definitely near the sea, because she could hear waves nearby. Staying close to the Doctor she followed him down a road and saw him peaking inside a few narrow alleys, always shaking his head afterwards and sometimes mumbling something to himself.

When she turned around she almost shrieked. An armed soldier stood right behind her. But his gaze wandered past the young woman and to the Doctor. He raised his hand, waving someone over and shortly after the sound of many pairs of combat boots followed. The Doctor finally heard it and spun around, the usual smile on his lips when seeing new people.

"Hey!" He stepped closer, pulling his psychic paper out of his pocket. "I'm allowed to be here, see?"

A rough dozen soldiers had gathered meanwhile and past them stepped another man, a bit smaller than the Doctor, with slightly tousled bright blond hair and wearing mostly black, except a red shirt that was lurking out beneath his hoody.

The Doctor's face turned white and alternated between worried and surprised and... relieved?

"You were dead... I burned your body," he said in an almost apologizing tone, while fixating the man's every movement.

The other one looked up and wore a wide grin on his face. "No, you lit the fire and walked away. I just rolled over." He stuck out his tongue. "I really tricked you there, eh?"

"No, you didn't. I checked. You  _were_  dead!"

"Well... maybe I finally found a way to come back..." He bowed to the Doctor and poked his chest. "As often. As. I. Want." Taking a step back he took a strand of his hair. "Well... the color got messed up though. I don't like blond..."

The Doctor looked shocked. "I heard rumors... And suspected it could be you. What are you planning this time? You don't just appear somewhere without causing havoc."

"Aaaaw, listen to you..." The man's grin got even wider. "Can't I just visit an old friend? Maybe I missed you."

"Yeah, that's why you brought a whole army squad with you..."

"Oh, did I?" He turned around and looked surprised. "Whoops. Totally forgot about those... Ahh.... How about... shoot him? Or no... no no no.... don't... actually don't." He turned back to the Doctor and his grin faded away. He raised his hand. "Take him hostage."

The soldiers obeyed immediately. One of them bend the Doctor's hands onto his back, leaving him not much room to move.

Roka had hid behind a trash bin, frantically trying to find a way to help. But what could she do against so much fire power? For now she couldn't do much more than carefully following them. Being a glitch in reality could prove to be of use for once since they wouldn't see her. But still she tried not to be too obvious. Did that hooded man just look at her? No, he turned around again.

"Doesn't look like you to directly attack me." The Doctor sounded angry. "You're usually much less efficient."

"Hey,  I just came back from the dead. Aren't you supposed to be happy? That's really not nice of you. And before you ask... I need you out of the way. For good this time. No tricks, I promise. Just a clean nice death. Or... two... depending on how much fun I have."

After a short time they entered one of the factory buildings. It looked old and partially abandoned. Inside they followed some steps downwards, where the soldier rudely pushed the Doctor into a room.

"Enjoy your stay, my dear friend. It won't be for too long."

From there on the men spread. Two guarded the door, but the blond one put the keys to it inside his own pockets and moved away. Roka followed him, careful to not make any noise. A single person could still notice her when she behaved too obvious. Just when at least a third person was within the same room, they forgot about her for good.

Some stairs later they entered an office room. It was big and twice as long as wide. Half of it had been turned into some sort of workshop though. Lots of it looked very alien to Roka, but since she had gotten skilled with all kinds of tech stuff during her years in the TARDIS she still recognized a few devices.

The man left through another door, leaving her alone in the room. She took the opportunity and silently looked around, moving towards the big desk at the upper end of the room. Maybe there was something that could explain this strange situation.

Suddenly she felt a jolt on her neck. A hand had grabbed her collar.

"Now to you..." She got turned around, directly facing the hooded man. Surprised she stared into his hazel eyes. He had an aura of danger around him that made her body freeze and her heart racing. "You're with the Doctor, right? Not nice of you sneaking around here... really not nice. And very unlike him not to mention you." He grabbed her throat. "Not begging for your stupid little life. Talk and I might let you life... for a few minutes at least." He grinned and let Roka go.

Rubbing her throat  she stumbled a few steps backwards, still keeping eye contact.

"I... I won't talk."

"Yeah, yeah... of course not. Would be boring if they would always talk immediately, right? How about we start with you handing me over that perception filter? They might work on my men, but not on me."

"I don't have one" Roka said toneless. "It's just the way I am."

"How peculiar... Why don't they see you? And you really should answer, cause I'm very... very creative with humans."

And Roka explained in as few words as possible what she knew herself about it. She had been born dead, but a few moments later, as if time had reset, she had been born again, perfectly healthy. Although whatever had made this happen also had turned her into a ghost. People forgot about her very existence in usually not more than a few seconds or minutes. Every memory of her wiped from their minds until they got reminded of her. Either if she herself reminded them, or sometimes when she was alone with a single person.

What else could she do than to explain it? If that guy killed her now, who would help the Doctor?

"He never mentioned me, eh? Bad, bad Doctor. Always forgetting his friends." He grinned again. "He better had, so you would know that I can just look inside your pitiful little brain and see if you're lying."

"Well... then you should see that I'm not." She threw a mean gaze at him. "Why do you want to kill him? If he's your friend, then..."

"Because I hate him!" He stepped closer. "And because he walked right into my arms, which spared me from looking for him and spending months developing a plan to get him locked away. Lucky me. And now he will die and so will you. Arm in arm if you wish." He stuck out his tongue.

That man was absolutely crazy. And dangerous. His very presence made her shiver. Roka had to be careful, very careful. And quick. And smart.

And she had absolutely no clue what to do.

"Take me as a hostage instead. If... you tell him you got me... he won't interfere with your plans."

The man burst out into laughter. "Not bad. Really... but we both know he would try anyway. Always saving the day, doesn't he? Try again."  He sat down on an armed office chair, leaning back, intensely staring at Roka.

Quick... she had to be quick.

"I..." She looked around, her gaze falling onto the workshop part of the office. "I'm really good with tech. You could say, I'm some kind of janitor for the Doctor... so..."

"I don't need human hands muddling around with that stuff." He looked slightly interested though.

"Uhm... I can repair lots of parts inside the TARDIS. I'm really good." But she knew this wouldn't help. Those cold staring eyes were still resting on her, making it hard to think. What could satisfy a man like him? A man that seemed mad, but also intelligent. She had nothing to offer... nothing but...

Raising her head she stared directly into his eyes, a shiver running down her spine. It was hard to put all her remaining confidence into her voice. "What about a game?" she slowly asked. His eyes widened a tiny little bit, but he said nothing. "I... do whatever you want. And in return you let the Doctor..." No, he wouldn't let him go. And even if he would, the Doctor would try to come back. As much as the thought hurt her, she knew he had to stay a prisoner for now. "...live. You let him live. And if I try even the smallest thing to help him or whatever... you can kill him."

There was a grin slowly spreading on his face. Mad and wide. "Oh, I see... Yes, I clearly see what you're planning." He stood up again, stepping closer to her. Way too close, completely ignoring any personal space. "Alright. This is fun. The Doctor's life... in the hands of a pathetic human." He looked down to her, his voice was menacing. "How long do you think can you sustain? How long can you work on a little plan behind my back without me noticing? And do you really think whatever you come up with is so clever that it can beat me?"

Roka stared up to him, feeling anxious and not even a tiny little bit as confident as she tried to sound. "Yes, I do." Her own gaze became malevolent.

"You don't know who I am, right? Of course not. He never talks about me. How rude..." He came even closer, slightly bowing down towards her ear and his voice became quiet and very cold. 

"I am a Time Lord, like your precious friend... I am the Master. And  _you_  will obey me."


	2. A familiar face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have met before. Only briefly, but the Master already seems to have fun.

 "Oh," made Roka. "You look different."

The Master took a step back, observing her curiously and after a moment his eyebrows raised, accompanied by an amused smile. "Ah, I remember. You were there when I build the paradox machine." He chuckled at the memory. "Suddenly just standing there and watching me. Like a ghost."

She remembered too. That day when he had ran inside the TARDIS to regenerate into a handsome young man, rambling some nonsense and then running off. Since she had no idea how to control the TARDIS she has had no choice but to stay inconspicuous, only to get bored of it quickly and taking a look. Another Time Lord wasn't a thing she could have just ignored.

At first it seemed as if he hadn't noticed her, but after a while he had started to laugh, strolling to the seat she had placed herself in and observing her closely.

"A shame you ran away..." The Master interrupted the memory. "Thought you were quite interesting, sitting there as if it was nothing." He came close again, putting a hand under her chin to make her look up. "Not the slightest itch of fear in your eyes... again."

That day she had just smiled up to him, telling him that he would forget about her anyway, before leaving the room and a very perplex Master behind.

"Where did you hide? It was a whole year after all and I've never seen you again."

Roka shrugged. "Can't remember." He must have activated the machine shortly after and everything after that was lost to her.

She slightly winced when he put two fingers to her throat.

"Peculiar..." He made it sound like she was some sort of experiment. "Eyes can hide fear, but not your pulse. And yours is calm as a pond..." He chuckled to himself and grinned at Roka. "That's gonna be fun. I think I like you already."

"Please don't," she stated sarcastically and got back another amused grin.

"Shall we tell the good news to the Doctor? I bet he'll be delighted." The Master grabbed her arm and pushed her forwards. "Move. And remember... don't try anything funny."

It was a short way back and not enough time to make any useful plans. She would have to wait and observe, being careful and smart to find a gap somewhere in his net.

The cell was mostly empty. Just an ordinary table and a chair stood in there. As soon as the door opened the Doctor sprang up, rushing towards the Master, wearing a grim face.

"Lucky you, Doctor. Look what I just found." With that he pushed Roka into the room. The Doctor recognized her a few seconds later. It was always the same look people had when they realized her presence. A look of surprise and remembrance.

"Oh no... no, no... don't tell me you followed me."

Roka looked away. "I thought I wouldn't get noticed."

Suddenly she felt the Master crossing his arms on top of her head, again ignoring her personal space. He seemed to have fun with that. She could feel his heartbeat at her back, calm and slow. A weird feeling since he had two of those.

"Don't dare to harm her!" The Doctor stood up and rushed towards them. "You have me, don't..."

"Her?" The Masters voice sounded surprised. "I thought you were a little boy. Why are you running around like that?"

Roka looked up as good as she could and smirked at his surprised expression. "To let people like you think I'm harmless."

He laughed. "Do you hear that, Doctor? Not an ounce of fear in that voice. And that although I could just poke a hole through her chest. Right now... right in front of you. Just to upset you."

From the Doctor's stories she knew that he wasn't just spilling out empty words. If she wasn't careful, he would make his threat reality. But then she remembered the glint in his eyes when she had suggested the deal.

"Would be quite the short game if you did." She said. "And boring."

The arms moved from hear head to her shoulder, spinning her around and pressing her against the next wall. "But I can  _hurt_ you... Very slowly and very... very carefully..." He paused, raising an eyebrow. "Still not scared? Interesting."

"My pain threshold is higher than usual." Her gaze got mean. Why had she said that? Her own mind was screaming at her, but for some reason she couldn't resist to provoke him. "Try me."

The glint in his eyes was back, mixed with amusement this time. He let go of her and turned around to the Doctor, who looked as if he was about to throw himself at the Master at every moment. Probably only  _not_  doing it to not put Roka into any more danger than she was in anyway.

"Listen to that. She's begging for it!" A mean laugh followed his words. "Doctor, I didn't know you were able to pick up  _interesting_ pets." And he explained the game to him with a happy smile as he saw the Doctors eyes widen in fear.

"No! Don't do that! Roka, don't..."

"Oh, let the girl have some fun. It was her idea after all."

* * *

Roka sat below one of the big windows, watching the rain outside, sitting in a way that made her hardly visible to the Master. In the end she just had to wait and he would forget about her, like people always did. All that was needed was a bit of patience. Time enough to think about a proper plan. First she had to find out where he stored the keys to the Doctor's cell. The rest would be easy.

Carefully she looked at her enemy, sitting at his desk, looking like he was just doing some kind of casual office work, probably plotting something. Then she looked back outside and sighed.

Being in danger was only thrilling for so long.

Now she had gotten bored and looking around she wished she could snatch some of the parts around her to build something. One of her favorite things to pass time. All those years in the TARDIS had given her enough time to refine her skills and help the Doctor with all kinds of repairs.

Again she sighed. She shouldn't make herself noticeable again, but...

"Hey..." she said carefully, waiting for the Master to look up. "Care if I use some of that stuff?" She nodded towards the components.

He tilted his head, observing her for a moment, before answering, "What for? There's no weapon hidden in that junk."

"I'm... just bored."

She shrugged and saw him raising an eyebrow. For a few moments the Master just stared at her, cold and mildly curious. "Repairing the TRADIS, eh? I don't believe you. But there, go ahead, impress me." He chuckled to himself and attended to his work again.

Roka sprang up, eager to take a look at all the stuff around her. There were some really interesting gadgets and broken parts. Some were completely alien to her, others seemed at least vaguely familiar. She had seen some of the things on various planets, others in the TARDIS. Lot of the stuff was broken or taken apart. An idea sprang to her mind when she saw a still functioning quantum stabilizer.

* * *

"Done!" Widely and satisfied grinning she observed the result. The chip had gotten really small and the magnetism wouldn't destroy it's functionality like the first time she had made something like that. A rustling of cloth made her look up and she saw the Master stepping towards her, a cup of steaming coffee in his hands. She stared at it with craving eyes.

"You... cut out some plastic." He looked down to her, taking a sip. "And there I hoped you would be interesting."

"The plastic is just the hull." Roka stood up and, before he could stop her, let the chip fall into his cup.

"Hey!"

"Don't mourn, wait a few seconds. I combined a quantum stabilizer with some basic carofrum wires... had to take apart one of the Fh'smarg devices, but..." The Master stared at her with cold eyes and she hurried to explain, "It keeps every liquid it comes into contact with at a stable 60° Celsius. Perfect drinking temperature. And since it powers itself via heat..."

He burst out into a laugh, then grinned sarcastically at her. "Seriously? You spent hours for something useless like that?" He raised the cup.

"Uhm, stop! Don't drink that!"

Lowering the cup again he stared at her with amusement. "Let me guess... it's not safe? What a surprise."

"Oh, the chip itself is", mumbled Roka. "But I don't think you want to risk swallowing that thing. Unless of course, you want your blood boiling."

"You're stupid." He laughed.

"I'm not!" She protested, but the Master just laughed louder.

"You warned me... and there you had the chance to kill me in the most ridiculous way ever. With coffee..."

Roka stared at him and bit on her lip. "Why should I want to do that..." she mumbled and took the cup from his hand to put a flat magnet at its bottom. "There, now it'll stick to the ground." But she didn't think of returning the coffee. Instead she turned around and took it with her.

"Oi, don't just keep it, cheeky human!"

"At least I can be sure it's not poisoned." Satisfied with herself she took a sip. "You can thank me later."

"For what?"

"For never having to endure cold coffee again." Glancing over the rim of the cup she gave him an amused grin.

For a moment he just coldly stared at her and she feared to have gone too far. It was so hard to tell what he was up to. There was just this constant feeling of threat around him. Or was it just the knowledge of the stories the Doctor had told her about him?

The moment faded and the amused glint came back into his eyes.

"Not very impressive... technically. But creative, I admit." He turned around and grabbed a strange gadget from the pile. "Here, look at that." He put it into her free hand.

"What is it?"

"Tell me."

A test, thought Roka. She turned the thing around in her hand, carefully observing the parts. At first glance it looked complicated, but the wiring and that...

"That's... a very fancy remote detonator. Doesn't make much sense this way though. If you want it to go off by rusting away... you should change that part here with another kind of metal. This one takes ages to oxidize."

She hadn't even ended the sentence when he ripped the thing out of her hand and shoved another device inside it. "How about this?"

"Uhm..." She had no idea what it could be. It looked like a thick metal bracelet. But as she took a closer look Roka could see fine veins going through it. Glowing very faintly when held into the light at the right angle. What could be its purpose? It looked and felt vaguely familiar... She closed her eyes, trying to let her brain solve it. Somewhere in this net of information should be an answer.

It was hard to let her mind wander with the Master's cold stare on her, but eventually...

"Ohh...." She opened her eyes and looked surprised at him. "It's a portable translation device! Probably very limited in its capacity, so you can only choose one or maybe two languages. Although... With your Time Lord technology you could probably fit in a storage chip that is way bigger than the device itself."

"Alright... you're not so stupid after all." Tilting his head he observed her curiously. "Maybe I'll use your brain for one or two...  _things_."

"Ha! Told ya!" She grinned proudly.

He looked amused at Roka. "I guess you already know what I want to do to your planet. Aren't you a bit too eager to help me with that?"

"As long as you let the Doctor stay alive. Earth has never done any good to me, humanity neither." She shrugged and sat down next to the window again, taking another sip from the coffee.

The amusement in the Master's eyes got even bigger. "Seems like we're going to have lots of fun together." He leaned down to Roka, stealing his coffee back.

 


	3. Shoot!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Master seems to be slightly impressed by Roka's technical abilities. But playing deadly games with hostages is so much more fun!

Adjacent to the office room was another, way smaller one, that probably once had been some kind of storage. Now it was mostly empty, except for some book shelves and an old, dusty sofa in one corner.

Roka was allowed to sleep here and she was glad to get at least some privacy. Although she wasn't sure if it was actually safe to sleep at all. Not that there was much of a choice to make. Humans could only go for so long without.

Instead she took a look at the book shelves. They probably had been here before the Master had occupied the building. Or maybe not, since some of them clearly didn't originate from earth. Roka recognized some titles that didn't resemble any human language and without the TARDIS she couldn't read them.

Some were familiar though and she picked one up, lying down with it. Nothing better than a good story to keep one's mind busy. Not that she could concentrate on it all too much. Her thoughts circled around the Doctor and his odd behavior since they had left the Ood planet. He clearly had  _awaited_  to find the Master somewhere. But the other Time Lord had been a step ahead. What were his plans with the Doctor? And with earth?

It didn't really matter. Roka just had to stay awake long enough and would be forgotten. Then she could sneak outside, search for the keys and then they could leave this place.

Not for a second longer than necessary did she want to be around the Master. Like that first time she had seen him, he creped her out. It wasn't fear... just... she couldn't even put it into words, but simply thinking of the stories the Doctor had told her about him...

She shook her head and buried her nose in the book again, not wanting to think about this too much. 

* * *

 A shadow leaned down and a small weight got lifted from her chest, making her eyes fling open. It took Roka some seconds to remember where she was.

"Don't sleep with them." The Master's voice didn't sound angry.

She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

"Sorry. Wasn't planning to do so." She looked up and cursed herself for having fallen asleep.

"Six hours should be enough for your meager brain to recover." He turned the book in his hands, smiling when he read the title. "Not my fault, when you spend that time with anything else." The book found its old spot again and got placed there much more carefully than Roka would have expected. Not like a random object.

At least he seemed to value books, she thought a bit amused. But something about his words bothered her, something her still tired mind couldn't quite grasp.

"I want to test what you're capable of." The Master turned around, grinning down to her. "You won't ask any questions and just do as I say."

Roka yawned once more and nodded. Everything was better than being bored.

"Is there a coffee or two involved? I don't function properly without."

"Only a poisoned one." The mean grin got wider.

"Fine with me."

* * *

She spent the whole day building seemingly random parts. Some of them were easy, others were really tiny and delicate. But with her fine motor skills none of it was a problem. The Master didn't tell her what the objects were for and not even what they were supposed to do, so she wasn't able to alter their functionality. At least she was allowed to use the tiny kitchen next door - no knifes were in there - to get as much coffee as she wanted, earning her more than one amused look.

When the Master came to inspect her work Roka couldn't tell what he was thinking while looking at everything very carefully. It was fun to watch his face though, his forehead an nose wrinkling here and there, his eyebrows wandering up and down. His mouth moving from one side to the other, sometimes curving into a smile, sometimes into a grin.

Who are you? That thought wandered through Roka's mind over and over again. To her he was like some kind of boogey man, a creature born from tales told in the dark. But also a former friend of the Doctor. Had he always been like that? Or had something made him the way he was today? And if the later was the case, what could happen to a person to become an initiant of wars and genocides, and all the other things.

"That's really something..." The Master sat down the last object, turning towards her. "Fine, I'm impressed. A  _tiny_  little bit." He squeezed his fingers together.

Roka couldn't keep herself from having a grim smile on her face.

"Don't think too high of yourself. It's only good for a human."

"Still sounds like a compliment." Her stomach growled. She hadn't eaten anything since the last day. "Ugh. I would kill for some pizza."

A mean grin appeared on the Master's face. Roka didn't like it.

"You're sure about that?"

"Ahh.... some toast would do it too... I guess."

"Get up." He said in such a cold tone that Roka simply did it. Then he came closer. Way too close for her taste. "Let's have some fun, eh?" His hand vanished inside his jacket and when he pulled it out again he held a gun in it that he shoved into Roka's hands. "Shoot that guard." He nodded towards the man that guarded the door.

"What?! No!" Roka's eyes widened as she stared at the weapon in her hand.

"I even pay for the pizza, if you do." He trod beside her, and leaned down. "He's under my control. He'll even like it."

"I won't. You're mad!" Never before had she held a gun. It was heavy and cold.

"Yeah, I know." The grin on his lips was an almost proud one.

"I can't shoot anyway," Roka tried to talk her way out. Her heart was racing by now and memories flooded her mind. Ones she had tried to banish from herself, but now they all came back, making her shiver.

"Nah, that's not hard." The Master moved behind her and took her hand. "See, just move it up. Grip tightly or you'll hit yourself with the recoil." Roka couldn't move. Every muscle in her body seemed to be paralyzed and her heart beat so fast it almost made her dizzy. "Now, just pull your finger back, slowly...." His voice became almost a whisper. "I hold your hand. No need to aim. Just... pull."

This wasn't happening... he couldn't make her do that. Her eyes closed on their own, she didn't want to see this. She also didn't want to hear the shot, didn't want to feel the cold metal in her hand, nor the other hand that gripped her so tightly, nor... the calm doubled heartbeat at her back. He was so close and... real. Not a boogey man, not a nightmare. Just a person.

"You're boring." He sounded disappointed and let her go all of a sudden.

Roka's hand fell down, shaking. I'm not following his orders, she thought. Over and over again. He's just a guy. A Time Lord maybe, but even they had weak spots. If she could just... Breathe, she thought to herself. Breathe and get calm. Stop shaking.

"Well, no food then... at least for you."

Roka spun around and held up the gun. He was so close there was no need to aim. She just pressed the muzzle against his chest. His eyes got wide and the grin faded away.  
  
"I had really lots of time to read about Time Lord physiology." She said slowly. "And I know at least three spots to shoot you without triggering your regeneration. Including this one."

Just a person. Just a living, breathing person. I don't know anything about you, it raced through her mind. But you make me do this...

"Aaaaw, come on. Me you would kill, but not him? That's not nice." A faint smile came back to his face. "Do it." And as she didn't react he came even a step closer, pressing the gun further against him. "You can't, right?" He leaned down to her, glaring directly into her eyes, only inches away from her face. "It's easy. Just a little bow of your finger and you and your Doctor are free."

Roka stared back. Hear heart pounded so fast in her chest it hurt. It would happen... again... But he wasn't any better than that other one. Let me forget that you're alive, her mind begged. Be nothing more than a tale once again, for it is your own fault. Her finger moved backwards. There was the point. Just a little bit further and...

*click*

A second like an eternity passed, time stopped for a moment and only returned to normal when Roka gasped for air. Confused her gaze wandered between the gun and the Master. Nothing had happened.

"Oh, did I forget to mention?" A very happy grin spread on his lips. "There are no bullets in it." He took the gun from her now shaking hands and put it back into his jacket. For a few moments he just coldly observed her, his gaze wandering up and down as if searching for something specific. Then he chuckled to himself. "Seems I was right. You  _are_  an interesting one..." His gaze was almost acknowledging for a second. "Guess I owe you a pizza now. Anything specific in mind? No pineapple though, that's disgusting."

 


	4. Traces of ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently the Master and Roka have one thing in common. They both like literature.

 

"I think... I'm dying," Roka moaned.

She lay on the floor all limbs stretched out, not able to move an inch.

"For once it wasn't me," the Master remarked sarcastically from his desk.

"Oof..." She nudged the empty pizza box further away. At least he had kept word. Though it had felt surreal seeing a villain like him ordinarily ordering food and she had to try really hard not to laugh. Although she still felt a lot more like punching him for the thing with the gun.

And now he was so bold to just sit there... and to read a book. Casually. What a weird guy, she thought. But even someone like him couldn't be destroying worlds all day. Sometimes even a villain had to be... normal? Roka grinned. He was probably reading something that would help finishing a weapon.

"Stop staring at me." He didn't even look up. "You're annoying."

"Was just wondering..." she mumbled.

"About what?" Lowering the book revealed puckered eyebrows.

"Let me guess..." Roka pointed a finger into the air. "'10 ways to destroy earth in a day'. Or... 'How to tame a human'."

He snorted. "What the heck are you talking about?"

"Your book."

"Who would write something idiotic like that?" The Master chuckled.

"Don't know..." She grinned and glanced towards him. "Someone like you."

He laughed. "No, if anything at all I'd write about... hmm..." For a moment he thought about it, forehead wrinkled. "'A guide to find the most tasty food in the universe'." He laughed at that thought and shook his head.

Roka giggled. That had been a bit unexpected. "I know what  _I_ 'll write about as soon as I get out of here.... 'The ultimate guide to become a cliché villain.' ... Yep, I think that'll do. With  _that_  reference..." She stuck out her tongue at the Master.

"Oi, I'm not cliché!" he protested.

"You totally are! So far you are the ultimate prototype of a comic book villain." She counted her fingers up. "Chaotic, randomly cruel, fascinated by his own plans, wants to destroy earth for no reason, including the enslavement of humanity..."

"Don't forget, 'crushing your psyche when he's bored'." A mean grin spread on his face and he leaned back with folded hands.

"Good luck with that." Roka smiled. She'd been long gone before he would have the chance to do that.

Leaning onto his desk he stared at her for a moment, smirking slightly. "I'm more interested in the chapter 'How to deal with annoying hostages'." The Master stood up, came over and dropped his book on Roka's stomach.

"Oooow.... man! Ooof... don't do that..."

"There, read and shut up. It's too loud today anyway. Can't concentrate on it."

What was he talking about? Some of the devices around gave off a slight humming here and there, but apart from that the room was only filled with a heavy silence. She didn't get an answer to her questioning glance, so she picked up the book and looked at it surprised while sitting up. It was an old copy of Moby Dick.

"Oh... I read that as a child." She smiled and looked at the pages. "Nice... looks like a complete version. It's surprisingly hard to get by one."

"The only thing you humans are good at."

"Huh?"

"Literature." The Master waved a hand through the air as if to enclose this word into a bubble. "Most races don't write at all. Others only write facts. It's surprisingly rare to find actual stories."

"Mhm... I see..." Roka looked at him. "Then you're even more stupid than I am." When he raised an eyebrow she continued, "If you destroy this planet... there won't be anyone left to write these."

He looked surprised for a second, then laughed.

"Hey, that's... I can't even argue against that."

"So, you stop?"

"Of course not! There are more than enough books written to spent a Time Lord's lifetime reading. Who needs more?"

" _I_  do. And with you super reading speed you'll run out of them faster than you think."

He grinned. "Just because I  _can_  read that fast doesn't mean I always  _do_. It's good to pull out information, but you miss all the nuances and details. And... hm..." A finger sat itself onto his chin. "You kinda have to slow yourself down so the pace of the story synchronizes within the speed of your own time stream."

"Huh, that's interesting. Never thought about it that way." Roka opened the book and started to read the first page when the Master crouched down next to her. She looked up again. "Get lost. I won't annoy you anymore."

"I'm curious." His head tilted. "Your brain is so limited. It just cancels out everything you don't concentrate on."

"I wish I could cancel  _you_  out." She sighed.

"How does it feel? Trapped up there..." He poked her forehead. "Looking through the eyes of the author like you're there yourself."

"Don't tell me you can't!" She looked at him in surprise, not getting an answer. But his look was curious, as if she were an interesting animal. "Hm... I don't know how to describe it. Depends on the words the author is choosing. Sometimes the book itself can't manage that. But when you lean back and just... let your mind wander off..." Her voice became quiet and slower. Her eyes closed. "Then yes, I can feel like I'm huddled together with the whole crew on deck in the cold storm, while Ahab is holding his frantic speech about the white whale."

"Ahab's an idiot." The Master rolled his eyes.

She looked down at the book. "No... just old and mad and bitter. I like that character. He's kinda fascinating. And scary."

"How is he fascinating?" The Master sounded surprised. "A stupid whale ate his leg and he kills his crew and ship  _and_  himself just to get revenge... on an animal... and he didn't even  _win_!"

Roka looked up and smirked. "Different times I guess. We  _do_  have some interesting history, and back then... for them the whale wasn't just an animal. It was... like a dragon. A mystical beast with a mind of its own. So dangerous, so deadly... The only thing worthy enough to throw your soul down into the abyss of the sea. The only enemy worth hunting." She smiled and slid a hand over the page. "I should go there one day... I bet it's exciting."

A chuckle let her look up again. He poked her chest. "You like the danger." His grin got mean and wide... and amused. "I start to wonder... who is playing... with whom?"

"Oh, I'm just waiting for a chance to strike." Roka grinned, but something had felt off the whole time and now she could finally point at it.

It took too long to be forgotten.

Sure, they were in the same room all the time, and she wasn't really invisible; especially not to single people. But still... it took too much time. Maybe the Master had written down some notes to remember her. He was the absolute opposite of stupid, so he probably already thought of something.

"Have you read Poe?" His curious voice suddenly ripped her out of the thought.

"I met him once..." Roka reminisced. "Only briefly though. Fascinating man. And fascinating stories. Wonderfully dark and a fine selection of words, if you ask me." But that probably wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Lovecraft?"

Roka looked up and tilted her head. Why was he asking her that?

"Uhm... yeah. I've read all of his stuff." She wondered... "Did you?"

A grin suddenly sat on the Master's face. "I even  _saw_  some of the locations he described. And I once held the Necronomicon in my hands."

"As if." Roka giggled, but he didn't look as if he was joking. "Wait... that stuff is real? You're  _not_  going to summon Cthulhu! That would..."

He started to laugh at her. "Some of it is real, yeah... and no, I won't." His face turned sour for a moment. "None of the summoning formulas so far worked..."

" _Of course_  you tried already." She sighed, then giggled. "See? Cliché. And idiotic too."

"Careful, human. I'm not letting you insult me." The Master gave her a mean look. "Should kill you for that remark alone."

"How can you be insulted by the truth," Roka answered snippy. She really shouldn't provoke him like that... but somehow she just couldn't keep herself from it. Something about him just gave her this itch.

"No self preservation? Or are you just overly stupid?" The Master cocked his head, observing her like an experiment.

"I just really can't stand you," she countered and added in a mumble, "and all stories must end one day."

He poked her chest again. "This is not a story though."

Roka laughed. "Who knows. In some parallel universe we might be exactly that..." Her hand wrote into the air. "Traces of black ink slowly soaking into the fabric of a paper sheet."

"Kinda poetic..." He stood up and went to his desk. "You should write that down."

But halfway back he turned around again, staring down at Roka for a moment as if contemplating something. Then he returned and sat in front of her with some distance.  
  
"What about Dante?"

 


	5. Voiceless Screams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A singing in her head wakes Roka up and she finds the Master in very strange company.

 

Something had woken her up. It was still dark and at first Roka had trouble remembering where she was. But then memories of a long and rather complex discussion about human literature creped back into her mind. That really had been weird, but somehow actually fun. Although the Master had some unsurprisingly twisted views on lots of topics.

There it was again. Roka couldn't identify it at first. It was like a vague indistinctive feeling of no origin. But as she woke up more it became clearer and clearer. It was a very faint sound inside her head. Like from everywhere at once. A low humming of some sort.

When she sat still and concentrated on the sound it got louder. An increasing and decreasing hum, or rather... a voiceless singing? She shook her head and snuck out of the room.

No one was there.

For a moment she was tempted to take a look at the Master's files, but the sound seemed to get a tiny little bit clearer and now it was like she could make out a direction.

Down... it came from below her. Roka was sure of it. Was it... calling her? It sounded so strange. Right inside her head and outside of it at once. Maybe she went crazy. Maybe the Master had poisoned her in her sleep, maybe... she shook her head. Whatever it was, there was no one around to stop her right now.

So she followed the sound through the halls. Through the darkness. The whole building seemed to be dark. She also couldn't see any guards. How strange. Maybe she should try and find the Doctor. Right now they probably could just sneak out and... No. She didn't have the keys. And those doors were thick and heavy. Even if she were able to find the place in this eternal darkness, she wouldn't be able to actually open the door.

After a while she stopped thinking about where she went. Maybe she was long lost. But a vague feeling told her she was heading in the right direction. Going down whenever she could.

Left... left again... right. Down again. Would she ever find the way back? How far into the ground did this building even reach? It felt like she was moving endlessly, right into the heart of the planet. Into the unknown, the abyss...

The sound got louder. She could hear it clearly now. Something was singing. Singing without a voice. Just humming a tune insider her head. A sad and lonely tune.

There was a glow in the distance. It felt like an eternity since she had last seen the corridors around her. Now she could make out the walls. They were made of thick metal and almost looked like the hull of a ship. Was she below the water? They were near the sea. It could be possible. It would also explain the strange lights that came from before her.

A door... or an opening. The light got brighter, the singing louder. There was a wall made of glass and behind it water. Dark and murky water filled with plants and rocks. Who would build a window to face rocks?

Someone was standing there, leaning his hand against the glass, watching the outside. A dark and foggy being. Like it had no substance. She couldn't make it out very clear. Her head was spinning from the sound inside. But still she had to get closer. It was calling... calling for her.

Roka reached the room and stood still. This wasn't a figure, it was the Master. He hadn't noticed her arriving. He probably couldn't even perceive her right now. If she just stayed quiet she could wait until he would be leaving and then... then what?

He turned around and faced her. Could he see her? Or was it just instinct? Sometimes people got a vague feeling of being watched, but still couldn't notice her. But no, it wasn't like that.

"How did you get down here?" His voice sounded surprised. "You can't have followed me. That was hours ago. How..."

"The voiceless singing lead me." Roka's head was spinning. She felt dizzy. It had gotten so loud it was hard to hear anything else. Her gaze got foggy. "It was... calling. I... I..." She stepped closer into the room. Towards the wall of glass, feeling the Master's eyes on her.

"You can hear it?"

"Of course I can. How could I not? It's so...loud. My head hurts. Where does it come from? What is this? Where... are we?"

"Below the sea. I tracked down a strange signal. The building was abandoned. And down here..." He looked back to the glass. "I can't hear it."

Roka looked surprised at him.

"Maybe you can only have  _one_  thing constantly ticking inside your head." He turned towards her. "You... don't look good. How does it feel? Does it say anything?"

"What? No... no it doesn't." She saw him stepping towards her, lying his hands around her head, but she was so dizzy, she couldn't fight it.

"Let me hear it."  He put his forehead against hers and for a while stood still, completely silent. Was he reading her mind? Could he actually hear it now? Whatever he did, it felt weird and the singing slowly got accompanied by a strange rhythm. Like a faint drumming in the back of her head.

Then he let go of her.

Roka couldn't stand anymore and sank to her knees. It still got louder. Now it was resonating through her whole body and she could feel her heart pounding like mad. And now there was also the drumming.

"What did you do? Why did you...?"

"I was just listening. I can't hear it myself."

"It's driving me crazy. It gets louder and louder. What is it? Where does that rhythm come from?"

"What rhythm?" The Master crouched down before her, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Did it just appear? A rhythm of four? Does it sound like a drum?"

Confused she looked up to him and nodded. "It just appeared when you..."

He let go of her and laughed. "No... no. That can't be. You can't hear that." He looked almost as confused as Roka. "It's just an echo. Even if it  _were_  real. You're not psychic, and just a human... you can't... "

"What? What is it?"

"A curse." He stared at her. "Constantly, constantly in my head. It never stops, always calls."

The Master pulled her up and turned her towards the glass wall. What was she supposed to see? There was just rock and some plants and... Did the rock in front of her... move? It definitely did. And that... that wasn't a crack. It slowly opened and Roka gasped out of surprise.

It was a huge eye.

Now she could make out more details. What she had thought was a rock was actually skin. Thick gray... no, white skin. And there were veins. Bluish glowing veins were crossing the whole giant body, illuminating the room.

"Is that a... a whale?" The singing suddenly got louder. Painful, desperate. Now she understood. The creature was trapped down here. And it was screaming for help.

Roka felt rage boiling up inside of her. "Let it go." Her voice was cold.

"No."

She spun around and grabbed the Master by his jacket. "I don't care what your stupid plans are. Let it go!" The singing, the drumming, the pain in her head. It made her so angry. "I swear, I don't know what I'll do to you, if you don't."

A big grin spread on his face. He bowed down to her, staring directly into her eyes. "Careful little human." His face came even closer. "What will you do, eh? Staring me to death?"

Hear head was spinning. Why was he so close? It made her mad. Her heart was pounding like it was about to explode. So close... She just wanted to... He grabbed her hands and loosened them from his jacket. Then he stepped back.

"I can't. Literally. I tried since I found it, but the glass is too strong and there is no god dam lock."

She was shaking. Everything was spinning. The Master turned back to her and came closer again.

"Promise to be nice and I will get rid of the signal for you."

"Just so? For what price?"

He grabbed her head, pressing his forehead against hers again. "This one is free. It would just make you mad. And then you're useless." He grinned meanly. "Focus on the sound... on both." She did. And after a few seconds they faded away. Slowly getting quieter until the silence pressed against hear ears. She felt the hands letting go of her head and she stumbled back a few steps.

Roka stared at the Master for a second. He turned to the glass again. "Just in case you haven't noticed... it's alien. This kind of whale lays eggs that are filled with chemicals so deadly... It's fascinating how they can hatch out of that stuff."

Roka laughed suddenly. "For a moment it almost seemed as if you wanted to free the poor creature. But you just want to use it."

"Hey, I  _will_  set it free afterwards. There is no fun in killing creatures that can't think. Also, those are extremely rare. Whoever caught it probably was after a lot of money. I could sell it."

Her head was still hurting. She looked into the big sad eye and stepped to the glass, lying her hand and forehead against it. "It was crying for help... poor creature. I can't help you."

"You can." The Master stepped beside her, laughing softly. "I bet the Doctor would love this. In helping me freeing the whale you will also grant me a terrifying weapon. What a dilemma. I should tell him."

"I told you, I don't care about earth as much as he does. But this singing. This cry. It was so... sad and lonely. I can't leave it here." She turned around to face him. "Fine, I'll help. But we're still enemies. And I will still find a way to free the Doctor."                

He bowed down to her. "And the moment you think you triumphed... I will fill these eyes with true fear. That's a promise."


	6. Professional Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being a villain is surprisingly boring. Annoying one definitely isn't.

**Summary:**  
Being a villain is surprisingly boring. Annoying one definitely isn't.

* * *

"Let me see the Doctor," pleaded Roka about the fifth time.

"No. Stop asking and be useful for once."

"How do I know if he is well or not? I can't trust you."

Roka sat on the ground (of course he hadn't gotten her a chair or anything the like) in front of a Laptop, researching some alien chemical formulas. Most of them were useless. The glass was as alien as the trapped whale and extremely sturdy. Whoever had captured it had been careful with its cage.

She sighed, leaning her head back. "Then do your research yourself. I'm useless with chemistry. Or I'll just annoy you until you let me talk to him."

"Or... I cut out your tongue and you're finally quiet." He said that in such a casual tone that Roka shivered for a moment. If she wasn't careful, she was sure, he would really do that. But still...

"I bet I can be annoying without a tongue." She sat the Laptop down, viciously staring at the Master.

"How about I just lock you up with him? Then you can annoy the hell out of each other." He rolled his eyes, but didn't even take them off a paper he was reading.

Roka bit on her lip. She had nothing to bargain with. And she was pretty sure the Master wouldn't just quietly kill the Doctor. If he would, he would do it in some unnecessarily dramatic way.

She sighed again and continued the research. She was at it for three days now. Without much of a result. It seemed as if this kind of glass was specifically made to ensure everything inside would  _stay_  inside. Like dangerous waste... or even prisoners. Some theorized it was possible to throw such a glass container directly into a sun without even damaging it.

Being a villain really was hard work.

She giggled at that thought.

"Must really suck to have such a short attention span." He threw the paper away. "So much useless stuff. The universe is filled with idiots. Can't impossibly be  _that_  hard to blow up some god dam glass."

"Apparently..." Roka yawned. "... it is. And I still don't think chemicals will help a lot."

She also really quickly had lost all hope of finding something useful to rescue the Doctor via the internet. Well... if she was honest to herself, that was to be expected, even with access to multiple times and even different planets. And since she was under constant observation, there was also no other way of even taking a look around, especially not to search the building.

"A chain reaction inside the earth's core could do it," the Master suddenly said cheerfully. "With the right bomb..." His hands spread. "It just makes a big loud boom! And you whole solar system is gone." He grinned.

"You know..." Roka couldn't suppress a smirk. "I kinda really would love to watch that. But it's a stupid idea."

"It's spectacular. Looks amazing every time."

"Aaaand... if it works it would kill...let's see... 7 billion humans, even more animals, every life form on surrounding planets - if there are any. Oh... and the whale too."

"Not my problem."

"Including its eggs."

"Ugh... can't you just shut off your brain?" He rolled up some paper pellets and threw them one by one at Roka.

She giggled. "Nope, my logical processing threads are constantly running."

"You're not an android!" he protested and threw another pellet. "Wait... you aren't, right?"

"Would explain a few things... but no. The Doctor scanned me more often than I can count... and it seems as if I'm definitely, completely human. Right to the core. Although my brain can handle much more input than that of other humans." She yawned again. "Just not with chemistry... ugh... whoever invented that stuff, I deeply hate him."

Another pellet hit her head.

"You have to talk about a short attention span." She sat down the laptop and looked over to him. The Master was leaning back in his arm chair and was just about to aim a particularly big one at her.

"Isn't it boring to sit around here all day?" he asked and threw.

Roka evaded while sticking out her tongue.

"Well... you never let me out of sight. And this research is boring as hell... not even YouTube and creepy pastas make that better."

"Tch... am I not scary enough for you?" he asked in a put-on disappointed tone. "Come on! At least tell me you're more afraid of me than of ghosts!"

"Actually..." She tilted her head, adding a dramatic pause. "No."

"Aaaaw, that's a lie!"

"I'm also not afraid of ghosts," added Roka grinning.

Suddenly he sat back straight and stared intensely at her. "If you had all of time and space in your hands... where would you go?"

"Uhm... I don't know... why?" she asked skeptically.

"You know where the TARDIS is hidden. I can fly it. Just tell me where you want to go."

Roka laughed. "Nice try." She picked up some of the paper pellets to throw them back. "I was actually wondering why he hid her... but I guess he had a hunch you would be there."

"Therefore he was ridiculously easy to catch." One of the pellets hit his head and Roka giggled happily only to earn a mean glance. "You're either really stupid... or just brutally unaware of the danger you are in." He didn't even sound annoyed. "I don't think I ever had a hostage that was so..."

"Unimpressed?"

"Not scared..." He paused for a second. "I could kill you every second, you know. As soon as I get bored of you... And I know some pretty nasty methods to do that." Another pellet hit his head and Roka couldn't hold back a laugh.

"Then you never find out my super clever idea to ruin your plans and save the day." Not that something like that would exist.

Suddenly the Master stood up and came towards her. Roka gulped and knew she had gone too far. He kicked the laptop out of the way, not hard enough to damage it though, and bowed down a bit, only to grab her head very tightly and pull her up. It hurt and she frowned at him.

"Tzz, I can still read your thoughts, you know..."

He stared into her eyes, scrambling through her head and his gaze was cold and mad and... Roka couldn't look away. There was something in those eyes that confused her. Ancient and somehow... sad? It took her a moment, but then she realized, what it was. She had seen this before, but never this strong and never accompanied by so much raging chaos. Those eyes... they held the stars in them.

"Why... are you looking at me like that?" Suddenly sounding confused the Master let go of her and Roka struggled for a second not to fall. "Stop that."

She shook her head and looked down to her feet. If she ever had felt the slightest itch of fear, now it was gone. Even when he forced her to look up again, observing her, all she could do was to look into those gaping depths, still confused.

He flicked her forehead. "Seriously, that's creepy." His eyebrows raised up, then he grinned. "Do I fascinate you? No? It's not fear either..." Poking her once more he added, "Anyway... seems the Doctor has hidden the location even inside your head. Means you have to tell it willingly. Really clever of him."

"I won't tell anything," said Roka in a toneless voice while sliding down into a sitting position again.

"Oh, we'll see about that." He sounded cheery once more. "I'll think of something nice for you."

Roka didn't respond. She just grabbed the laptop again and tried to forget about what she had just seen.


	7. Poisoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roka has to choose between her life and giving away the location of the TARDIS.

That was the last part. Only a few screws needed to be tighten up and...

"Yes, it works!" She held the device up so the Master could inspect it. "But don't touch the strings."

He crouched down to her, inspecting the thing. It was a small round socket with multiple metal arms and other metal extensions. And emitting from those came two strings of light that faded very quickly and were spiraling each other.

"Amazing, right? I've never seen it like that!"

"No reason to be so childish. It's just light."

"Hey! As if  _you_  wouldn't act childish all the time! Let me have some fun. And besides..." She took it back from his hands. "... it's not just light. It only emits some. But the strings are actually pure opposing energy. See? They are eternally spiraling, but are too different." She smiled. "Kinda like two people dancing around each other. Never able to stop, never able to look away... and never able to ever touch, cause they would just cease to exist."

"Your head is weird." His eyebrows raised.

"Huh, why now?"

"It spins a fairy tale out of some lights... Is that device of any use at least?"

Roka had given up on the chemistry part and opted to try out different ideas that, favorably, wouldn't destroy the whole planet. Why the Master let her do it in the end was unknown to her. Maybe it was to test her, maybe he just wanted to see her struggle and fail.

"Uhm... well... not so much. Before you mourn, we just need the right catalyst..." She looked at him and grinned. "And then... Boom!"

"Alright, I start to like it."

"Well, it's not a very visible explosion though. It's more of a... err... How to put it... In theory it should internally shutter the structure of all surrounding matter with the same frequency. A chain reaction of energy blasting through the surface of whatever I tune it into. More or less just dematerializing it."

"You know what? I'm actually... almost impressed."

"Ha! Told ya, I'm good!"

"Almost... we don't have a catalyst. So it's just another useless idea."

"Maybe, but since you're so much smarter than I..." She put a batch of papers in his hands. "...you can surely find something compatible. Here are the requirements."

"How do you even know of that?" He flipped through the pages and looked actually a bit impressed. "This isn't stuff the Doctor would teach a human. You clearly got some knowledge you  _shouldn't_  have."

Roka laughed. "That's the advantage if you're invisible.  No one can stop you from spending decades reading through the coolest library in the universe."

"Decades...?" He lay down the batch of papers and stared interestedly at Roka. "That doesn't match with your age."

Roka gulped. She shouldn't have said that.

"I... err... was quite young when he..." But a mean grin had already spread on the Master's face. He knew she was lying. And it was no problem for him to just read it from her mind if he wanted. "Uhm... alright, but I don't quite understand it myself... It seems my glitch was somehow threatening to the TARDIS, so the automatic defense system... froze me in time."

"Now  _that_  is interesting." And without a warning he lay a finger on her forehead and closed his eyes for a few seconds. His grin got wider. "Very... very... interesting. You're not lying. I can't feel your time stream moving." The Master grabbed her collar, dragging her into a standing position. "Now I'm really eager to find out if you still can get hurt."

Roka stared at him with a mean look on her face.

"High pain threshold, eh? Or rather... no pain at all? Is that the reason you're not afraid of me?"

"Alas I do feel some. My senses just seem to be a bit messed up. Only gives me migraines though." She frowned at him.

He let go of her and Roka rubbed her throat. "I tested it thoroughly. I simply don't age, everything else seems to be unaffected."

"I wonder if you can still... die."

Roka didn't like that look.

"Obviously... I never tried  _that_  out."

"Oh, we could change that... I always wanted to test this stuff on someone." He pulled something out of his pocket. It was a small object with a pointy end. "That's a very nice poison, you know..." He tapped against it with a wide grin. "It attaches itself to your nerve endings, sending waves of pain through your whole body." Somehow he managed to sound very happy about that.

"No thanks." She gulped. "Doesn't sound like a pleasant death."

"Oh, it's not even what kills you." Now his grin got really mischievous. "It also slows down your heartbeat. Bit by bit. Until it... just... stops."

Roka made a step backwards. She  _really_  didn't like that look.

"Sounds familiar. I read about it." She stood straight and grinned at him with a mean glint in her eyes. "Would be really stupid to use that."

"So? You're just bluffing." He stepped closer. "I think... it would be fun." And faster than she could have reacted, he hit the needle right into her neck.

Roka's eyes got wide of surprise. The Master grabbed her by her shoulders.

"You've got around... five minutes?" His voice was cheery. "Let's play..."

"Ugh, that stuff works fast." Already feeling a little shaky a first wave of pain hit her. It felt like all her veins very cramping. She tried to breathe, but it was so hard. It hurt a lot more than she had ever imagined, waving through her whole body and making her feel sick to the stomach.

He put his hand under her chin to make her look up to him. "How about you finally tell me where the TARDIS is hidden?"

"How about... I don't?" She frowned.

He reached inside his pocket once more and got out another needle, grinning widely. "Look at that... an antidote. Tell me and you'll get it. Isn't that a fine game?"

She really had trouble to breath. The waves run through her, making her shiver and squirm. Her mind was racing, what could she do? There was no way she could tell anything. "It's a stupid game. You can't even win it." She tried to get the meanest smile on her face she was able to at that moment.

"So? I told you, I'll think of something fine to get the info. Surprise!" He smiled down to her.

Another wave of pain made her gasp. Her legs got weak, she had trouble standing, but as she sank down on her knees the Master caught her, going down with her, forcing her to stay awake.

He shook her. "You're dying! Just tell..."

"Ugh... do me... a favor then. And let me go without annoying me." She sank against his chest. Not that she wanted to. But it was so hard to keep control over her muscles. Breathe... just breathe. But it was so hard. Her whole body was shivering like mad.

"Hey, don't just give in!" He shook her once more. "How can you be so stupid!? He doesn't even remember you!"

"It's not even about... the Doctor." She couldn't help but laugh. "I just enjoy defeating you at... your own game. Ugh... that bloody hurts though..."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. Roka stared into his eyes.

"Idiot... there isn't an antidote for it." She actually enjoyed seeing the surprise on his face. "What you got there... only buys me some time." Another wave hit her, letting her breath getting heavier. She could barely feel her heartbeat anymore. "Ugh... if the amount is low enough, my body could withstand until it gets out of me... But... you... idiot... just used up the full dose..."

"You're lying." He let go of her chin and she could feel a needle prick in her shoulder. "There, see? It's working... right?"

Nothing happened though. Roka shivered, she felt so cold. But suddenly all she could do was laugh at the absurdity of this.

"I don't get you..." His voice sounded completely confused. "How can you laugh? Why are you not screaming and crying and... whatever people do when they die."

"Heh... it's just... fun to ruin your day." She mustered all her strength to look at him. Into those gaping holes that held all the stars of the universe in them, although it was more a feeling than an actual image. Old and sad. No, she hadn't imagined it.

He stared at Roka, shaking her once. "There is no fear in you. Why? How?"

She smiled, letting her head sink again, as her muscles refused to obey. "Cause... there is nothing left to be... afraid of."

She could hear his hearts beating. This fascinating strange doubled rhythm. Not her own anymore though... not long. Maybe a minute or so... She could barely speak anymore, but at least the pain had stopped. Had it been too late? She felt her head getting foggy, her thoughts slowed down. Not long... and there might be nothing more. And still... she could not feel fear. Not even a bit of it. No, why should she? It was strangely warm, leaning against him like that. At least...

"I do... have to thank you though... in a way," she mumbled, probably barely understandable. "I always thought... I was cursed to die all alone... forgotten by the whole... universe. How ironic..." She smiled. "Don't get the wrong idea though... I still don't like you."

No answer... She raised her head once more. Still just this confused and angry look. Those eyes would be the last thing she would ever see, Roka realized.

"Good night... grim reaper." She couldn't feel her body anymore, her thoughts faded and everything went dark.

Silence fell over the room.

 


	8. Of tricks and fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes being stupid is he only way to stay alive. And somehow it seems to change how the Master things of his new toy.

Finally the Master moved, looking down at the lifeless body, carefully grabbing her shoulders and pushing her away from him a bit. No reaction.

"Tch... you're just fooling me." His voice was angry. He shook her. "I don't let you win this, you hear me?"

After a while of angrily staring at Roka he carefully lay her down to the ground.

"I... don't get it... Laughing at death like that?! It makes no sense." Confused he shook his head. "None at all..." He stared at her for another few seconds.

Then he noticed that something was weird. Like a shadow in the corner of his perception, a slight pull in his stomach, similar to adrenalin, but almost painful. An almost tangible electric crackling filled the air. A snapping of... something was tearing apart... What a weird sensation. Did he imagine it?

"Ah, what a waste." His voice got toneless. "It was fun... this little game..." He blinked a few times. Had the drums gotten louder too? "Now it'll be boring again. Poor Doctor will cry about you. He will be very... very angry that I killed one of his pets. That's something at least..." Some moments passed and really, they got louder. And louder.

His hands moved towards his head. He shook it and squinted his eyes... Why now? He had to focus on this other thing. This ripping and tearing in the air. Never before had he felt anything like it, and it was a foreboding sensation. As if something was falling apart, tearing at the very fabric of reality. And its origin seemed to be the dead girl.

"Ugh... Bloody drums. keep quiet. Why can't they just... stop. This is your fault!" He threw an angry gaze at Roka. The air around her was slightly distorted, or did he imagine it? It was so hard to focus on anything.

The crackling got more intense, making the air vibrating slightly. At the same time the drums got overwhelmingly loud. The world vanished, drowned, and all that was left was this rhythm, always, always, always repeating. Always... calling. And now accompanied by whatever got ripped open around him.

Something hit his chest.

The Master opened his eyes, the gaze very slowly returning from the brink of insanity. The air stood still again. Gone was the weird crackling and ripping, and there was a fist at his chest. As he followed the arm, still slightly puzzled, he stared into the girl's opened eyes.

"Hey, don't you dare crying over me." It was supposed to sound sarcastic, but Roka could barely get the words out. Her limbs felt numb and it seemed as if her eyes weren't working properly. She had heard his mumblings though, but hadn't been able to react until now. Life came back into her body, but very, very slowly and it felt as if every muscle and every nerve was on fire. She was barely conscious.

His hands fell down, his eyes showing nothing more than utter confusion.

"What? You're dead!" He stared down to her, then suddenly started to laugh. "I went insane at last, right? That  _had_  to happen eventually." He shook his head. "You can bare those drums only for so long..."

The drums seemed to bother him really a lot, but since she had heard them herself for a short moment - even if it was just an echo - she could imagine someone going mad from having those inside one's mind at every moment. "Not more than usually." She stuck out her tongue and gave him a sarcastic smirk. "You really should check for remaining life signs before declaring someone as dead." Trying to get up she felt her whole body rebelling against every movement. "Ugh... it still hurts like hell. Look what you've done, you mad old idiot. I'm not dead... At least I really hope so..."

Slowly the Master seemed to come to the conclusion that he  _had_  retained some of his sanity - for now. A confident grin spread on his face. "Ha! So you  _are_  afraid."

Roka blinked. She tried to see something, but her eyes just refused to focus on anything. "Still not. But... if I  _were_  dead... it would mean I had to endure you even in the afterlife." It was slow, very slow, gradually she could move her limbs again. She still couldn't raise her voice much though, but was already able to enjoy the little triumph she had gained there and smiled mean. "I lied... about there not being an antidote."

A surprised laugh echoed through the room. "You tricked me, you sneaky little thing." He shook his head, still quietly laughing. "Not bad... not bad at all."

She stared up to the ceiling and shivered. It had been a dangerous move. "It felt though as if it really  _were_  too late. It was so cold. There was nothing. I was sure the last thing I would..." She didn't continue. Had she been dead for a moment?

The Master leaned over her. "You could feel it? The grip of death... How can you still laugh?! You should be terrified!" He grabbed her by her collar and pulled her up.

"Ugh... oow... it still hurts. Let go of me," she moaned.

"Only if you tell me... tell me why you're not afraid. I don't get it. It makes no sense." He shook her.

"You wouldn't like it." Roka smiled. "And you wouldn't understand, afraid as you are yourself." She felt her energy fading very rapidly now. Tiredness spread through her body and mind, but not the same way as before. "Just... let me sleep. And... get me some coffee." She tried to wink, but the world faded quickly again.

* * *

When she opened her eyes the next time she lay on the sofa. The smell of coffee hit her nose and a grin stole itself on her face. So he actually  _could_  be nice. Though Roka felt bad, very bad. Her head hurt like mad and her heart was racing. She let her gaze wander around the room. It had to be morning, or at least it wasn't dark. But still, everything looked a bit... blurry.

She sat up and held her head in her hands for a while. The blurriness didn't vanish. Maybe her eyes had gotten damaged. And if that was the case... what else? Her brain? Her heart? Other organs? She wasn't very skilled in medicine, but having such a low heartbeat for minutes couldn't be very healthy. And still... what else could she have done? Just tell him where the TARDIS is hidden? Certainly not.

Roka grabbed the coffee and carefully took a sip, satisfied realizing he had used her temperature chip. Could she still read? She couldn't make out the title of the book next to her and the text on the pages kept slipping away. This wasn't good.

"Awake?"

She looked up. The Master leaned at the door frame with folded arms, probably carefully observing her. What look he might have on his face right now, she wondered, still not sure what to make of his reaction before. Taking another sip of coffee she carefully observed his movements, deciding not to react.

"Fine, ignore me." He laughed. "Come, I'll bring you to your precious Doctor."

She sighed and broke her silence. "Why?"

"None of your business. I just need you locked away for an hour or so."

Roka carefully stood up. Her head was spinning. She held her hand against it. "Ugh... damn headache..." she mumbled.

"There's painkillers on the table."

Roka looked down. There was a blurry white dot and a glass of water she hadn't noticed before. She stared at it, not sure if it was safe. It could be another poison. In her state most things would probably kill her quickly. She heard a laugh.

"It's really just that."

"Whatever..." mumbled Roka and took the tablet. "Just... do me a favor and stop being nice... that's creepy."

"That's not being nice..." It was hard to tell what tone his voice had. It was just calm. "I just can't stand whiny humans."

Roka could feel his eyes on her, cold and observing. She ignored him and tried to move past him out of the room, when he grabbed her arm.

"Not a single word about the whale or its eggs..." He bowed down to her ear. "I have more than one nasty poison in stock. I bet one of those  _will_ scare even you."

Roka tore her arm out of his grip and then tried to punch him as hard as she could. He was too quick though and she only hit his arm, earning nothing more than an amused laugh.

"Try harder." He caught the next punch with his hand and held her fist so tightly she couldn't move anymore. "Not very impressive. You hit like a girl." A chuckle followed and she felt a poke on her forehead. She sighed frustrated and relaxed her muscles again. There wasn't even that much anger insider her... she just wanted to punch him, simply for being him.

"Let go... I'm done."

"Don't try that again." His voice was menacing. "Or I have to tie you up." He let go of her and then suddenly ruffled her hair, followed by an amused chuckle.

 


	9. Blinded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Roka can see the Doctor, but there still seems to be something wrong with her eyes

The Doctor wasn't in the cell anymore. Instead he was locked away in a quite modern looking and brightly lit library. Not too big, but well enough equipped to keep one busy for a while. And a man like the Doctor had to be. There was nothing more dangerous than a bored Time Lord.

The Master pushed Roka into the room and got out his gun, pointing it at her head. "Do something stupid... well, I guess you know what happens then. And we don't want to stain all those nice books, right?" He smirked and gave her a poke with the muzzle and she moved forwards to the middle part of the library. It was more spacious and a TV stood there in front which the Doctor was sitting, a gamepad in hand and obviously enjoying a videogame.

A giggle escaped Roka when she realized he was playing Skyrim. Even with her blurry sight she could make it out easily. "Give the poor man a PC", she said to the Master. "Looks so much better with Mods."

At the sound of her voice the Doctor turned around and his gaze met that of the other Time Lord, before it wandered down. A few seconds later he recognized Roka and sprang up, rushed towards them and gave her a big hug.

"You don't look good, are you all right?" His voice sounded concerned and Roka tried to keep her head down so he couldn't see her eyes.

"Yeah... I guess I am. Although I was probably dead for a few seconds." Out of the corner of her eye she threw a mean glance at the Master behind her.

"What!?" The Doctor let go of her and rushed towards the Master, completely ignoring the gun that was pointing at him. "What have you done to her?"

"Use my name, Doctor... and I might tell you," he offered cheerily. "I just had some fun with your little pet."

The gun between them was probably the only reason the Doctor didn't dare to do more than staring angrily at the other man.

"I'm fine. Still alive, see?" Roka wiggled her arms around and smiled. She really wasn't eager to see her only friend getting shot.

"She's crazy, Doctor..." The Master nodded towards her. "What did you caught yourself there?" All he got was probably a mean look and after a few seconds he turned around. "The whole room is monitored. Don't try something funny." With that he left the Doctor and Roka alone.

"You're really all right?" The Doctor asked carefully and waved her over to sit down once more. He handed her the gamepad. "Want to try? I love that game. It has dragons!"

Roka giggled and gave him back the gamepad. In her current state it would be impossible to play, but she just said, "Ah, I think I played that one far too much."

It was surprisingly hard to talk, since she wasn't allowed to tell anything and she didn't even dare to hint at stuff. Also the necessity to remind the Doctor of her presence every ten minutes or so didn't help, but she didn't want to waste a single second.

"Well, at least he got you some good games." She looked through the cases and could recognize most of the covers from their color patterns. "You should try Dark Souls."

"I wanted to... but the CD is completely scratched," sighed the Doctor disappointed.

Roka took it out and felt the surface. It had definitely been destroyed on purpose. She burst out into laughter. "Well... that's not a surprise." For a while she just sat next to the Doctor and watched his blurry player character moving around in the snow. "Don't worry." It was so hard to sound confident. "I'll get you out of here."

The Doctor looked over and gave her a wink. "Don't think I'm just sitting around. I'll come up with something good eventually. You know me!"

A smile came to her face and for the first time in days she actually felt a little bit safer, like always when the Doctor was around. Even the most dangerous creatures feared him and there never had been a situation he wouldn't have found a way out of. Everything suddenly seemed surreal and she wished they could just walk away and forget about it all.  
  
But for now it sounded as if he hadn't come up with a plan yet... The thought made her feel down again. There had to be  _something_. She wanted to get away from the Master as fast as possible. Even though she didn't show it, his complete unpredictability did unnerve her.

"But you really shouldn't have put yourself in danger, Roka." He lay down the gamepad and looked at her. "He is dangerous, but he loves to make everything more complicated than necessary. Usually gives me enough time to stop all his plans."

"Sorry," Roka said quietly, really meaning it. "I just... reacted. I thought he would kill you immediately otherwise." She lay her arms above her knees and buried her face in them.

The Doctor carefully grabbed her shoulders. She couldn't look at him, didn't want him to see her broken eyes. "Hey, remember, you're not me, okay? Leave the dangerous stuff to me. And don't give in to the Master. Whatever he does to you, it's just a game for him. He tries to break you..."

"I know. But he won't manage." She smirked. "In theory... locking me up here was a bad idea. By now he probably already forgot about me." Maybe her glitch would be good for something for once.

But right as she finished the sentence the door opened and Roka spun around. How was that even possible? Even the Doctor forgot her every few minutes and she had been in here for over an hour.

"Enough family time. We have work to finish," came the Master's cheery voice.

"What are you forcing her do, Master?" The Doctor let go of Roka and she stood up to leave him with a heavy heart.

"Uhhh, I like when you use my name. Don't worry, she does it voluntarily. Believe it or not." He laughed. "You'll see... very... soon."

* * *

The Master put a paper in her hands and cheerfully added, "I found a catalyst. But the device needs some modifications."

Roka stared at it... it wouldn't be possible with that blurry sight. Even the blueprint was barely recognizable to her. She handed it back to him.

"Just do it yourself. I need more sleep to get that crap out of my system." She turned away from him and wanted to move to the other room when she felt a drag on her neck.

"No way. You built that thing. And so badly, it would take me at least a day to modify it."

"Not my problem. Let me go." She ripped at her collar angrily, but the Master already had pulled her back and probably was about to say something mean, but then let go of her and she could see him observing her.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" He held her head tight. "That's... interesting." His hand waved before her face. "You're not blind, right? Why didn't you tell?"

"And allow you a victory?" She smirked. "I'll just get some glasses."

"That won't help." He flicked her forehead.

"Whatever, I can't modify the device like that."

"Stay still..." He moved to his desk and when he came back he had something in his hands that suspiciously looked like a sonic screwdriver. "Let's see what use that thing is. Keep your eyes open."

Roka heard the familiar sound of the Sonic. Of course he had taken it. Why did she even wonder?  The light hurt her eyes, but she kept them open.

"Is that thing broken?" He shook the Sonic then scanned her again. "Huh... strange."

"Maybe you're using it wrong." Roka stuck out her tongue.

"Heh, you wish. No. But there is nothing wrong with you. All nerves and muscles are intact. No brain damage. Simply... nothing. But you also can't simulate  _that_."

Roka closed her eyes and rubbed her fingers against the eyelids. She blinked. Still the same. "That makes no sense."

His voice sounded mischievous all of a sudden. "Psychosomatic shock... probably goes away in a few days. Or never."

Roka waved a hand before her eyes. "Well... congratulations then. Seems you managed to literally break me." She let out a dry laugh. Hadn't she just told the Doctor this wouldn't happen?

"And you laugh at it..." He shook his head. "I don't get you." But he sounded a bit amused.

"Well... my eyes just don't focus on anything, but I can still 'see' in a way. It's only bad for your plans, cause I can't use my hands without my eyes...." She stopped. That was bad. The longer this would take the longer she would have to stay here. "Or maybe... I could guide you. I don't like it, but you have to sit right next to me. That way you're not mirrored. And I still can see your movements. I know the device in and out."

At first it was strange and it seemed not to work, but after a few minutes Roka could tell him accurately what to do. She just really disliked sitting so close to him.

"That doesn't work. That patch is way too small," the Master protested.

"Of course it works." Roka laughed. "But my hands are smaller. You'll need a tool to open it. Just be careful, it's easily breakable."

"Give me your hand."

"What? No!" But he just grabbed her wrist. "Alright, alright. I have it. Wait a second... it's open." She rubbed her wrist. "Don't do that."

"You're sure you're not a child?" He chuckled. "No adult can have such tiny hands."

"Hey! I'm even older than I look!"

"Right... almost forgot. How old are you anyway?"

"The star-shaped screw has to peak out a bit. That stabilizes it." She thought for a while. "Good question. I was 24 when the Doctor picked me up... and in case I haven't completely lost track of time since then..." She gulped. "Ah, man! I'm stupidly old! Never thought about it..." She sighed. "Something around 46 or so? Good thing I'm frozen or I'd be all wrinkly by now."

"You know that this is not just effective  _inside_  the TARDIS, right?"

"Huh? Not?" That surprised her. She never had a method to check that.

"I can't see or in any other way perceive any movements in your time stream." Roka watched his hands moving. He was skilled with that stuff. Very skilled. She couldn't have done it better. So why did he keep her around? Why had he let  _her_  build something like that in the first place? "Maybe you will never age at all." He held the device against the light. "Not bad. Combining the chrono-wire with the spiral... not bad at all..."

Roka looked at him. While working he seemed so normal, concentrated... sane. And this was even something like a normal conversation. She wondered if he was right though. Would she ever age?

"So... I might never die without external force... Probably. Well..." Her voice got toneless. "I guess you'll do your best to find out eventually."

He laughed. "You can bet on that. Although it's somewhat boring when you're not scared." He sighed dramatically.

Roka said nothing. Was she really not afraid? In that poisoned state she had functioned almost automatically, without much thought she had just done what seemed to be the most logic thing to do. And still... even at that moment where she had been sure... Her thoughts drifted away until she felt a stare on her and looked up.

"What?" Roka blinked a few times and noticed that she had spaced out for a few minutes.

He shook his head and continued to work on the device. For a while now the Master hadn't asked her anything, so Roka assumed he had figured out how it worked. That was fast, she thought. Why did she have to stay around? In no way would it have taken him a day. It had been not even an hour with her guidance. But then again, Time Lords had much more effective brains than humans and the Doctor had told her, the Master was some sort of a genius.

"What's there to grin about?" His voice once more brought her back to reality.

"Was just thinking about how I would love to peek inside a Time Lord's brain. A shame there are only two of you left."

He poked her with a screwdriver. "Tch, am  _I_  supposed to be afraid now?" He laughed amused. "Good thing you're such a coward."

"I'm not!" protested Roka.

"You sure are." He chuckled. "You wouldn't dare to kill someone."

"I'm just not a murderer," she mumbled and clenched her stomach.

"Ah, don't worry. Stay around me for long enough and you'll be thrilled to become one. I seem to have that effect on people." He stuck out his tongue.

Roka stared at him, frowning. Another reason to get away fast. Then after a while she just leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes. She felt so tired and her head was still hurting. Some time passed before she felt a poke on her head.

"Seriously..." The Master's voice sounded disappointed. "You can fall asleep next to me?"

She blinked and looked confused at him. Then she giggled. "I can sleep everywhere. And that's not even the most dangerous place I've ever slept." She shrugged her shoulders.

"That's a blatant lie!"

"Does a sinking ship count?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Inside a volcano?"

"What? How... No, I don't want to know. And no, it doesn't count!" He was obviously amused.

"Leaning against a Dalek?"

"You're making that up!" Now he was laughing.

"No... they also don't see me. And I was somewhat... trapped there. Long story. And there was also that one time in a giant bird's nest... that beast tried to feed me afterwards... that was less fun."

"That's... that  _can't_  be true! "And even if!" He poked her once more. "I'm still more dangerous."

"Wouldn't be so sure about that", she countered. "I once slept inside a spaceship with broken thrusters. And it was heading into a red dwarf."

The Master was still laughing. "You're hilarious. No one would do that!"

Roka smirked. "Well... I  _am_  no one."

 


	10. Into dark minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still confused by Roka's lack of fear, the Master tries to find out more about her, with his own methods.

Her orientation was lost long before they reached the lowest floor. Since the device didn't need more modifications, acquiring the catalyst seemed to be outsourced and Roka couldn't do all too much cause of her eyes, the two had started to get bored. Really bored. And boredom was an enemy they both hated. So now they were heading downwards to see  _'the most amazing place in here'_ , as the Master had called it. All Roka knew about though, was that it got darker and colder the further down they went.

The Master handed her a flashlight with a clip. "The electricity down there doesn't work quite well." He pushed a button on the wall and two big metal doors opened into a gaping black maw. Roka stepped inside and saw literally nothing. Then a very dim light flashed somewhere in the distance. In the  _far_  distance. Another one. They weren't bright enough to really illuminate something. Especially not when your eyes weren't functioning properly.

But as all the available lamps had turned on, she could make out at least a few things. The first was, that the hall had to be gigantic. Several hundred meters in each direction. The second thing was, that it was filled with huge metal structures that probably had been some kind of machinery at one point. But they looked strange and... alien.

"Is that a factory of some sorts?" she asked towards the Master while rubbing her arms. It really was freezing down here.

"Must have been. No clue what for though. But definitely alien." He sounded happy. "But the best part about this... It seems this was a hideout for scavengers."

She inspected her immediate surroundings and really, the place was littered with... stuff of all shapes and sizes. Like the hall was some sort of huge junkyard. And as far as she could tell this continued far into the darkness, where she could make out vague piles below the distant lights.

"This. Is. Amazing!" she exclaimed and heard a laugh behind her.

"Thought you would like that. I spent days down here and haven't even scratched the surface. Most of my stuff upstairs is from here."

"So... are we looking for something specific? Or just gather everything that looks special?" She could barely keep herself from running into the darkness, although she was still shivering from the cold.

"Just passing time. Guess you're clever enough to recognize interesting things. Even with your sight." He glanced down to her. "Bring everything to the front part of the hall. I'll sort through it later."

Roka looked around excitedly, unsure at which end she should start. The Master moved passed her and some cloth dropped on her head. She took it down and saw that it was his jacket. Perplex she looked at it, but the Master was already out of sight, so, after some more seconds of staring at it in confusion, she just put it on. It was way too big, but at least she didn't freeze anymore.

The hall really was gigantic. It took her around ten minutes to walk from one end of it to the other. Maybe a bit less when she subtracted the time needed to climb over piles of... things. And all around arose huge metal structures into the dark. Like the arms of ancient long forgotten metal giants. They looked strange and some even outright creepy. Especially in the spare light. It was still almost pitch black in here. The few lamps and her torch didn't help much with it. Additionally loud creaks and moans filled the blackness around, and here and there other sounds, probably from still functioning devices somewhere.

She decided to not stray too far from the Master for now, who was throwing stuff around and occasionally jumping up and down some piles. This place was so big she easily could get lost in it. Which in itself was an absolutely exciting thought. Somewhere around she spotted a rope lift, that lead up one of the structures. As she looked up she saw thick metal scraps and junk leaned against it. Big enough to walk on them or climb them up even. But the rope lift would be faster and she already had spotted the button to activate it. There was a metal bar attached to the rope on which she put her feet before hitting the button. Slowly the rope began to move upwards and Roka couldn't for the life of her suppress a happy giggle as she rose farther and farther up.

The top of the structure was a small platform. Not really big enough to hold something, but at least wide enough to stand on it. She had no clue what it was good for. And even her hope of getting an oversight over the hall dropped into the darkness very fast. Looking down she felt a bit dizzy. It was a long way, surely twenty meters or so. Better not to look down there for too long, she thought and after some minutes, she grabbed the metal bar with one hand and pushed the button, before holding tight. This was dangerous... but heck, it was fun to dangle in the air like that, slowly moving downwards past all the alien things around her.

All of a sudden she felt a jolt and the rope slowed down fast. She looked down to see how far below the ground still was, only to look into a familiar and very widely grinning face. The rope came to a halt directly in front of him.

"Hey, I can talk to you on the same height for once." He chuckled.

"You climbed all the way up just to tease me?" Roka gave him a mean look.

"And to see how long you can hold on to that thing." He nodded upwards, still grinning. "How long does it take until your arms get tired?"

She looked down once more, then up to the Master again, sarcastically stating, "That's only three or four meters. I probably wouldn't even brake a bone."

"Would still hurt though."

Her arms really started to get a bit tired, but she could still hold on for a while yet. And now that she thought about it... the Master stood not even half a meter away. She could just... she reached out with one hand and grabbed his shirt, now grinning widely herself. "I fall, you fall."

He looked down to her hand, then up to her face and started to laugh. "You have a great mindset, girl. But... I'm a bit more robust than humans. Probably wouldn't even get a scratch. And you only have one hand left now."

She sighed frustrated and let go of him. "Come ooon, I don't have time for your games. I want to see the rest of this place."

"But it's fun letting you struggle up here." He tilted his head.

"Okay, okay, my arms  _are_  getting tired. Let me down." And after a few seconds she unwillingly mumbled, "...please... Master."

"Oh... look at that." He grabbed her and pulled her a bit closer. "You know how to beg properly." He let go of her and pushed the button behind him.

Down at the ground Roka stepped away from the rope as fast as she could, seeing the Master jumping and running down the metal bars, landing right next to her as if to brag with his agility.

She ignored him and went searching through crates and piles full of alien gadgets and rubbish and whatnot. It felt like hours had passed when she carried a pile of things to the front part of the hall. The Master came over to inspect them.

"That one's cool." She said happily, holding up a small triangular pin. "If you put it on your skin it takes a blood sample and projects your physical state directly into your mind." She laughed. "And that one..." she put on a reddish glowing bracelet. "...is a very fancy device to measure your pulse. It even shows a hologram of your heart." After a button press a green light emerged from the bracelet, showing a human heart and some numbers she couldn't read.

"It's not your pulse... it's how many beats your heart has left." He looked closer. "Want to know how long you would have without being frozen?."

"No, better not. In the end you tell me it's only one." She laughed. "In case I ever unfreeze I'll find out anyway."

"The possibility doesn't bother you?"

"Why should it?"

He tilted his head, looking at Roka. Due to her broken sight she couldn't tell what was on his mind, so she just pulled out the next thing. "I'm not quite sure what this one does. Makes me feel dizzy, when I hold it for too long." It was a small ball made of strange, faintly glowing metal.

"Don't tell me you tested all that stuff on yourself." His voice sounded doubtfully.

"Sure... how else should I find out what..."

"Are you stupid?" Interrupting her, he snatched the ball from her hand and threw it away. "That's alien tech. Who knows what it could do to you."

"I know, I know. But where's the fun otherwise?" She grinned happily. "There was this one thing where I really wasn't quite sure it wasn't a red-dust-bomb... those are nasty. And that one..."

"What the bloody hell is  _wrong_  with you!?" he suddenly snapped at her.

Roka, completely perplex, became silent.

"Aren't you even a tiny bit scared of danger?" He stared at her and his gaze felt angry.

"Uhm... well... sometimes. What do you care? You  _constantly_  try to harm me." She chuckled.

" _I_  know when to stop." The Master poked her chest.

"Says the man who poisoned me."

He bit on his lip. "Just... stop testing the stuff on yourself. That's an order." He shook his head. "Seriously... I don't get you." The Master stared her down for a few seconds. "I really wonder what made you that way."

"What... way?" Roka was still confused. She didn't really understand what he was even talking about.

"So... oblivious about death. Ignorant of your own life..." In his voice was something confused and something angry. "You just throw it away for a bit of fun? Really?"

"Hey, just because you're terrified of dying, doesn't mean, everyone has to be," she countered. What was so bad about this, she wondered.

Suddenly a grin spread on his lips. He stepped closer and leaned down to her. "Let me look into your mind", he said. "I bet I can find the source of this."

Her eyes widened. "Definitely not! I don't care what you don't get and I don't get why you even care..."

She wanted to step back, but he had already grabbed her head with both hands. "Don't struggle, or it will hurt." The grin got wider.

Roka froze. She knew his strength, but at the same time she also wasn't eager to let him dig around in her memories. What was it that confused him so much, she wondered. Then she felt a strange sensation running through her head that hadn't been there the last time. It was like a tingling in her mind and she had to close her eyes to endure it. How deep could he look inside her? Inside this door he had just pushed open.

Then she remembered something. Something she had heard a long time ago and forgotten since.

An open door can be entered both ways.

Suddenly her heart beat faster. This was stupid, she realized. But... If she could manage... Having no idea how it was supposed to work she just concentrated on the tingling sensation in her head until it got almost overwhelming. She tried to push it away, to imagine a door through which it emerged.

And slowly...

                    ...it got fainter...

                                                    ...vanished...

...dripped down...

                              ...darkness fell...

A swirl of colors...

              An image flashed...

                                      ...gone too fast to grasp.

There was a light, a sound.

                 Another flash.

Someone whispered a word, thunder resounded all around, a scream... no... multiple screams. Rain hammered against the window, fire fell from the sky, the fields were glowing orange in the light of the sinking sun, someone laughed, someone begged, someone screamed. That was a nice scar, that was a nice poem. The knife cut through flesh, the flower dropped to the ground. A rhythm in the dark. Where was everyone? They are all gone. Traitors, liars. Something ripped apart. Another scream, so many screams, so many voices begging... begging him to stop. He didn't stop. They were all gone. Left behind. An empty room. Painted red. Dark... Nothing inside. Just the rhythm, just the cold, the emptiness. How could they still laugh? Everyone betrayed, everyone left. Fog. Thick fog, red and warm, still pulsating, dripping red. Bleeding stars. Lonely mind, empty soul, cold shivers. Black ink tattooed in thoughts. Time spiraling in itself. A field of glaring gold. Crimson drops falling upwards. Whispers in the loneliness. Darkness in the void. A voice. So far away, "Follow me." Faintly, barely audible in the red fog. Follow, follow, where to? Forward, forward, never stopping until the mist thinned out, towards the whisper.

Gasping for air Roka opened her eyes again, feeling her heart racing, her muscles paralyzed. Her head sank down, she couldn't think. Where was she? What had happened?

"That... was stupid."

The voice brought her back to reality, slowly remembering. There was an arm around her shoulders, holding her tight and a hand on her head.

"Whoever told you about that should have warned you to never try that with someone with such strong abilities as mine." His voice sounded amused and... something else. She couldn't tell. His hand vanished from her head. "This once I helped you out." He said in a low voice. "But, try that again... and I will let your mind burn."

Roka managed to look up, staring at him. Then she realized that he still held her and she struggled against his grip only to almost fall when he finally let go. Stumbling backwards a few steps she realized how her mind was slowly adding sense to what she had seen moments before. Seen and heard and felt.

"So much..." she mumbled, sinking down into a sitting position. "So much blood." She held her head in her hands. "So many screams..."

Steps came closer. The Master crouched down in front of her. "What have you expected?" He sounded amused. "Flowers and rainbows? I'm surprised you actually  _saw_  something."

Slowly she let her hands sink and shook her head. "Vague impressions, random images and sounds..." And feelings. Feelings of... pain, anger... loneliness. It made her shiver. A sudden wave of unbearable sadness overcame her and she put her head onto her knees, not sure if it even was her own emotion.

"Mhmm... not surprising. You're as psychic as a slice of bread." The Master chuckled and got up.

Roka glanced up and when she saw him standing with his back to her, she quickly wiped the few tears away, before he turned around again. She couldn't keep her brain from working... from slowly putting meaning to the images and sounds.

"Unpleasant, eh?" he asked when she turned white as a bed sheet.

"I... feel sick. Never... seen so much..."

"Yeah... how could you." Suddenly his voice was free from all sarcasm. He crouched down again, staring at her. "Look at them closely, you fearless thing." He held his hands up, palms towards her. "These are drenched in blood. They have taken countless lives... and I don't regret a single one."

Roka looked up to him, stared into his eyes she couldn't see clearly. If only she could. Then she looked at his hands, and again back to him... and smiled. "I know."

"And still you smile... and still there is no fear in your eyes." He bent down to her. "There is no being in this universe less deserving of a smile than I... I am death, can't you see?"

"I do," she said quietly. "Which means you cannot harm me... for I am nothing more than a ghost."

She put her hands against his, not for a moment looking away. He stared at them for seconds, then clasping them, pulling her towards him, glaring into her blinded eyes. "One day I will claim your soul then, little ghost. After all you yourself called me grim reaper."

She didn't move, didn't blink. Her heart was racing. "If you are... then you would deserve to be smiled at," she almost whispered. "Because it would make you the loneliest creature in existence."

Another few seconds passed. Then the Master abruptly got up and started to laugh loudly. "Do you ever listen to yourself?"

Roka grinned. "I try to avoid it."

 


	11. Ghosts of yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They find a peculiar treasure and Roka wants to find out how much of her past the Master has seen.

Roka suddenly sprang up, approaching the Master.

"What...?" he asked confused.

But she was actually more interested in what was  _behind_  him. There stood a small building on top of that metal platform and she had to stretch to see up to it. Probably a control room. And in there...

"Look, something's blinking in there." She pointed up.

"Weren't you feeling sick a moment ago...?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, still do a bit... but..." There had to be a way to get up there.

"You were in my mind..."

"Uhm... okay, okay... sorry about that..." She looked down.

"That's not the point," he answered, sounding perplex. "Aren't you... I don't know... traumatized or something?"

"Huh?" Roka looked up again. "Should I?" She jumped up a bit, but was unable to grab the platform. "Ah, dammit! Could you give me a leg-up?"

The Master stared at her for a few seconds, then shook his head and helped her, before climbing up himself, following a few steps behind. "Whatever it is, it's mine."

"Hey,  _I_  found it!" The door was blocked, but the window was big enough to climb inside. It was horribly dark in there though, making her hesitate for a moment.

"What's wrong?" came an amused question. "Afraid there could be a monster inside?"

Roka froze and turned around. Until now she had completely forgotten that he has had time enough to scramble around in her own memories. "Please, don't tell me, you saw  _that_!" she groaned.

But his overly amused grin was answer enough. "You, hiding under your bed, because you thought there was a monster in the closet?"

Crossing her arms she turned around, staring into the darkness. "To my defense... I was five!" And mumbling she added, "And there really  _was_  one inside..." She grabbed the window frame and swung herself into the dark room. "It was striped and had some nasty teeth." There it was.

"Whatever you find in there... it's still mine. Just so you know."

"Come on, let me have some loot."

"Loot?" What do you think...."

"Ohhhhhh!" Roka burst out and laughed. "Cool!" She came back to the window, holding up a gray blocky device. "Oh my... I haven't seen one in ages. The light must have reflected on the screen. If only I had batteries..."

"Err... I have. Come out there."  
  
The Master stared curiously at her and at the device in her hands, while she climbed out of the window again. Then he pulled her towards him, casually opening the jacket she was still wearing and reaching inside one of its inner pockets, suddenly holding various kinds of batteries in his hand.  
  
"Time Lord pockets." He winked. "What do you need them for?"

"Ah... just feeling a bit nostalgic." She giggled, took the ones she needed and booted up the Game Boy. It was the earliest model. "Aaaaaw... too bad. Can't see it clearly enough. Stupid eyes..."

The Master took it out of her hands and examined it. "What a primitive thing... Is that a game?"

Roka nodded. "Don't think you would like it much though. Those were tough back then."

"Pfff... I can beat it!" He frantically pressed the buttons, tongue between his teeth. "Ha! That's not too hard."

"Sure... not in the first few levels." She giggled.

Then suddenly a grumble resounded. The Master looked up, then to Roka... and grinned.

"Hey, I haven't eaten something since morning!" she defended herself. "I wonder if there is some food down here..."

The Master grabbed the jacket once more and Roka gave him a mean look that went completely ignored. He reached inside one of the other pockets, pulling out some bags of beef jerky, but kept them all, ripped one open and chewed on a slice while devoting his attention back to the game. Roka stared at him.

"Want some?" he asked, grinning again. "Beg for it."

"Pah... keep it." But another growl resounded from her stomach. The Master walked past her with a chuckle and put one of the bags into her hands, before sitting down on the metal floor, feet dangling from the platform, his attention still occupied by the game. Roka moved away a bit further and sat down against a metal post, hastily starting to eat before he could change his mind.

"Why do you even carry that around?" she asked amused.

"You never know. Saved my life once." But he didn't say more. He never talked about anything from his life or his past. 

A few minutes went by. Roka was unsure if she should ask or not, but in the end she couldn't hold back her curiosity. "What else have you seen in my head?"

At first it seemed as if the Master just ignored her question. He lay down on his back, holding the Game Boy up, so his flashlight could illuminate the screen.

"Why did you sleep in the attic?" he asked suddenly.

"None of your business."

The Master laughed. "How about... you answer all my questions and I tell you, what I've seen?"

Roka grumbled something and spent some time chewing on the beef jerky, before finally answering.

"A ghost has to haunt a proper place, doesn't it? What else...?"

"That's no answer." His voice sounded very amused. He obviously enjoyed toying with her like that.

She sighed. "Fine... it's boring though, just so you know." She stuck out her tongue, but he was too occupied with the game to even notice. "When my younger brother was born my parents gave him my room. Cause... they couldn't remember it already belonged to someone." Thinking back to those days made her smile though. It actually had been nice up there, although a bit creepy sometimes. "Hm... for the first eight years or so I really believed I was a ghost. It seemed fitting to use the attic."

"See?  _That's_  an answer." He grinned.

"What does it even bother you?" she asked annoyed. "Think you can use that against me somehow? Good luck."

"Heh, have heard  _that_  phrase often enough to know it's not true. And yes, I do. The fun part about it... you're too curious to stop asking, right?"

Roka crossed her arms and stayed silent for a while. But he was right. There was no way she could resist learning about what he had seen. "Fine... ask your dumb questions," she grumbled.

"Academy? University? How do humans call that?" he promptly asked. "There were mostly impressions of lecture halls."

"Hmmm." This really wasn't a thing he could use against her in any way. "No one ever cared if I attended school or not... So I skipped most of it and snuck into the nearby university. Didn't understand much the first few years and had to learned the rest on my own. Bless the local library..." She chuckled. "It was fun though. I learned some Quantum physics, normal physics, some biology... Everything regarding Chemistry is awful. But the computer science classes were nice. I also tried psychology... but that was boring."

"Nah, it's useful. If you know about that you can let your enemies destroy themselves," he said happily.

"That... wasn't why I went there," she protested. "Not everyone wants to use everything for mere destruction."

A chuckle came from the Master. "You think I'm such a bad person, right? Because I do whatever I want, just because I can." And when she didn't react to that he continued, "But you're not much better. I just wonder... why did you stop?"

Slowly she looked up and towards him. "With what?"

"With strangling the life out of him."

Roka froze.

"Those small children hands of yours... around that much much tinier neck." He carefully and slowly put his words together, sounding as if enjoying every single one of them. "Slowly squeezing the breath out of your brother's small lungs. Because for him they completely forgot about you. That day they brought him home you became a ghost in your own house for good. And you wanted to make him suffer fo..."

"Shut up!" Roka shouted, shivering. "Just... stop it."

But all she got was a very mean and satisfied laugh. "He was just a few weeks old... what a thing to do. And that only for your own good."

"I... didn't  _do_  it!"

"Coward. No one would have ever caught you."

"No..." She took a few slow, deep breaths before continuing. "It wasn't  _his_  fault. And yes, no one would have ever known who... " She shook her head and lay it on her knees, being silent for a while. "Seen anything else?" Suddenly she felt tired. Or rather... this tiredness had spread inside her since she had sat down. But it got stronger the longer she didn't move.

"Mhm... just one thing. Doesn't make much sense to me though." The Master was still lying on his back with the Game Boy in his hands. "A view from atop some cliffs, looking over the sea as if waiting for something. Was quite the strong image. Important."

"Oh," made Roka, sinking down at the post, putting an arm behind her head and staring up into the darkness.

"So? What were you waiting for?"

The tiredness almost overwhelmed her. "Doubt," she mumbled. "Fear..."

"Huh?"

"That was the day I met the Doctor. The day... Seems you can't see  _that_  deep after all."

"With more time... Still, what was that about?"

She laughed tiredly. "I won't tell you."

And surprisingly he didn't ask anymore. Roka stayed silent herself, remembering that day, while the sounds of moaning metal and pushed buttons got fainter. Images popped into her mind, flashes of memories she had wanted to forget. And those other images that weren't her own. For a while she tried to bring them back, to look at them more closely. There had been so much darkness, but even more... she looked at the Master. What could turn a man into something like him? One minute a merciless murderer, the other innocently enjoying a simple thing like that game. One moment happily laughing, the next raging in chaos. And such a deep burning sadness... more pain than a  _human_  heart could ever endure... and that in just a single fracture of his mind.

The thought slipped away, as did the sounds. Everything just slowly drowned in that strange tiredness.

Roka stood on top of the cliffs. Finally she had reached the place she had seen from below. Such a nice view over the sea. So high above the waves. Without haste she took off the backpack, leaning it against a tree. Then, slowly, she stepped out onto the natural plateau. There was more than enough space to walk, but still she spread her arms to keep the balance until reaching the end.

Carefully she sat down there, letting her feet dangle above the gaping depths below. And waited. Waited for the fear that used to keep her moving. For some doubt about what she was about to do. But she hadn't felt much since the day she had lost  _her_... the day she had... It seemed like hours passed, but neither of those feelings appeared inside her. Her eyes wandered to her hands, staring at them for a while. It felt wrong that they looked so clean now, when only...

It had gotten darker. The sun set above the sea, leaving a trace of burning fire on the waves. Roka stood up and stretched. There was no point in waiting any longer. Everything was so calm. So cold. She looked down once more, moving her foot...

A soft breeze came up, making her freeze in place. The wind... no it wasn't wind, it was a sensation as of fingers that carefully ran through her hair, gently playing with them. She stood still, let it happen, while the scene slowly faded and she returned to the waking world, not opening her eyes though, and only when she finally moved slightly after some time the sensation vanished abruptly.

For another while she lay still before noticing that the ground was hard and uncomfortable. Only her head leaned against something warm and she didn't want to move. The memory of where sleep had taken her away returned slowly and she opened her eyes to see nothing else but the red cloth of a shirt in front of her. Where did that come from?

Then a sudden realization hit her and within a second she was wide awake and sat up, crawling backwards at least a few meters, away from the Master on whose site she had apparently curled up during her sleep. And who was now chuckling at her sudden reaction, his eyes and hands still glued to that Game Boy.

Roka put her arms around her knees and looked away. "... you could have woken me."

"Too busy," was the only answer she got. But not even a minute later he suddenly shot into a sitting position, a wide grin on his face. "Ha! See? I beat it!" And he held the Game Boy in front of her face.

Roka could barely see something blurry when the screen suddenly faded. Now it was on her to smirk. "It went off."

The Master took it back and stared at it. "Come on! I just beat it! Stupid batteries!" He shot up and threw the thing as hard as he could into the darkness where it crashed into a pile of stuff somewhere in the distance.

"Welcome to the  _true_  horrors of my childhood." Roka had to laugh, but then something came to her mind. "Wait... that were either the worst batteries ever, or... how long have I slept?" Confused she blinked a few times. For her it hadn't felt like more than a few minutes.

"No idea..." He sounded disappointed and still stared towards where he had thrown the game. "Some hours." Shrugging his shoulders he turned around, staring down to her. "That stupid action of yours completely drained your energy." He sighed. "I can't even erase it... not without damaging your own memory at least."

"Guess it won't kill me." Roka shrugged. "Don't worry, I haven't seen anything that would make any sense to me."

"Doesn't matter..." He tilted his head and put a finger on his chin. "I just wonder if that will affect your mind. Although for now it doesn't seem so..." For a moment he observed her like a particularly interesting test subject. "Whatever... let's get that stuff back upstairs."

 


	12. A moment of weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a weird night of storms and odd occurrences.

The crate wasn't too big and thankfully not too heavy, but the way up still seemed to be much longer than it had been down.

When they reached the office again it had already gotten pitch black outside. The clock showed past 3 am, Roka noted surprised while sitting down the crate on the floor. "Aaaw, man, I don't feel the slightest tired anymore though..."

"Then make yourself useful and help me testing the things." The Master dropped his own crate and kneeled in front of it. "And  _no_  self experiments!"

"How am I supposed to..."

"Not so smart after all, eh?" He laughed. "I'll check them, see what they are and then you test whether they still work."

"Fine..." Roka pouted. "But just so you know... if my eyes weren't damaged, thanks to you by the way, I  _could_  tell what they do."

"I'm  _not_  feeling sorry about that." He grinned and picked out some random devices.  
  
Most of the stuff was hopelessly broken, others completely useless, but some things actually did still function quite well and over time a very peculiar collection came together. Roka made a list in her head of all things that had potential to be crafted into something useful.

A bright flash illuminated the surrounding for a moment, followed by a roaring thunder. Eventually rain started to hammer against the windows, its shadows painting eerie streaks onto the walls. The storm got worse by the minute and sometimes the lights flickered. One particularly nasty lightning bolt seemed to fry something nearby, cause suddenly most of the lamps went off. All that stayed were two dim bulbs in the front part of the office.

"Spooky." Roka giggled, but got no response.

In the spare light it got hard to test the scavenged material. Roka flew a tiny drone through the room when she heard the Master cursing all of a sudden. He had been unusually quiet the whole time, but now he let out some things that would even make a Jurtarik blush. He got up and scrambled around in one of the cupboards, before sitting down again, holding a small first aid kit.

"God damn surgery bugs," he mumbled. "At least they are sterile..."

Roka devoted her attention back to the drone, thinking about how she could attach a camera to it to spy around, maybe even help her see again. Finally she landed it next to the crate and saw the Master still struggling with a bandage. His left hand was bleeding pretty badly and... shaking. He stared at it for a while, then leaned back against the wall. "Whatever. It'll stop on its own."

"Don't tell me you can't see your own blood," Roka teased him.

"Nah... had worse injuries already..."

She looked at him for a while, before finally getting up and kneeled next to him. "Let me..."

"Get away!" the Master pulled the bleeding hand out of her reach. "And don't dare to touch me!"

"I don't even have to see it clearly to know it needs tending."

"And I said, get away!" He angrily stared at her.

She took the first aid kit and started to get out another bandage, but The Master snatched it out of her hands.

"Now you're acting childish." Roka laughed and when he still didn't react, she sighed frustrated. "Gimme your god damn hand already. I don't bite."

"You're just making it worse!" He complained, finally giving in with a growl. "That's humiliating..." he mumbled, leaning his head back, looking down to her. "And actually... the shaking is  _your_  fault."

"Huh? I haven't done..."

"Getting you out of my head also drained  _me_  pretty badly."

"How so?" she asked curiously.

A dry laugh came out of him. "Because  _I_  am a really skilled psychics and you... are basically burned toast. Wouldn't have taken your mind more than a few minutes to get completely flooded and then literally burned up. It's exhausting to get someone out of that... lot more than I thought."

Surprised she raised her head. "Then why did you do it?"

"Hmm... no idea... Just wanted you out of there."

It still seemed odd, but Roka decided to pay not too much attention to it. "There, all done."

He glanced at the bandage, eyes narrowed. "That's... not bad. Can still move my fingers even." His head sank against the wall behind. "You shouldn't be nice to me. I won't repay it."

"Never expected that." Roka chuckled. "It's just human to help." She wanted to get up, but the Master grabbed her wrist.

"I mean it..." he mumbled. "Don't be nice. Don't help... don't... ugh, whatever." He let go of her again, rolling his eyes.

"Why?" That attitude annoyed her. "Are you so evil that everyone would just combust if they are nice?"

"Exactly." A grin spread on his face and he sat up straight. "Heh, I just got an idea... I'll let you and the Doctor watch from space while earth burns, how about that? And then I watch his stupid face turn white when I kill you in front of him." He poked her head. "How does that sound to you?"

"Like the most idiotic thing I heard today." She sighed and shook her head. "Whatever..."

"I just told you how you will die." He leaned towards her. "And you say 'whatever'?" She turned her head away, but he followed her. "I poison you and you laugh. You get blinded and it doesn't even seem to bother you." The Master grabbed her collar almost carefully and pulled her close. "Is there nothing inside you?" he wondered, cocking his head. "Are you just a hollow?"

"Would something change if I roll up in a corner and cry?" Roka asked quietly.

"Of course not."

"Then..." She looked up, a frown on her face, "...why should I do so? Just to amuse you? Sorry, but I won't be  _that_ nice." And when he still didn't let go of her, she lowered her eyes again, muttering barely audible, "But yes. I am nothing but an empty shell. I don't even exist, so why should anything bother me?"

"Hm... I see..." After a second he abruptly let go of her and started to laugh. "You're just as broken as I am."

She sat up again. "Don't compare me with you," she spit out. "I'm nothing alike."

"Right... You're just a pathetic shrimp." A chuckle came from him and again he leaned down a bit, poking her chest. "So wretched and riven by your loneliness that you curl up on the first thing you see, even if it would normally kill you for that." His grin was wide and nasty.

"And you are disgusting," Roka mumbled, while throwing a venomous look at him, but then smiled cattish. "You let me. Doesn't that make you even more pathetic?"

He was up on his feet faster than she could react and before she even knew what was happening the Master already had Roka in a headlock. "Don't think you can be so cheeky all of a sudden." The grip got even tighter

"Ow, you're hurting me!" Roka gasped.

"That's the purpose, you idiot! I've been way too friendly to you. Let you far too deep into my head..."

Then his grip slowly weakened as if he couldn't hold it up any longer and a moment later he abruptly let go of her. "Whatever... not in the mood to kill you," he mumbled, swayed, then cursed.

Roka reacted without thinking and carefully pushed him a bit backwards against the wall. "You're drained more than just  _pretty badly,_ " she stated surprised while seemingly thousand thoughts shot through her mind, one hunting the other. They weren't pleasant ones.

The Master gave a low laugh from him. "I know what goes through your mind... You should do it.  _I_  would."

She should. There probably never would be an opportunity as good as this, she realized. Right now it would be so easy to get rid of him. Roka glanced up. Was that a smile or a grim smirk? She couldn't tell with her broken eyes. Her gaze wandered to his belt, where the gun was. They both knew she was capable of pulling the trigger.  
  
She hesitated. A tiny bit too long... and a tiny bit too consciously.

The Master leaned fully against the wall and suddenly put his arms around Roka, holding her hands on her back, so tight she couldn't move anymore. "Good girl. You have the right mind. But you're too slow."

"Let go of me!" She protested, but he just laughed.

"And give you a chance to kill me? I'm not as fearless when it comes to that as you are." Grinning he looked down to her, his voice, contrary to his words, full of sarcasm.

Roka tried to free herself, but even weakened the Master was far stronger and she had to give up pretty quickly. She felt his hearts beating against her own chest. What a strange feeling, it shot through her head. This doubled rhythm. They beat so fast... he wasn't lying. And he must be horribly weakened, so much that his usually inhuman reaction might not be fast enough to stop her from shooting him... if she really intended to do so.

"Just so you know," he said. "You won't find the keys to the Doctor's prison. I made sure of that. And I also instructed the guards very clearly."

"I've seen it," Roka said quietly. "Motion sensors everywhere. They get my position transmitted directly onto their goggles, right?" All she got was another chuckle as answer. "Clever. I can't hide from tech. Means I'd have to checkmate them. And the door is thick and heavy... no chance without the keys." She looked up to him and smiled viciously. "But with all that alien tech in here I surely could build a bomb."

"You're dangerous... I like that." He laughed.

"Still... let go of me." Roka tried again to get free, only to be forced to give up shortly after. "You can't stand there like that forever." She sighed frustrated, dropping her head against his chest.

It was warm and there was life in it, beating fast... so fast. It could stop, go silent. If she had the opportunity. Something inside her tightened painfully at that thought. In the end life was such a fragile thing. They both knew it.

And suddenly it made sense. That was what confused him so much all the time. How could someone like him understand how she could care so less about being alive? And now he really was convinced to die if he let go for even a second, she realized. And rightly so. Barely a week ago she had already almost shot him once, although she couldn't get back into that person she had been that day. Not while feeling the heartbeat of another living being. How in the world could she... How had she ever been able to pull that trigger?

"I won't do anything," she mumbled scarcely audible. "...never again."  
  
If there had been bullets in that gun that day... A sudden cold shiver ran down her spine. She felt his heart rate slowing down a bit, the grip got weaker, but only slightly. Then he laughed and Roka looked up.

"What a stupid thing you are!" He grinned down to her. "I would just come back anyway. Remember... the Master always has a backup plan."

"Then let go!" she moaned.

"It's unpleasant though. And things can go  _very_  wrong."

"I don't  _want_  to kill you!" she exclaimed desperately. "No idea why I pulled that damn trigger!" Another shiver ran through her by the mere thought of it. Images flashed through her mind, of uncontrolled rage, red hands, empty eyes staring at her... Her own heart was suddenly acting strange. Racing, then skipping beats, then racing again.

Roka heard him laugh softly. "Finally you're scared." His grip got lighter, but he didn't let go. She put her head down again, now completely shivering. "And for all the wrong reasons at that." He chuckled. "I don't think I've ever met such a silly human."

Then he let go of her, in the same movement pulling out the gun with one hand, dropping the magazine to the floor, before throwing the empty gun away. "Should get something better than that anyway... There, I let go. You can go away now."

She didn't move, just mumbling, "I never wanted to hurt anyone."

"Not even me?" He put a hand under her chin, making her look up. "If so, you're the biggest idiot in the universe." A grin spread on his face. "Well, look at that. Never thought I would ever see some real fear in those."

He observed her eyes and Roka, still shivering, blinked a few times. Confused. Her sight got clear within seconds, then blurred again, only to get back to normal for good.

"Ah, that fixed it." The Master chuckled, but got serious fast again. "Don't look at me, I'm a pathetic mess right now."

He put a hand above her eyes for a moment, while leaning back at the wall. Roka didn't react, just trembling uncontrollably, wondering what in the world was going on. What fixed her sight? And why... She felt arms around her again, holding her firm, but not forcefully this time. Carefully she opened her eyes and peered up to see him staring at the ceiling with a blank expression.

It was warm.

I should move away, she thought, but instead just dropped her head back down and listened. Listened to that, now calm, strange alien heartbeat until she stopped shivering. And for who knows how much longer.

Eventually the Master pushed her back, as if suddenly realizing what he was doing, just saying harshly, "Be of use for once and make some tea," while fixating a point above her. Roka moved without a word.

Few minutes later she came back, balancing two big cups on plates. The Master sat on the floor again, staring at the ceiling as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. Wordless she held one of the cups out to him.

"Huh, that's not tea." He stared at it.

Roka sat down behind one of the crates as if to look through them. But ultimately she just wanted to have as much distance as inconspicuously possible. She still was very, very confused and had no idea what to make of everything. And what had triggered her eyes back to normal? The Master hadn't seemed surprised about it. But why in the world had he...

"You've got to be kidding me." She heard him exclaiming. "Hot chocolate? That's for children!"

Chuckling she looked up from the crate. "Since you're acting like one, I deemed it fitting." She stuck out her tongue. "Not that you would deserve my special recipe... But there is nothing better for stormy nights."

Amused she saw him sniffing at the cup, before taking a sip. His eyes widened. "Oof... damn, you found the Whiskey..."

Roka took a sip herself, barely containing a laugh, but not saying anything, just fishing out some of the tiny marshmallows.

But actually she didn't really feel like laughing. Her mind was still racing, only slowly coming to a rest. She didn't want to think. The hot chocolate helped a bit, it always did. But not enough to dispel the cold that had settled into her bones.  
  
Another lightning literally shook the ground and the two remaining lights flickered off, leaving everything in utter darkness. Roka barely noticed it.

"Great..." came an annoyed murmuring.

"Hmm...?" She looked up, now becoming aware of the missing light and fumbled after a torch she knew was lying nearby. A thought struck her, making her grin. That could be the exact right thing to distract her. Everything would do right now, if only she wouldn't have to think. Blocking off reality... after all she was very skilled in doing that.  
  
"Actually... That's quite perfect. Since we're sitting around here with pouring rain, rolling thunder, all lights out and hot choco..."

"Err... I'm not sure I want to know where this is going..."

She flicked the flashlight on, holding it under her chin. "Do you know any good ghost stories?"

 


	13. It's just a game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All games must end one day. But what comes after?

The next two days went by in a blur. The Master behaved normal again - at least his kind of normal - and was busy most of the time, putting something together at his desk that was now littered with all sorts of parts and screws and what not. Roka tried to get a glimpse of what it was, but he shooed her away each time she came too close. So she spent the time augmenting the tiny drone with some extras. There she had the opportunity to sniff around. In those two crates were enough things that could finally give her some advantage.

But it was hard to think. Roka had trouble concentrating, cause she was so tired. Each time she tried to get some sleep she jolted awake shortly after with this strange feeling one gets after a nightmare they can't remember anymore. So she stayed awake as long as she could, disassembling devices, sorting out fitting parts and reassemble them into something useful. The Master ignored her most of the time and she exploited this tiny little bit of freedom.

And she repeated the words the Doctor had said to her over and over in her head: "Whatever he does. It's just a game. He tries to break you." Whatever this had been a few days ago, it only was part of the game. She had to be even more careful than ever before.

"What the hell are you doing  _now_?" A halfway wondering, halfway amused tone came from directly in front of her and she looked up.

Instinct. Right now she actually couldn't see anything because of the blindfold. Well... she  _could_  see though.

"I have no idea what triggered my sight back to normal", she explained. "So in case it ever breaks again... I augmented this drone here with a psychic sensor, amplified the signal so even my weak abilities are enough and..." There was a tug at the blindfold and it got lifted. Roka pinched her eyes and flinched. "... can't separate the drone signal from that of my visual cortex though. Give that back."

"Wait... you see with that thing?" The Master observed the drone that was flying above Roka's head. "How does it move? You have no controller..."

She grinned widely, tapping against a tiny triangular device on her ear. "I intercept the signals from my brain to my eye muscles. There is only one drone though, so it's just 2D."

"You build an actual eye..." He said slowly, looking at the drone; very interested and a bit surprised.

"Uhm, yeah somehow. I should call it... Psye."

His face twisted. "Ugh, pleeease, no puns!"

Roka giggled and of course didn't tell him the actual use of that thing. Extending it's reach and the signal's strength would provide her with a nice way to spy around.

"Get up." He threw the blindfold onto her head and she put it back on. "Really? Well... as long as you don't run into me..."

"Down again?" It was a bit harder to walk and at the same time control the Psye. She decided to actually call it that.

"No. Just outside. Taking a walk."

Roka tilted her head. "What do you need me for then?" And since when did he...

The Master laughed. "You seriously think I let you alone with alien tech ever again after you build a psychic replica of an eye?" He snipped at the drone, but Roka evaded fast enough.

It was the first time since she had arrived here with the Doctor that Roka left the building. It felt strange, but controlling the drone kept her mind busy at least. She didn't want to think. And she was tired.

To her luck both, wind and rain, had settled. Otherwise her Psye would have been damaged very quickly. A red leaf sailed down. She had no idea in which time they were and also not in which season. But more leaves revealed that it had to be autumn.

The Master snatched one of the leaves and held something against it that, at first glance, looked like a sonic screwdriver. She flew the drone closer and saw that it emitted a laser which burned a tiny hole through the leave.

A satisfied smile spread on the Master's face. "Precise... perfect." Then the laser beam got wider and the whole leave combusted into a flame. He turned his head to Roka, holding the device with a grin in front of her face. "Isomorphic controls. Meaning, only  _I_  can use it."

She giggled. "I feel honored that you deem me  _that_  dangerous." Somehow she really did, although she probably shouldn't.

Suddenly the smile vanished from the Master's face and he fully turned around to Roka.

"You know... this game really was fun." He looked down to her, ignoring the drone. "But it's time to end this. I'm sick of this place and especially of this planet." He flicked her forehead. "You will tell me where the TARDIS is."

"Certainly not." She frowned at him, but a very mean grin sat already on his lips.

"Destroy that stupid drone." He said in a cold, commanding voice.

And something strange happened to Roka. Her mind went blank and she felt a sudden urge to... she grabbed the Psye out of the air, smashed it to the ground and crushed it under her shoe, before wincing from the short sharp pain that went through her head when the signal got disrupted.

"Tch, don't tell me you haven't build in security measurements..."

She took down the blindfold and stared at the broken drone with confusion. Why had she done that? But then she remembered the Master's mind control abilities and threw a frown at him. "It was just a prototype." And looking down again she sighed. "What a shame. I had some cool ideas for it."

The Master still looked down to her, a finger at his chin. "Hm... disappointing... Somehow I almost expected you to resist." But then he grinned nastily. "Better for me, eh?" And with the same commanding tone as before he continued, "Go to where the TARDIS is hidden and stand in front of it."

Again her mind went blank. The noises around her vanished and there was only one thought left. The TARDIS. She  _had_  to go there. It had been so long since she had been in it. So long. She wanted to be back. Surrounded by the humming of the machines that had given her headaches for the first few weeks, but was now as much part of her life as breathing.

She stopped and faced the air in front of her. There it stood, hidden from sight. Just a second...

"Just a second out of synch, eh?"

The Master's chuckle brought Roka back and she shook her head to shake off the strange dizziness. And then she realized what she had done. Next to her the Master pointed the Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver into the air and a moment later the blue box appeared.

"Finally!" He patted her head like a dog's and stuck out his tongue. "Good human. And now give me your key."

It was no use, she couldn't resist. The urge to do what he had commanded was too strong and she reached inside a hidden pocket at her belt to pull out a small key that she dropped into the Master's open hand.

It hurt. It stung. It felt as if every organ in her body contracted, when he opened the door, only to push her inside, following closely. And still... there was a question, burning in her head.

"Why?" She asked quietly while the Master started the engines. The TARDIS sprang to life. "You could have ordered me all that time... why only now?"

"Oh... it was fun!" A satisfied grin sat on his face. He ran around everywhere, checking the control room. "Ah, what a mess. That guy just can't keep things in order." Then he came back, took the blindfold, Roka still held, and tied her hands onto her back with it. "I actually never planned to stay that long... this place stinks. But you were such a fun distraction. Now though...!" He ran back to the console and pushed some buttons, only to chuckle.

"But... what about that whale?" Roka asked, but somehow she had a hunch what the answer would be. It all made sense now.

It's just a game.

"Just another remnant from the scavengers. I never intended to free it myself. But it was interesting to see what you would come up with." He turned around and smiled wickedly at her. "And since you had a rather brilliant idea, I have to admit... I now have not only the TARDIS, but also a nice way to destroy this garbage dump of a planet.  _That_  hadn't even been included into my plans before."

It's just a game.

The words kept repeating in her head. Over and over. He had tricked her. Exploited her urge to help. All those days... all the work... absolutely everything. Nothing more but a precisely planned betrayal.

Roka stared at him and really wished she hadn't hesitated and instead just killed him a few days ago. How could she have been so stupid? What she had felt in his mind had shook her, had made her believe that there might be more to him. And he had even helped her. But thinking back this probably also had been part of the plan. Never would he have put himself into a weak position just to save her mind from burning up.

Lies... nothing more but lies. She felt hatred burning inside her, hot and cold at the same time.

"Good. Be angry." He stepped closer, only a finger-width away from her and grabbed her chin to make her look up. "Hate me with all you have, silly little human."

And for a second she did. It burned inside her chest and she wanted to scream, to cry. But she swallowed it all. This was a victory she wouldn't grant him. Instead she just stared at him with all the hate she could put into her gaze, staring into those nasty hazel eyes that still carried a longing for the stars within them. To burn them all...

It's all just a game.

He put the newly build laser device onto her chest.

"Any last words?" He let go of her, but didn't step away. "Oh don't look at me like that. You were never needed for anything else than my personal amusement. And now I throw you away like an old broken toy." And when Roka still didn't respond he just kept talking. "If it comforts you, I really had some fun. That doesn't happen too often, especially not with humans. And your technical skills  _are_  rather impressive..." His head tilted as if he was thinking about something. "Whatever... I'll have enough time to talk to myself soon again." He chuckled. "Last words? Last wish?"

"Yeah one", she still stared at him, into those old eyes. And she hated herself for still being fascinated by them. "Do me the favor and crumble to dust."

A laugh burst out of him, short and dry and his next words were accompanied by a pained smile. "I'll be long gone insane before that happens."

Those words moved something inside her, and suddenly all hate and all anger subsided. No, not everything had been a lie, not everything part of the game. The things she had seen and felt in his mind... what she had seen and could still see in his eyes. He truly was a miserable creature. A lonely wanderer through time, haunted and torn by whatever had made him what he was today.

And the sudden thought struck her mind that probably no one would ever smile at him again.

So she did. One last time. Only short, but with all she had.

The laser pointing towards her chest, the Master not saying a word, time slowed down and Roka closed her eyes once more. Waiting.

Two fingers touched her throat and she heard a voice close to her ear. So low, it was almost a whisper. "You can smile all you want, but your pulse doesn't lie." Indeed, it was racing, although she still, consciously, couldn't feel any fear. "It's fascinating, isn't it? Feeling the heartbeat of another living being..."

The same words she had thought herself a few days ago. Her gaze met his and a smile twitched in the corner of her mouth. "It is."

For a second they just stared at each other, then the Master straightened himself again, ruffling through Roka's hair while stepping away. The only thing he burned with his laser was the blindfold that tied her hands together.

"I'll restrict your access to a few selected rooms. And also mark you as an intruder so you can't touch the controls."

She stared at her now free hands, then up. She didn't understand anything at all anymore.

"What?" He looked over to her. "Come on, why should I kill you? I'm still having fun."

There was no reason for her to still be alive. None at all. All she could mean to him was trouble. But then why...? It just made no sense.

The Master turned back to the control panel. "I guess that's all. You can move freely between those rooms. The TARDIS locks the rest." He pointed at the screen.

Roka stepped closer to take a look. Then she tried to touch one of the buttons and got an electric shock so strong she almost fainted. A mean laugh resounded next to her and she didn't try it ever again.


	14. A decision to make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If all things go down and everything ceases to make sense, one must make a decision.

"Get out of here!" Roka moaned and tried to push the Master through the door. He didn't budge the slightest though and just laughed at her.

"I'll just take a quick scan. Knowing you there could be all sorts of weapons in here..."

She gave up and crossed her arms while he moved around with a small box in his hand. It didn't make any noises, so whatever it was programmed to find, it wasn't in here.

"Uhm... That's a Shraggar heart... you  _do_  know they are highly radioactive, right?"

"Yeah... and that hook in it prevents it from leaking out," she answered peevish. "Now get out. I don't want you in..."

"Where in the universe do they sell Dalek plushies?" The Master grabbed the thing from one of the pillows and turned it all around.

"Nowhere!" Roka snapped at him and snatched the Dalek out of his hands. "I made it..." she added mumbling.

"You... made a plush of one of the most dangerous... alright... I won't ask." He raised his hands for a moment and grinned, turned around and took a look at the book shelves on the wall. "Hm... Lovecraft... Crefonic poetry... Poe..." He took out one tome and opened it.

Roka snatched it away, throwing a very mean glance at him. "I can't stop you from sniffing around in the TARDIS... But. Get. Out. Of. My. Room!" She poked a finger at his chest with every word. His grin got only wider though.

"Never thought it would be so easy to upset you." But with that he finally left, giggling to himself like a dumb teenager.

Roka slammed the door shut and stared angrily at it for another few seconds, before she slowly relaxed again. Turning around she soaked in the atmosphere. It felt like an eternity since she had been in here. The walls were plastered with "The round things" as the Doctor used to call them. They bathed everything in a warm, orange glow. The room itself was just large enough for a comfy bed, a desk with a PC and some shelves that were filled with books and souvenirs from adventures.

With a loud sigh she dropped onto the bed, took her shoes off and buried herself under every blanket she could reach. The familiar smell and the feeling of being home. How much she had missed it. Not even the fact that the Master was in the TARDIS and the Doctor still imprisoned in the old facility could change this short moment of peace. A wave of tiredness overcame her and she didn't resist it.

Again though Roka snapped awake not long after. The clock revealed that it hadn't even been an hour, but it was impossible to fall asleep again. Not with this strange threatening feeling, that was creeping up her neck. If only she could remember those nightmares. Then she could at least  _do_  something against them.

Instead she went outside to get a coffee. It was strange to move through the TARDIS like this. All doors she hadn't access to just vanished as soon as she came closer and were only visible to her from the corner of the eye. Always out of reach.

Next she found herself in the library, strolling through the shelves, picking out books here and there, only to put them back again shortly after. Her mind refused to focus on anything, so she just sat down next to the swimming pool and let her feet dangle in the cold water while lying on her back.

Nothing made sense anymore.

The Master had everything needed to escape earth. Heck! He could even leave the Doctor in that room and just wait until he starved, or something like that. And why did he keep her, Roka, in here? It was so strange... It hadn't felt like one of his usual empty threats.  _Something_  must have changed his mind. But wasn't it utterly pointless wanting to grasp the logic of a mad man?

Sitting up again, she pulled the feet out of the water. She felt cold enough, this really didn't make it better. When Roka thought about it now... she hadn't felt warm in days.

* * *

Roka lost track of time itself. It could have been weeks or days or probably just a few hours that she had spend in the TARDIS. Sometimes she wandered around in the library, sometimes in the wardrobe, sometimes she sat in her room, staring at the ceiling or trying to read, occasionally to sleep. But each time it was the same. A cold creeping shiver down her spine, the feeling of being watched, of just having escaped... something. And as always she hadn't slept for more than an hour.

More coffee... When she wasn't able to sleep she could at least try staying functioning. What for though? All she could do was wander between the few accessible rooms. And although she had done nearly exactly the same for half of her lifetime, there wasn't any comfort to find in it anymore.

It was so cold. Not only herself, but also her mind.

Silence everywhere. Just disturbed by the humming of the machines. Usually one could hear the Doctor running around somewhere or making noise in the control room. And even when she had been in here on her own it had never been so quiet it seemed.

The Master was also nowhere to be found. Not that she looked out for him, but it was strange to not see him doing nasty things to the TARDIS. Maybe he wasn't even inside anymore. Or somewhere deep into the corridors of the machine.

Then a foggy thought crept into her mind. She was marked as an intruder, not as a prisoner. The TARDIS kept her from touching anything important... but she wouldn't stop Roka from just stepping outside.

So she did. There was no use to stay. Returning to the facility also wasn't an option since it was armed like a military station. But where else to go? And no! She couldn't leave the Doctor there! But on the other hand she also wasn't able to do  _anything_  at all. And maybe he had already found a way out on his own. Digging a tunnel with a spoon or something like that. It would be a thing he would do and the thought made Roka smile a bit. For a moment she actually expected to see the ground moving and a dirty Doctor face poking out, grinning widely.

But nothing happened.

The weather wasn't too cold, but also not very warm. Her jacket kept her from feeling the wind, but it didn't banish the bleakness within herself. Leafs blew past in all colors of autumn, but for once Roka wasn't able to admire them. Instead she just sat down on the jetty nearby and watched the waves. The sun had already set so they were pitch black, as if it wasn't a sea but a big puddle of ink. Sometimes the clouds thinned out and the crescent moon threw an eerie light over the dark water.

Who knows how much time passed that way when something slumped against Roka's back and made her jolt out of the trance she had been in.

"You're still here? I even gave you an hour ahead."

"We humans have something called  _personal space,_ " Roka said slowly. "Guess you never heard of that." She was too tired to be annoyed though. And he prevented the wind from blowing at her at least.

She felt his chuckle at her back. "Oh, I actually really like it. Ignoring it is the fastest and easiest way to unnerve people."

Her mind was so slow. What did he even want here? And what did he mean by... "...an hour ahead?"

"The TARDIS informs about every entering or leaving intruder. Thought it would be fair to give you some time." She felt him shrug.

"Fair?" Roka snorted. "Since when do  _you_  play fair? And where the heck should I go anyway?"

"This planet is big..."

"And by no means would I leave the Doctor all alone with you." She put her head onto the knees and stared at the black waves.

"See? That's why it's always better to stay by yourself." He sounded somewhat amused, but at the same time also serious. How odd, thought Roka, before he continued, "When you're alone you can do whatever you want and just run away afterwards. But as soon as you get attached to someone... even a tiny little bit... everything gets complicated. And all your actions suddenly have consequences. Isn't that idiotic?"

For someone like him this probably was some kind of logic. For someone like herself...

"Guess, that's a problem I'll never encounter again." She smiled.

"Heh, be glad about that." He laughed lowly. "In the end all effort is for nothing anyway. In the end they all just betray you. Remember that... just in case." The Master sounded oddly calm.

"I don't take advices from you..." she mumbled. "Get lost."

"Only wanted to say goodbye... that's what you do, right?" He chuckled to himself.

Roka looked up to the moon. "So, you just let me go?"

Again she felt him shrug. "You can't enter the TARDIS on your own and if you attempt to enter the facility you will get shot on sight. So you're no threat and otherwise I have no business with you."

It got cool at Roka's back again when he stood up, making her shiver for a moment.  
  
"Run, little human. Run as far away as you can get... Just think about yourself for once, it's easier..." His steps receded. "And don't come knocking... I won't open."

With that he left her alone. Roka put her head back down to her knees and continued to stare at the inky waves.

Now it was cold again.

Where should she go? It would be easy to get supplies; the same way as the first time, back when she had left her family. Stealing was no problem when one goes unnoticed. But after that? Just running away? As far away as she could?

The harder part would be to forget about half of her life. Again. And to leave behind the only person she could ever call something like a friend. Even though he kept forgetting her. What would become of the universe without the Doctor, she wondered.

There was nothing she could do for him...

It was cold...

She was tired...

Nothing made sense anymore and she couldn't stop thinking. So much had changed in such a short time. She wasn't the same anymore. The Master had broken her... Or had she been broken all the time without noticing it? I'm just a hollow, she thought. Nothing more. But... She looked to the TARDIS.

For a moment it had been warm...

* * *

It wasn't necessary to knock. The TARDIS showed everyone outside, especially when they were marked.

Roka leaned against the wood like she had done so often in the past. It always gave off a subtle, somewhat calming vibration.

An hour went by.

Two...

She stopped looking at her watch.

The clouds vanished and in the blackened night sky the stars shone bright. Leafs swayed down around her, blown away by the autumn wind. It got freezing cold and eventually a bright stripe appeared at the horizon. A beautiful sunrise. If only she wasn't so tired, the sight would have make her smile.

"Alright, you stubborn thing..." She hadn't heard the door open. "That's the most idiotic thing you've ever done, just so you know." The Master threw a mean glance down to her, while stepping outside and in front of her.

"I won't bother you for long." Roka blinked tiredly and glanced up to him. He looked more confused than angry, how odd. "Just one last question..."

"Shoot. And then get away."

Lowering her head she started, "You said I should think only about myself for once... And you always brag about how you can do absolutely everything..." Slowly she looked up, straight into his eyes.

"Can you make me real?"


	15. Blink

"You're nuts..." The Master muttered, running a hand through his hair and looking utterly confused at Roka. Then he got louder. "I let you go, stupid human! You are free!  _Run_!" He grabbed her collar and rudely pushed her away from the TARDIS.

Roka stumbled a few steps, caught herself and turned back around.

"I've been running all my life." She trod back, boldly staring at him.

He grabbed her shoulders. "Have I  _still_  not harmed you enough?!"

"So... you can't?" Roka just replied sternly, not averting her gaze. "Not so all mighty after all, hm?" She crossed her arms.

"No, I can't." He let go and stared at her with puckered brows. "Or rather, I  _won't_. You just make things complicated. Get away!" Again he pushed her a step back. "You're basically immortal. There is a whole stupid planet under your feet.  _Screw the rest!_ "

But Roka didn't move. She had made up her mind.

The Master seemed to decide to just ignore her and went back to the TARDIS, but then froze mid-step, his face twitched suddenly and he shook his head. "Ugh, not... now, dammit!" He shook his head again. "Quiet... quiet..." His eyes pinched and flickered and he mumbled something about the drums. What was going on? Roka rushed to him, but he pushed her. "Don't you dare touching me!"

A deep anger was in his eyes. They pinched again as if in pain and he buried his head under his arms, while sinking down at the TARDIS.

Never before had she seen him like that, only vaguely after she had been poisoned. And she had no idea what to do. But whatever was going on, there was no way she would just leave him like that!   
  
The thought surprised Roka for a moment, but no... no way. So she crouched down in front of him.

"What's... wrong?" she asked carefully.

When the Master looked up his eye's gaze was foggy and they flickered from time to time as if he didn't have full control over them anymore. "Go away," he muttered.

"Certainly not! Don't be so stubborn and let me help."

"Then make them stop." He giggled faintly and buried his head under his arms again, but then he said slowly, as if it was hard to speak, "Just...keep talking."

"Uhm... alright... I totally can do  _that_." Roka slumped down next to him, pondering.

"Hmm... since you were so interested in my past... You missed quite an interesting bit. I met the Grim Reaper once, when I still was a child." She smiled at that memory. "He just stood there, leaned against a tree, huge and clad in a black coat with a wide hood. He had no scythe or lantern though. And since I was convinced to be a ghost, I thought he must have come to get me. I asked about it but got the strangest of answers." It was hard to recall the conversation, but she tried to put it together as good as her memory allowed. "He said something like... 'I  _could_  take your soul now, and you would be free, but then we will never meet.'" Roka paused for a few seconds. "I... could see his eyes for a moment. They were old and gentle... and sad." Of all things this was the clearest image in her head. "So I told him to go away then. Cause he really was a fascinating creature and by no means would I want to miss meeting him again.... mhm... can't remember anything after that though."

"You just made that up, right?" The Master mumbled next to her, a slightly amused tone in his voice. He raised his head a little, but didn't look at her. "That sounds so stupid, it can't be true."

Roka chuckled. "But it is. Although I'm not entirely sure it wasn't a dream. A very weird and... strangely vivid one though."

He threw an indefinable glance at her and slowly got up again, still looking as if it wasn't completely over yet. Roka didn't dare to ask, but it probably was obvious, since he said, "Happens sometimes. Just get unbearably loud. Don't know what triggers it..."

She got up too and, after a short reconsideration of the situation, took a step away from the TARDIS. It was so pointless to await anything from  _him_. "You were right. It was stupid to come back..." She shook her head. "Farewell."

"Just like that?" His voice sounded honestly surprised and almost... disappointed?

Completely turning away Roka shrugged. "Was a dumb idea to ask  _you_  in the first place." What had she actually expected?

But she only managed to take another step when there was a tug at her hood.

"No idea if I can do anything." The Master roughly pulled her back and Roka turned around. "And I'm not much of a helping person... guess you figured that much." He looked down to her, cold and observing. Then he let go of her hood, went back to the TARDIS and opened the door, nodding inside.

* * *

"You'll pay me for the effort." The Master made clear. "Don't know how yet, but be sure to dislike it." He stepped up and down the console room. "I also won't hesitate to use every bit of information for my own good."

Roka just nodded. "Didn't expect anything else."

He stopped pacing and looked amused at her. "People might get hurt because of that. Or even die."

"I know." She shrugged. "But they are none of my business, right? Besides... with you it's not a question of how many would get hurt... just of how many  _more_. And if even more at all. Or just the same amount... only with a different method."

The Master burst out into a laugh, although he still didn't look too good, here and there twitching a bit as if the noise was still way too loud.

"Smart... Why didn't the Doctor find out your problem already? Don't tell me he never tried. Way to attached to all of his pets." A strange smirk appeared on his face. Not amused or anything. Just odd.

"He tried," Roka explained. "But it's hard if you keep forgetting your subject of research every few minutes."

"You said, you can make yourself noticeable... why didn't..." He stopped himself, tilting his head. "You didn't care, right? A perfectly fine life in here. Hidden away, no need to run, some nice adventures in between... What changed your mind?"

"I... don't know," she muttered, looking at her feet. "Somehow it feels important now."

* * *

Another sleepless night followed. This time it wasn't even half an hour. Roka sat up in her bed, pulling the blankets closer. How long was a human able to live like that, she wondered, feeling how she nodded away again. Just for a few minutes though. It was no use.

Some cold water and some more cups of coffee would help, she decided.

Not much later her way let into the research room. It was actually more of a junk room, filled with all sorts of medical devices the Doctor had collected from all around time and space. In the past few hours they had gathered data from at least a dozen of those.

Roka sat down one of the cups she was holding on the desk next to the Master, who was using some sort of microscope. He looked up, then to the cup, then to Roka with a questioning look.

"Ah, right..." she said, sinking onto a stool nearby. "You don't need that... Time Lords never get tired, never sleep."

"And you look like you shouldn't drink any  _more_  of it." He chuckled. "It's not true though. We do need sleep. Just not as much and as often as you lot. But since you're here..." For a second he stared at the cup, before picking it up. "The console should have the results of your Eimfra-scan."

She followed him back there. It still felt weird being in here with him instead with the Doctor. They both knew though that she definitely hadn't given up on freeing him. Her access was still heavily restricted. In the end she had made herself the Master's prisoner... again.

The console room was also filled with several devices, of which some were plugged directly into the console itself. To boost its operation speed. There was a lot of data to calculate. Now the small screen showed a blue wall of text and numbers on a black background.

Roka trod closer and observed the screen, not able to really comprehend what it was saying. The Master sat down his cup and pushed a few buttons. The screen changed and two charts appeared. He moved away to let Roka look at it.

"Uhm... I have no idea, what it says," she admitted, standing in front of it, but not close enough to get shocked again.

"It's a complete bio scan." His hand pointed along the values. "Most of it is uninteresting... But... hmm...  _that_  explains a lot."

"What?"

He pointed towards a bunch of numbers. "Your cells are... hm... hard to explain it to a human. Let's just say they are basically constantly resetting. That's what stops your aging."

"Reset... I still get injured normally though."

"It's more complicated than that. Just..."

"I also still get scars. And wounds heal at a normal..."

"Do you ever listen?" He sighed annoyed. "It's just a very basic simplification of a very complicated process... it wouldn't even make sense to your tiny brain." Then he chuckled. "Ever wanted some children?"

"Huh? What kind of question is that?" She shook her head. "But no."

"A shame... I like delivering bad news." He sounded as if he was grinning. "You're more or less sterile. Not really... but due to the resetting your cells never reach a state in which they could be fertile."

"Is it permanent?" she asked. "I mean the freezing in general. Or would it stop if I'm away from the TARDIS for too long?"

"Yeah it's permanent... you  _could_  find some ways to reverse it, but... what for?"

"No, it's fine like that." She shrugged. "What's the second chart?"

"My own data." He said, scrolling through it. "Was curious if there is any biological reason behind the fact that your glitch doesn't affect me. And yes," he added as she winced subtly. "Of course I noticed." Then he laughed. "Based on your reaction though I assume that never happened before, right?"

"No..." Roka sighed. "But there's no doubt... and I don't like it." Of all people...

"Not a ghost anymore then, eh?"

"Ugh. Wouldn't mind if  _you_  forget me" she countered annoyed.

"Your caffeine levels are unusually high..." he said amused, but then suddenly got serious, grabbed Roka's shoulder and turned her around. "How long haven't you slept?" His eyebrows raised when he looked at her closer. "Continue that and you might seriously damage your brain. More soon than late."

"It's such a waste of time." She looked away. That was none of his business. "I'm fine."

He poked her forehead and carefully took the filled cup out of her hands. "Don't waste  _my_  time. I can't do most of the scans on you in that state."

She shrugged, turned around and pointed at a blinking light. "Seems the console has something new."

"Ah, the brain scan. The Gralurigons have developed a really fascinating way of displaying them. Look at that... you will never find a model with more details."

Roka smiled. When it came to tech the Master was as much of a geek as the Doctor. He stared at the scan for a while. "Looks normal so far..." Then he reached past her and tipped at one of the brain areas. The model rotated and zoomed in, showing the area in more details. With every tap the process repeated, always on different areas.

"Hm... you said something about messed up senses, right?"

"I exaggerated..." Roka yawned. "It's not much. I see a bit better in the dark than it seems to be normal and apparently my ears can differentiate between some frequencies a tiny little bit better. It's very subtle though. And the migraines aren't a good price for that." A sigh escaped her. "As for the pain tolerance... it's also nothing noteworthy. Just... wanted to provoke you."

He laughed, then pointed towards a bunch of the images. "Some of your brain areas are wired unusually. I'm no expert on that... but it possibly explains that. Quite interesting actually... but it's not connected to your glitch."

"Did you do that scan with yourself too?" Suddenly she was curious.

"Yep... ah right, you wanted a peak into a Time Lord brain, right?" He said amused. "There."

"Doesn't look different." She was a bit disappointed.

"We have a much larger frontal lobe and... ah, you don't understand a word, right?" He chuckled once more and zoomed in some of the areas, explaining how they were different, but she really didn't understand much of it. "In the end we are mostly so much superior to you, because we  _use_  our brain. Our species didn't evolve so differently, you know? If humanity wouldn't be so stubborn you could get useful too... over time."

"And only if we are not wiped out by an evil alien overlord, before we get the chance for it."

"Overlord?" He burst out into a laugh. "You honor me too much. I'm just a humble Master."

"Mhmm... totally humble." Roka smirked.

Finally he moved away and to another monitor. "Just tap on an area to zoom in."

Roka touched the screen and got shocked the same second she remembered not to. It took her by surprise and the tiredness also didn't help, so she stumbled back and onto her knees, cursing at the Master when she heard him laugh. Now there was a strange tingling in her hands.

He came back and grinned down. "Whoops. Totally forgot."

"As if..." She threw a mean glance upwards and looked at her hands. "How odd. It feels like I'm still electrified." It was such a strange sensation.

"Shouldn't be possible. The floor is earthed. Get up."

He reached a hand down and Roka looked at it surprised, before reaching after it. Though the moment she touched him something strange happened. The tingling vanished and instead a flash appeared in front of her eyes. She saw... swirling stars, golden cracks spreading and then... everything went black for a moment. In the same second the lights all around flickered off and on.

It was over as soon as she had gotten up and perplex her gaze wandered all around.

"What was  _that_?", she let out surprised.

The Master was looking at his hand, then towards her, then he shook his head. "You have seen it too?"

Roka nodded.

"Strange... didn't come from me. Which means..." He looked to her again. "Odd..."

"What was it?"

"Reality... blinked. Literally. It just went off and... on again."

"Huh? That sounds like a bad thing!" She was still confused. Did that electric shock cause it? But if that wasn't even possible, what in the universe...

"It is indeed" the Master mumbled more to himself. "That's not a thing reality is supposed to do." He poked her head as if to see if it would happen again. But it didn't. "Like an echo of an event that is yet to happen. But how..."

"Maybe the TARDIS wanted us to see it?" Roka thought out loud. "If it came from me though... maybe I can prevent it!"

"Or, more likely..." The Master's grin was nasty. "...you're  _causing_  it."


	16. A bar on the moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roka sleeplessly wanders the TARDIS only to find the Master in a quite... unexpected place.

Even without the strange incident before it would have been impossible to sleep. No matter how hard Roka tried, either her racing mind prevented her from nodding away or she woke up after only some minutes. Something around three hours went by that way, before she had enough and got up again. Maybe she could find some ease of mind in the library. The Doctor had shown her some meditation techniques once that, if done properly, could refresh one's mind almost as good as a full night's rest. Although she had never managed to do them properly so far.

Just  a few doors further down the... no, that wasn't right. One of those doors were too many, but it didn't move away from her like the others did.

There also was no key hole so Roka pressed her ear against it and her eyes widened in surprise. Some faint music and chatter reached through the wood. How peculiar, she thought and carefully peeked inside.

What she found there made her even more gaping. Stepping out of the corridor and into the room, she got engulfed in dim and warm colorful lights in various shades of orange and purple. Desks stood all around her and the corners were filled with comfy leathern benches. And all around were people! Chatting, laughing, staring into the air. Most of them didn't look very human and there was an almost unnoticeable flickering to a few of them. Holograms. Looking around some more she also found the source of the music. It came out of an old jukebox, but the songs, although spreading a comfy atmosphere, weren't from earth.

Most of the room was occupied by a bar though. At least this looked familiar, with all the bottles in the back, the spigots in the front, glasses all around and in front of the counter long barstools. The barkeeper wore the classic suit of a white shirt and a black vest, casually leaning at the counter, lighting up a cigar. He spotted her and called, "Oi, a human! Haven't seen your kind in here for quite some time."

Roka approached the bar, confused realizing that the voice sounded very familiar. And not only the voice... Her eyes widened when she reached the counter, looking up into a quite charming smile.

"What can I bring you tonight?" the Master asked, nodding towards one of the stools.

"Aaalright... _what_ is this?" Her hand made a circular motion towards the rest of the room.

"If you ask that way..." He leaned back and took a glance around. "Looks like a bar to me." And turning back to her, he asked again, "So? Want a drink? If not, there's the door." His head nodded towards it.

Was he a hologram too, Roka wondered and climbed up one of the barstools. There was no flickering, but that didn't mean a lot. She reached a hand out to touch him, but he blew some smoke into her face, making her back off. At least that was very real.

"No manners, the young folks!" he protested, his finger drawing a line onto the counter. "That, girl, is a magic barrier. And absolutely nothing is ever allowed to cross it. Nothing but spirits filled into glasses."

He definitely _was_ real and suddenly a grin sprang on Roka's face. This was daft and she had no idea why he did it, but for now she decided to just play along.

"Mhmm... I'm not too familiar with... bars. But I heard a _good_ barkeeper can look right into the soul of their customer and mix the perfect drink for them," she said with a challenging smile.

"Did you? That rumor must talk of me." The Master put an elbow onto the counter and his chin into his hand, staring at her for a few seconds. Then he got up again and pulled some bottles from the shelves, pouring a few drops of one, and another few slugs of some others into a small glass, before dropping some ice cubes in and then sliding it over to her with an encouraging nod.

Roka picked up the glass and glanced sceptical into it, before taking a careful sip. It tasted of... honey and apple, cinnamon, sweet and really quite tasty.

"That's... unexpected." She glanced up into a grinning face.

"Heh, I still have it." He winked at her.

She took another sip and enjoyed the taste. It made her feel a little bit warmer and she couldn't suppress another smile.

"Used to own a place like this." He leaned onto the counter and let his gaze wander around. "Did look a lot different, but in the end they are all the same."

"Done with role playing?" Roka giggled.

"Oi, shut up! Even I have my nostalgic moments." He had an amused smile on his lips though.

"Wait... you _really_ were a barkeeper once?" It made her laugh to even think about that.

"Sure." The cigar gleamed when he took another puff. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Pretty much. Isn't that way to casual for someone like you?"

He just laughed and shook his head. "Maybe on earth. Mine sat right at the harbor of Crestra 6. The whole moon was an intergalactic trading outpost. Most of it covered in an ever stormy purple ocean." He tipped his cigar in her direction. "Want one? They're not too shabby."

"No... they just make me cough."

"Then you're doing it wrong." The Master laughed. "You're not supposed to inhale it. Just take it in, taste the aroma and..." He took another puff and after some moments let out the smoke in form of rings. Then he held the cigar out to her. "Try."

Roka took it and did what he had said, taking care to not get any of it into her lungs. And really... that way it wasn't too bad. Just the rings didn't work for her and she gave him back the cigar.

"See? Not so bad." He gave her a wink.

"I still like the smell more than the taste." She took another sip from the drink. "So... that bar. Even on a moon, how was it _not_ casual?"

"Ever been to a trading moon?" He leaned onto the counter, his gaze wandering somewhere into the distance. "There's all sorts of folks and you can bet on having some trouble at least once a day. We're talking about a clash of countless cultures here, you know... And they all came to us," he ended with a proud grin. "Actually... we had an ever running bet of how long we could make it without trouble... I think the highest count was something around... two and a half days?"

"We?" Roka glanced up. "Don't tell me you had a business partner."

A laugh came from him and he shook his head. "Not the first few years. But one evening this thin blue stick figure walked in, demolished half of the interior... and never left. Darook was his name, was one of the Tra'katere." His smile widened. "We drank all night. And after that I hired him. He actually wasn't too bad. Got some very good deals with new smugglers."

"Smugglers? Of course." She grinned sarcastically. "What else? Pirates?"

The Master gave her a wink. "Everything you can imagine and at least a handful of things you can't." For a moment he stared at his cigar, then took another puff. "We build up a huge network over those years. And no one knew where the others were. Organizing that was task, I tell you. And you can't imagine the fun of seeing all authorities struggle with finding the source."

Roka couldn't hold back a laugh. "Okay... so you were a bar keeping Mafia boss. That sounds already more like you."

"Mhm... the comparison isn't too bad." He grinned down to her. "Want another one?" He asked, nodding towards her empty glass.

Looking down she contemplated for a moment. In her state she really wasn't eager to drink that much, but on the other hand... she had never heard the Master talk about his past. And, apart from the Doctor's stories, she still knew nearly nothing about him. So this could be the perfect opportunity to find out more, although she questioned herself why that even was so interesting to her.

"Can you make something that warms me up?" A sigh escaped her. She couldn't resist. And when she was honest, it also was kinda refreshing to casually chat with him like that.

"Ah, no wonder you're feeling cold." He took out some more bottles. It was fun to watch with how much accuracy he mixed the liquids together. "The scans show that your body temperature is almost half a degree too low. Constantly."

Another glass slid towards her. It had a strange smell and a strong aroma, but as soon as she took the first sip a nice warmth spread inside her, making her smile.

"That's why you're actually supposed to sleep instead of sitting around here." He looked intensely at her. "Seriously though..." His fingers tapped onto the counter. A rhythm of four, constantly repeating, but inaudible due to the music. "What is it that keeps you awake? First you brag about how you sleep everywhere... now that?"

Roka chuckled. "Just because you're wearing a fancy suit now doesn't mean I'm pouring my heart out to you." Only her eyes peered up, a sarcastic glint in them.

"Oi, don't insult the suit. I'm looking great in it!" He blew some smoke at her with a smile. "Admit it!"

Instead of answering though, she put her attention to the drink. He really did, but not in all of time and space would she do him the favor to tell him. More of the warmth spread inside her and for some reason she had the sudden feeling that it might actually not be the worst idea to talk.

"I... don't know what the problem is." She sighed. "You know this feeling when you wake from a nightmare, that leaves you with a cold shiver and it haunts you for the rest of the day?"

The Master nodded, not laughing, not grinning, more looking like he knew it all too well.

"It's like that... only that I can't remember anything. I can't stay asleep for long before it happens." She glanced up to him, awaiting a sarcastic smirk or a gleeful comment, but he just stared at her as if in thoughts.

"Memory repulsion," he finally said. "Sleep is for organizing your thoughts, throwing them away or storing them into your long term memory."

"Yeah, I know..."

"With foreign images though... Sometimes the brain simply refuses to touch them. Especially if they are too contradictory to your own personality. It just recoils from them."

"Oh..." Roka said lowly, staring into her glass, then she grinned. "So you're literally causing me some sleepless nights then."

"That's your own fault", he countered with a laugh and shook his head. "I don't get it. You've seen all that... and you still came running back. That's foolish." A very odd smile sat on his lips and he took a last puff from the cigar.

Roka shrugged. "Just to use you for my own good."

Silence spread for a moment, only interrupted by the sounds of the holograms around and the music from the jukebox. She pretended to stare into her glass, but actually she was peering up towards the Master. He still leaned with his elbow on the counter, the face was motionless, his eyes, for once not filled with sarcasm or malevolence, were lost somewhere else. In a memory perhaps, or a train of thoughts. Roka stared at them for a while.

"Why did you leave?" she asked eventually. "It sounds like that bar was really a lot of fun. And that blue bloke also seemed to be a nice guy."

Without moving, his lips curved into a smile. "Ah, yeah... he was. I wonder if he ever left. Gave him the whole stash of Zefrak diamonds..." He shook his head. "I liked that grumpy stick figure, you know. And that place... it was just perfect." Some bitterness appeared in his eyes. "I left before I got the chance to hate one of the two. After so many years... the chance grows bigger by the second."

"That makes no sense. Why should you..."

A mean laugh came from him, before he stared down to her. "I told you, sooner or later they all betray you. It's just a question of time."

"But, what if he wouldn't have?" Roka protested.

"What do _you_ know about stuff like that?" He scowled.

"Pfff, I'm almost half a century old after all."

"So?" He chuckled. "I lived for almost a millennium." And more serious he continued, "Your mind can't even begin to comprehend how much time that is. And believe me... I have more than enough nice memories that got ruined by people I once trusted. And leaving as long as everything was fine, enabled me to think back to those days, not with anger or hatred, but with a smile." He sighed, shaking his head.

"And of those times, how often was it yourself that was the deceiver?" It wasn't her intention to ask that aloud, but somehow it just slipped out of her mouth, making her bite on her lip, looking away.

But the Master only laughed. "You wouldn't believe it."

"Try."

"Not as often as you think." He put on another cigar. This one smelled different and he looked at it acknowledging. "I don't often care for people," he continued, staring somewhere into the distance. "But if..."

He never finished that sentence and Roka didn't ask. It was astonishing enough to hear him talk like that and she didn't want to ruin the opportunity. Actually... right now...

"Are there any rules against drinking with customers?" she asked with a smirk.

Slightly puzzled the Master's eyes wandered back from wherever they had been and down to Roka. For a few seconds he just gave her an indefinable look, then shook his head, then suddenly nodded.

"That's rule number one." A grin appeared on his lips, but somehow it looked odd, as if it were fake.

"Then drop the dumb act and come over." She laughed at his confused face.

"No," he simply said, the grin slowly fading away. A few moments later he nodded towards her empty glass. "One last drink? Have something special in stock."

"Uhm... alright, why not."

Again she watched him fascinated and at the same time pondered this odd behavior. It wasn't the typical up-to-something kind he usually displayed and she realized that right there he might have shown more of his actual self than he normally would. Or maybe it was who he used to be, but now it was lost and hidden away in rare moments like these. Tomorrow he would tease and threaten her again, being all antsy and mean. And probably punish her in some way for having witnessed him like this.

And what about myself, Roka wondered. Why did she even care? The only two things that were supposed to be of interest were the test results and freeing the Doctor somehow. But here she sat, casually chatting with her worst enemy. Yes, she really _did_ make things complicated. Those words rang inside her mind. What had he meant by that? And why did it feel like she heard it before? If only she wasn't so tired, her mind could surely figure it out. But right now things just kept slipping away.

A shot glass appeared in front of her, bringing her back to the moment. In it was a blue and slightly glowing liquid and on top a thin layer of purple. She looked up. The Master wore a somewhat proud smirk and nodded towards the glass.

She took it up and downed it in one go. This one was sour and cold and tasted like fruits.

"Sleep tight," he said with a happy grin and wiggled his fingers.

Roka sat down the glass and glanced up with wide eyes. "Don't tell me you poisoned me... again."

"Nah..." He chuckled. "Just drugged you."

"Ugh, great," she groaned. "At least tell me with what."

"The Phelgurians are a race of extraordinary consciousness." He leaned onto the counter, staring her down. "They can form actual objects from their dreams, so the most skilled dreamers become something like saints for them, ensuring wealth for the rest of their people."

"So?" She glared back.

"So they developed a drug that enables them to dream without waking themselves up." His eyebrows went up. "Could be of help in your case. Forcing your brain to do its job, no matter what. Although..." He put a hand at his chin. "I'm not sure if people can die from not waking up from nightmares." A mean grin returned down to her.

"Awesome..." Roka mumbled sarcastically, feeling her body going slowly numb.

"There's a sofa over there." He nodded into a corner. "I don't think you'll make it back to your bed. And I definitely won't carry you around."

She groaned annoyed. "I really hate you right now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... this was random. But it was the second most fun to write chapter so far. Sometimes my brain just goes haywire.
> 
> This also almost would have never existed. I actually had nearly the whole story written down already. Then chapters 10 - 12 were pushed in between... and from there on everything went ways I didn't expect at all... this story got a head of its own. So the original draft doesn't exist anymore, although snippets of it are still present here and there.  
> IDK why I'm even telling this... *shrugs and leaves cookies*


	17. The glitch's source

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Master makes a decision and countless tests later they find what seems to be the source of Roka's glitch.

The Master crouched down next to the sofa where the human was sleeping. Or rather being knocked out by the drug he had given her. And still her eyes occasionally flung open, although not showing any signs of consciousness. He lay a finger on her forehead to check and found her mind racing uncontrollably. It was no help. That underdeveloped brain couldn't process his memories. The drug also seemed to have a lesser effect on humans.

She would die. Not now of course, but not even a Time Lord brain could go without sleep forever. The Master got up again and was about to leave the room, letting his gaze wander over the bar one last time. It had been a mistake to come here. Remembering those days had been nice, sure, but also a bit depressing. This room looked nothing alike, and still somehow exactly the same as the place he had owned.

Not alike and still the same. A weird customer did he have this evening, the Master thought with a grin. It felt weird being treated so... normally. For once not like some sort of monster. Although he really had made every effort to be one.

With a frustrated sigh he turned around, slumping down on the other end of the sofa and drawing the girl's head onto his lap.

"I'm usually the guy who  _takes_  your life, not safes it," he mumbled irritated to her, placing his fingers at her temples. He could skim through her dreams and remove whatever was blocked from being processed. It wouldn't be possible to delete everything, but it would do. Back in that dark junkyard he had noticed too late what had happened. Just a few seconds longer and she would only be a useless, insane mess now.

Why had he helped her though? It wasn't  _his_  problem if she tried out idiotic stuff. He probably wouldn't have, had he known how badly it would drain him. This would be a bit exhausting too, but only minor in comparison.

No wonder her mind refused to process them. Those were really dark images, no cohesive dreams, just those random impressions. Weird human, he thought. Being sick and pale from seeing these things for one moment, and then completely snapping out of it for some blinking treasure. As if she would completely dissociate from herself. What a weird thing to do. He had seen it before, when he had poisoned her, like stepping out of herself to become a mere observer. This coping mechanism had even subconsciously blinded her, until she had decided who she wanted to be. Humans really weren't much aware of the effects their psyche could have on their bodies.

What was that? There weren't only images. That little idiot had lied. She also had  _felt_  a lot of things. Felt how it was to be him, albeit compressed and incomplete. And hadn't said a single word about it.  
  
She also had never said a single word about how idiotic he had behaved in that stormy night. Not even teased him about it. Not even thinking about abusing such a weak spot...  _He_  would certainly have done that. He shook his head... don't think about it, he reminded himself. He had simply be drained of energy, nothing else.

The girl's eyes flung open once more and for a second a flash of consciousness crossed her face, but vanished shortly after and her eyes closed again. What weird look that one always gave him. Filled with curiosity and so completely free from judgment and hatred... and fear. And that after all she knew about him; after all he had done to her.

Was that the reason he had decided to help her out once more? And even if, it still was a stupid thing to do, since he would just ditch her somewhere soon. That glitch could be useful, so it wasn't a bad thing to research it. But after that?

The Master yawned loudly and gave off a low, annoyed growl. By all of time and space, he had better things to do! Exhausting himself really wasn't one of them. But at least it seemed as if she was finally sleeping properly. Another yawn escaped him and he cursed the girl for her very existence.

Girl... no... woman. It was always so hard to tell with humans. Compared to him she was almost a child. But according to her actual age definitely an adult. In human terms even halfway through her lifetime, if it weren't for the frozen time stream.

Another yawn came out of him and he decided to stay for another while. He lay down on his back, placing the human next to him. Just in case more stuff to erase would come up. And he would be long gone before she had completed her ridiculous long sleep cycle.

Once more her lids opened and bright green eyes stared up to him, still not really conscious. Then she turned around and grabbed his shirt, snuggling herself a bit closer.

"Oh, come on! Don't do that to me!" the Master moaned and growled irritated.

"But... it's warm."

The words had been barely audible and for a second he just stared at her, before laughing out loud. If only she knew what she was doing there, it would be a nice shock. Once again. Well, down there he had only allowed her to sleep like that cause she had stopped twitching around like a moron. Otherwise he would have kicked her down eventually.

He continued to stare at her for a moment. Warm... indeed, it was. And way too cozy. Carefully he swept some hair out of her face. Not even a pretty one, he thought amused, and not at all behaving like human females normally did. Although  _that_  definitely wasn't a bad thing.

Well... fixing her stupid brain had drained his energy, so there was nothing wrong with  _her_  spending some warmth in return while he slept a little himself.

* * *

When Roka woke up she was still inside the bar, but now it was completely silent. The jukebox was quiet and also the holograms were gone. So empty and abandoned the place felt surreal.

She rubbed her eyes and, for a moment, tried to remember her dreams, but her last memory was that of collapsing onto the sofa, where she still was.

Yawning loudly she sat up, finally feeling refreshed again. Seemed like that drug had really helped.

* * *

Somewhat later Roka slid into the research room only to find it empty. The same with the console room, the library...

"Ah, there you are!" The cheery voice made her jump and she spun around to see the Master behind her, loaded with different cables and other technical parts. "Come, I found something amazing!"

She followed, wondering what might make him so excited. Inside the research room he dropped the stuff onto a desk and pointed into a corner where a strange machine leaned against the wall. It was big enough to step inside, glass all around. Roka had the feeling she had seen something like that before.

"Oh, wait! Is that a Sirhanotchi chamber?" Her eyes widened.

"It totally is!" The Master shoved her towards it.

"Hey, stop pushing me around!" she protested only to have some components put into her hands afterwards.

"Shut up and help fixing it."

There were just a few fried parts and the work was done rather quickly.

"Come on, in with you!" The Master waved his hands towards the machine.

"Is it safe though? I know it can dismember someone into all their atoms..."

"Probably... we'll see." He treat from one food to the other as if he couldn't await to test it. "If that thing works properly... I could even open up some pathways. All parallel universes at once!"

" _That_  would certainly rip reality apart." Roka giggled. The machine had once been build to measure the affiliation of atoms to different dimensions. Making it possible to determine if someone came from another one.

"Yah, okay, maybe not all at once. Get in." He waved again. "And don't worry, if you explode I will use the data for something... good."

"As if!" But she stepped in anyway, knowing that it actually was highly unlikely to malfunction. This could finally prove or disprove one of her theories.

A weird tingling spread throughout her whole body when the chamber filled with countless glowing particles. It looked almost like water, but had no perceivable mass. A few moments later they lowered again and the glass door opened. The Master had his eyes glued to a monitor and wordlessly waved her over.

It showed a bunch of numbers and a rough 3D hologram of Roka.

"Well..." He looked down and proudly grinned at her. "I found your problem."

One or even a few of her heartbeats seemed to intermit. She trod next to the Master and looked at the hologram that rotated slowly and showed particles flowing in and out in a loop. It looked like it was constantly dissolving and being put together again.

"So... I was right. Someone  _did_  try to swap me." She stared to the Master, her eyes shimmering with fascination. "Although I really don't get why."

"Maybe they use it as some sort of abortion method. Probably never thought about what happens to those kids in the other universe... Their tech might be faulty."

Roka gulped at the thought. If that was the case, there could be more people like herself. She really hoped this wasn't the case.

With some gestures the Master put up another image, showing the vanishing particles. "Your matter is constantly shifting back and forth between existent and nonexistent because it tries to swap universes. But the link is broken, which makes it impossible and at the same time causing this loop."

His hands wandered over the monitor, gesturing through various other numbers and pictures, zooming in on some, putting others into folders.... Roka placed a hand above her heart. It was racing. Finally! Finally she knew! And although she felt rested and well her head suddenly got a bit dizzy from the adrenalin, making her sway for a moment.

The Master laughed at her, but then suddenly pulled her in front of him. "Don't drop dead yet. Would be a shame right now, wouldn't it?" He chuckled to himself, rested his chin on her head and continued with the data.

Roka was so startled she literally froze for a few seconds, while the racing of her heart got even worse. That had been so unexpected and she was torn between being mad at him for ignoring her personal space again and somewhat thankful for securing her. From the Doctor she was already used to strange behavior, but she was always unsure which of it came from a lacking understanding of humans or just from him being on the weird side, even for Time Lords.

"Don't get too excited yet..." he said more to himself. "Not sure if this is a good find."

It made her remember the data again and she relaxed somewhat, leaning back at him and watching his hands sorting through all the numbers and images with a fascinating speed. She wondered what the price for this information would be. Until now he hadn't informed her about that, although there was no doubt it would be something she wouldn't approve of.

What irony, she thought all of a sudden, to feel so safe while one like him was standing at her back. Not so long ago he had almost killed her. And he held her only friend prisoner without any intention to ever free him again. Not to mention that he was a ruthless murderer and... it all didn't help. She felt weirdly safe right now.

"Hm..." he suddenly made, opening an especially large screen that showed a chart of all the sorted data. "Interesting..." It sounded as if he was talking to himself and, obviously without even noticing, he folded his arms around Roka's shoulders while studying the data. She didn't protest. "A few simulations should solve this," he thought out loud. "If I change the parameters... maybe add the numbers from the chart..."

"Can it be fixed?" Roka asked, looking up.

The Master stared at the screen for another moment before looking down to her, a bit puzzled as if he just realized that she was still there. Another second passed, before his eyes wandered to his hands, then back to her face and he let go so fast it was almost hilarious, and also took a step aside.

"Err... uhm..." He cleared his throat and his eyebrows wandered upwards. "I'm not sure yet." The gaze fell back onto the screen. "It would be easy if you were a rock or some other inanimate thing... but with living and ever changing matter... Could be impossible... hard to say without a simulation."

"Well... then simulate?" She too stared up to the data, deciding to simply ignore his odd behavior for now, blaming it on him having been so distracted.

"That could take some time though." He motioned to some of the images. "Even with the TARDIS' computing power." He turned around, facing the chamber. "Also... press this button here and wait for the bar to fill up. Then press it again."

With that he stepped into the chamber himself and Roka did what he had told her.

When he came back a new model was on screen. The floating particles were nowhere to be found on him and Roka precautionary sat in a nearby chair while the Master sorted through his own data. At the end he put both collections side by side, running a hand through his hair and giving off a dissatisfied grunt.

"That makes no sense..."

"What's wrong?" Roka didn't really understand what he had put together there.

The Master pointed towards different images and numbers.

"It should actually display in what way I'm not effect by your glitch. But according to absolutely every single snippet of data..." He shook his head. "Also every other test so far. There is absolutely no logical explanation to it. But it has to be right here..."

Roka leaned back in the chair, folding the hands behind her head. "It also only explains why people don't see me. Not why I am forgotten so easily."

"Oh, that... it's a side effect." He tapped a finger against his chin while thinking. "Makes your very existence fade in and out of reality and therefore also out of memory."

That really explained a lot. But Roka was curious herself as to why the Master was the only one not affected by it. And if he wasn't... how many more exceptions existed out there? Had she simply not noticed them before?

"Why is it even so important?" she wondered out loud. "For me... sure. I could watch out for people with the same effect. But what makes it so interesting for  _you_?"

An amused and somewhat mean smirk spread on his lips.

"What do you think? A glitch that makes someone unnoticeable, especially by crowds... And that in my hands?" He chuckled to himself. "Would be quite useless though if I couldn't find out why there are exceptions. And how to circumvent that."

"Mhm... I see."

The Master turned around and looked down to her with a slightly curious look. "No protest?"

Roka smiled amused. "As if that would bother you. And as long as your plans coincide with what I need to know..." She shrugged.

For a moment the curiosity in his gaze got even bigger, accompanied by raised eyebrows and a mean smirk. It was still a mystery to Roka how he could switch from being a complete bugger to a tech nerd and sometimes even to a somewhat almost nice guy without even blinking.

It was as if the longer she was around him the more of a mystery he became.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little switch of perspective was quite interesting to write. Tapping into the mind of another person is always fun and refreshing. Especially such a dark one. Mwehehehe.  
> It's also tempting to think of a side story where Roka tries to find the universe she's initially from to prevent more glitches from happening. (Who knows. One day it might happen.)


	18. Paradox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow your heart, right?

From that day on Roka had no trouble sleeping anymore and she was extremely thankful for this. On the other hand there was the question if she ever had come back hadn't she been in such a trance like state that day. Or would she instead be wandering earth with a backpack again... desperately trying to forget about her life with the Doctor?

And probably going insane because her brain was refusing to process the foreign memories. That made it the second time the Master had literally saved her life, which in itself was odd enough.

Too many thoughts like that were racing through her mind. And those god damn simulations he had programmed took awfully long to be processed. Damning her to kill a lot of time somehow, which was even worse because she was very conscious about the fact that in all this time she wasn't even slightly able to help the Doctor. And with a sting in her stomach she admitted that it hadn't even been her priority during the past few days.

Those thoughts made her crazy. And there was no escape from them.

Roka sighed and stood up, deciding to look out for the Master to annoy him a bit. It was strange though how he had almost completely stopped to threaten or trying to scare her. Maybe he had just given up on it, making her wonder if he would actually be quite the fun guy to be around if it weren't for his murderous and chaotic behavior.

She stopped this train of thoughts immediately. Never ever feel too much sympathy for your enemy, she reminded herself and tried very hard to be convinced that she really didn't. Because otherwise... what meaning would that have?

* * *

Roka found him in the console room, sitting cross-legged on the floor, crouched and both hands clutching his head. He didn't move.

It was strange to see him like that and Roka felt again the urge to do...  _something_. It didn't take her long to make a decision. It didn't matter that he hated her for being nice, it didn't matter that he would never thank her. And it didn't matter who he was. No one deserved being tormented like that. So she silently went over and sat down back to back behind him in the hope to spend at least  _some_  kind of comfort, while his mind drowned in the hammering of his drums.

"Get lost," he mumbled almost immediately, but Roka simply ignored him. "Can't you just do what you're told for once," he groaned, straightening a bit and leaning against her.

"That would be too boring," she stated matter-of-factly.

He let out a frustrated sigh, ruffling with both hands through his hair.

"Letting you back inside was the biggest mistake ever."

Roka giggled.

"That's not funny," he moaned and let out another frustrated sigh. "Not at all!"

"It's not as if you were forced to keep me." A big grin sat on her face. "But I guess having a willing test subject is just too tempting."

"Tzz... You got me there," he huffed.

"So... how many of those tests were actually necessary? And how many were just for fun? Or to test dangerous stuff on a human?" She knew from at least a dozen that they had have nothing to do with her glitch. But as long as she got some results in the end it didn't really bother her.

"Mhm... maybe a hand-full." The Master sounded amused. "There isn't that much what could cause something like that. Although..." Now he leaned fully back at her. "... your theories were quite fun to read. They were  _so_  idiotic."

"Of course they were," Roka laughed. "It took me years of research and when I started I knew almost nothing outside of what humans teach in universities."

"So basically nothing at all," he stated chuckling.

For a moment they were silent. Only the faint humming of the machines filled the air.

"Ugh... this keeps happening too often." He shook his head. "I need some distraction. Not boring research. Blowing up a sun or something like that."

"Well... you're inside a TARDIS..." Roka shrugged.

A chuckle came from behind. "Ever influenced a lesser civilization than your own? You can be like a god among them. One day teaching them how their crops don't die during winter... the next demanding their children to be sacrificed to you." He let out a laugh. "They are like tiny toys. It's really some fun."

"Hm... I usually prefer a less... destructive kind of fun."

It made her feel a bit sick to think about that he probably just had told about something he _had_ done once, remembering her that he indeed was dangerous and mad.

And she didn't care at all.

This sudden thought shocked her. No, this wasn't right. It was one thing to be not scared of one like him... but not caring about all the horrible things... And still she couldn't stop herself from wondering what he was doing all the time. Surely more than conquering planets and blowing up stuff. The Doctor's tales about him were so full of gaps... what had happened in between? What would it be like to travel with him?

There was a knock on her head and an arm squeezed her throat, not so hard she couldn't breathe anymore, but still... When she looked up, her eyes met the Master's, who had halfway turned around and was now curiously observing her.

"Just spacing out while I'm talking to you... not nice." His lips curved into a sarcastic smile.

Roka stared back surprised and felt her heart suddenly beating unnaturally fast.

"Huh, what's wrong with  _you_?" he asked, probably feeling her pulse.

"Y... you... startled me!" she let out and tugged at his arm. "Let go!"

But he only squeezed a bit harder. Not so much it would hurt, but firm enough to trap her.

"No. Like that I can at least ensure that you listen while your Master speaks." With his free hand he snipped against her head and chuckled.

Roka tried to somehow calm her heartbeat, but it didn't help much. If only he would let go of her. If only he wouldn't be so close.

A beep came from somewhere, making the Master look up and let her go. He rose and did something on the console. Roka too got up to look what was going on. All sorts of images and number appeared all over the screen.

"As I expected..."

The Master pressed a button and behind them appeared a hologram, filling almost the entire control room. It showed the 3D model of Roka and the glitching particles floating around her. And over and over again they completely collapsed and then just vanished.

"What the...?" She didn't understand what this was supposed to mean.

A very nasty laugh came from the Master and he grinned down to her. Then he turned around and got the TARDIS moving.

"There, look outside." The grin still sat on his face and Roka went to the doors.

When she opened them she glanced directly into a sun.

Of course the shields around the TARDIS protected her from the heat and also her eyes from getting damaged instantly. But it was still a stunning sight. She turned around to ask what they were doing here, but at that moment the Master pushed her out of the doors.

"I need some fun."

Roka struggled for a moment and was without orientation and unsure if she was falling or not. But there was no gravity in the bubble around the TARDIS and with a sigh she turned around to throw a mean glance at the Master, who sat in the door frame, still roguishly grinning at her, before he hopped outside and then just casually walked upwards to the roof.

Roka manoeuvred herself back to the door, before she pushed herself upwards. The Master grabbed her wrist and pulled her down next to him.

"In a few moments that star will die," he said happily. "Always a fascinating sight. Especially from such a viewpoint."

"Is that  _my_  sun?" Roka asked, glancing down.

"Yep. During its last minutes."

He let go of her wrist and Roka started to drift away a bit, curiously wondering how he could stand there like that, without floating. She grabbed his sleeve.

"Having some trouble there?" He grinned at her, but then his face got serious. Way more than Roka had ever seen it. "Those simulations in there..." He nodded down. "It's always the same. No matter which parameters I change..." The Master grabbed both of her wrists, pulling her directly in front of him. "It seems like your very  _existence_  is a paradox. Only held together by the fact that you are still alive."

"I... I'm not sure I understand." Confused she looked into his eyes, hoping to see the usual glint of amusement there, but it was nowhere to be found.

"It means..." He leaned towards her ear. "At the moment of your death your entire timeline will vanish together with your very self. Every single little thing you've ever done, you ever were. Every thought, every dream, every little bit of you will have never existed."

He pressed something in his hand and the gravity came back, making Roka land on the roof. He let go of her wrists.

Carefully she took a small step away and stared into the sun below.

Then she started to laugh. She laughed until the tears came welling up and she turned away from the Master, not wanting to grant him this satisfaction.

"And you cruel bastard thought it would be a good idea to tell me..." she spat out hatefully. "I could have lived... at least with the illusion...." The tears burned in the corners of her eyes. She bit on her lip, trying to hold them back.

In front of her the sun died in a wave that ran through the whole solar system. Somewhere earth would burn now. And all the other planets too. Gone in a moment. Like herself one day. It was stunning to watch the flames rushing by the TARDIS' shields. Thousands of glowing particles, swirling, racing, burning.

Roka wiped the tears away and sat down on the roof, numbly staring at the fire, suddenly feeling very, very small. The sight though was beautiful.

The Master sat down next to her and they just watched for a while. Roka lay her chin onto her knees and wondered how she could still feel so cold whilst staring into a dying star.

Nothing of this will have ever happened, she thought. She would never have seen this. The past weeks would have never happened... Her eyes peered sideways and she saw the Master leaning back on his hands, staring into the passing flames as if that raging chaos around him was calming him down somehow. Maybe it did.

Chaos... There was so much of it around her, inside her. It was burning her mind, twisting her inside, sending icy shivers down her spine.

"Well... I should do something stupid then." She suddenly grinned. "Or dangerous... or both."

"Dangerous is out of the program from now on."

"Why's that? And why should that bother _you_ anyway?" She threw a mean look at him.

The Master laughed silently to himself and watched the last flames passing, before he answered.

"You know what happens when a paradox collapses, right?" He didn't await the answer. "It's usually not a big problem, because usually... not so much is affected. Maybe a certain time span, maybe a whole planet... But in your case." His eyes peered over to Roka. "You hopped around all of time and space for decades, leaving traces in every single second of your existence. Every little change you made, even just stepping on an ant... All of it will reverse in the exact same moment. And that in all those different places and times."

"So? Stuff like that happens all the time, doesn't it?"

He shook his head. "Not to that extent. At least I never heard of a time traveling paradox so far. It's like ripping a threat through butter." Now he turned to her, still this way too serious look on his face. "Your death will rip reality apart. That flash we saw from the TARDIS... reality cracking open..."

Roka's eyes widened. "That's a sick joke, right? You're just toying with me again!"

"I wish I would." The Master glared up to the stars and for a moment he looked so lost, something in Roka tightened. Then he got up and jumped down the roof while pressing his gravity button.

There wasn't too much time to think cause the missing gravity let her float off again and she grabbed the TARDIS to get herself back to the door.

The Master stood at the console, the hologram filling the room again. She stepped next to him to see what he was doing, but didn't really understand it.

"Why's that even a problem?" she asked. "Shouldn't reality... fix itself somehow?"

All she got was a grumble as an answer.

"And isn't that actually good for you?" Roka continued undeterred. "No me, no dumb games. You would be long off by now. Having your silly revenge on the Doctor, earth burned away..."

Silence... then he chuckled to himself, shaking his head and with a smirk on the lips he turned around to her, poking her chest.

"I like reality as it is."

Another poke, a bit harsher, it made her take a step back. The smirk faded from his face.

"There is no way to know how it will affect...  _everything_."

With every step Roka took backwards the Master came another one closer until she couldn't move further. His eyes were suddenly filled with an anger so deep it was almost frightening. His fist hit the wall behind her, making her jump a little.

"I can't stay alive forever," Roka mumbled keeping her head lowered, but when she peeked up eventually he wasn't looking at her.

A whole life, consisting of nothing more but lies. An all consuming void was everything she was and ever would be. Roka glanced at the Master, who was looking to the ever repeating hologram. And suddenly there was this irrational thought burning in her mind. No, not even a thought, more a wish, a desire. She wanted to see how the world looked through his eyes, wanted to learn what it was that kept him going, yearned to know why he had become the man he was today.

Her mouth opened on its own, and the words just came out of her before she could think them through. "Since... this all is just a silly dream none of us will even remember... why not have some fun with it?"

"Huh?" The Master looked down to her and blinked confused.

"You know... doing stupid things... do what one normally wouldn't. No consequences... right?"

"Yeah..." he said slowly. "Might as well..." His brows narrowed. "Although you would probably prefer someone else's company."

Roka poked him playfully. "Not at all." She giggled. "You're the expert on chaos here. So don't dare to go anywhere without me."

His eyes wandered to her face, then to the finger that poked him, then back to her face.

"You  _do_  realize what you just asked, right?" He put his hand back to the wall behind, smirked and leaned down to her. "But no consequences sounds nice... way  _too_  nice." His eyes fixated on hers and his lips curved into a charming smile. "All of time and space to play with... all the stars out there, they are  _mine_... I  _could_  show them to you..." He leaned even closer to her, stroking a finger along her jaw, resting it under her chin. "Will you join me?"

Roka felt her heart racing. It was impossible to look away from those eyes that were now shimmering like the stars themselves, only inches away. Her mind was paralysed for a few seconds and... she nodded, barely visible.

Slowly he backed off, not taking his eyes from her. "Normally I wouldn't take a human with me. Your kind is too... troublesome." He smiled and poked her. "But you're fun. So impertinent... and still not scared."

Roka couldn't keep back a happy smile.

"I don't get you." He poked her again. "Traveling with me certainly isn't... pleasant. You can come along, but you will be obedient like a dog. You won't ask any questions... okay, screw that part. Ask whatever you want, just don't expect an answer." He stuck out his tongue at her and winked. "And most importantly... you will not even  _think_  about keeping me from doing whatever it is I want to do. And if I burn down an entire planet in front of you, you will not say a single word." His face got serious and cold. "I don't care if you like what I do or not. If you choose to come with me... endure it."

"It won't be permanent anyway." She grinned and sounded way too joyful, what made the Master raise an eyebrow, but then grin too.

He turned around and went back to the console, hitting a button that made the hologram vanish. "Alright, screw that for now. Where do you want to go?"


	19. Without consequences

It wasn't quite as she had expected it to be.

Mostly because it was surprisingly awkward. Roka wasn't used to be visible all the time and the Master, very obviously, wasn't used to another person being around at all. It also didn't help that she was on edge around him all the time. Which went so far that he snapped at her at the second day.

"Geeze, I'm not going to kill you, you know." He rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his tea.

They stood around in the TARDIS kitchen, both with cups in hands, both being silent so far.

"Yeah, only because you fear I could rip reality open," she mumbled back.

"Reason enough." He gave her a wink and snickered. "But seriously, relax. It was  _you_  after all who asked."

"Maybe that was a stupid idea." She let out a deep sigh and got back a wide grin.

"Oh, I promise, it was. But we're on a mission." He winked again.

"Huh? Are we now?" Roka asked slightly confused.

"It's called... having as much fun as possible without ever looking back." He put down his cup and stepped towards her, poking her head.

"Still... you're evil. I never know what you're up to. Or if you will just leave me behind anywhere," she pouted. "If you taught me one thing, then that you can't be trusted."

"Mhm... can't deny that." He tapped his chin, then pointed his finger at Roka. "But you're not stupid. Trust the logic."

"Which is?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"There is nothing to gain for me in ripping reality open, quite the contrary. Which also means..." he poked her once more and leaned against the counter next to her. "...that you're under my personal protection right now."

Roka almost choked on her coffee, before laughing. "Oh my. That can't end well." She peeked up to see him smile, noting surprised that it was a rather genuine smile she had never seen before. And again there was this weird, irrational feeling of being... safe.

* * *

It also didn't help that he changed his clothing style completely from one day to the other. Although it shouldn't have surprised her so much, knowing the stories about him. Still, when he switched from hoodies to designer stuff, she couldn't help but wonder if that was the same person.

"Like what you see?" he asked snickering.

"Not sure..." Roka squinted at him. "I actually think you are an imposter."

"Tz... It's called 'having style'. Can't go traveling looking like an idiot." The Master smirked and towered above her.

She gulped. Like that he was actually a lot more intimidating than before. Making it a lot worse that he refused to keep a proper distance.

* * *

Traveling itself was a lot of fun though, although unexpectedly uneventful at first. The locations seemed random, but after a few Roka could make out a pattern. At each place the Master took  _something_  with him. Either bought or stolen. Once it was a tiny device, another time a worthless looking collection of stones, a few computer chips at one place and a wooden figure at another. What he needed all of that for was a mystery to her, but she wouldn't be surprised if it belonged to a new plan he was secretly developing. Either that or he had a secret passion for useless nick nacks.

The Master also  _tried_  to keep her away from anything that could be even remotely dangerous to her life and laughed when she eventually complained about it. But Roka also learned quickly that he was horribly bad at this attempt.

Not even two days later they were hiding from an angry herd of rhino-like creatures, after the Master had tried to sneak into their territory to salvage a piece of overgrown ancient tech that was sitting there.

Not to speak of the pair of mercenaries that almost vaporized them, when he tried to pickpocket a merchant in an underground city.

And right now they were lying panting on a patch of grass after running away from a group of angry tribes people, because he had stolen some of their stuff.

All of a sudden he started to laugh and didn't stop for quite a while. Roka stared at him perplex, but eventually had to laugh too. The situation was just too ridiculous. And it was fun to see him like that for once. So carefree and almost childlike, instead of his usual cold and stiff self.

"You're the worst thief I've ever seen," she giggled. "Leave that to me from now on."

"Pfff, you wish." He sat up, barely containing the laugh. "Although... they don't see you at all, right? Could actually be useful. Consider yourself hired."

"Also..." She was still grinning widely. "Didn't you want to keep me  _away_  from danger?"

"Sure... Never said I'd be  _good_  at that though." A roguish smile spread on his face. "Didn't have so much fun since..." But he stopped himself there.

"Since...?" Roka carefully pressed on.

The smile vanished from his face and he gave her a look as if it was hard to decide whether or not it was safe to say even a single word about his past. But the moment vanished. "Since before the Time War."

He threw an almost... anxious glance at her as if he was expecting her to use it against him. As if  _she_  could do anything bad with that information. Or maybe not Roka in particular, but plainly every person. She remembered how he had insisted on everyone being a traitor sooner or later and slowly came to the conclusion that he indeed must have made this experience countless times.

She lay back into the grass with folded hands behind her head. "I still can't imagine how such a war must be like. It sounds terrifying."

The Master looked down to her, head cocked slightly and a curious look on his face. "There is no way I could put it into words." He said slowly. "You can't perceive it."

"I know, but... how did it... feel to be in there?" Her eyes peeked towards him.

"Like... everything happening at once, and nothing at all. Things you remember suddenly stop to be. Timelines get created and vanish so fast it contorts time itself and you can't trust your sense for what is real and what not anymore. Well... it was its own kind of fun for me. I'm a great warrior." He grinned from ear to ear, but oddly, as if his words were only partially the truth. And Roka realized that he too had lost his home there... maybe not only a place. She had no idea if he might have had some sort of family there. Certainly at least friends. All of them gone... forever.

He shook his head. "But travelling like this is a lot more... enjoyable." For a moment he looked down to her. "Didn't think it really could be fun to have someone around."

"Is it?" Roka asked curiously.

He nodded and grinned. "I can't show off to myself after all."

* * *

And he really seemed to get his jollies taking her to all the special places he had discovered during his own travels, running around everywhere and proudly showing her everything as if those places were his possession. Not few of them actually  _were_.

The fact that none of this would have ever happened lingered over everything, but Roka tried to forget about this for now. Reality would catch up on her soon enough. And on some occasions she was even glad about it.

Especially when they visited a, to her, futuristic city that she couldn't pronounce the name of. They were on top of a huge highway, hundreds of meters above the ground. The Master tried to hack into the local traffic network when the planet's equivalent to a policeman caught him. The guy drew a weapon and pointed it at the Master, but he had his laser screwdriver already at hand and shot the poor man without hesitation, before calmly continuing his hacking attempt. It was impossible to say if the policeman would have survived the shot, but he fell into the depths below.

Roka didn't look down. Her mind easily put together what would probably happen to him. But she didn't say a word. This was the price she had agreed to pay. And she had known from the very beginning that something like that would happen sooner or later. Eventually the Master got one of the vehicles under his control and they flew off with it, landing near a kind of fast food place, where he hypnotized the guy inside to give them everything for free.

The entire time she didn't say a single word and on their way back to the TARDIS she suddenly felt nudged into her side.

"Don't think about it."

She glanced up and saw him curiously looking at her. "Hey, I'm not saying anything." She shrugged.

"You're actually boring, silent like that," he pouted. "Didn't expect you to  _really_  keep quiet to be honest."

A dry laugh escaped her. "What do you want to hear? Complaints? A moralizing lecture?" She shook her head and sighed. "It's not as if I even have a right to judge."

"No one has... and still everyone does." He opened the door to the TARDIS and trod to the console, pondering for a few minutes while staring at Roka.

She ignored him, but decided to forget about it for now. Yes, a life had ended in front of her. But there was nothing she could do about it.

Next thing he advised her to wear something warm and some minutes later they stepped out into a wide field of snow where the Master ran ahead, spreading his arms and turning dramatically around with the biggest grin. "I present thee... the mountains of madness!"

Roka's jaw dropped. "You've  _got to_  be kidding me! Noooo freakin' way!"

"The exact ones from Lovecraft's tales. Yes indeed." The grin got even wider.

"That's so cool!" Roka exclaimed and stepped next to him. "Pun intended."

He nudged her with his elbow. "No puns around me!"

"Why not? Are you the only one, who has  _mastered_  this skill?" She grinned wickedly at him.

A very mean smile came back and he crossed his arms. Roka turned towards the mountains again and could make out strange cubic shapes raising out of the snow. Exactly as the story had described it. Too accurate to be natural and so strange in appearance that it was hard to deny it's alien origin. The entrance to the old city must be close.

"So, are we going insi... yiep!" She shrieked when she felt a tug on the collar in her neck, followed by something cold slithering down her back.

"That was for the bad puns." The Master laughed at her, already having another handful of snow ready. "Especially for making them with my name."

"Don't you dare!" She ducked under the snowball. "That one wasn't thrown very  _masterfully_." She shrieked again when he grabbed her in a headlock and rubbed some more snow onto her head. "That's so not fair!" She exclaimed, but laughed.

"Stop the puns then." He looked down to her, still grinning.

"Okay, okay... I'm out of them anyway." She giggled, tugging at his sleeve. "So... we're going in, right?"

"The entrance is blocked. I tried everything... no way in. But..." He let go of her and looked down to the shapes in the snow. "I thought you would like to know it exists."

Roka glanced over to him and chuckled. "Are you just seriously trying to cheer me up?"

"No! Of course not!" He crossed his arms and looked into the distance. "It's simply an awesome place. That's all."

But the next time his laser pointed at a person he suddenly lowered it again and instead gave the other man a nasty head butt, before plainly walking away.

The initial awkwardness vanished bit by bit and was quickly forgotten as they grew accustomed to each other. And Roka had to admit that it actually  _was_  a lot of fun to travel with the Master. To not care about what was the right thing to do. To play pranks with people and take and do whatever they wanted. It was a careless way of living and she could see how one could yearn to own the universe when it was so much fun to have it as a personal playground.  
  
It was impossible to tell if it came from knowing that nothing would have consequences or if it was the traveling itself. But very slowly Roka started to feel a little less like an empty shell and found herself laughing more than maybe ever before. And also caring about right and wrong a lot less. In the end... none of it would have happened anyway.


	20. A traveler's heart

The Master showed her the hollow planet Hiek Mejar. Almost a third of its surface had been blown away and the hole reached down right to its core at some points. And all the way down cities were built into the walls and a rather exotic, mostly aerial wildlife had evolved. Some animals looked like giant flying stingrays, covered in fur, others like dinosaurs, but with strange glowing tentacles. They didn't travel all the way down. Just to a black market inside the petrified shell of a gigantic egg, where the Master got a tiny chip from a shabby looking inhabitant with six furry arms and a face like a mantis. He also let Roka steal some valuable trinkets from other merchants, which they later just flung into the abyss one by one. Just for the fun of it.

Another time they spent nearly three weeks on a planet called Ghiburo, where the Master charmed himself into the political ranks of a small country, just to get the codes to a bunker filled with collected alien tech. Roka didn't ask why, when he revealed his rather complex plan to her. She knew only two things: Never would she be able come up with something elaborate like that, and it was a lot of fun to dissect his plans to find small gaps and possible exploitable holes in them. In the end she saved them two whole months. She also managed to twist  _some_  lethal parts of those plans in a way that made killing a few people a lot more ineffective than keeping them alive. Earning herself many mean looks and annoyed grunts that she only commented with wicket grins. The Master might have been a genius and all, but he thought way too complicated and chaotic oftentimes.

After that they visited the obsidian desert of Kh'ra. A planet that used to be covered in sand, but the sun had gotten so hot that it had melted it all into black glass, forming alien pillars and shapes all around. Without the TARDIS they would have just burned in the heat. The underground was honeycombed with tunnels that's walls were engraved with alien and ancient symbols and pictures. Roka ran her fingers over it, fascinated by the thought that something had lived here once. A small pile of red shimmering crystals was what the Master took with him, before he threw a side-glance at Roka and went exploring the tunnels with her for some hours, telling her of the civilization that once used to live in them.

* * *

Right now though she sat in the research room again, watching the Master build a small device. He had wanted a second set of data from the Sirhanotchi chamber, only to find something peculiar.

"Uhm... it's gone." He looked perplex at the scan that showed none of the floating matter from the first. "Your glitch... fixed itself."

Roka sat on the chair next to him and after a short moment of shock she sighed. "No, it didn't. Ever since I entered the TARDIS there are sometimes... like windows in time where the glitch seems to have no effect. Usually lasts for a day, sometimes two. But then it gets back to 'normal'."

"Hm... could be related to your frozen time stream." He compared the new scan with the first one.

"Those were also the times I went out with the Doctor," she reminisced and couldn't keep herself from comparing those memories.

They weren't chasing after adventures as the Doctor always did. They also weren't constantly hanging around earth. In fact, not for a single second. And when the Doctor always looked out for crowds of people, the Master actually avoided them for the most part. It was very different to travel with him, but she didn't regret it. Right now she saw a side of him that was totally unexpected to her. All Roka knew so far about him had been the Doctor's stories, and slowly she started to realize that those formed a very incomplete picture. All those places they visited and all the stories the Master told her about them... at one, or probably many, points in his life he must have discovered them all. It also got obvious that he had spent more than just a few hours at some of those. Sometimes even years, what proved once more that he had a lot more patience than the Doctor.

"Aha!" He frantically typed something and got out another hologram. "Now it makes sense! The effect of the glitch would have gotten worse over time. One day you would have just vanished because your matter wouldn't be able to stabilize any longer."

"Great," she murmured with an eye-roll.

"That's the problem, see? The paradox would usually have not much effect on reality. But since the Doctor had to drag you along... Hmm... Well, not to change anymore. I could build a device though that tells you when the loop returns to stable. That way you always know when you're visible."

By now Roka had already learned that he never could resist building challenging tech. And now she watched as he put a small metal lid onto the device that almost looked like a pocket watch. A perfectly round and flat cylinder. She liked watching him work, watch his hands move with an amazing precision, putting all the tiny wires and gears and screws to their place.

As soon as the device was sealed the air around distorted and bent until the cylinder was gone.

"What the...?"

"That must have looked weird to you." The Master chuckled. "Transdimensional engineering. The device is inside this now." A very small blood red and faceted stone sat on his finger, made from the crystals they had gotten from the desert planet. Roka couldn't see what he did next, but a minute later he handed the stone to her, only now it was sitting inside a delicate metal cage.

"That's... an ear stud." She took it and turned it in her hand, slightly amused. "Seriously?"

"Uhm..." Now the Master looked unsure. "It's way more convenient that way." His eyebrows raised. "I'm quite sure I've seen humans wear stuff like that."

A giggle escaped her and she poked out her tongue. "I guess I can accept some jewelry from you."

Reading his confused look made it only funnier. It was obvious that he was completely lost here and annoyance started to spread on his face, when she refused to elaborate further.

"Maybe something else would be better though," she pondered, still a slight smirk on her lips. "I don't have any holes." Her hands raised towards her ears.

The same moment she finished the sentence she regretted having said it. Especially when she saw him pulling out his laser screwdriver with a big nasty smile as he saw an opportunity to get revenge for having been taunted before.

"That's not a problem."

Roka receded a bit. "No no no no no! You're so  _not_  going to pierce my ears!" She pressed her hands against them.

But he just laughed at her and grabbed one of her hands to push them down. "Stop struggling." A mean grin came down to her. "It won't even hurt."

"I don't care!"

The Master grabbed her head with one hand and when she still didn't stop to struggle he took her into a headlock. "Hold still, idiot."

And Roka had no choice but to obey. It didn't hurt at all, but felt really unpleasant when the precision laser burned through her gristle. At least that way the wound got cauterized immediately. Lastly he took the ear stud from her hand and put it in its place.

"There, fits."

He grinned happily and tapped against the stone four times. In Roka's mind appeared a series of numbers. One showed how long she would currently be visible, the other two showed some large numbers. One predicting when it would happen next, the other showing how much time had passed since the last time. A few seconds later everything vanished again.

"It's not very precise yet, but it will gather data each time this happens. Over the years it should become quite accurate." A proud grin sat on his face.

Roka touched the stone. It felt weird, but somehow she even liked it, still giving the Master a very mean look.

"Years..." Mumbling she tapped the stone again.

"Well, it takes a while to calculate the exact time frame."

"That's not..." She looked down to her feet and let her hand sink. "Years..." she mumbled again, suddenly realizing that reality wouldn't simply reset  _tomorrow_. And that she would live for a very... very long time before it happened.

"You realized that you can't run away forever?" The Master laughed.

"I'm not running... away." Roka turned around to him.

He poked her head and came a step closer. "Yes, you do." Way too close, as he loved to do. "And worst of all." His thumb pointed towards his own chest. "You're running away with  _me_  of all people." A mean grin sat on his face.

Until now she had refused to see it that way. But he was all too right. She had done the worst possible thing imaginable.

No, the worst thing was that she  _enjoyed_  it, a lot.

Roka grinned back. "Then don't stop running."

* * *

She learned how it felt to fly on Alpacratori, where the gravity was so low that one could simply swim through the air. Three suns hovered over the planet, one of them blue. And the people were made of cloth. Roka kept the Master from knotting some of them together. But instead they stole one of their hover bikes and won a race against some heavy rain clouds, before crash landing the vehicle into a mountain.

On the thirteenth moon of Fregnar they awaited night and sneaked into the royal palace to smash the giant statue of the Holy Queen. Apparently she was a tyrant and hated by one half of the population. But no one dared to rebel against her. Their action would probably start a civil war between the two fractions. But seeing a broadcast of the angry queen the next day had been totally worth it.

The same day they visited the underwater caves on a nameless planet. They were completely hollowed out by the water and a system of natural pipes went through them. Hitting the pipes with sticks sent waves of sounds through the cave, emitting the strangest music Roka had ever heard. Eerie, but somehow also soothing. Some of the walls were so thin they could look right through them, seeing glowing fish swim by. And once even a giant creature that almost looked like an angler fish from earth. Just twice as big and with a lot more eyes.

* * *

Sometimes Roka had to remind the Master of the fact that she was only human.  _That_  had never been necessary with the Doctor. He especially kept forgetting that she needed sleep regularly, but complained astonishingly less about it, and even waited for her, before going to new places. At least that was what he hesitantly admitted after she had realized that he never was outside the TARDIS when she woke up.

They weren't constantly traveling, although Roka never found out what the Master did in the depths of  the TARDIS. She was still marked as intruder and could only move partially around. So she spent most of this free time in the library.

This time she found the Master inside it as well, slowly walking past the shelves, running a finger over the book spines. She watched him from a bit afar and only came closer when he suddenly stopped. He would know anyway that she was here, with his unfairly fine senses. Slowly he pulled out a bunch of sketchbooks from behind some thick tomes.

"Where were  _those_  hidden?" she asked curiously and stretched a bit to look inside. "I've never seen them at this spot."

"Hidden's the right word." He chuckled and lowered the sketchbook a bit. "Didn't think they would still be here." Slowly he turned some pages, revealing sketches and oftentimes quite detailed drawings of plants and weird life forms, of tech parts, machines and patterns, both natural and artificial, and all sorts of other things. Next to many of the pictures was text, mostly in Gallifreyan writing, but sometimes also in Latin letters. A sharp, but almost elegant handwriting.

Roka glanced over his hands then up to him. "May I?" He handed her one of the books and she flipped through the pages, admiring the drawings. "Wow, they are amazing! All those tiny details!" Who might have made those, she wondered. The Doctor? Or had he brought them with him from Gallifrey? She carefully ran a finger over the picture of a creature that looked like a sleeping dragon, without wings, but with fur, and so well done it was as if she could feel the fur under her fingers. It made her smile. "Beautiful."

"Think so?" The Master raised an eyebrow, throwing a skeptic glance down.

"Absolutely!" She flipped a few pages further. "Too bad I can't read it."

"Hm, right. Gallifreyan script doesn't get translated by the TARDIS." He trod partially behind Roka to look over her shoulder. "That one is about a planet that is covered in gold." His hand pointed to a bunch of drawings of small delicate flowers and he read, "It was like wading through an ocean of sunlight. And when the wind picked up the seeds got carried away, danced through the air as if they were living stars." He turned to the next page that showed some people that looked half human half plant. Some with weapons similar to swords. There was also a picture of a heart-shaped plant. Only one Gallifreyan symbol was on this page, but the Master continued as if much more were there, "Beneath the plants were bones and metal, old and long melted with the ground. It became apparent that the former inhabitants had been at a devastating war. Not a single person survived, leaving the whole planet littered with corpses. But they had a tradition to implant a tiny seed into the heart of every newborn child. So when their remains decayed over the years those seeds became the golden flowers."

Roka peered up and saw him staring into the distance as if recalling the text from his memory instead from the page. Had he just made this up? But it hadn't sounded like something  _he_  would imagine at all.

"Is that a story book?" she asked. "Or are those drawings of real things?"

He looked down again and back to the book, reaching over her shoulder to turn a few pages further. Her heart beat a little bit faster when she realized how close he actually were. Why couldn't he, for once, stay at an appropriate distance? He even leaned slightly against her back to look at the pages, an almost sad smile on his face.

"All real. Every single word of it. But that's probably boring to you."

"Not at all!" Roka protested and her heart made a literal jump when he reached over her shoulder again, making her wish she hadn't said anything. But once more his presence made her feel weirdly safe, and before she could stop herself she even leaned slightly back, without him noticing.

Few moments later he stopped at a page that showed old machinery and weird looking robots. No text at all was there, but he still told her, "There was a living, breathing city at one place. The machinery inside had somehow developed a life of its own and had started to expand the city, deep into the mountains, down into the ground and so far up that it was impossible to ever see the sky." His voice was calm and, now that she paid attention to it, actually very nice to listen to, demanding all of her attention, drawing her in to this ancient place he told of. "All living things were long gone and the only remaining inhabitants were machines that also had evolved, building and augmenting themselves, although it never got really clear if they had reached some level of consciousness or not." At another page he pointed at some of those machines. All kinds of robots, some giant, some tiny, some without eyes or faces, some with weird legs and arm-like extensions. They were crawling up walls, others sitting in corners and niches, their eyes drawn with so much detail, it was as if they were alive, staring right at her, while the Master's voice told of a wanderer that went deep inside those ruins to search for treasures, always observed by cold metal, but never attacked. "There was no way to keep track of time. The lack of sunlight and the artificial lights make it impossible to tell the time of day. But there were... hives of wires, sleeping giants, melted with the walls and... hmm no, I can't really describe it. It's too alien." He chuckled.

Slowly Roka came out of her trance like state. "You're quite the good storyteller," she mumbled. "Too bad it's all made up."

"Why should it?" The Master laughed, moving away from her back and leaving an unpleasant cold there.

"There wasn't a single line of text on those pages." She smirked.

"What do I need text for?" An amused grin sat on his face. He tapped his head, then reached down and his hands encompassed Roka's, closing the book she still held, before lying the other sketchbooks on top of it. "Keep them." And he walked away.

Perplex Roka stared at the stack and went after him. "I can't just keep someone else's stuff! I don't even know... there wasn't even a signature anywhere."

"I allow it. That's enough." His gaze was full of amusement, a roguish glint in his eyes. "Who knows, if you're a nice little human, I might even show you some of those places."

Roka wanted to protest, but a thought slowly seeped into her mind. No, that wasn't possible, was it? She stopped right in her track. "Those are yours!"

The Master turned around and laughed at her puzzled face. "That took you long." He stuck out his tongue and chuckled. "Although nowadays it's gotten way too loud to make something like that." His face suddenly turned sour, but only for a second.

It was impossible to keep herself from glaring at him with wide eyes. How could a guy like him make something so beautiful? And what did he mean by 'too loud'? The drums? There were so many questions burning inside her mind, but she didn't dare to speak them out loud. He probably wouldn't give an answer anyway. Like always when she tried to find out more about his past.

But those drawings were a bit like looking through his eyes. And at least the Latin script got translated by the TARDIS. It were mostly just annotations to certain details. But sometimes also snippets of scenes and descriptions of how some places had smelled or sounded or felt.

And she loved to get lost in those.


	21. Keep running

With a way too loud creak the big heavy, wooden door opened and Roka stuck her head inside the dark room behind, before strolling inside. A wide smile spread on her face when she found the Master there, sitting against a stone wall, hands chained together and a look on his face as if he could burn down the whole universe right now.

"You know..." she roguishly grinned down at his angry face. "When you look so scary I kinda want to just leave you here."

"You wouldn't! You can't pilot the TARDIS!" he hissed, tearing at the chains.

Roka got out a bunch of keys and kneeled down next to him, while she tried to find the right one. "And I would totally miss getting insulted every few hours."

The chains sprang open and the Master was up his feet faster than Roka could react. Not even a second later she found herself pinned against the wall, his arm pressing against her throat.

"I could do a lot worse than just insult you, you know... might even do that when you let me wait for so long ever gain."

Roka grinned at him and poked out her tongue. "And who gets you out, when you get yourself caught next time?"

With a growl he let go of her and they sneaked out of the cell, past the unconscious guards in front of it. Roka had put sleeping powder into their water. Outside they climbed over the wall of the fortress. But before the Master followed, he turned around and shot his laser at a stash of barrels full of black powder. The explosion ripped out a good portion of the prison and with a gulp Roka looked away. Most of the time she could somehow prevent him from doing things like that, but it was almost impossible when he was angry. And getting caught by a bunch of medieval half-lizards had made him furious.

* * *

But all anger and all travels and all trouble couldn't completely swipe away one thought from Roka's mind.

The Doctor.

Her thoughts wandered aimlessly around the question what would happen to him as soon as her time line would vanish. Had she ever done  _anything_  that had influenced him in a way that had lead him to get captured by the Master? Or would this have happened anyway?

And even if everything would be exactly the same, the thought of him being still imprisoned while she had fun with his enemy... it hurt. Of course, they were in a time machine and when they would come back not even a minute would have passed for him. But that somehow only made it slightly better.

"Can't you... just let him go?" she asked the Master as they were eating sushi on an asteroid so small they could let their feet dangle.

"And then what?" He threw one of the rolls out into space and seemed to know exactly what she was talking about. "Being stranded on your planet again? For the rest of my regenerations? No way."

"I'm sure he would let you... come along," Roka objected carefully.

He laughed out loud, throwing his head back.

"Yeah, he probably would. But as what? As prisoner, bound to his will? Or..." He threw a look at her. "As one of his pets, like you?"

"How about... as friend?" She glanced back.

"He's too scared of me for that." He shook his head. "Justifiably. But I bet you don't believe that, right? He is the 'good' one after all."

* * *

Next time Roka stepped out of the TARDIS she was startled for a moment. It felt so surreal that, for a few seconds, she forgot to breath. Everything was exactly as they had left it, the crates with the scavenged devices still sitting on the floor, a still halfway filled cup of coffee next to one of them. It felt like all of this belonged to a completely different life. Only a few minutes could have passed since then and somewhere they would also be outside right now, and an earlier version of herself would reveal the location of the same blue box that now filled a part of the office.

A weird feeling spread inside her chest. It was like a bulging balloon and although it wasn't painful it hurt.

The Master stepped out behind her and all the past travels vanished from Roka's mind to get replaced with everything that had happened inside this room, reminding her that this man was still her enemy and if it weren't for the paradox he would still be eager to kill her. Or worse.

Without a word he lead her down the corridors and to the library, nudging her inside without saying anything when she threw a questioning look at him.

This time the Doctor sat in an arm chair, reading a thick book, while having his glasses on his nose. The weird feeling in her chest got worse and she finally recognized it as her guilty conscience.

"Oi, Doctor." The Master greeted in a sarcastic voice. "I brought your pet." And he shoved Roka towards him.

"Roka!" The Doctor jumped up and, as always, gave her a warm hug. It made the painful feeling even worse. "You... look good." He observed her and sounded honestly surprised. "Really good." He looked up to the Master, then back to her. "Seems like he treats you well." He observed the ear-stud, but looked as if he couldn't remember if she always has had it.

"Hey! Don't sound so surprised!" the Master snorted, then tread to the other Time Lord and pulled him down at his tie. "Was a bit too busy lately, but I thought I let you finally know that I've got your TARDIS. Thought you might want to know." He grinned very nastily at him. "And I'm having sooooo much fun with it!"

The Doctor's eyes widened and darted back and forth between the Master and Roka, who couldn't look at him. "You... you haven't tortured her, have you?"

"Tch, of course not." The Master let go of the tie and stuck out his tongue. "Just a tiny little bit of mind control." He turned around to leave the room. "You have ten minutes. Not a second more."

Roka looked up to the Doctor, in his friendly and slightly worried face. And the pain in her chest got even worse.

"Do you..." He carefully looked around. "I know he is observing the room. But do you know what he is planning?"

She looked up, a bit puzzled, then shook her head. "If anything at all, then I don't know of it."

"Has he done anything to the TARDIS?" He kept asking.

She shook her head again.

"And... to you? You can tell me."

"No... nothing!" She exclaimed.

Why was he so persistent on it? Was it so hard to believe that he wouldn't harm someone? Roka answered the question herself and bit her lip. And suddenly she knew why she had been brought here. To get an answer to the question that was burning in her mind.

"He just wanted to get away from earth, I think. What if..." She looked the Doctor into his eyes. "If I could convince him to let you go. Would... you take him along?" Her voice almost failed her at the last words.

"I don't see how you could convince him... but, well..." He grinned. "Leaving him on earth would definitely be way too dangerous. And in the TARDIS I could at least make sure he can't do any harm."

"So... a prisoner then..." The pain in her chest got worse, but now it felt different. "I thought you two had been friends."

The Doctor looked up and shrugged. "You've been with him for a few days now. You know he is too dangerous to be left on his own." A warm smile wandered down to her. "Don't worry. As soon as I get out of here you'll be safe from him." Then his face got worried suddenly. "Huh? What's wrong, Roka?"

She had turned her head away, feeling tears of anger welling up inside her eyes. She didn't even know where they came from, but they were hot and accompanied the worsening pain in her chest and now also in her throat. But she swallowed them down and smiled up.

"Nothing. I'm fine, really. And... safe too." Maybe only because of the paradox, but for her it still counted.

On the Doctor's face were a bunch of different emotions, ranging from worried to puzzled. It was obvious that he knew that something was going on, but he also had no idea  _what_.

Finally Roka couldn't bear to see those worried eyes any longer. She knew he just tried to do the right thing. And every word he had said was true. But everything had gotten so, so much more complicated.

"I... have to go" she murmured before he could decide on what to say.

From the corner of her eyes she saw the Doctor reaching after her, but it made her only move faster and she rushed out of the room, long before the ten minutes had been over.

The Master leaned at the wall outside with folded arms, staring down at the ground. Without a word she leaned next to him, still trying to calm herself down, while all sorts of thoughts were racing through her head. She threw a look at him and he stared back, not saying a word, and an impossible to read expression on his face.

He was dangerous. He had hurt people and he wouldn't stop doing it. She knew all that.

He also was a traveler. One with a burning longing for the stars within his hearts. Never would he be able to endure captivity. That she knew too now.

She could do nothing and just run away forever. But one day he probably would get bored of it and simply throw her away. And there also was the paradox.

She could still try and free the Doctor. But if she succeeded the Master would become a prisoner. A dog on a leash. Forever trapped, while his former friend hopped through time and space, having fun.

Roka sank down the wall and put her hands against her head. This was too much. There wasn't a way out. There wasn't even a  _real_  question which of those options would be the  _better_  one. Not from a logical standpoint. But she couldn't think like that anymore.  _Something_  had changed. And everything inside her twisted and burned and hurt.

"I told you." His voice was soft and when she looked up he had crouched in front of her. "But I don't get why it bothers you so much." He wasn't looking directly at her.

"I... don't get it either." She swallowed down the burning in her throat. "But it doesn't matter anyway, right? Not forever." She felt her gaze being desperate, but didn't care.

"No... but you also can't run forever." He grinned at her. Not the usual mean grin. It was odd and as if there was a fight raving inside his own head.

"I know... Just... a bit longer."

The grin faded into a not lesser odd smile and the Master got up again, his eyes darting back and forth between the door and Roka, before he reached down a hand to help her up.

"Sounds good to me."

 

 


	22. The feeling of time

>> [Full sized image](http://fav.me/dcwzw7z) <<

Roka had a lot to think about after talking to the Doctor and hid in her room for quite a while. To her demise she also got a bad migraine. It happened not too often after the Doctor had given her some weird medicine at one point, but here and there they still came.

Sometime later the lights suddenly flicked on and she heard the Master stepping inside, although she had forbidden him to ever enter this room without her permission. Who was she fooling though... as if he ever was bothered by rules. Maybe he would just leave if she didn't move, curled up to a small ball under a pile of blankets as she was, it probably didn't look like there was someone.

But then the blankets got lifted and a curiously looking face peeked down at her. Roka gave off an annoyed groan and snatched them back down. "Get lost, stinky alien!" she moaned.

The Master laughed. "Since when are you so moody?"

"Since  _someone_  decided to torture me with light," she muffled under her blankets. "At least turn them off."

"You really want to be alone with me in a dark room?" he asked mockingly.

Roka only grumbled, but when there was no sign that he would leave anytime soon, she added, "Go, murder something, but leave me alone."

The heap of blankets that was Roka got tapped lightly. "Have I done something to you? I mean... apart from the usual."

If she wouldn't feel so bad she would actually laugh at his concerned voice. Instead she only gave off another groan. "Just migraines. Buzz off, your existence is worsening it."

The blankets got lifted again and this time she threw her meanest glance into his grinning face. Even worse, he completely pulled her out from under there and all her struggling didn't help. Finally she sat on the edge of the bed, squinting her eyes in pain from the light. "What the hell do you want?" she whined. "Let me suffer in peace!"

"Hold still for a moment," he just said, obviously amused and placed a cool hand on her forehead. "Geez, feels as if you'd have a fever."

Roka just growled, but didn't move, and after a few moments the pain vanished almost completely. She opened her eyes when the hand receded and blinked perplex at the Master.

"It's not gone," he explained with a shrug. "But you shouldn't feel it anymore at least."

"Huh... didn't think mind control could be used for something good. Uhm... thanks." Very rarely he actually  _could_  be nice. And her being thankful very obviously discomforted him, which made her chuckle. "Okay, I take it back. Maybe your existence isn't so bad. For once. Although I still don't want you inside here... what did you even want?"

"It's so unusual to not see you all day, was just..." His head turned away. "Just annoy you a little." He shrugged and left the room.

* * *

A few hours of peaceful sleep, a hot shower and two cups of coffee later Roka went to the console room, awaiting it empty. Just because she felt a little sick surely wouldn't keep the Master from running around outside somewhere. The lights in here were actually dimmed, but the doors stood open. And in them leaned the Master, with folded arms, staring outside. A strangely calm mood accompanied the scene and she trod closer to take a glance at whatever he might be looking at.

"Ever seen the birth of a star?" he asked without moving.

"Mhm... not from so close. And... doesn't that usually take way longer?"

It didn't even last a minute and a sun was born, not much later planets formed, finding their orbit. It was a weird sight, fascinating, beautiful, rough and hard to put into human words.

"Time in here is slowed down multiple times."

"Since when?" That was new to her.

The Master grinned. "Since I did it. Wanted to watch. It's quieter than usual today. Had to use that." He shrugged, still not averting his gaze from the scenario outside.

"What's so intriguing about that?" The door wasn't big enough to fit her too, so she only peeked her head outside. "Sure, it looks cool, but..."

The Master's stare on her neck made her look at him. "You really can't feel  _anything_ , can you?" he asked and tilted his head a bit.

"Feel what?"

"Time." He looked outside again. "How it's rushing by, like a storm."

Roka shook her head. "No. Nothing." Somehow it made her sad. It reminded her of how different they actually were. Quietly she said, "I don't get why the Doctor takes humans with him. We can't perceive any of this. Compared to you we must be like... worms."

He chuckled. "Yeah, most of you."

Outside the nearest planet started to become green. Patches of water and landmasses spread.

She turned around to the Master, staring at him. "Can't you... show me?"

"Mhm... I'm not sure." He looked curiously at her. "It probably wouldn't feel exactly the same. And it could overwhelm you easily."

"I don't care!" She glared pleadingly at him, what made him laugh.

"Don't look at me like that." His grin got wider. "Fine, but don't blame me if you drop unconscious or something like that."

Roka shook her head and smiled excitedly. The Master stepped in front of her and placed his fingers at her temples. Both closed their eyes for a while.

At first there was nothing, but then, slowly... there were no words known to her that could even closely describe how it felt. Like being in a dream, like falling down an endless hole, while racing upwards. It rushed through her whole body like adrenalin, but way more intense. Her heartbeat got so fast it almost hurt, while centuries passed and eons turned backwards.

And then everything vanished again.

Her eyes opened and looked into the Master's that had an indefinable look to them. His fingers were still at her temples, then moved down slowly, his thumbs sliding along her cheeks. Only to let them suddenly drop down, before he turned away.

The strange moment passed and if Roka wouldn't have been still a bit overwhelmed by the previous experience she might have thought about this longer. Now she only shook her head and blinked a few times to get clear again.

"You can always feel that?" Never had she thought about asking the Doctor about this and regretted it now. Although she wasn't sure  _he_  would have shown her.

"Not in that intensity. That's just because time outside runs so much faster. But yeah... I can."

Suddenly the whole scenery lost its tranquil atmosphere. What looked like him calmly staring outside, was actually him bathing in a rush of time. And it had felt fantastic to Roka, albeit it probably wasn't the exact same experience he had.

"Look." The Master nodded outside. "Those people down there are now at a similar evolutionary state as humans from your time."

Lights started to cover the landmasses, the same artificial lights that could be seen from space outside earth.

"Wait for another few hours... maybe not even that much... and they will be gone. Erased by their own hands in a silly world war." He chuckled and looked at Roka. "How many people do you think lived on that planet? Over the course of their entire existence."

"More than I can even count."

"How about, you go down there and extinguish some of those little life flames." A wicked grin wandered towards her.

"Whoa! Slow down!" Roka gasped. "I agreed to not say anything when  _you_  do that. But don't dare to..."

"What would it change?" he interrupted her, still grinning. "Look closely. Look down there. Every second we stand here countless lives end. Don't you get it? It has no meaning if one ends a little bit sooner than it would anyway."

"B... but..."

"And this is only one planet," he continued, completely ignoring her. "Not even  _my_  species can fully comprehend how many stars are born and die throughout the universe in one sole moment. What does a single life count when facing those numbers?"

Roka stared perplex at him and a very nasty voice inside her head agreed with his words. There was a certain logic to them. And still...

"If anything is as meaningless as you say," she started carefully, not yet sure what to make of his words, "then why is it you cling to your own life so desperately?"

He let a few seconds pass and Roka was almost sure to not get an answer, but then he turned his head towards her. "Instinct." He shrugged. "The very one you're obviously lacking. Isn't that enough?"

"But all those people down there have that too! And maybe it's not even about the lives that  _end_... but about the people who get left behind." She looked down at the planet, at the lights that constantly faded in an out and grew in number. "Every dying person leaves behind someone. Family, friends... and they will be devastated."

Silence spread for a few moments. The Master just stared outside, watching the lights. But then his head turned towards Roka.

"You think anyone would cry for us two?" It sounded less like a question and more like a thought.

"Obviously not for me." A pained smile sat on her face. "Even without a vanishing timeline. There is not a single being that knows of my existence. And no one cries for something that never was."

"Well... my entire species is gone. And even if not. They would be glad to see me gone for good." He chuckled. "No one left to mourn. So, what shall we do about that?"

"I would," Roka muttered barely audible and regretted it immediately. What a weird thought... It made her wonder where those always came from.

The Master stared perplex at her, but she didn't say any more. And he didn't ask. Instead he threw another look outside and then left the room, leaving the doors open though.

Roka sat down with crossed legs and thought about this odd conversation. After a while though she just closed her eyes and slowed down her breath while focusing on the outside. On time. It was only her human brain that kept her from perceiving it. But it was also common knowledge that humans never used their full capacity.

How long she sat there like that was hard to tell, but eventually the Master came back and after observing her for a few minutes he knocked on her head.

"I know you're weird... but what the heck are you doing?"

Roka glanced up. "Maybe I can learn to feel time."

His eyes widened puzzled, but then he burst out into a laugh. "Certainly not within a few hours."

"I have all the time I need," she pouted. "And I don't want to be a worm."

That made him laugh even louder. "I said,  _most_  of you. Not all." He got a little bit more serious. "I wouldn't take a worm with me."

She looked at him once more and he reached a hand down. When she took it he tore her up, rather abruptly, and drew her way too close with a smug grin.

"Earth would be a lot less pathetic if there'd be more of your kind, you know." His grin widened. "That planet of yours is covered in filth, but I've seen them. The few people that have potential, that don't blindly believe everything they're told. A few that can actually  _use_  their pitiful brain. Thinkers, inventors, artists."

"I... I'm none of those," Roka protested slightly, but had some trouble to think clearly. He had drawn her so close they almost touched and her heartbeat was acting up, making her almost dizzy.

"Oh, you seem to have no idea who you are, little ghost." He leaned down a bit, glaring into her eyes. "But I see the urge to learn, to know, to seek out whatever there might be beyond the known horizon. I like that."

"Too bad I'm not real," she mumbled, unsure what to make of his words. Either he had just complimented or mocked her horribly. It wasn't really clear to her which of it. And also not which option she would prefer. "I'm not even standing here right now. This conversation doesn't happen. I'm not breathing, not thinking, not..." Her voice faltered.

With a slight hitch The Master drew her fully against him and put a hand at her back to hold her in place. "Right now you are."

No doubt, he must feel her racing heartbeat, close as they were. But she really wasn't in the mood for his silly games, so she pushed herself away and he surprisingly let go immediately.

"No... I'm not... that's the problem." Her head sank down and she let out a sigh. "I know things usually never vanish. They are preserved somewhere in time and are still happening. But for me... nothing will be left." She shook her head. "None of this is real. It's not even like a bad dream. It just...  _isn't_."

Suddenly tears came welling up, but she could keep them back and instead just turned to the opened door. She heard the Master step closer, but at least not  _too_  close this time. Down on the planet the fiery explosion of a nuclear weapon drew the cap of a mushroom into the atmosphere, followed by more and more until they stopped completely. All lights were gone, and probably also all life. But their pasts were still there. They could use the TARDIS and simply jump back and everything would be still preserved.

It wouldn't vanish. Not like herself. And as insignificant as she might be to the grand scheme of things, as much as no one would remember her, she wished that all of what she had been through would stay real.

"Can't... can't you  _do_  anything?" Roka pleaded, spinning around. "I will pay! Somehow..."

"Would you go down there and start the war that will extinguish this entire race?" A cold and expressionless glance sat on her. He grabbed Roka's wrists and again drew her closer, this time though only to stare menacing down into her face. "Would you wipe them all out?"

She gulped... and then nodded. "I don't care. And if I have to be your assassin for the rest of my existence. I don't care who you are and what you do. I... I don't want to vanish! I don't want that nothing of this ever happened. Just...  _do_  something!"

The Master stared at her, emotionless and cold, but then his look got warmer, almost sad. "There is nothing I can do." His hands cupped her face and for a second there was this indefinable look from before. His thumbs gently stroked along her cheeks. "I'm afraid you're lost." Finally he let go of her.

Desperation was about to swallow Roka. Nothing... nothing of this was real. She stared up into his eyes, unable to tell what he was thinking. It didn't matter, nothing did. She felt so cold, like there was ice running through her veins, and she somehow wished she hadn't pushed herself away from him.

But suddenly she smiled widely. "So be it. I'll just enjoy however much time I have left then." Playfully she poked the Master. "Where do we go next?"

His head tilted and for a few seconds he just stared at her.

"Stop doing that," he finally said.

"Doing what?"

"That!" He poked her forehead. "Just wiping away everything. Dissociating from yourself. It's creepy."

"Huh? No idea what you're talking about. I just want to make the best of what I have."

"Tzzz, then allow yourself to suffer." The Master poked her once more. "Hide from me if you must. But not from yourself. Believe me." He smiled. "It will only destroy you."

She gulped, but held his gaze. "No, it won't. It's not even happening... remember?"


	23. Being casual

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"You  _do_  realize you're supposed to sneak around them?"

"That takes up waaay too much time."

"It's called  _stealth_  for a reason..."

"Yeah, yeah... maybe next time."

"Stop killing them! Seriously!"

"But... it's so much more fun that way," Roka pouted.

The Master threw an annoyed look at her. "You're totally ruining my score!" And with that he ripped the gamepad away from her.

"Fine, do it better." She raised her hands and threw an amused look back at him, while watching the character on the screen performing some fast and precise moves. Dancing around some guards and evading every trap around. He actually was really good at that. "Well... at least I'm better at Dark Souls." She peered up and saw him rolling his eyes.

"Shut up. That game is awful. No one can beat that!"

"I did." She giggled. "Twice."

"I hate you." His character slipped in front of a guard and got caught, which made him reload the last save.

"Pff... I could do it too this way. That's cheating."

"It's not!"

Right now they weren't traveling because the Master calculated... something he didn't explain to Roka. But whatever it was, it was supposed to use as much power from the TARDIS as possible and it seemed to take a while to finish.

Which meant they both got horribly bored, which in return planted the weird idea into the Master's head to find  out how humans spend their free time usually. Roka though, being the nerd she was, also wasn't a real expert on that subject, so she had reverted to the two things she found most amusing. Playing outdated videogames and watching bad horror movies. It also was an utterly amusing thought to see  _him_  doing those things.

The TARDIS once more proved to be of perfect help and had provided them with a room that couldn't be more casual. It wasn't too big, comfily dim and had a really big, wide and deep sofa and an even bigger TV inside. And there was one of those machines that produced food from atoms. In her head Roka always called those things Star Trek machines. Because... well... in the end they were exactly that.

In short it meant they had an endless stash of popcorn and other unhealthy stuff at hand. Two empty bowls of crisps already piled next to where the Master was lying. Of course he had occupied the sofa and somehow managed to fill it out completely. Roka sat on the carpet below, hands folded behind her head.

"Ah, screw that!" He threw the gamepad away after he got detected once more. "What about those horror movies? And why do they have to be bad?"

Roka glanced up and giggled. "Because those are the most fun."

There was a small tablet with which the TV could be controlled and she looked through a vast library. Having access to movies from all time spans really didn't help deciding. The Master sat up and looked over her shoulder from above.

"That one looks fun." He pointed at one with an ugly face on its cover. The reviews said it was awful, so she started it with a grin.

It turned out that the Master had never watched many movies. And he was surprised that humans made ones that had the only purpose to be scary. Emphasizing that certainly none of them would ever be able to spook  _him_. Not that those bad ones would be any scary, but it was fun to bet on how many cheap jump scares they could predict.

"Ugh! Why would anyone do that?" he exclaimed, when one of the protagonists went down into a cellar. Alone and without a light source of course.

A hand reached down and snatched some of the popcorn out of the bag Roka had on her lap. She looked up and he was still sitting upright above her, cross-legged and fixated on the screen. It was a kinda hilarious sight, considering who he was.

He reached into her bag again... and once more.

"Get your own!" she complained.

He looked down to her, then to the bag... and snatched it completely away, leaning back.

Roka sighed and went to the machine and got herself a new one. But when she sat down again the Master also snatched that one away.

"Hey!" She threw a mean glance upwards and he stuck out his tongue, while grinning. So Roka decided to be annoying and slumped herself down on the sofa next to him, boldly reaching inside the bag.

"Get away!"

"Stop stealing my stuff!"

"Never." He held the bag away from her.

That moment a ghost appeared on the screen, accompanied by a loud scream. The Master winced and Roka laughed meanly at him.

"Oi! It's just because it was loud!"

"Of course." She had a sarcastic grin on her face and once more reached towards the popcorn.

He pushed her way, but winced once more and cursed loudly when a very ugly face appeared on screen.

"Who the hell designs such things!" he complained. "That's horrible!"

"That's the purpose." Roka could barely keep herself from laughing out loud.

"That do'n' ev'n make any sens'..." he said, munching more popcorn. "Ho' 'ould they e'en exist? Their gravikum fiel' would ha'e to exceed the..."

"It's just a movie."

"That doesn't excuse the lack of logic!"

"Your stomach is a lack of logic," replied Roka while taking down the second now empty bag that he had placed onto her head with a grin.

She went to get a big one this time and sat back onto the sofa, putting the bag between them. He would have stolen it anyway, but like that she might have a chance to get some herself.

The credits rolled and Roka got the tablet to look for a good movie this time. Maybe something from Asia. At least something really creepy.

"Don't grin like that. You can't spook me with those." He looked like he was about to just snatch the bag away, but then decided to let it sit there and just reached inside.

After a while Roka saw that the bag was still full and she glanced over to the Master, who sat tensed and upright, staring at the screen. A roguish grin stole itself on her face and she leaned carefully over to poke him.

He jumped, cursing, and backed away towards the end of the sofa, before realizing that it was just a now loudly laughing human. Roka could hardly breathe anymore.

"Didn't know you were such a chicken." She wiped a tear away, snatched the popcorn bag into her arms and put her attention back to the TV, expecting some revenge.

It came promptly, but not in a way she would have expected. He got up, trampled over the sofa and suddenly slumped down right behind Roka, folding his arms on top of her head and throwing a mean grin down to her surprised face, before he reached into the popcorn she still held in her hands. "At 'east y' can't do stu'id things there."

Roka froze completely for a few moments while her heartbeat got so fast that she feared to simply drop dead soon. Why could he not just...  _not_  do things like that! In her head she cursed very nastily at him and tried to calm herself  _and_  her heart rate.

It didn't work. Not even a bit. Worst of all was that she had not the slightest clue why she reacted like that when he was close. It certainly wasn't fear. Actually... it wasn't even uncomfortable to sit like that...

Something brushed her ear. A squeak escaped her and she jumped, only to hear a loud laugh from behind.

"God dammit!" she exclaimed. "You're such a sod!"

"You totally deserved that." He folded his arms on her head again and grinned down.

Roka grinned back. "So, you admit I spooked you before."

"Pfff! You wish!" He peeked into the popcorn bag, but it was already empty.

Roka remembered it only now and her stomach growled, followed by another mean laugh from behind.

"Just because you ate all of it!" she complained.

"I'm so totally  _not_  sorry about that." He chuckled and finally moved away from her again, occupying the other end of the sofa, hands folded behind his head.

Finally she remembered the movie again. It seemed like she hadn't missed anything important. The plot was quite predictable. "I bet he will try to revive her now... and then she'll probably turn into a zombie - or something similar - and eat him," she foretold. "If it comes true you'll get me a pizza."

"Tz, you know this one already."

"No. But I've seen thousands of those." Roka giggled. "Deal?"

"Won't happen anyway, deal."

The Master squinted at her when the first half of her prediction came true. "What a stupid thing to do!"

"Typical plot. The viewer is supposed to have some compassion for the guy, cause he wants to save his love." She shrugged.

"Ugh, boring." The Master rolled his eyes. "Who would do that?"

"Saving a loved person?" Roka laughed. "Everyone?"

"That's stupid. I wouldn't."

"Surprise. Well... you Time Lords aren't experts on that subject anyway," she chuckled, thinking back at all the companions of the Doctor, who sooner or later had given up on gaining his affection. Okay, there had been Rose, but she had been unique somehow.

"What for?" The Master raised an eyebrow.

Roka sighed and said more to herself "Why am I not surprised about that question..."

"No really... it's no use when almost your entire species is sterile. What do you think the loom chambers were for?" He looked at her as if that were the most obvious thing in the universe.

Right, she had read about those. They took a random set of genetic material and bread it into a new life form, a new Time Lord, perfectly genetically engineered. To a human like her it was a strange concept though.

"It's not just for reproduction..." She poked out her tongue and giggled.

"No... obviously not." He furrowed his brows. "People also seem to have a liking for getting eaten... Aaaalright. You'll get your damn pizza." He scowled while the second part of Roka's prediction unfolded on the screen.

Later they landed on the planet Athral and when they stepped outside they were in a modern city and a very tasty smell hit their noses.

"I totally need one of those now." The Master said, sniffing the air.

Roka stared at him, flabbergasted, remembering the pile of snacks he had just shoved into him. "How the hell can you still be hungry?!"

* * *

Not travelling was maybe the worst thing that could have happened. Simply because there was only one thing that was worse than an evil Master... and that was a bored one.

"You know..." he threw a serious glance at Roka. "There is something that really bugs me about you..." He tapped his chin, while letting the dramatic pause sink in. "You lack style," he finally said, looking at her usual flannel and t-shirt outfit.

Roka gave him a mean look back. "It's called the  _no one sees me anyway and it's comfy so I don't care how it looks_... style."

"Clearly..." He tapped his chin again and raised an eyebrow. "Let's see... that giant wardrobe surely has something."

"No freakin' way!" She crossed her arms. "Just because you're bored doesn't mean..."

"Och, come on. That won't hurt." He grinned at her nastily.

"No, no and absolutely no!" She turned her head away, but her eyes peeked back to him. "I really don't even  _want_  to know what you would pick."

Unwillingly she had to admit that he looked quite handsome since he had given up on hoodies. He definitely had a good taste. Not that she would tell him.

There was a tug at her collar and suddenly she got dragged along, while all her protests fell on deaf ears.

"I won't wear anything too girly!" she moaned. "And definitely nothing even  _close_  to a dress!"

The Master let go of her when they reached the wardrobe and snickered. "That would only suit  _pretty_  girls anyway."

"Pfff..." Roka crossed her arms and turned her head away, still feeling the Master's gaze on her, wandering up and down, way too intensely for her taste. "Stop getting all creepy, you pervert!"

"Certainly not on you," he chuckled. "Rather want me get your size the old school way?" His hands mimicked getting out a measuring tape.

Roka just threw him a mean glance and he left her, grinning to himself. She sighed and leaned against the wall. When he had set his mind on something it was impossible to talk him out of it anyway. A grin stole itself onto her face. Getting fashion tips from her enemy surely wasn't a thing she would have ever imagined happening to her. Well... enemy... in a way they had almost become something like companions... although there was still the fact that the only reason she was still alive was the paradox.

The thoughts got disrupted by a bunch of clothes dropping on her head.

"There ya go!" came a happy voice from above. "I guess you don't need help with that." He chuckled to himself and went somewhere else.

With a sigh Roka got into a changing room. Much to her displease it wasn't something girly or anything else she could have just plainly refused to even try on.

Outside she turned around in front of a mirror and frowned at her reflection. That actually looked really cool. It was a black, diagonally buttoned shirt with a white collar and above a likewise black jacket with some carefully placed neon blue lines. It looked a bit like something out of a sci-fi game.

"What's that mean look for?" He stepped next to her, looking up and down.

"I hate that it actually looks nice," she sighed. He  _definitely_  had some taste.

"It really does." His reflection raised both eyebrows. "See? It's still comfy. And you look female for once." He stuck out his tongue toward her.

She rolled her eyes and let out another sigh when she saw that he had brought some more stuff.

* * *

The Master still refused to move the TARDIS anywhere so Roka sat inside her room some hours later and stared at the data she had copied from the research room. Her PC was way more enhanced than anything from her original time, but not nearly advanced enough to calculate the Master's simulations properly. At least not with a visual output, but she got at least a bunch of numbers. Which was better than nothing, since she clearly wouldn't get any answers from  _him_.

She stared at it for a longer while and sighed, rubbing her eyelids. Then her gaze fell onto the date and she blinked at it a few times before she recognized it. Should she do something? It was so useless... but then she decided that some cookies would be nice.

The TADRIS had the absolute perfect kitchen anyway. The tech inside here was amazing and baking stuff usually only took a few minutes at maximum. Usually though she only came here to get coffee.

"What are  _you_  doing?"

Roka rolled her eyes and sighed. Of course he had to come in here, while she was busy. "What does it look like?"

"There's an Atom Fuser." He shrugged and sat onto the counter, far enough away from the dough not to get dirty himself, but close enough to snatch something away. "No need to make anything yourself." He tried to snatch more, but Roka slapped his hand away.

"Stop eating that!" She threw a mean glance upwards and formed the dough into cookies.

"Don't hit me, cheeky human!" He tried to steal more and Roka slapped his hand again. "Oi! You can't just do that with me!"

"Wait a few minutes." Roka grinned and peered up to see a venomous look on his face. She turned around and put a few bowls on the counter. "So... what do you want? Chocolate, blueberries, Smarties?"

"Huh?" He looked perplex into the bowls, then back to Roka.

"On your share... what sort do you want?"

"Wait..." His eyebrows furrowed. "You make some for me too? What do you want?"

"Uhm... weird question. I want to bake, because it's fun... and it doesn't take significantly longer to make some more... so..." But the Master didn't look satisfied with her explanation. It was more as if he was intensely thinking about what price he would have to pay. "Don't tell me..." Roka began slowly, "no one ever made something like that for you?"

"What for?"

He sounded so honestly surprised about that question that it took Roka some seconds to respond.

"Nothing for... Because it's a nice thing to do. And if I make an extra share for you it reduces the probability of you stealing mine away." She laughed, but his confused look made her serious again. "Did anyone ever did a _nything_  nice for you?" Her eyebrow raised. "I mean... just for the sake of it. Without demanding payment of some sorts..."

"Don't think so." He squinted at her as if that question was a trap. "Where's the use in that? You gain nothing from it."

"Aaaaalright." Roka sighed and shook her head. "You'll get an extra portion."

"What! Why?!"

"Because... I have fun making them, I don't want you to steal my share... and maybe I'm just a nice person. So... before you can ask more dumb questions, what do you want on yours?"

"Everything!" His look was still a mix of puzzled and cautious.

Of course. It made her grin and she decorated a first sheet full of cookies, before putting it into the oven. And while the smell of them started to fill the air, she filled the next few, being observed by curious eyes.

"So... are Time Lord's in general such cold hearted bastards... or were they just mean to  _you_?" She didn't look up.

"No idea what you mean... but... I guess they didn't like me much." He sounded thoughtful.

"Why's that? Aren't you all equal? I mean... weren't those loom chambers designed to eliminate all differences... except for appearance and character."

"I'm not."

"Hm? Not what?"

"A loom." He stared at her and finally she looked up and at him. "That's... almost some kind of scandal, depending on the house."

Roka blinked perplex. "Let me guess... because natural born Time Lords aren't perfect? That's ridiculous."

"For humans maybe." He crossed his arms. "Had to prove my worth like everyone else... maybe a little more... but still..." He shrugged and hopped from the counter, ending the topic with that. Not that he would have to tell much more. The implications were strong enough.

It made her grin to see him pacing up and down, watching the cookies get ready. She giggled and put on an oven glove to get out the sheet and put in the remaining ones. Now that she knew the perfect temperature they would only take a minute. It smelled fantastic.

The Master immediately tried to grab one of the cookies, but let it fall down to the sheet again, shaking his hand.

"You know..." Roka grinned at him, when he put the burned finger into his mouth. "I really have no idea how I was ever supposed to be scared of  _you_."

His arms crossed and he straightened up to tower above her with a very mean look on his face. "There are some fine sharp knifes in here." He nodded towards some. "Want me to try them on you?"

"Not now. Step back from the oven." She shooed him away with a wave of her hands and got out the rest of the sheets.

"You're so annoying." He sounded deeply disappointed.

Roka wrapped up the cookies into bundles, tied them together and put three of them into the Master's hands, smiling up. "There, have fun."

"I bet they are awful." He stared down to the cookies, a confused look on his face.

With a smile she left him there and went to her room. The best thing about being inside a TARDIS was that there never was a need to tidy anything up, since rooms could just be set back in time.

A few minutes passed before she peeked out once more. The corridor was empty, so she snuck out and went to the TV room. It was unoccupied. Introducing the Master to movies had been a really bad idea, since he had discovered a liking for them. So, having the room for herself would be fun.

A creak revealed the door to be opened some time later though. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the Master sneaking in, placing himself on the other end of the sofa, not saying a word. Fine, she thought. As long as he kept silent... It was annoying enough that he followed her around so much and she regretted to not have put sleeping pills into his batch of cookies, which he was eating now, having a look that clearly indicated that they tasted nice. It made her grin.

Somewhere during the third movie Roka nodded away and only awoke when the noises eventually stopped. She didn't bother with getting to bed. What did it matter where she slept.

"I never got this human tradition," said a voice at the edge of her sleepy perception. "Why do people celebrate getting closer to dying?"

Roka opened her eyes and yawned, only now realizing that she still sat upright, cuddling a pillow. It was useless to take a look around, since there was no light.

"No idea... I technically don't age anyway. But I have to keep track of time  _somehow,"_  she mumbled back, wondering why he was still here. "Guess they want a reason to feel special once in a while. And presents are nice. Probably." Another yawn escaped her.

"I've got some bad news, does that count?"

The light of the control tablet faintly illuminated the room, showing the Master sitting cross legged on the other end of the sofa, head down, probably scrolling through the list of movies.

"It's not possible to fix living matter," he mumbled.

"I know. I copied the data." Roka glanced at him, but in the dim light it was impossible to tell what was on his mind when he looked up.

"Seems like you can't get rid of that glitch." He grinned.

"That's what took so much power to calculate?" Now she got curious. But even her own PC had been able to come up with that.

"No... that's a different...  _thing_. Oh, that one sounds nice. I like haunted houses." He smirked. "You'll still pay me for the effort."

"Yeah, yeah. Thought so. Although I don't really have anything to pay you with."

A meanly amused chuckle came from him. "How about your life?"

"That's... a bit lame..." Roka stared at a dark corner on the ceiling, then shrugged. "Fine with me." Suddenly she felt tired in more than one way. But also somewhat relieved. All of this was a mere farce anyway.

The Master moved some pillows out of the way and slid next to her. Roka didn't even look at him, calmly wondering how he would do it. But when nothing happened after some minutes she glanced over to see him leaning back, hands folded behind his head.

"Not... now?" she asked perplex.

"Disappointed?" He chuckled. "I'm still having fun with you. That can wait."

So it was settled. Eventually it would be him who would end her otherwise limitless life. Maybe after this movie. Maybe after hundreds of years. Who could tell how long he intended to play with her. But if it wasn't now... why had he sat next to her?

She peeked up and saw his eyes staring into an unknown distance, as if he wasn't paying attention to what was going on on the screen.

It was weird to be so close to him. And there it was again, her heart beating just a tad bit faster. He probably wouldn't even notice, so she leaned back too and slightly, barely, against his side, still clutching the pillow.


	24. Insanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting from here the story tends to dip more and more often into Mature content. *cough*

>> [Full sized image](http://fav.me/dcy6271) <<

With an annoyed grunt the Master stretched out all limbs and gave the console room ceiling his meanest stare.

"Don't just sit around," he whined from the ground. "Do something."

Roka sat in one of the seats, a book in hands and took a long sip from her coffee. "That calculation must be hellishly important that you endure boredom for it," she answered sarcastically and didn't even look up. "Not my fault."

"What do you think I'm dragging you along for? For fun?" He snorted. "Wait... no, that actually  _was_  the reason." A deep sigh came from below. "Ahhhh... screw that!"

He jumped to his feet and slammed a button on the console to wake up the machines. The TARDIS, obviously not amused about this treatment gave him a little shock. "Stupid, damn piece of junk!" the Master cursed. "The Doctor spoiled you! And  _you_  stop giggling at me!" he snapped towards Roka.

She pressed her lips together, but couldn't stop smirking.

"Mhm... any ideas? I'm so bored I don't even know where to go."

"Somewhere dangerous for once?" Roka hopefully raised her brows.

"No. And if...  _you_  wouldn't come along." He pointed a finger at her and finally got the TARDIS moving. "How about a complete change of scenery... That would be nice."

Few moments later Roka's feet touched cottony ground, overgrown by grass in different orange shades. Around them grew a forest of weirdly bend and twisted trees with autumn colored tree tops. No leaves were falling, so it had to be their usual color. It was a scenery as if from a painting. Just the air smelled off. Like a forest, but also... Roka sniffed a few times.

"Are we near a sea? It smells like salt."

"Inside one, actually." The Master looked a lot more jovial now and stormed ahead. "Come, come. I'll introduce you."

"To whom?" That made her curious. Who could live at such a place? It also would be the first acquaintance of the Master she would ever meet. Until now she hadn't expected him to have any.

At least about that last part she seemed to be right. The trees cleared to present them with a look over a shining, turquoise ocean. No building or anything the like was there, just a big, smooth and round stone right at the water. The weirdest thing, though, was that it looked as if they were moving  _through_  the water.

The Master crouched down onto the big stone and started to pat it like it were some giant...

Roka gasped as the thing started to shift and raise with a deep groan out of the water, while the Master balanced on top with the widest grin. He waved her over and she rounded the stone, no, the head, to gape into a gigantic purple shimmering eye that was roughly twice as big as herself.

"Hello there," she greeted happily, before patting the rock, or rather the thick, rough skin.

"No idea what it is," came the answer to her yet unspoken question from above. Roka looked up and saw him lying on his stomach, looking down to her. "First time I was here I tried to swim through below. But it's huuuuge!" He spread his arms and grinned. "Looks like a mix of turtle and octopus. And, obviously, it never dives."

"What an amazing find!" She smiled at the eye and wondered if that being might be intelligent. At least it didn't seem to be bothered by them and slowly lowered its head back into the water.

"It's shell is littered with holes, so..." he hopped down to the ground. "...I hid some stuff in one of them. Back before my good old pirate ship got smashed."

Roka smiled widely. "Space ship, or... well...  _pirate_  ship?"

"Although seafaring  _is_  thrilling... it was a space ship." He chuckled to himself. "That were fun times. Had some great battles aboard and ohhh, you should have seen all the treasure!"

She could imagine it all too well and indulged in some daydreams about having her own ship for a while. They wandered through the forest for what felt like an hour, past the strangely shaped trees and here and there big boulders and other interesting looking formations of stone, or maybe the shell of the creature. It truly was an extraordinary place and Roka was so engulfed in it that she didn't even notice that the Master got quieter by the minute.

Until she almost ran into him as he abruptly stopped dead in his tracks and looked around as if he had awoken from a dream all of a sudden.

"Lost?" Roka raised an eyebrow.

He looked around, then shook his head, before he turned towards her. And his eyes filled with terror, flickering as if it was hard for him to control their movements. With a groan he pressed a hand against his head, before he stared at Roka once more.

"No... that's not... good," he pressed out. "You... stay here. Don't move. Not an inch!" Roka took a surprised step back at his panicking voice. "Wait... hours. A day." And with that he sped away from her with wide steps.

"Wh... what the hell is wrong?!" Roka hurried to catch up.

"Don't come after me!" he shouted at her and spun around, pinning her against the nearest tree. Then his fingers were at her temple. "Sleep."

And her world got dark.

It was only due to the wildlife, that wasn't used to predators, that she awoke not too much later. Something hopped around on her and she could make out an animal that vaguely resembled a squirrel, before it scurried away. Slightly confused she sat up, before the memory slowly came back to her.

"Great," she murmured frustrated. "What was  _that_? And how the hell am I supposed to find back!?" she called into the forest. But nothing answered. Of course.

Still a bit dizzy she got up and brushed off the dirt from her clothes, while her eyes searched the ground for tracks. At least he had left a rather visible swath in the grass that she could follow. But she would have to hurry. It was almost pitch black already and even though the planet had two moons they didn't gave off too much light. Eyes fixated on the ground she followed the trail, hoping to get an explanation for that odd behavior. How far did he go anyway?

After what felt like an eternity the trees suddenly stopped at a small clearing. The light of the moon shone unhindered at the grass below, tinting it blue and purple. And finally, there at the edge of the clearing sat the Master. Completely motionless and staring up to the moon.

Roka sighed in relieve and slowed down as she got closer. Something was off. He must have heard her already, but still he didn't move a muscle. Only when she was really close did his head suddenly snap towards her in an unnatural movement, his eyes emotionless, and, apart from the occasional flickering, completely lifeless. Then he sprang up, pressing his back against the tree and observing every of her movements. Like a hunter. Roka didn't like this. Something was very, very wrong here.

His face split into a grin and suddenly he started to giggle, although the sound was bare of any emotion. He shook his head and pressed his hands against it, clenching his teeth as if in pain. Roka hurried towards him, but as soon as she was close enough he clutched her wrist so hard it made her yelp.

"Make... them... stop!" he begged and grinned again. "You don't hear them, right? Why can't you... do you?"

"N... no. I don't hear anything." Was he talking about the drums?

He laughed, although it sounded almost like a cry, and his voice was higher than usual. "I can make you hear... make you... want to? No, no no no. You don't want to..."

Finally he let go and Roka rubbed her hurting wrist. Out of the corner of her eye she saw something blinking and when she looked back up he held a small knife in one hand. But before she could gather a clear though he literally jumped at her, pinning her to the ground at her shoulder with one hand. The impact made her see stars and for a few moments she had to fight to stay conscious, only to feel the knife at her throat and to see another manic grin splitting his mouth.

"I'll cut a hole into your head," the Master announced. "Maybe then you can hear."

"I... I do! I hear them!" It was the only thing that came to her mind. He clearly wasn't at his senses right now, so logic wouldn't help anything.

"Liar." He leaned down to her and lightly leaned his forehead against hers. "Nothing, right? Why... why can't you? It's so loud!" He receded and for a few seconds stared at the moons as if those could give an answer.

Frantically she tried to come up with an idea, but before any could form he pressed the blade further against her throat and giggled again.

"Still not scared, little human?" The grin got wider and he amplified the pressure to her throat until a sharp pain made her gasp. Roka felt warm blood running down her neck and into her collar. If she wouldn't manage to stop him... he would kill her.

The thought was cold and observant. It didn't scare her, at least not consciously. But if she would die now... No, she didn't want to vanish from existence. She didn't want to be forgotten. If only... if only she could stay for a little longer. Even though it made no sense. Her hands shot up and grabbed his jacket to drag him down to her.

"No, I'm not scared," she said to his fading grin. "And if you want to kill me... at least have the decency to do it while you're sane!"

A second like an eternity passed in which he only stared at her baffled. Finally she let go of him again and he rolled to the site, curled to a ball and laughed, or maybe cried. It was hard to tell. His hands clutched his head again, and he murmured unintelligible words to himself.

Roka crawled away and took some deep breaths, while touching the cut on her throat. It wasn't deep, only bleeding badly as wounds there tend to do. Nothing dangerous though. Careful not to make too much noise she got up and walked backwards and away from the Master.

* * *

Not much later she came back, loaded with some stray wood she had gathered here and there. It had gotten cold and she knew  _her_  body wouldn't endure those temperatures for long. They weren't deadly, but horribly unpleasant. And she really wanted to stay fully conscious around the Master, as long as he was like that.

There also was no way she would leave him alone. Dangerous as it might be, but it just felt wrong to run away. He was sitting at some tree again, numbly staring into the sky. The moonlight illuminated the knife, that was now lying on the ground in front of him. She could really use it to start the fire, since there had been nothing like firestones around.

Slow and with careful steps she approached it and crouched down to pick it up, her eyes locked on the Master. What was happening to him, she wondered worried. When she reached out for the knife his hand snapped towards her wrist and clutched it painfully tight.

"I'm not going to use that on you!" she brought out between clenched teeth.

Gosh, he was strong. And very obviously not the slightest bothered about it right now. His other hand grabbed her collar and he got up, taking her with him.

"Liar," he mumbled. "You said, you would help..."

"I never..."

"Oh, you always do. Always so ready to help, always promising! But they are still there." Both of his hands grabbed her collar now and he pulled her closer, glaring down at her. "Do for once what you promised and  _help_ , Doctor!"

"I'm not..." Roka's eyes widened and she understood. He wasn't even recognizing her right now. There was no use in reasoning, so she lowered her head and quietly said, "I'm sorry. I can't do anything."

"No... no... of course not. You never can."

"You never told me how!" She looked up, hoping he would give some hint at least. "What's happening to you?"

But he only let her go, leaned back and stared at the stars again. Roka grabbed his jacket and tore at him. "Dammit, talk to me!"

He didn't budge or react in any way and Roka stepped away from him, pondering intensely about what to do. This state had to be triggered by the drums, no doubt about that. And he had known it would happen, or otherwise he wouldn't have warned and knocked her out. She raised her head and stared at him for a moment.

"You..." But then she shook her head. Of course he tried to keep her safe. Stupid paradox. She let out a deep sigh and threw an angry look at him. "You couldn't have told me that something like that can happen? Maybe I could have helped." Angrily she folded her arms and started walking up and down to keep herself at least a little warm. "But no... you're the oh so mighty Master. You can't let anyone know you have weak spots." She kicked some dirt away.

The Master followed her pacing with his eyes. Those eyes that always were like a mirror of the stars... and now it was as if no light could reach them anymore. Roka gulped and looked away, feeling miserable, because she had no idea how to help him. And she  _wanted_  to help. It was unbearable to see him like that, silently suffering so much that it just wiped away his sense. She knew, for something like that to happen he had to endure unbelievable pain. And she could see it in the way his eyes flickered from time to time, as if those drums were ripping him apart from the inside.

She gulped and stepped back to him. "Just tell me what to do."

He looked at her, without any emotion on his face, without moving an inch.

"Geeze it's like talking to myself." She poked his chest, harder than necessary.

No reaction.

Frustrated she dropped her head against him.

"It's cold," he suddenly mumbled.

Roka looked up, a bit perplex. Those weren't temperatures a Time Lord would even consider chilly. Maybe his perception was distorted... But yeah, he was right. It was incredibly cold. And it wasn't only the temperature. It was as if her very soul was frozen.

Only now did it dawn on her how worried she actually was about him and she bit her lip. He still was a horrible and utterly bad person. He didn't deserve to be worried about, not even for a second. Whatever pain and suffering he went through right now,  _this_  was what he deserved...

Tears of frustration sprang to her eyes. It wasn't right. Not the least. As much as she tried to, she couldn't hate him, she couldn't stop worrying, she didn't want him to have to suffer like that.

"You're not fair," she mumbled frustrated and dropped her head against his chest once more. "There can't be a worse person out there... why do I want to be near you?"

It was no use, she wouldn't get an answer. And it was so, so cold. All her life there had been nothing but this. An empty, icy void inside her. But the past months... they had almost made her forget about it.

She stepped a little closer and slid her arms around him, feeling him wince at her touch, but not react further.

It was wrong. Every fiber of her existence rebelled against it. He didn't care about the damage he left behind, about the wars he started and the countless people that got hurt. He was a murderer!

But... so was she.

Roka let out a shaky breath and clutched him tighter. "Wherever you are... come back," she mumbled desperately.

His hearts were beating unnaturally fast as if he were under tremendous stress, and no matter how much time passed, he didn't move the slightest. Neither did Roka. She just kept listening until her mind went into a trance like state. Not asleep, but far from awake.

Eventually the Master shifted slightly and it seemed as if he was looking around.

"Seriously?" he mumbled and then chuckled lightly. "Just abusing the situation to hug me... that's not very nice."

Roka's head snapped up and she looked into tired, but amused eyes. No longer bare of any life or light, and relieve flooded her, then shock, as she realized that she still held him. Hastily she wanted to step away, but suddenly there were arms around herself, holding her firm and not letting her move.

"Stay..." the Master murmured tiredly, closing his eyes. "Just a bit longer."

Nothing he would have to ask for twice, so she allowed herself to ignore the stupid voice inside her head. Who cared if it was wrong after all. It didn't matter. And he held her so tight... the cold inside her simply vanished. She put her head back down and now his heartbeat was steady and slow. What a soothing noise, albeit so foreign.

"I bet I finally scared you a little," The Master eventually mused.

"You did." Roka glanced up. "I... had no idea if you would ever come back."

For a second there was only confusion on his face, but then he laughed and shook his head. "Wrong reason... again. Be scared for yourself for once." The glint in his eyes vanished when they fell onto her blood soaked collar, and he frowned, carefully stroking a thumb over the wound. "That was my doing, right?"

So he didn't remember anything. Not a big surprise.

"It's nothing." Roka shook her head. "Doesn't even bleed anymore."

"You're so awfully stupid." He furrowed his brows at her. "Never can you do what you're told." With a sigh he leaned back, still without letting her go. "It's not safe to be around me. You should have known. Never will be." He glared at the sky. "And it starts to happen way more often than it used to."

"So what?" she gave back a little irritated. "As if it would bother you to hurt anyone. Why does it matter?"

Something weird crossed his face, like a faint, painful memory. He closed his eyes and slightly shook his head as if to get rid of it. "Because I'm a liar," he mumbled. "It's one thing to  _decide_  to do harm. But another to... wake up from something like that, finding your hands drenched in the blood of someone..." He gulped and never ended the sentence. "I never wanted this. I don't want it to happen again. And I do... some of those lives I  _do_  regret."

Roka put her head back down and buried her face in his shirt. What a confession. It made her wonder what might have happened. But somehow it also made no sense...

"Then why do you want to end mine so badly?" she mumbled.

A hand ruffled her hair and the Master chuckled to himself. "Think a little. You know what happens when you dissolve a paradox. It's like a storm rushing through time and space, washing away all changes. But..." He put his hand under her chin to make her look at him. "Stand in the eye of the storm and you won't be affected. You will be able to remember." A warm smile wandered into his eyes. "And I  _want_  to remember you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  [>> Full sized image <<](http://fav.me/dczhz9v)  
>  Also, have a space pirate Master. (It was so much fun to draw. xD)  
>  Requested by [leelee202](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leelee202). (Check her out! She has some amazing DW stories <3 )  
> 


	25. Lucid memories

It took Roka a moment to realize what he had just said, but before it could fully reach her brain the Master already shoved her to the side and took a look around. What did he want to remember her for? Surely not out of sympathy... although she had never before seen such a warm and honest smile on his face. Or had it just been a trick of the moonlight?

All she knew for certain was that it was horribly cold, and now that he had moved away she felt it gnawing on her relentlessly. She huddled herself deeper into her jacket and waited for the Master to finish his inspection of their surroundings. When he turned back to her, he raised both eyebrows.

"Mhm... the TARDIS is a rough two hour walk away," he stated, observing Roka. "And it will get a lot colder than that soon..."

She rubbed her arms and shrugged, smiling sarcastically. "Humans don't die  _that_  easily. But..." she looked around and picked up the knife from the ground. "I can make a fire. How long are nights here?"

"From this moment on... roughly three to four hours. Depending in which direction that thing here is swimming." He slightly stomped the ground.

Roka went to the pile of wood she had gathered earlier and prepared a fireplace, before she hit the knife against a stone. Not much later first flames started to greedily lick the wood and grew big enough to spread some pleasant warmth. She held out her hands to warm them up.

The Master sat next to her and sunk together. He looked exhausted and probably also not very eager to walk a long distance right now.

"You don't happen to carry anything edible with you?" she asked hopefully. But he only shook his head and continued to stare at the flames. "Well... the critters here aren't very shy... maybe I can catch some," she mused and got up to look around.

It wasn't hard to find something. There were creatures that looked like bunnies, but without visible ears. And they were peacefully sleeping next to some mushrooms. Some of  _those_  would be great too, but she wasn't in the mood to test her luck with them.

"Hold that. They struggle too much." She pushed one of the animals into the Master's hands.

He stared at it with a questioning look and then at Roka as she, swiftly and with a skilled move, stopped the struggling once and for all. The second rabbit landed motionless next to her.

"No qualms?" The Master eyed her curiously.

Roka shrugged and started to skin and gut the animals. "Doesn't help much with hunger. Hmm, interesting... seems like they don't have much blood. Weird creatures..."

"You did that before," he stated. "And not only once. Obviously."

She chuckled as she cut down some flesh and poked it onto sticks. "You missed a few parts when you were scrambling through my past. I lived a bit...  _feral_  for a while." Not long and the meat was emitting a nice smell. "Wanted to stay away from people."

"What for? They can't see you anyway." He leaned forward and grabbed one of the sticks, gulping down everything although it was still almost raw.

Roka gave him no answer. She only wrinkled her nose in disgust and rather waited, cleaning her hands in the grass. After a while the Master reached inside his jacket and got out two small water bottles of which he threw one in her direction. At least he knew  _something_  about basic survival, she thought smirking.

Time passed and the sticks got less and less.

"They don't taste too bad." Roka decided. "Better than squirrels."

"Tzz... be glad you never had to eat cachgrain. That's some nasty stuff. Tastes rotted, even if freshly butchered. But the Gholpiros love it. Bah!"

After that silence spread, only interrupted by the crackling of the fire and the noises of the forest. Foreign and still familiar sounds to Roka. Occasionally she threw more wood into the flames, but it really got a lot colder and soon she started to freeze again, clutching her knees and making herself as small as possible to keep her body temperature stable.

Tiredness overcame her, now that all tension had fallen off of her and she had halfway nodded away when she suddenly got pulled back. Something had grabbed her around her waist and dragged her, then she felt something warm at her back and arms around her. Perplex she looked up and into a grinning face.

"Gotcha!" the Master announced happily and put his chin onto her head.

It felt like her heart stopped for a second, maybe it really did, but then she relaxed and snuggled herself closer.

"You're weird," the Master mumbled on her head. "Shouldn't you try to get away?"

"Not ever." Roka sighed contently, not giving a damn anymore about right or wrong.

"Well... better for me then." He lifted his head and chuckled. "Makes it easier to look at the rest of your memories."

_Now_  she tried to get away. But his grip on her was too tight and all struggle was in vain.

"I need some distraction. And I think... Living in the wilds, avoiding people. You have a secret, I can smell it."

"That's just your stinking ego!" Roka protested, but finally gave up. "It's none of your damn busyness."

"I still want to know." He snickered and waited until she held still. "But I'll put you to sleep anyway... as a precaution, so you can't do stupid stuff on me."

"Ugh, never again. Once in your head was really enough" Roka pouted, before she made herself comfortable once more. It was warm and if that was the price to be able to stay like this for a while...

"I was more thinking about putting you into your  _own_  head." He sounded as if he was grinning widely. "Ever had a lucid dream?"

"No. I tried, but it never worked." This made her curious though and she looked up. "Can you do that?"

"Mhm..." he grinned wider. "Sounds like fun, right?"

"Not if we have to run around in my memories," she countered sourly.

But the Master didn't hesitate and shortly after she felt fingers at her temples and once more her world faded into inky darkness. This time not for long. Colors and smells and images rushed by and suddenly she had to press her hands against her ears as a cacophony of sounds suddenly rained down on her. The traffic on the streets, laughing and screaming children, people chatting, phones ringing, wind rustling through trees. All of it at once and unfiltered. And when she opened her eyes there was exactly that around her. The park from the town she had grown up in, clad in fresh and brimming vernal colors. Even the tempting smell from the nearby snack stall filled the air.

There  _'she'_  stood, eying a man who watched something nearby, only to steal away his food. Then she ran to the park, a smile on her lips.

"Aaaaw, that was mean," an amused voice behind her said.

Roka spun around, seeing the Master, and it made her remember. It was only a dream. Scenes blurring in and out, impressions hitting her, one after the other, making her even hold out a hand to stroke the bark of a nearby tree, only to touch nothing.

Perplex she stared at her hand. "This is weird." Her gaze wandered up to the Master's smiling face. "So real and at the same time... not. That's... amazing!" Excitement spread inside her. "I mean... it's in my  _head_. All of this! And so detailed!"

"Calm down." He laughed. "I make sure you don't wake yourself up, but the more excited you get, the harder it is."

She nodded and took a few deep breaths. Weird how she had to do this in here, although she wasn't even a physical entity. Another, not so pleasant, feeling made her squint her eyes. A light tingling sensation right in the middle of her scalp. And suddenly they were at the house of her childhood again. This time she wasn't a child though.

The funeral of her father when she was ten, she hiding in the background, silently crying into the stuffed fox he had once gifted her. The only thing that was still hers.

She saw herself coming in and out of the house whenever she wanted, growing older, always carrying some books with her.

Her reading bedtime stories to her little brother, making her wonder if he ever realized that she wasn't just an imaginary friend.

More images passed by, so fast it was hard for her to follow. Nothing really exciting happened until the day she turned eighteen. The scenes slowed down. Whatever the Master did with her mind, he obviously could sense if things were in any way important to her or not.

She let out a deep sigh and watched her younger self slipping out of the house and, for the last time, closing its door behind her.

"What were you doing?" the Master asked, revealing that he wasn't in full control of this.

"One day I just left," she explained the scene. "The glitch got worse and eventually they didn't remember me at all... and if they did... well, it was hard to explain every time what I had done for the past weeks or months." Roka let out a dry laugh.

The tingling in her head was back and a moment later they followed her dream self strolling through the nearby city. That actually made her smile and even giggle, when she saw herself steeling new clothes, some outdoor equipment and food.

"Being a glitch has to have  _some_  benefits." She grinned. "Although I did get caught once or twice." The scene changed to the interior of a police station, where she was brought in. The police man talked to another one, probably explaining the situation, when he suddenly stopped and scratched his head, as if he couldn't remember what he had wanted to say. Both looked confused at each other and behind them Roka slipped out of the building again.

"That's cheating!" the Master called out.

"Yeeeah, I know." She giggled. "It was fun."

"Wait... so you lived on the streets?" He tilted his head, giving her a curious look. "You must be the only person to do that on purpose."

Roka shrugged. "I had no money. And I guess it's obvious that no one hires a person they keep forgetting. Which left me with two options... staying with my mother for the rest of my life, or..."

She took a deep breath and tried if she could manipulate the scenes herself. It worked and countless images of a whole year flew by, showing her enjoying the summer in the park with stolen books, her playing pranks on clueless people, her collecting leaves in autumn and also her using stolen ice skaters on the frozen river in winter.

The world was hers and hers alone.

"Freedom," she mumbled. "Not giving a damn about right or wrong, about consequences or anything else."

Carefully she peeked up and saw the Master smiling to himself and giving her a knowing look. "So that's why you wanted to come with me."

A smile whizzed over her face. The years with the Doctor had taught her morality and how important it could be to do the right thing. But in the end...

"Well... that's it." She shrugged and watched herself ice skating. "A happy life and one day I ran into the Doctor. See? No secrets."

Suddenly he tightly grabbed her head with one hand, his fingers pressing painfully against her skull, while the tingling sensation got almost overwhelming.

"Stop! Alright!" she yelled at the pain, but at the same time wondered why she could even feel it, since she was just a dream.

The Master released her without a word, but with a nasty smile on his face. Roka gave him a mean look, but brought up some new scenes. As long as she controlled them, she might be able to skip a few. If they didn't felt too important he probably wouldn't even notice.

"There are always two sites to life," she mumbled, while the dream showed herself stealing blankets. "The surface, where everyone has their normal job, car, apartment and family... And then there is the shadows..." Her dream self handed the blankets and cans with food to a bunch of homeless people. They made wide eyes and thanked her exuberantly. One skinny woman even hugged her.

"Oh my, you're such a disgustingly good person," the Master snickered.

"No, I'm not." Roka turned away, as more scenes unfolded.

She had tried to be though. Had thought with her invisibility she might make a difference where others couldn't. The shadows. The places where things suddenly take on such dark tones that it is hard to believe that one was still in the same city. And suddenly one is surrounded by a hell of drugs and prostitution, organized burglary and even murder. It was like flicking a light switch.

There she was, lingering at the edges of the light, eavesdropping on gangs to sabotage their operations. Waiting in alleyways to throw big stones at rapists and drug dealers. That had been a new, dark kind of fun, although she knew it wouldn't help much. These kinds of people never fully vanish.

And then one night she threw a stone a little bit too hard and it hit in a bad angle. The guy was dead immediately and his victim, a homeless looking girl roughly Roka's own age, shocked and screaming in terror. Roka had ran over to her to calm her down, to take her away from the guy and bring her somewhere safe.

They became friends. It was hard work to stay visible around her. Roka even build a gadget that emitted a sound and trained the girl to associate her with it. That way she only had to remotely trigger it and they could interact with each other almost normally.

Since then Roka stayed away from the shadows and took care of the girl, showed her how much fun a free and wild life like hers could be. Just sitting there, reading in the sun, watching the stars at night or the sundown over the river, while everyone else was busy with their hectic lives.

"So... she was your girlfriend then?" the Master suddenly asked.

Roka's heart dropped and the scenes vanished. She had completely forgotten about him, having been fully indulged in those memories.

"I... uhm..."

He leaned down to her with a chuckle. "I've never seen you blush before."

She trod back and shook her head. "No... no, it wasn't... like that. We didn't... I mean, we never..." Stopping herself from making it worse she turned her head away. "And even  _if_ , that's so none of your business!" she snapped at the Master, poking his chest.

He laughed even louder and ruffled her hair. "Calm down, I won't look."

"There isn't even anything to look at!" She crossed her arms. "And if you weren't such a... a... I can't even find a word that's mean enough! No one should be able to look so closely at another one's memories. It's just not fair!"

"Never said it would be. Although I'm surprised you sneaked around in such dark places. Doesn't really suit you."

"Probably better than you think," Roka mumbled. "Can we leave now?"

"You're so eager to get away." He grinned down to her. "I want to know why. But..." the grin faded slowly. "It's not necessary that you stay. If you don't want to."

She thought about it for a moment. Those weren't memories she wanted to relive... and none she was proud of. But the thought of having the Master wander around in here without her was even worse, so she shook her head and tried to bring up the next scenes. It was harder than she had anticipated and the images were distorted, like a glitched video file.

A hand was suddenly on her shoulder, warm and reassuring. Roka looked up and their eyes met for a moment. He nodded. He was there, and that thought alone calmed her down. Everyone but him would judge and push her away for what she had done. But compared to his life, hers was nothing but an interlude.

She took some deep breaths and also felt a light tingling again, before the images stabilized.

They had been together for a few months when Roka one day found the door to their makeshift shelter splintered open.

Shocked she ran inside, only to find her friend on the ground. Above her stood a man, a brick in his hands and a proud smirk on his lips as he watched the puddle of blood slowly forming under the girl's head. His hoody wore the symbol of a local gang Roka knew too well. The girl must have had something to do with them at one point.

But right now... right now Roka couldn't think about that. Her world turned dark all of a sudden, and all that was left was an all consuming rage as she jumped at the man and...

The real Roka turned her head away and closed her eyes, but it didn't help. The sound of cracking bones reverberated through the room.  _That_  had been an accident. Everything she did to him afterwards... hadn't. She had made sure to find out why he had been here and who had been involved in this beside him.

 And after that... she had hunted them down. One by one, laid out traps and staged accidents.

By now she was shaking. There had been so much hate and rage inside her back then. At one point she had even contemplated getting rid of more than just those few. It would have been so easy. There had been nothing and no one to stop her.

And then there was laughter behind her. Loud and extensive. She looked up and remembered the Master, who obviously was more than amused about this. Finally he grinned at her.

"And I always thought you were such an innocent thing." He cupped her chin and his grin got wider. "Wondered how someone like that can be around me, see what I do... and not say a word. Not judge."

She peered away as good as possible. "I told you... I have no right to do so."

"Tell me..." He firmly grabbed her wrists and almost hungrily glared at her. "What is it you fear, my little ghost? To become a monster like me? Or is it..." He leaned to her ear and almost whispered, "that you enjoyed the rush of feeling a life ending in your own hands." She jerked away and tried to free herself from his grip, but he held tight, his grin wide and satisfied. "How did it feel?"

"Horrible!" Roka exclaimed, but it didn't need his sarcastic glint to make her tell the truth, making her stop struggling. "Way too good," she admitted, horrified of herself all of a sudden. "It's so... so much power. I... I almost couldn't stop, once started... That's why I bolted out of there. Avoided people at all cost for the next few years."

Finally he let go of her again and sped up her memories once more, showing her stealing some high quality outdoor equipment and leaving. Her way led her through many parts of Europe, before she eventually came back to Britain, until she traveled to the Scottish highlands, to the cliffs at the sea. There was nothing left for her, nowhere to go, nowhere to return to.

He watched her walking out to the edge, sitting there, awaiting the sunset, before...

"Why should I fear death?" she asked calmly. "Tell me, Master. Just a single reason." When she looked at him, there was no expression on his face. The amusement had gone and it looked as if he really was thinking about an answer.

A loud bang reverberated through the air and a blue police box rushed above dream-Roka's head. Just in time to keep her from taking this one step. Perplex she had looked up, had fell onto her bum and crawled backwards, away from the depths and the crashing waves below. Her head turned into the direction of the crash. Smoke came up from the trees.

And she ran.

"Because of all the things you would have missed otherwise," the Master suddenly said. "Writing the ending to your own story is never satisfying." He leaned an arm onto her head, while watching the memory. "It's a lot more rewarding to let others do it."

Roka snorted. "That's an odd reason for killing people."

"Oh, I don't need a reason." He chuckled and knocked on her head. "I'm simply a bad person."

Hastily she moved away and shook her head. "No one is  _born_  evil. Even you must have something that drives you. Besides..." she smiled and poked him. "There might not be a  _good_  person hiding in there, but I've seen evil already... and you're not."

"Oi! Don't insult me, shrimp!" His grin dropped and he grabbed her collar, pulling her against him. "The devil himself couldn't be more evil."

"So? I heard even he has a heart." She sarcastically smiled up.

"Hm... then you heard wrong." He slowly leaned closer down to her face, way too close, whispering into her ear, "It's two." It sent a shiver down her whole body and for another moment the Master just stared into her eyes, hovering only inches above her. Roka's heart suddenly beat so fast, it almost hurt. No, it didn't bother her, who he was, as long as she could stare into those depths, see the stars reflecting inside them and... maybe... just maybe... if only her heart wouldn't race that much, making everything around her blurry and...

...her eyes flung open, revealing autumn colored trees and a fire in front of her. It took a few seconds before Roka realized to be awake again. And another, way longer, while to calm down her racing heartbeat. Confused she blinked at the flames and tried to recall the last moments from the dream. What had woken her up?

She couldn't remember.


	26. Countdown

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"Huh, what happened?" Roka asked confused.

"I probably woke you up," the Master pondered. "Hard to say. Remembering the last minute is always almost impossible." Then he shrugged and leaned back, folding his hands behind his head with a yawn and, obviously, leaving it to Roka to move away or stay there.

But it was hard to move at all, now that all those past memories had been dug up again. She felt the weight of them pressing down on her. So all she did was pulling her legs closer and burying her face in her arms, suddenly shaking. All those years she had done her best to forget about all this, to pretend it never happened.

But it had. There was no running away from it anymore.

"It's really a pity," the Master mused from behind. "All you did was killing a few _bad_ guys. Getting rid of them likely _helped_ people... You can't even be _properly_ evil." He then leaned forward and wrapped an arm around her throat, pulling her back at him again. "So stop whining already."

"But... what if I hadn't stopped there?" She stared up and saw the answer in his amused glimmering eyes, and lowered her head again. Her chin dropped on his arm that was still around her throat, but not very firm. It didn't bother her much and for some time she just stared into the flames.

Would she really have become like him? None of her actions would ever have had consequences for herself. This... power... it was scarier than anything she ever experienced before and also after.

"Where there is light a shadow follows," the Master murmured suddenly and his voice was deep. "And in the blackened night we see, where sunlight only blinds the eye." His other arm wrapped around her shoulders. "If you want only stories, then move towards the warming fire, but if what you seek is truth... your way leads further into the darkness ahead."

With a sigh she sunk against him and closed her eyes. "I know... That's the path I took and the name I chose. Roka means crow in old Swedish. The bird that roams the blood stained battlefields. The bird of night and shadows." She felt him chuckle silently and smiled herself.

And then it stopped bothering her altogether. Her past, her future, all she had and could have done. The only thing that mattered was the steady, soothing, doubled heartbeat at her back, the arms around and the bone-numbing weariness inside her. It overtook her consciousness, making her head foggy and her thoughts slow.

"Can I... stay for a while?" she asked sleepily.

He hummed confirming, sounding as tired as she felt. And it was all it took to let her fall into the darkness of her mind again. This time not dreaming at all.

* * *

After that incident things changed and also didn't. It was as if there had been an invisible wall between them all the time, and now, all of a sudden, it was just gone. Leaving a weirdly casual and subtle familiarity behind.

It wasn't as if the Master suddenly would be any friendlier to her and a few days prior she would have cursed at him for ignoring her personal space even more than before. Now though it didn't bother her when he used her head as an arm's rest, or when he sat unnecessarily close to her, or when he propped up an arm onto her shoulder, casually chatting about how he had stolen half the population of the planet they were on right now.

It especially didn't bother her, when they had to await the end of a sudden storm in a city filled with neon lights. While people rushed buy under umbrellas they hid under the small roof of a closed down store. Without a warning he had grabbed and pulled her back at him and then wrapped his jacket around them both, until the storm was over. And maybe a little bit longer than that.

Roka also wasn't bothered at all by the fact that they traveled again, despite the calculation still not being finished. But as they had come back from the turtle the Master had stared at the console for a good while, then shaken his head.

"That can wait..." he had mumbled, before throwing an indefinable look at Roka.

At that moment she had been able to take a short glance at the monitor and saw the same repeating hologram of her vanishing particles as the day they had begun this journey. Endless lines of code were running down, numbers blinking and Gallifreyan symbols flashing here and there.

"You're still researching it?" she asked surprised.

"Sure...  Have enough data of you to turn you into an android if I want to." He chuckled. "Well... don't have any tech here to transfer your consciousness. And it wouldn't help with the glitch."

"Why... is that still important?"

"No glitch, no paradox. Easy as that." He winked, but then stared back at the monitor, before he shut it off. "But it's no use. There is no way to fix you."

Roka gulped. So he had been trying to find a solution to this all the time, while she was just whining about everything. And it seemed as if he still was, although he refused to tell her what this new calculation was about.

But if there was no fix...

And then he had demanded her life. Although, when she thought about it more thoroughly, it probably wasn't about that. Not her life was of value, but the moment her timeline would reset. And he was in control of that moment now, practically enabling him to play with all of time and space to his liking. And if something went wrong... he only had to kill her. She was a living reset button, whilst he would retain the memories of his _tests_.

Roka also had the suspicion that he was planning something big. Their travels were different now. At first it had felt like one big sightseeing tour, even though each visit seemed to have a secondary purpose. But now they exclusively visited places where the Master had hidden all sorts of things over his life span. Stashes, filled with tech, minerals, plants, documents and other things. Everywhere they went he took a small tablet with him, noting down the containments of each stash.

There also always was at least one story about how he had obtained those things. Some of them hilariously funny, others intriguing, others brutal and cruel. Some could have filled entire novels, whilst some were barely more than a few sentences.

Once he had been emperor of a whole galaxy, until he got bored of all the bootlickers and especially the whole administrative workload. One night he simply slipped into his TARDIS and ran away, never to return. The galaxy itself, at least on paper, was still in his possession though.

Another time he had formed an alliance with a group of mercenaries and they had been fulfilling contracts in the Zenphirion nebulae. But working with men like these always ended the same way. The group split eventually and one night there were silent steps and slit throats. And if it weren't for the fact that the Master barely needed sleep he probably wouldn't have survived it either. Instead he was the only one left when the sun rose above the abandoned camp.

He had been fighting in as equally many wars as he had started himself. Mostly not as a soldier though. If the species reacted to his mind control, he acted as a spy, otherwise as inventor, giving the side he chose at random an unfair benefit.

Roka found a pattern to those stories, and with that probably the second reason the Master wanted to remember her. The thought came surprisingly and like a flash, when they were visiting the overgrown ruins of a long forlorn and crumbling city. The buildings must have been majestic once, but now most were knocked over as if by playful giants, leaning at each other. The reverberating, low moaning of metal filled the air, only broken by the sound of heavy concrete debris crashing down from unimaginable heights. The whole place was beautiful in its own way, but wore a feeling of utter loneliness. It was so thick Roka had to clench her stomach.

And then she understood as she watched the Master, glaring at the scenery, lost in his own thoughts. He was fitting into this environment as if he were part of it.

Betrayed, used, left behind and forgotten. By seemingly everyone he ever crossed paths with. And surprisingly often not even due to his own doings. By the few snippets Roka had gathered it had also been the same with the few companions he had ever accepted... trusted.

Knowing about all of this and seeing him standing in that scene, Roka suddenly knew that he must be the loneliest man in the universe. Although he probably would never admit or even recognize it, pushing the mere existence of this thought as far away from himself as possible.

Roka on the other hand was using him too in some way, but not in a bad one. And she refused to treat him like the evil man or the monster or whatever he tried to be. She simply was there, not judging and not trying to change anything.

If only she could stay. But if there really was no way to fix her... she would vanish. And by taking her life he would at least keep the memory of a time where he hadn't been alone, hadn't been treated badly. A silent and subtle companionship in his world of lonely madness.

And loneliness was a thing she understood all too well. So Roka decided to at least be a worthy memory, carried through time and space. If the Master stayed as stubborn as he was maybe to the end of all existence. The last living thing left to watch, accompanied by the fading memory of a girl that never was.

Like a ghost.

* * *

As they stepped out of the TARDIS this morning Roka found herself facing the gigantic wrack of a crashed freighter. The debris was strewn all over a field of blue grass and were so big, that the two travelers were mere ants in comparison. Sudden excitement flooded Roka at the thought of exploring the wrack for hours.

"Wait a second," the Master held her back, knowing all too well that she was about to just blindly run off. He gave her a small wrist watch that had a navigation system and a map of the ship implemented. "Just in case we get separated. And looking at you that will happen more soon than late." He chuckled. "Stay away from section 3004. That part is completely unstable. But I guess the rest should be relatively safe."

"Aye, aye," she saluted mockingly and grinned. "No dangerous actions. I know the drill."

They entered the freighter through a big crack in its hull and made their way past several meters of cables and armor until they reached the blackness of the inside. A click resounded next to her and then a blue light illuminated the debris around. The Master handed her a flashlight and they headed towards the cargo area. It would take him probably at least a day to note down everything he needed, so there would be more than enough time to explore.

"Damn, this place is creepy." Roka chuckled and shone her flashlight into the shadowy corners. "Why has it crashed?"

"No idea. Go and find the captains log if you want to know. If the sector is still intact it should be somewhere around the front area."

Roka had no idea how much time she spent exactly exploring. Time was such a weird thing when there was fun involved. And, as spooky as the interior was, with all the creaking and moaning of the wrack, she wasn't really afraid of the shadows. Her detector showed no signs of life or any other electromagnetic fields. She had build it months ago in the hopes of maybe finding something paranormal somewhere. The universe was big and full of possibilities after all. Even though the Master had only laughed at that, telling her that he had never encountered anything like that so far. But having grown up with horror movies and creepy pastas she couldn't keep herself from at least trying.

Every now and then her communicator beeped and she confirmed her wellbeing and transmitted her current coordinates. It was a routine they had developed and was also useful in case she found something interesting that was too big for her to take along.

Her exploring found a rather abrupt ending some hours later when she found the freighter had been broken in half, making the crack impossible to traverse from the inside. So she turned around and took a different route back, past a stash with giant working robots that could have been directly out of some anime. She transmitted the location of those and continued to some living quarters. The wreck had made the impression of being quite old, so she hoped the only remains of its crew were long decayed to skeletons. Finding fresh or still rotting corpses in a place of complete darkness was always... unpleasant. And as much as she tried to convince herself it was only her imagination, she couldn't help but feeling observed and sometimes even followed, when she found such.

Shaking her head Roka moved past the cabins. Some skeletons were lying in an area that could have once been a kitchen of some sorts. They looked humanoid, but probably used to have tails. Their uniforms had no pockets and their quarters also didn't contain anything interesting, so she continued her way back, now realizing though that the Master hadn't contacted her, even though it was about time. Meaning he either had gotten himself into trouble (unlikely in here), or he was too occupied with cataloguing (very likely), or...

She hurried the rest of the way. It wasn't far anymore and when she reached the crack through which they had entered she found the Master, silently sitting on the floor, his flashlight pointing away from him. It wasn't as bad as on the turtle, but the noise in his head also didn't seem to be very pleasant right now as he had his head buried under his arms. He heard her coming and looked up. Roka immediately saw the light twitch in his eyes and hurried towards him.

"It's alright," he murmured and pulled himself up on a crate.

"Doesn't look much like it." She leaned next to him at the same crate and dropped her head at his side. "Care to finally tell me what's that all about?"

To her surprise he really did. Maybe only to distract him from the noise. He told her of the initiation, how they were taken away at a young age to stare into the untempered schism, leaving some with a new fire, some with fear and some... some couldn't bare it and simply went mad.

"It was barely there at first... like a ringing in your ears you don't know if it's actually there or not," he told. "But it got louder, subtly, slowly. Just annoying and nothing else. And then..." he stopped, contemplating for a while.

Roka had the suspicion that something must have occurred. Maybe a first outburst like the one she had witnessed on the turtle. Whatever it was, he didn't tell her about it.

"When I left Gallifrey it was... back then I thought it couldn't get any worse." He let out a humorless laugh. "I tried to stop it, tried to find something or someone who could. No use. Only thing that helps is to drown it out. Make enough noise on my own. The Time War was great distraction. But... I couldn't stay there. Even living as a human for a while was better than that." He snorted snidely. "It actually helped a little. As if a part of it was locked away inside that Fob Watch. But when it came back... it was so, so much worse than ever before."

"So you went ahead and enslaved my planet," Roka remembered sarcastically.

The Master chuckled meanly and rested an arm on her head.

"Wasn't my fault. If that idiot of Doctor hadn't trapped me there I would have just ran off. But since I was there anyway... can't let a chance slip to see him suffer a little." He chuckled again at the memory.

"Well, it didn't last very long," Roka retorted and pulled her head out.

"Of course not. It was never designed to last forever." He straightened and got out his tablet to continue with the cataloguing. The drums seemed to have gotten quieter again.

"Then why...?"

"Och, you should have seen his devastated face." He grinned widely. "And the people from the end of the universe were doomed anyway. Didn't change much. And... it's fun to play with that pitiful species of yours." He stuck out his tongue at her. "So easy to manipulate."

Roka nudged her elbow into his side, but only earned herself a loud laugh.

"Somehow it's a real shame. I liked my Toclafanes," he reminisced, typing in more data, while wandering around the cargo.

"How long would it have lasted without Martha's interference?"

"Mhmm... hard to say. A paradox machine can't stand forever. It eats up the TARDIS' power after a while. Maybe one or two centuries." He turned around and watched her picking up some random gadget. When she felt his gaze she looked up and met an odd smile. "That's the problem with paradoxes," he mumbled, almost more to himself as he turned away. "You can play with them, trick them, cheat them, break them... but they are never fully yours."

Somehow those words made her feel uneasy. And also made her remember that her time was limited.

"But if those drums continue to get louder..." she wondered, not ending the thought because she had no idea where this would or even _could_ end.

With a deep sigh he scratched his neck and sat on one of the smaller crates, only looking up when Roka trod towards him. A grim smile played around his lips, when he looked up at her.

"Same as with you, I guess. One day I will just vanish. One day..." He looked back down to his feet. "...I won't return. And then there will be nothing left. The end of the Master." He laughed out emotionless. "Just a hull filled with utter insanity."

Roka gulped. "Is there no way to stop it?"

Again he looked up, his look confused as he saw her worried face, then amused. "I'm really the last person you should waste any worries on." He stood up and leaned down a bit towards her with a nasty grin. "I will enjoy it. Will go on a fantastic rampage. I'll burn down everything and everyone around me, leaving nothing behind but ashes and tears." The grin faded slowly and he shrugged. "Until then I keep my mind busy. The only thing that helps more or less."

"What's... the big plan then?" she eventually asked. Some part of her was curious about it, another just no longer wanted to think about his words. It was not fair.

He slipped behind her and held up his tablet so both of them could look at it. Roka leaned back at him and watched the screen as he moved through various lists of text and numbers, maps of galaxies and probably coordinates of all the locations they had been at.

"They say, if you control the underground of a city, you own it." With a finger swipe he brought up a network of star systems. "I bet that's also true for the universe. Although... to my knowledge there isn't an organized universe-wide 'underground'. Only small groups that all fight each other... and not even an intertimed black market, can you imagine?"

"Sounds like you plan to build exactly that." Her eyes were still fixed on the tablet. "Intertimed? You mean reachable from every time?"

"Yup. Will be a bit hard to maintain... but with the TARDIS it shouldn't be that much of a problem."

"And what's with all of this?" Her head nodded towards the cargo. "Is that stuff valuable?"

"Ohhh, you have no idea." He chuckled and showed her a price list and several conversions to different currencies. Roka knew only a few of them, but those numbers were breathtaking. "Depending on time and location this is more worth than entire solar systems. You just need the right broker."

"You?"

"Sure. I know the trading routes, the pirate hideouts, even how to contact all those silly little wannabe underground groups. It's just a start, but when the network is setup, all the tech is build and the right people know how to get to the right place..."

Roka laughed. "In a few years you can literally buy the whole universe."

"Exactly. Might not be the loudest and most explosive way... but it's still a hell of a task."

"But... this will all vanish too as soon as my timeline resets," she mumbled.

"That won't be an issue."

That could only mean he would trigger the reset _before_ he started to go through with the actual plan. And they wouldn't need forever to catalogue his stashes. "Guess I'm running out of time then," she said, trying to let it sound jokingly. "How long do I have left?"

"Let's see..." Another move of his hand brought up a screen with lots of Gallifreyan writing on it. Roka had never bothered with learning to read it. Some of the symbols were constantly changing.

"One hour, twelve minutes and... thirty-two seconds."


	27. Farewell

"That's..." Roka glared at the Gallifreyan symbols that seemed to be some sort of countdown.

"Short?"

"Oddly specific," she ended her sentence, suddenly feeling numb.

The Master brought up the same screen she had seen inside the TARDIS and he pointed at some numbers. "At that time my calculations will be done. I was simulating what your death will do to reality. To what extend it will be damaged and if it will recover from it."

"What for? It will happen anyway." She tried to focus her thoughts on this, instead of what was ahead.

"Oh, I just like to know what awaits me. How I can keep myself safe. What places to avoid for a while and whether or not I can benefit from it all." He chuckled to himself. "The biggest catastrophes sometimes yield the most unforeseen possibilities."

"I see," Roka mumbled and closed her eyes.

Suddenly she felt fingers at her throat, feeling her pulse.

"How can you be so calm?" he asked quietly.

"Who says I am?" She smiled sadly. Her _mind_ was racing, barely able to form a coherent thought.

The hand vanished, but instead grabbed her shoulder to turn her around. She didn't want to look at him, not show him how bad she actually felt.

"I don't get it." He stared at her, head slightly tilted. "Why do you chase after death? Nothing you did was so bad that it would justify it. You just make no sense." His eyebrows furrowed.

A sad smile whizzed over her face and finally she looked at him. "Because there never was a reason left to stay."

That was a lie. She wanted to stay with _him_ , wanted to continue this way of living. But that wasn't a thing she could tell him. Not even now. _Especially_ not now, when her end was inevitable. Instead she poked him playfully and smiled.

"You just want to finally see me begging for my life, don't you?"

He chuckled. "Would be nice for a change." Then his face got serious and he cupped her chin. "Any last wish?"

Plenty. But none really mattered. What could one wish for, there at the edge of existing. Everything she could ask him to do would get reverted anyway. She could have some fun and make him do something ridiculous. Or she could visit some of her favorite places a last time, have the biggest and most expensive meal in the universe... So many possibilities... all of them without value to her.

He leaned down to look her straight in the eyes. "Nothing?"

Would he feel her pulse _now_ he would find it racing all of a sudden. It was such a weird thought, coming out of nowhere. Or maybe it had been there all the time, lingering hidden in the back of her mind. He was so close, but there was still way too much distance. Just... once.

"One... small thing," she mumbled, feeling her pulse quickening even more.

And then she knew how stupid it would be. It would just make it harder for her. Hastily she took a step back, took a deep breath and gave him a cheeky grin. "Tell me your name."

Confused he blinked at her. "You know it."

"Your _real_ name." She stuck out her tongue and tried to hide what was going on inside of her.

"Mhmm... why should I tell you?" He squinted at her, then smirked. "And I could ask the same of you."

"Hey, it's _my_ life that's going to end."

Swiftly he grabbed her shoulders. "Reason enough to learn your real name, little crow. And I can just pull it out of your mind," he countered with a wide smile, already moving his hands towards her head.

Roka retreated a step. She really didn't want him in her mind right now. He would just see all the weird stuff that was swirling around in there and... he didn't stop and already was at her again.

"It's... Geneviere Akerson," she blurted out and ducked out of his reach. "Satisfied?" she added irritated. "I know... weird combination. My mother's family came from France... my father's from Sweden."

"Well... no wonder you chose another one. Even though that too sounds dumb." The Master stared thoughtfully into the darkness.

"Never liked it," Roka mumbled. "Too long, too hard to pronounce. I always shortened it to Gin. But... that was a long time ago. Your turn."

"I never agreed to tell you anything." He grinned at her. "What for anyway?"

She shrugged. "I could sell it to some devils, when I'm down in hell... or whatever there might wait for me." She never had been a believer in those things. But if anything the like existed, she surely wouldn't get a nice place.

"No idea if there's an afterlife... but you won't get one anyway." He chuckled.

Then suddenly his face dropped, his eyes darted back and forth as if he was frantically thinking about something. And suddenly he was in front of her, his hands around her head. Firm enough to make all her struggles in vain. But the tingling didn't appear, so he probably wasn't reading her thoughts. At least she really hoped so. Only a few seconds later he let go again and sped towards the crack through which they had entered the wrack.

Confused and still a bit startled Roka followed him back to the TARDIS, where he was pacing up and down, chin in hand.

"What did you do?" she asked.

"Got a trace of your time stream," he murmured absentmindedly, before suddenly turning around, his eyes lighting up like a light bulb. "Oh that's... that's brilliant!" he suddenly exclaimed, frantically pressing some buttons. "How could I have missed that? I'm such an idiot!"

"Yeah... could have told you _that_ before," Roka couldn't resist to respond.

The Master turned around, but didn't look as if he had even heard her. His eyes were wandering aimlessly around, a finger sat on his lips. Then he shook his head. "Ahhh... can't think! Too quiet... too loud! Still too loud! Need some noise around me... lots of noise..." A hand ran through his hair and he turned around to the console, eyes pinched. Then he spun around to Roka, flicking her forehead. "Twelve degrees Celsius... for a few hours. Get something your stupidly frail body doesn't freeze in."

"Uhm..."

"Hush! Away with you!" His hands waved to the door.

Roka had no choice but to obey, so she got herself into some decent outfit and a warm enough jacket. Looking at her in the mirror gave her a weird feeling. She had changed so much. For the better, in her opinion. Was the Master aware of that? Of the fact that he had done something good? A weird thought, now that he was about to literally murder her. But it was inevitable. The longer she stayed alive the worse the impact on reality would get.

What an irony. She, who didn't even existed, would cause something like that. And only because she had decided to _life_ that one day. To run after the crashing blue box, instead of... Only to find a weird man in there, all tattered and looking as if he was coming directly out of a war zone. Turned out he had. And when she had seen the TARDIS, had gaped at its inside, learned of the possibility to travel through all of time and space, to run away from who she had been...

No, she didn't want to die. There had been a time where she wished for nothing else but everything to end. Then she had stopped caring, and then... How could she feel such weird things?

It was no use. She spun around, leaving the wardrobe for the last time and came back to the console room, finding the Master still pacing up and down, tongue between his teeth. As soon as he heard her he spun around and got the TARDIS moving.

Wouldn't that delay the outcome of the calculation? Once he had said something about some hours per jump.

And once more Roka was amazed at how smooth he controlled the time machine. Not like the Doctor, who made everything and everyone tumble around during the rides. Not even the weird landing sound was to hear when they stopped.

The Master didn't hesitate for a second, shoving her outside shortly after. Roka threw a look back at the TARDIS. Good bye, friend, she thought. Thanks for all the adventures.

"It's a fine place," the Master said absentmindedly. "Been here a few times. Long ago," he went on as if to distract himself, before he rubbed the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

Shapes of giant buildings rose into the sky in the distance, indications of an enormous city. But here they were at the edge of a small, quite earthen looking forest, perfectly contrasting the cityscape ahead. Everything was covered in snow, although it was way too warm for it. Well... different planet, different weather. When they left the shadows of the last trees Roka could make out a large area filled with tents and carts, crowded by hundreds or maybe even thousands of people.

"The last green place on the planet. The rest is covered by this massive city, built on the ruins of ruins of even older ruins," he explained, while they walked towards the gathering. "They celebrate the new year here and since they discovered space travel it's a real tourist magnet."

"I don't get it," Roka said slowly, still confused. "You're taking me to some sort of festival?"

"No... I'm taking _myself_ there. It's loud and full and... I need my brain functioning. No drums, no silence... And it's a nice place anyway. And actually..." He stopped in his track as if he had just remembered something. "Actually I haven't been to one of these since... long before the Time War even."

"Awesome, I'm even more confused," she grumbled.

"And they have lots of tasty things there," the Master continued, sounding dreamy all of a sudden.

A chuckle escaped Roka. He could be such a child sometimes. And then the very next moment a murderous sociopath. Only to turn around a casually talk about the weather. There had been situations Roka had wished she could have stop him, mostly when he was in rage and acting without thinking. Sometimes to stare perplex at the aftermath when he had cooled down. Never showing any remorse though. And then there were those other moments. When he was just a traveler, soaking in a beautiful sight, reminiscing about the wonders of the places he had seen. When he showed her around with a smile that got even wider when he saw that she liked it. The Master could be like raging fire, completely out of control, leaving nothing but ashes and burned corpses behind. But he also could be like a gentle, soothing rain. Philosophizing with her about literally everything. Sometimes having a smile so warm, it could melt away glaciers.

She wondered how much of this would stay when he was on his own again. And the thought hurt.

The crescendo of sounds tore Roka out of her pondering. More and more people walked past them, forming a crowd much bigger than she had ever seen on earth. Music was all around them, some of it sounding nice and almost familiar, others exotic and made with instruments Roka couldn't even imagine.

There was laughter and singing and the whole place was brimming with life. So many different species, lots of which she had never seen before. She recognized some that looked like insects, some lizard-like, even fish creatures. Others had wings and feathers, while some were almost human in shape and overall appearance, only with minor differences or patterns on their skin.

She took care to stay close to the Master, to not get pushed away. People usually avoided her instinctively, even though they couldn't see her. But in a crowd like this she didn't want to count on that, so she grabbed the Master's sleeve to not get separated.

For a second he glanced down at her, then suddenly slid his hand into hers, gripping it firm.

"Hey, I don't want to lose you in here," he grinned. "No need to blush."

"I'm not...!" She puffed up her cheeks and turned away, scolding herself for reacting like that.

They strolled around for a while and it was amazing to see all the different species and also the many carts with exotic wares and fantastic smells. Here and there Roka made sure to slightly bump into a few people, but they never paid too much attention to her. Being a glitch sometimes _did_ have advantages. Although she would have probably been swept away pretty quickly if the Master wouldn't hold her.

At one cart he stopped and squinted at the merchant, before he let out a frustrated grunt. "Of course. It has to be a Hophkha."

"What's wrong with those?"

He took in a breath through his nose and frowned. "I can't hypnotize them. And since I intend to stay here for a while it would be stupid to cause havoc." He sniffed the air again, a dreamy look on his face, before he sighed. "And I don't have any local money."

Roka giggled. "I do."

His head snapped towards her. "How the..."

She giggled again and got out a hand full of coins and a whole bunch of bank notes. "It's so easy to pickpocket people when they can't see you."

For a few moments the Master stared at her hands, then burst out into a laugh ruffled through her hair. "You're the best."

"I know," she grinned and let go of his hand. "That's why I'll get myself some sweets now."

"Oi, hand that over!"

"Steal your own," she laughed, but after enduring his venomous stare for a few seconds, she gave him half the money and they spent another while getting all sorts of sweets and snacks from the booths. Roka had no idea how he intended to eat all of those... but she had stopped wondering about _that_ anyway.

Somewhere they stopped to watch a creature that was almost humanoid in shape, but with frog like legs and a flat face. It was performing some sorts of magic tricks on a small stage, producing sparks of all colors in his hands and painting pictures with them into the air, before they exploded into tiny fireworks.

On another stage stood a bunch of gnome like creatures, a lot smaller than Roka and with wrinkly faces. They were gesturing around a sphere full of animals that seemed to be a mix of silk and colored smoke. One brushed the glass of the sphere and made it glow of heat at that spot.

And at another place there was a huge figure Roka could swear was a werewolf sitting on the ledge of his stage. At least it looked exactly like one would imagine them. Only that this one wore something similar to a suit and a cylinder, smoking a cigar, while telling children stories in a raspy voice.

At almost the center of the place the Master stopped and walked over to one of the decorative trees, pulling out a small device.

"That's a good place." He turned around to Roka. "I'll use a perception filter, so no one bothers me. Loud enough here..."

"I still don't get it."

"It's a... theory. And some Time Lord stuff. I have to trace your time line a bit, check some more data..." He tapped his pocket, where the tablet was in. "Have to be sure about that. Absolutely sure. You... go, have some fun for a while." A smile wandered to his eyes and he nodded behind her. "See that white, splintered tree? Meet me there at midnight."

Roka squinted at him. "I could just run away. Why should I come back to let you kill me?"

The corner of his mouth twitched, but his eyes looked sad all of a sudden. "I won't wait forever. If you don't come until morning... I'll be gone. And you will be stranded here..."

"That place sounds quite interesting," she countered. "I bet I could explore this city for a few hundred years without getting bored."

"At least." Now he smiled and nodded. "The planet is four times as big as earth."

At that moment Roka understood. He was letting her go, letting her live for as long as she wanted. Knowing perfectly well that he would forget her like everyone else the moment she died. An act of mercy? Probably not, although she wasn't able to understand his reasoning.

"You know..." He came closer so he wouldn't have to speak so loud over the noises of the crowd. "It was fun. Running away with you and all that. Really."

She glanced up to him, saw that he knew she had understood.

"Yes, it was."

Around them people rushed by as glimmering colors, unaware of what was going on. But in that tiny bubble there were only the two of them, staring at each other, knowing there would never be another chance to let go of unspoken words. And there were so many of them.

Roka lowered her head and squinched her eyes shut. "Farewell... Master," she said, barely loud enough for him to hear.

Then she turned around, not once looking back, and vanished into the crowd.


	28. Cold fear

Roka sat on top of the wall and let her gaze wander over the countless containers. Large, metal crates in different colors, filled with who knows what. But she wasn't after the containments of those. There was only one she was interested in and, if she had heard and remembered it correctly, she knew which of them.

For a while she let her feet dangle, contemplating if she should wait for the night to settle. But the planet's days were nearly twice as long as earth's, so she would have to wait at least another one or two hours. The glimmering orange and faint purple of dusk must be dramatic enough she decided and hopped down to the other side.

In here she had to be more careful though. Outside the crowd and the glitch had protected her, but here she scurried from shadow to shadow, along the rows of metal, careful not to make too much noise.

The container was almost in sight when she heard steps heading into the same direction. Hastily she ran into the deep shadow of an especially large container stack, pressing her back against it. The steps stopped. Had she been heard? In this shadow she should be almost invisible, combined with the glitch it shouldn't be a problem.

But no matter how long she waited the steps didn't continue. That was odd. Had she imagined them? Or had the guard started to sneak? It was no use. She had to move if she ever wanted to reach her target. So she trod carefully and slow, peaking around every corner and waiting inside the shadows longer than maybe necessary. The twilight was as much of a help as a hindrance, making her as blind as everyone else.

She hurried along another row of containers, past its deep shadows, when suddenly hands came out of the dark, grabbing her. One hand was over her mouth, the other around her torso, making it impossible to move. But then she heard a surprised noise and when she looked up, her eyes widened and the man let go of her.

"What the heck are _you_ doing here?" she hissed.

"Could ask you the same," the Master retorted and looked slightly uncomfortable. "You should be long gone."

A roguish grin sprang to her face. "Couldn't resist. I heard there is supposed to be fireworks later on. And they have a whole container full of it."

"And you thought it would be funny to blow it up?" He raised an eyebrow, then grinned back. "You've been around me for too long."

"You're here too... that can only mean you had the same idea." She chuckled and nodded towards the container.

Both moved the rest of the way in silence, but no one else was there to stop them.

"What have you gotten?" Roka hushed.

"Timed detonator. You?"

"Remote inflammable Havkarin fire."

"How in the universe did you get _that_?"

"Invisibility." She smiled widely.

The Master rolled his eyes and hissed, "Cheater." Then he snatched it out of her hands and threw it into the container, before nodding towards the exit.

They took another way back and snuck out of a hole in a fence, before melting with the crowd. The Master nodded when they were far enough away and Roka pressed the button inside her pocket.

Instantly all heads went up to the sky, where suddenly countless explosions melted with the colors of the sunset, chaotically spreading their noises and lights. Some of the fireworks flew dangerously close, others exploded right above the container deposit. Then there was an ear piercing explosion as probably too many fireworks in a too tiny space went off. A fire got visible at the containers, spreading fast and towards the crowd.

"Oh shit." Roka gaped at the flames and hoped they could be extinguished before they could cause too much damage.

The crowd started to get twitchy and here and there a slight panic spread. The Master grabbed Roka and tore her out of the crowd, before he let go again. They hurried towards the remains of an old stone building near the trees, finally far enough away from any danger.

Then they both burst out into laughter, watching the spreading flames from afar.

"Oh damn, I didn't think it would be that bad." Roka panted, barely stifling another giggle. She had to lean against the wall and looked up to the Master, who was equally amused.

But slowly, as the excitement of the situation settled, she got serious again. Still having her back leaned against the stone she stared up to the stars that begun to appear. Ending this day laughing wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. She closed her eyes and waited.

"Can I still run?" she asked eventually, a small smile playing on her lips. She heard him move and come closer, standing in front of her now.

"Sure," he said calmly. "Although I'd rather you stay."

Roka refused to open her eyes. She didn't want to look at him, didn't want him to read from her face how lost she felt. Not for a second had she planned to really run away. It was no use. Time had no meaning. An eternity passed, none of them moved. And eventually she _did_ open her eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked and tried to sound sarcastic. "Want to wait until midnight for the dramatic effect?"

The Master looked down to her, then moved to the side and too leaned against the wall, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"It's so obvious," he murmured and shook his head. "How could we both miss it?"

"What... do you mean?"

"Your time line... It will vanish _completely_ if I end your life now."

"I know." Roka looked up at him. "What's new about that?"

"It was right there, the whole time. Right in front of my nose and I couldn't see it." A sudden smile wandered onto his face, before he looked at her. "Tell me... how could you have ever died if you never existed?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but closed it again as the meaning of his words sunk into her. Instead she simply blinked a few times, perplex and still not sure she got it right.

"Everything will happen as expected. Reality ripping open, ripples through time and space..." He waved a hand through the air. "You lived too long, so it will be like an explosion, unstoppable. But sooner or later it will go back, simply revert, until everything is undone."

"I... think I understand," Roka mumbled. "But... what about my...?"

"Nothing. It overrides itself. The moment of your death, the moment you haven't existed, like antimatter. You'll just drop dead like everyone else. I can still sense your time stream. There isn't a perceivable moment where it's gone." He pushed himself away from the wall and stood in front of her again, a smile on his face. "You won't vanish. Which also means I don't have to take your life."

She had to close her eyes again. It was too much information at once, too many thoughts racing through her mind. He was right. How could they have missed something so obvious? But if they hadn't... they would have never travelled together. She would have never... abandoned the Doctor.

Her eyes sprang open, snapping upwards to meet the Master's. She gulped and felt guilt and anger and sadness and a whole bunch of other things wash over her in one single moment. This truly changed _everything_. And in a way it also meant that nothing had changed since the day they had begun this silly game of life and death. This meant...

"You... don't look happy about that. It's a _good_ thing!" He grinned widely at her.

"It means..." Roka mumbled, staring at him. "...we basically never stopped being enemies."

Had it ever stopped though? To her it had definitely felt that way and the Master's dropping face indicated the same. He understood immediately and anger crossed his eyes when he ran a hand over his face with a sigh.

"Forget that idiot," he simply said.

She shook her head. "I can't," she whispered desperately. "He's my friend. I can't just abandon him."

For the span of some heartbeats he simply stared at her. "What else could it be..." he took a step back and stared up to the sky. "Stupid of me to think anything else."

"I... I just want..." Roka tried to find words, but her mind was empty.

The Master didn't move a muscle, didn't say anything else. He glared at her begging eyes, his own slowly filling with anger. For a second he looked at the sky as if it would hold any answers, while the air around them seemed to grow almost tangibly colder. When he looked back at her his eyes were incredibly dark and like ice, drilling into her very soul and making her shiver.

It was the same thing she had felt around him when they had first met. Like a thick aura of darkness, completely engulfing him. There was not the slightest hint of any expression on his face anymore, not even a spark in his cold, ancient eyes.

As he wordlessly moved back in front of her this feeling grew so thick, it took her breath away for a moment. Maybe it was only a psychic effect, but it didn't seem to be conscious. And suddenly she realized that all this time he had been only playing with her. If, at any moment, he really had intended to scare her, it would have needed nothing more than this.

It was like glaring into a storm tossed ocean, old and powerful, dark and incredibly cold. She pressed her back against the wall as if that thing could give her any kind of protection. Maybe she should run, get out of his reach, but her body was frozen all of a sudden, her heart racing uncontrollably, her eyes widened. It felt like a part of his thoughts were seeping into her mind.

And the only thing left inside her was fear. Not for her life, not for anything she could even name. It was only a primal, completely irrational fear that utterly overwhelmed her.

When he bent down to her his voice was bare of any emotion, foreign. It made her shiver.

"You're awfully stupid to remind your _enemy_ of your intentions," the Master stated, staring her down. "It's your own fault. You chose. Now you won't be of help to _anyone_."

His hand wandered into his jacket and a moment later held the laser screwdriver. Finally Roka found her voice again, cursing herself for not being able to stabilize it. "Just... let him go," she pleaded, her voice faint and shaking. It was the only thing standing between them. If only he would listen.

But nothing indicated that her words had even reached him. She stared into his frozen eyes, her heartbeat out of control. Her mind was racing, rushing through every possible thing she could say to snap him out of this. Of course, he hated the Doctor. But was it really _that_ bad? Was that even the reason for this, or was there more? If only she could think properly.

Instead her eyes only filled with tears when she watched the Master point the laser at her chest. She didn't want to die. No... she didn't want to _leave_ him. Was this how he was, when no one else was around? Almost like back on that turtle, only that he now was willingly letting go of control over his sanity, was using his own madness to drive him to action.

The thought was unbearable. Her lips moved on their own, muttering her last words. "Don't be so lonely," she pleaded.

His thumb rested on the button, twitched.

Hesitated.

The Master blinked a few times and a slight confusion appeared in his gaze.

"What?"

Roka let out a shaky breath and even managed to get something vaguely resembling a smile onto her lips. "I still have a list wish, don't I? This is it."

Slowly the hand with the laser in it sank down. "That's... nothing I have control over," he said toneless, but the threatening aura faded a little. He leaned closer to tower above her. "But I also don't need someone around me that could stab me in the back at every moment."

"Then just let him..."

"No! He is exactly where I need him! Far away, unable to sabotage my life with his stupid heroism. And you!" he snapped. "Don't be such an idiot."

"What do you expect?" she asked shakily. "I'm not someone who leaves people behind. I don't betray the ones I call my friends."

"That makes you a rare kind." A moment passed before he put the laser screwdriver back into his jacket. But before Roka could breathe a sigh of relieve she saw that he had gotten out a thin, long knife instead. "You know what... you were a fine distraction. You deserve better treatment. A better death." He stepped closer and pressed her against the wall behind with one hand, before he grabbed the zipper of her jacket and opened it halfway. She froze completely. "Always liked that one." He spoke slow, savoring the sound of his own words. "You can't know it... but a heart is very sturdy. If you stab it... but not completely through, just scratch the surface so to speak..." Now he opened the first few buttons of her blouse. "...your heart will continue for a _long_ while. Pumping out your blood until you run dry. Beat... by... beat." A sickening smile appeared on his face. "Fascinating, isn't it?"

Roka couldn't respond. He wasn't really doing that, right? After all their time together... after he had been so relieved about not having to kill her... But no, his eyes told a different story. He would enjoy this, would laugh when she would cry out in pain, watch silently as the last bits of life dripped out of her veins.

The cold edge lowered onto her skin, making her wince. It sat right above her heart, in a perfect angle to slide through the gaps of her ribs. How often had he done this already, she wondered. When she stared up to him there was still nothing, even the smile from before had vanished again.

He stretched out two fingers and slid them over her eyelids, closing them.

"What a pity that you chose the wrong side," he almost whispered. "But you were expecting death anyway."

Roka didn't try to steady her heartbeat. It would only slow down the process. She couldn't move, partially because she was frozen and also because he pressed her too tight against the wall to struggle.

And a moment later she sucked in a sharp breath as the edge cut deep into her skin, drawing a small circle. Without thinking her hands grabbed the arm that was pinning her to the wall. The knife reappeared again, almost at the same spot, leaving another burning hot circle, so deep she felt it scratching her bone, making her whimper. He was playing with her. And never before in her life had she felt such a pain. It made her numb, dizzy, and she could no longer tell what he was doing.

It even took her some moments to realize the knife to be gone eventually. Only when there was a tug at her blouse did she open her eyes, seeing him buttoning it up again.

Confused she lifted her head to see a nasty grin on his face as he straightened and dramatically licked some of her blood from the blade, before he carelessly dropped it to the ground.

Her hand wandered to her chest, feeling blood leaking through the cloth. Everything was so incredibly foggy, her head so dizzy. Instinctively she reached out and clutched the Master's jacket, holding onto it, while desperately trying to stay conscious.

"How can you chase after danger, when you can't even stand such a small injury?" he asked, his voice oozing with sarcasm. "Not being used to that, hm? And I didn't even cut _that_ deep. Barely scratched your bones."

"What did you..." Roka tried to ask, but suddenly felt sick.

He put a hand under her chin to make her look at his grin. "I still own your life, remember? That means I can play with it all the way I want. And also take it whenever I desire."

She didn't understand.

"Let's play a little game together... just you and I." The grin got malevolent and his voice was cold.

Roka looked down at her bloody shirt. The stains formed a bunch of lines and circles. A Gallifreyan symbol. Even more confused she looked back up.

"It's my name," the Master said calmly. "You asked for it, so I marked you. As my prey. As my... possession."


	29. A wish

The pain made her legs weak. If she wouldn't still clutch his jacket she probably would just fall. The Master though didn't move, didn't help her in any way, just stood there, like cold rock, watching as she desperately fought to stay conscious.

"Och, come on, don't make such a fuss about it," he snickered. "Wretched human body, eh? Can't stand anything."

She had been injured before. Once or twice even rather badly. But never before in such a way. Taking in one breath after the other, slow and deep, she tried to stabilize herself, tried to get her focus to something else but the pain, throbbing in her flesh.

"Let's see... I'm not the best with spontaneous ideas." The Master chuckled and loosened Roka's hands from his lapels before taking a few steps back, eyes fixated on her as she dropped against the wall with closed eyes, breathing heavily. "Such a pathetic thing. You're not even worthy being called my enemy. Where's the fun in that?"

Finally Roka forced her eyes open to stare at him, still unable to form a proper thought. All she could do was silently watch as he went on rambling.

"How about a proper hunt? What do you think?" He grinned madly at her. "There is a functioning Vortex Manipulator in the TARDIS. I could give it to you. See how far you come while having _me_ in your back." Excitedly he strode around, his voice filled with enthusiasm. "Or even better... you don't age. You have all the time ever needed. How about I just leave you _here_?" He laughed out loud at the thought. "I bet you would even have fun with that. Using all that fine tech around to build yourself your own time machine... _can_ you do that?"

She glared at him, eyes pinched, having to clench her teeth to bare the pain, while she felt blood still oozing out of the cuts.

"Oh, I bet you can. Or maybe steal a ship. There are enough space traveling species around."

Was this how everything would end?

"I could set a time limit... maybe... a hundred years? What do you think? Too long, too short?" He threw a quick glance at her, but obviously didn't even await an answer.

A century... that was whole human lifespan, her tired mind reminded her. A whole life she would have to spend as a ghost, trying to... to what even? To hold on long enough until he would come back to...

"After that I might even grant you a nice death. Or a slow one. Depending on what you earned yourself." Again he chuckled.

"What..." she barely brought out. "What's the point of this?"

With a few quick steps he was back in front of her, pushed one arm to the wall behind her and glared down at her with a manic glint in his eyes.

"You want that imbecile Doctor to be free, eh? How about you go and free him yourself." He put a finger under her chin to raise her head.

There was so much raging chaos in his eyes, it was hard to look at them for long. It scared her, in a new and different way than what she had felt moments ago. This was who he usually was. Who he _had_ been. Slowly the thought crept into her mind that he had changed since they were traveling together. So slow and subtly that neither she nor him had even noticed it. All this time he had been a little calmer, a little more composed. And seemingly a tiny little bit happier.

All of it gone within one single moment, wiped away, maybe never to return.

"What if I... refuse to play along?" She forced a mean smile onto her face.

For a moment he thought, but then his face lit up with a happy grin. "I'll just go back and kill him instantly." With that he pushed himself away from the wall again, still towering above her.

Of course... he wouldn't leave her a choice. And he knew all of her weaknesses. Better than anyone else.

"What if I agree, but don't act on it?" she tried.

"Oh, that's what the time limit is for." Again the smile, as if he were all too satisfied with the idea. "If you don't manage to free him until then... you're both dead."

How could he sound so happy at that? Like a child explaining how to play marbles. Roka tried as hard as she could to think. Slowly she slid her back up the wall to stand properly again. But the more she moved the more the wound bled. It just wouldn't stop. Her hand wandered to her chest, where she could feel her very life flowing out of her with every breath, seeping through her fingers. Perplex she looked at her hand, covered in so much blood, shaking. The left side of her previously light blue blouse was completely drenched in red.

Seeing it like that made her feel sick again. What could she do? How could she get out of this? Desperately she tried to focus her mind, to step out of herself, become a mere observer instead of a participant. She was so good at this. Usually. Now it didn't want to work.

What if she simply told him that she no longer cared about the Doctor? Would he believe it? No, of course not. He might be insane and completely out of control, but he wasn't stupid.

She pressed the hand back over the wound as if it could stop the bleeding. It was such an instinctive move, but she couldn't prevent it. How much blood had she lost already? Her legs were so weak. And right as she thought this they yielded under her, making her sink down at the wall until she sat on her heels, her hands brushing the thin layer of snow on the ground. With a weird clarity she noted that it was way too warm, not feeling like the snow she was used to.

A short laugh escaped her, then another, until she was quietly giggling to herself like a lunatic. This was so ridiculous. How could it end like this? The sound of rustling clothes made her look up. The Master had crouched down in front of her, disbelieve and curiosity in his gaze.

"There won't be any games," she said with a grin and laughed again. "Don't think I'll make it long enough to play with you." Slowly she took her hand from the wound, showing him how bad it looked. With every word she spoke another small gush of red poured out of the cuts. Enough to be visible through the cloth.

He just stared at it, head slightly tilted, no emotion showing on his face. Just watching as every heartbeat brought her closer to death.

"Is it fun?" she asked. "To watch me die?" She chuckled lightly. "I hope it is." The symbol had long stopped being visible, making her tug at her blouse with shaking hands to look at it once more. It had some elegance to it, with the lines and circles and the glimmering red. "At least tell me what it means. I can't read it."

The Master didn't budge, didn't say a word. He just continued to watch in silence, while it got harder and harder for Roka to focus on anything. Not long and she would pass out, never to wake up again. And no matter how hard she tried to feel it, there still was no fear. She felt... weirdly calm and even smiled a little. It wasn't like people always said, didn't feel cold. It was more like a subtle warmth spreading inside her, like a tender embrace, as if death himself would hold her in his arms until she was ready to be taken away.

"No." the Master finally said, barely audible. Roka heard some rustling. "This is what you want, right? I still don't understand it. Why do you want to die so desperately?"

She opened her eyes and smiled. "Idiot. That was half my life ago." Speaking had gotten so hard by now. Her lips felt numb, as if they were too cold to move and her voice was incredibly quiet. "That's the last thing I want. I simply lost the fear of it." Breathing also got harder. "Guess if you accept it once... you can never return. But if I had a choice... I would choose to stay."

Some more time passed. Probably. It was hard to perceive by now, but it felt as if minutes had gone by before she suddenly felt a touch on her skin, right in the middle of the wound. As it retreated a shock went through her, making her whimper in pain. It felt as if her skin was melting, but it only lasted for a few seconds. Heavily breathing she glanced down and saw a tiny round patch sitting on her skin. The cuts had stopped bleeding. The Master stretched out his hand and removed the patch again.

"Can't play with a corpse after all." He glared at the patch on his finger and threw it away. "Convenient little things." He got out something else from his pocket. It looked like a small syringe, filled with a weird brown substance. Without hesitating he injected it into her neck.

It reminded her unpleasantly of the poison he had used on her so long ago, but instead of experiencing a new pain or any other bad effects she actually started to feel... better. Perplex she looked up, while feeling a little bit of strength returning to her body.

"You haven't even lost a really dangerous amount of blood," he stated amused. "Few vitamins and minerals... bit of sugar... should be all you need to be fit again within a minute. Well... mostly."

Suddenly Roka snorted. "You injected me with an energy drink?"

Her words made a slightly amused glint appear in his eyes. "Basically... I'm afraid I don't carry coffee around with me."

Oh how she wished they could just laugh about this and then go on as if it hadn't happened. It was still there. This weird companionship they had formed, lingering between them like an invisible force. But neither of them were able to find the right words to tap into it, make it reappear. It was too late for that.

"Just so you know..." Slowly and carefully Roka heaved herself onto her feet again. "It's a dumb game. But since you leave me no choice..." A wicket smile wandered to her face. "I won't hesitate to use everything I have against you. No way you can win this." If that was what he wanted, he would get it.

The Master chuckled satisfied and pinned her against the wall with one hand, pushing against the still hurting wound. Roka cried out at the pain and cursed nastily at him. With a manic grin he leaned down to her. "I'm looking forward to it. Even if you can free him... I will still hunt you."

"I will," she brought out between clenched teeth. "But sure, come after me. Then I might finally smack that stupid grin out of your face." Her brows furrowed and she held eye contact, although it was hard.

"You want to return to him so desperately?" His hand pressed against the wound some more, making her gasp. "Good... will only make you fight harder." He chuckled darkly and gave her a mocking smile. "Just think about it... finally together with him again... What a touching moment that will be, don't you think?"

Slowly she shook her head, but he was pressing against the wound so hard it made it impossible to speak. No, she thought. No... you're getting it wrong.

"Shouldn't even surprise me." He cocked an eyebrow. "First opportunity you see..."

"No!" Roka protested, fighting back the pain and feeling a sudden anger welling up. "I never wanted to go _back_!"

"Oh? What then? Getting me locked away? Seeing me dead?"

She squirmed under his grip, tore at his arm. She even tried to punch him.

"I know your kind, it's always the same," he mused on, ignoring her struggles easily. With a nasty grin he glared at her. "What did you want then, eh?"

She tried to kick him, tried to ignore the pain and just focus on her anger. "All I want is to _stay with you!_ " she cried out in frustration.

The pain vanished instantly as the Master backed off as if she had slapped him.

"Dammit..." she took some deep, heavy breaths with closed eyes. "You've got it all wrong, you moron." When she opened her eyes again she saw his face twisting in a mix of confusion and anger and... something else she couldn't name. "I want him free..." she said shakily, "So I could stay without having to conspire against you. Really wouldn't want to do that."

"Why... would you?" he finally asked with squinted eyes. "You're lying."

A humorless laugh escaped her. "Is it really so hard to believe?" She smiled tiredly. "I had fun. More than ever. Even though you're a horrible guy, but I do enjoy being around you."

The Master stared at her, his eyes filled with something that could almost be panic, darting back and forth between her face and the wound on her chest, as if he would finally realize what he had done to her. It was as if Roka could read _his_ mind for a change, see how a question was ticking in it, tormenting him as he looked at her. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, then stared at his hand that was covered in Roka's blood, clenched it to a fist and finally rammed it to the wall behind her head. He looked furious, mad, but at himself this time.

She winced a little, but stayed still, putting a hand up against his chest.

"Yes, you totally screwed up." She smiled to her hand, feeling his hearts racing under it. "Funny... you've been in my memories. There is literally no one who knows more about me... and you still don't get it."

"Guess it's too late for that now," he growled.

And if he were any other person Roka would have been sure he was about to apologize. She looked up and saw it in his eyes, but the words never left his mouth.

"Why's that?" She grinned, tapping against the wound. "You really think this changed anything?"

His eyes widened. "What? But that's..."

"Insane?" She laughed, this time honestly amused. "Yup. I think I completely lost it. Let's just say you owe me something for that. Something freaking big that is."

"How..." His other hand grabbed her collar and pressed her further against the wall. "How can you still smile at me?" He gulped, glaring down at all the blood on her clothes.

"I like how much it annoys you." She stuck out her tongue at his puzzled face.

"You don't get it." He leaned closer down. "I enjoy hurting you."

Roka gulped. She knew what he meant, knew that he did, in the moment at least. But he obviously _could_ feel remorse, and that was enough for her. If only she could stay. She tried to lower her head, but couldn't move it enough.

"As long as you keep patching me up afterwards," Roka retorted sarcastically.

He grabbed her collar tighter and leaned down closer, glaring right into her eyes. "I won't," he mumbled. "I will shred you into tiny pieces." It sounded more like something he wouldn't be able to prevent rather than a threat. He swallowed and gingerly skimmed a finger along her face, leaned a little closer and slightly against her forehead. "And then burn them... one by one," he murmured so quietly she almost couldn't hear it.

Roka's heart hammered in her throat, her eyes glued to his, and suddenly she felt shaky once more. Her hands instinctively grabbed his jacket again, pulled him even a little closer. She opened her mouth, barely able to speak, had to swallow.

"Try me."

In an instant he closed the gap between them and captured her lips. So careful and gently, she trembled at the touch. Roka's heartbeat exploded and she completely froze, time itself dissolved, stopped in its flow. And her eyes fluttered shut as the Master carefully ignited a fire deep inside her, burning her with every touch of his lips against hers until something in her mind just snapped, making her finally push herself further against him, responding, deepening the kiss with a fierce intensity she hadn't known she was capable of.

But only a second later he pulled himself away all of a sudden, glaring down at her with an utterly perplex expression.

His hand snapped up, a finger pointing towards her face and it took him a moment to breath, before he demanded, "That... absolutely never happened."

Roka's head was dizzy and something inside her was screaming in agony at the sudden loss of contact. But then she grinned amused. "You have a weird perception of reality."

He took a step away, shifted uncomfortably and thrust  his hands inside his pants pockets, eyes darting everywhere but at Roka. "No... just," he mumbled and paused before his face lit up a little. "Just had a bit of alcohol. Probably too much." And he nodded to himself as if that would explain everything.

"Huh, peculiar," she retorted. "And I was under the impression that would only affect Time Lords if they want it to."

Was he right though? Things were confusing and uncertain enough right now. It would be a lot easier to just pretend this had never occurred. For now. Nothing had changed about the situation after all, although she had a slight hunch that he might have lost every interest in chasing her through the universe.

Roka's hand wandered above her heart and she felt the cuts pulsating beneath the cloth. Good thing it wasn't bleeding anymore or it would have probably killed her by now as fast as her pulse still was. And it made her remember...

She wouldn't vanish.

Which meant she had literally all the time in the universe to solve all of this. The thought alone, paired with the adrenalin in her veins let a grin appear on her face and she pushed herself away from the wall, her steps a bit shaky.

"You know what?" She trod to the Master and poked his chest so he would - hesitantly - look at her. "Alcohol actually sounds like a good idea. There has to be a pub in a spot like this."

"Err..." His eyebrows raised confused. "Yes, down there..." he nodded behind her. "But..."

"Perfect. You owe me some drinks after cutting me open like that. And it's a better place to talk than out here." She glinted at him and plainly started to walk into the direction he had pointed at, calling back, "You'll pay."

"Uh... hey! Will you wait?!" he called after Roka and followed.                                   

"What is it?" Without getting slower she turned her head around with a defiant spark in her eyes. "Still not drinking with me?"

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A\N: Bonus. Because I can!


	30. Double trouble

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The pub was more of an inn with a bar on the main floor. It looked modern, the furniture made of dark wood. Padded benches and stable wooden tables filled the well lit room, giving it a warm and cozy atmosphere. Most people seemed to be still at the festival, so they got a nice place in the corner at a window.

Roka had used a bit of her stolen money to order some food, which she was now hungrily shoving inside her, hoping it was only meat with something vaguely resembling mashed potatoes. Who knew what weird things people might eat on that planet. But stress and blood loss had made her urgently hungry.

"I really wonder what creature this is," she mused, gulping it down with some water.

"Human," the Master grumbled sourly. He sat on the opposite bench, feet on the padding, back against the wall and his fingers drumming on the table, while he stubbornly continued to look the other way.

Roka glanced at the piece on her fork, shrugged and ate it anyway. "You're bluffing..."

Not much later and she had emptied the plate, pushing it away with a contempt sigh. When the innkeeper came she tugged at his sleeve, and as he finally saw her, she ordered a whole bunch of different, foreign sounding, drinks.

"So..." she started, folding her arms on the table and glaring at the Master. "I made a decision." He proceeded to ignore her, so she continued undeterred, "I won't play this messed up game with you."

A smug smile played on his lips, while he stared up to the ceiling. "Then he's dead now."

"Fine," Roka said nonchalantly. "I can't _win_ against you anyway. We both know that. So, no reason to waste my time with it." It wasn't even a lie. In case he wouldn't give in there was no way she would be able to get anywhere.

The innkeeper brought the drinks and Roka took a sip from one. It wasn't very strong and tasted sour. The Master looked at another one for a moment, then grabbed and downed it in one go, before he threw the empty glass into the middle of the room where it splintered into pieces. His face was expressionless, but Roka could tell that he was still angry. Although she wasn't completely sure at what exactly.

"Listen..." she tried.

"No." He grabbed another drink, but only stared at it.

Roka sighed. She knew it was no use when he was in such a mood. But the mere fact that he was _here_ and hadn't just vanished - what he could have done easily - proved that he too didn't want things to end like that. Especially not after... well... _that_ was an issue for much later.

"You can't, just for once, make things easy for me, hm?" She sighed, not awaiting an answer.

For some time she watched the guests coming in and out while emptying her glass. There were lots of interesting species around. Right now a very peculiar pair entered the inn. One of them looked human, male, probably in his mid forties or so, with dark brown hair and sporting an thin goatee. He was clothed quite elegantly in a tight black jacket, a white shirt and a black tie lurking out underneath it. The other one was more interesting though. It was a small person, roughly the size of a six or seven year old human child, it's skin had a light blue tone and its limbs were thin as twigs. The face was round and wrinkled and wore a small, dark blue soul patch, while the head was bald.

"That one looks like a stick figure," she giggled and watched the two.

To her surprise the Master reacted and looked over at the new guests, his eyes widening.

"That can't be true," he mumbled. Then he raised his fingers to his mouth and let out a sharp whistle, making the whole inn look at him.

With a head nod he waved the two over, ignoring everyone else. The man didn't look very happy, quite the contrary. Roka sensed that he was dangerous, as his gaze wandered over the Master and then... over _her_. And she definitely _wasn't_ visible right now!

"You better have a good reason for this..." the man said and his voice was deep and threatening. "I had a really bad day and I'm in the mood for bloodshed."

Again Roka got surprised as the Master only grinned widely.

"Och, come on. Self harm really isn't a way to go," he snickered. "And not my style either. As _you_ should know." He winked.

Did they know each other? She eyed the man and there was something familiar about him. Especially as his eyes lit up and a nasty grin was spreading over his face. A grin she knew all too well. Could that be?

"Well, look at that, Darook!" the man exclaimed. "And there that monk yesterday was telling me I need to meditate naked under a waterfall to meet myself."

"Blimey!" the sticky figure gaped. His voice was way too deep for his appearance. "Is that..." He looked up to the man behind him, then back to the Master. "You told me you can change faces, but that..." he climbed onto the bench and poked the Master. "That's a completely different one! And how can there be two of you?!"

"Yeah, I too am glad to meet you again." The Master snipped against the head of the blue guy, but smiled.

As if one Master wouldn't be trouble enough! Roka glared at the younger one as he slipped next to her. This really was weird. He looked so different, but his expressions were the same and also this slightly threatening aura around him. She realized this must be a regeneration of him which the Doctor had never encountered. He had described the ones he had met and this one didn't look like any of them.

He turned his head towards her and his dark grey eyes displayed a mix of disgust and curiosity. Roka wasn't sure if she should be annoyed by his behavior or surprised that, whatever made him remember her, didn't have anything to do with his current regeneration.

"That one smells human," he stated, nose wrinkled. He looked at his older self and nodded towards Roka. "Still need that, or can I get rid of it?"

The other Master was busy holding Darook into the air as if he was weighing nothing, and he was eyeing a hook on the wall, obviously contemplating if he should attach the small guy to it or not. He let him go and turned around, still avoiding to look at Roka, but at least he shook his head. "Don't touch her." His voice was cold, but determined.

"Pff, well... then stop staring at me, human. You're annoying," the younger one protested.

A mean smiled wandered to her face. "I see... you've always been that charming," she retorted sarcastically.

"Not scared either." His nose wrinkled again.

"You'll get used to it." The other Master grabbed a drink and downed it.

Darook seemed to be a very fidgety creature, barely able to hold still for a few moments. Around them the pub filled with people. Whole groups came in, probably from the festival and made so much noise that it wasn't really possible to get a conversation going. Eventually the blue guy just hopped away and vanished into a group of feather wearing people. Most of the newcomers had to stand, because there weren't enough tables. But no one seemed to be bothered by it.

Few moments later Roka got boldly nudged into the side. "Get lost, will ya?" The young Master got up to let her out. The older one didn't react and so she had no choice but to blend in with the other people. Fine, should he talk to himself for a while. The thought was amusing enough. Although she had no idea what it would be good for. As far as she was familiar with the concept, crossing your own time line meant that the younger version wouldn't remember their meeting afterwards.

Well... that wasn't her problem. Like that she had at least a chance to look at some of the species from a bit closer. And also to steal some more drinks. Somewhere she also found Darook, sitting on the lap of a purple alien, grinning ear to ear and obviously having fun. If _he_ was here it must mean this Master must be the one with the bar. What a coincidence.

She remembered their odd conversation so long ago, inside the bar in the TARDIS. He would leave the place and Darook, simply out of fear of getting betrayed. Was that the reason he had snapped before? Because he thought she too would betray him? But why should that bother him? If things had been only slightly different, he would have killed her anyway this night.

And why in all of time and space had he...?

Roka shook her head. Not now, she scolded herself. It was hard enough to focus on the main issue, and only brushing the thought of the... _incident_ from before made her heart race uncomfortably fast. The Master did dumb things all the time. Why should this have more meaning? And why was she even thinking about it?

Frustrated she shook her head again. In a way it really would have been much easier to die this night. But she wasn't running away anymore. From now on she would fight. No matter if it were monsters or her own thoughts or the Master's stubbornness.

This night she had been given a new life.

And she wouldn't let go of it so easily.

Someone bumped into Roka and when she looked down there was Darook, glaring up at her. "Ey! You look familiar. Have I seen ya somewhere before, lass?"

 "Yes, I'm with the Master," she answered, trying to be loud enough to be heard over the crowd. "But you probably forgot."

"Nah, wouldn't forget a pretty thing like you." He tucked his arm into hers, drawing her towards the bar counter, while she, as short as possible told him about the glitch. "Well..." he laughed. "Then I shouldn't let go of ya, ey?" With a few gestures he ordered some drinks. "You'll need them if you're here with that bloke."

Roka didn't mind at all and barely prevented a smile when she saw him ogling at pretty much everyone around. Somehow he reminded her a bit of Jack. Maybe a bit rougher. Moments later he shoved a drink into her hands, raised his own toward her and gulped it down in one go, ordering the next one, making her wonder where he actually had space for a stomach, while emptying her own glass.

"This's a bit surprising" he said, shoving the next drink into her hands and letting go of her arm. "Ya won't find a bloke that hates humans more than him. Why're you with him?"

"Long story. Literally." She grinned sheepishly. "Lots of coincidences and mistakes and getting all sorts of things wrong."

"Ha! Don't have to tell me." He winked. "Just curious."

It didn't take long and he forgot about her, bringing his attention back to flirting.

Roka strolled through the people and found the Master again. The older one. This really was confusing. He stood alone, leaned against a post, drink in hand and eyed the crowd. Where was the other one? Were they already scheming something? She trod next to him, but he pretended she wasn't there at all.

"Ey, looking for a rendezvous, Master?" Darook's voice came from nearby. The small guy wound himself through the people and grinned up. "Saw some ghobultros around." He winked, but the Master only rolled his eyes, making the blue one cock his head. "What's wrong? Don't tell me you grew up."

"Pfff" Roka snorted. "Don't think that'll ever happen."

"I'm not a freaking animal!" the Master protested.

Darook gave Roka a wink, when he saw her. "Says the guys who's shagging everything that's even remotely compatib... ow! Don't hit me!" He evaded a kick. "I bet the other you is already... ooow!"

The Master had grabbed and lifted the small guy up, grinning very nastily at him. "Guess I'm out of _that_ age. And thank time for that." He held him far enough away so the small fists couldn't hit his face.

"So much to Time Lords being _'superior and not controlled by animalistic instincts'_ ," Roka quoted his own words with a mean grin and emptied her drink.

"That's the case." He rolled his eye, but looked amused. "Doesn't mean you can't have fun." He sat down Darook and knocked on his head. "But how about you have some drinks with me, old friend? Haven't seen you in... four-hundred years or so?"

"Blimey! You really don't look that old! Ya damn cheater!"

Both strolled away, leaving Roka behind. She sighed. It wasn't surprising that he used every opportunity to not have to deal with her. What was though, was the way it made her feel. Left behind, forgotten, even worse, ignored. It felt as if he suddenly was affected by her glitch. And it hurt.

Maybe getting drunk had been a good idea after all. Not having her mind racing for even a little while would be nice right now. But just as she wanted to get back to the counter she got grabbed at her hood from behind.

"There you are!"

When she turned around the young Master was behind her. It was weird that he looked older although he was younger. And in that outfit definitely like a villain. He really seemed to have a liking for that.

"You're invisible, eh?" He eyed her sceptically. "You'll do me a little favor."

Roka crossed her arms and gave him a sour look. "What about... no." She really wasn't in the mood for whatever he had in mind. Especially since he was hard to predict. Same person or not, a few centuries could change one. And he had no connection to her... yet. Which meant she had to be careful.

"Oh, you have to." He gave her a mean smile. "At least if you like your pitiful existence."

"You know..." she sighed deeply. "Death threats really lose their impact when you get them ten times a day. And this day has been especially long so far..." A mean smile wandered to her own face and she gestured him to continue. "But fine, I'll hear you out and then decide."

He got something out of his pockets and held it in front of her. It was a set of lock picks. "Know how to use these?" As she nodded he continued, "I came here to get some special booze. But that idiot of an innkeeper doesn't want to sell it."

"Just hypnotize him?" She shrugged.

"Nah, where's the fun in that?" He grinned. "You'll go down into the cellar and steal it for me. It's a small bottle, about that size." His hands spread to indicate it. "Should have a slightly purple hue and a texture like velvet. You'll recognize it." With that he waved her along, not giving her time for any objections.

Without the slightest protest she followed him, actually being very fond of this plan, and the distraction it presented. They moved into a small corridor past the toilets and into a room that was reserved for staff members. No one was there, since the whole personnel was busy serving the crowd. But one room further there were a bunch of cooks and whatnot. The Master nodded her inside and stayed.

Roka moved past everyone without being noticed and lock picked the door easily. Now came the hardest part. Waiting for a moment when no one was looking at the door. She was invisible... the door wasn't. But they all were so busy it didn't take long.

The cellar was surprisingly old looking, clad in bricks and with a rounded roof. It's stone walls muffled all sounds from outside. There were shelves lining the walls, filled with all kinds of spirits. It took some time to find the right one, since it was a bit hidden under a table. She also took a small bottle of mead with her and another one with a slightly glowing blue liquid that looked exotic.

Loaded like this she carefully exited the cellar again, sneaked past the people, careful not to bump into the hastily running around cooks, and out of the room. The Master was waiting in a shady corner.

"Ah, that's the right... you've got to be kidding me!" he exclaimed when she also handed him the blue bottle. "Have you _any_ idea how rare and expensive that stuff is?"

"Yep, I have." Roka giggled. "You told me. About how you only ever had a single bottle of it and only used it for very special guests." It made her grin even wider to think about that _she_ was the one who had gotten it.

With a swift move he shoved the bottles inside his infinite pockets. Then he rushed away, of course without thanking her. Not that she would have expected it. But when she entered the main room again he stretched a hand out to hold her back. Perplex she looked up and he nodded into a corner.

"I'm not sure I get this," he started. "What is it you want from me? From my future me to be precise."

Roka stared at him surprised before slowly shaking her head. "I... nothing."

"No, no one ever wants _nothing_. Especially not your kind." He let a disapproving gaze wander over her, before his eyes fell onto the slightly open zipper of her jacket from which her blood stained shirt was lurking out. Not even bothering with asking, or personal space, he grabbed and opened it, peeking at the mark on her chest. "Why the ever lasting... what's that psychic link for?"

"That what?" she asked perplex.

"You don't even know what it is?" He cocked an eyebrow and let go of her. "Some sort of tracking method. I can find you all over time and space with this. Very old method... not very often used."

" _No_ idea why," she remarked sarcastically.

"Can you read it?" When she shook her head he continued, "Names are like a spell, you know. Some kind of ancient ritual. It's the same in the whole universe. People are given names to give them wishes to take with them. Until they get old enough to choose their own." He poked the wound, making her flinch. "That's why some of us prefer to keep them secret. It's weird that I entrusted you with it."

Roka laughed at that, not sure if he had even thought about this in that moment. Then she smiled up to this strange, but at the same time so familiar man. He had the same eyes, filled with raging chaos, ancient and always a bit sad. "I'll take good care of it."

"Maybe... maybe not. Still... what do you want?"

"What does it bother you? You won't even remember my answer."

"No." Swiftly he grabbed her collar and lifted her up from the ground a few centimeters. "But if I think you do me some bad... I will get rid of you."

"Even against your future's will?" Her own words made her wonder if that would even be the case.  Maybe he would be glad to get rid of her after all.

"Sure. Sometimes you're blind to your surroundings and someone else has to... take care of things." After that he sat her down again, but his eyes stayed on her, making her slightly uncomfortable. "People always want something. Your body, your mind, your power. Turn you _good_. Something like that. What is it?"

"I'm not lying," she answered. "I'm just here because I thought my time line would vanish, which it now doesn't, but it made me think nothing I do would have consequences." This answer obviously didn't satisfy him. But what else was the reason? Why did she _stay_? For a while she thought about it, let her mind wander over the past months. Then she shrugged and smiled again. "I'm not alone. I can see all of time and space and don't have to worry about any morals but my own. You're fun to be around, believe it or not. And... I don't see the point in changing you. If you _want_ to change, so be it. But I don't have the right to interfere with any of that. And I wouldn't want to. I like you as you are."

"That's... all?" He raised an eyebrow when she was done.

"Well... having random philosophical discussions in weird places might also be a bonus."

An amused smile came to his lips. "We do that?"

"Sometimes. It once lead to a revolution on Julaki... It was a stupid bet... and an idiotic theory." She shrugged. "Uhm... long story."

The Master laughed out loud, but then pointed at the wound on her chest with a grin. "What about that? Doesn't look like you agreed to it. And you can't tell me you like being treated like that."

She lowered her head. "That's... also a very long story. But no, I don't." Slowly she looked up and saw that he awaited more than that. It was so easy to read him, although they had never met. "I have to pay _some_ price, don't I?" She smiled vaguely. "And wounds have this fantastic ability to heal."

"You..." He shook his head in disbelieve. "...you're the weirdest human I ever met." He shook his head again and finally seemed to be satisfied, since he plainly walked away from her.

Perplex she looked after him. What a weird conversation. But not even when she thought about the subject further could she come up with additional reasons. There was nothing else to gain for her. But in a way it was all she wanted.

When she saw the older Master she stepped over to him, a smirk on her face.

"Remember that super valuable bottle of Crystalbloom?" He raised an eyebrow and nodded and Roka told with a smile, "Seems it was me who stole it for you."

"Well... that explains why I can't remember how I got it." He shrugged. "So? Want some payment now?"

"No, just brag a little." She grinned widely, but dropped it again, when he wasn't even reacting. And then, a few moments later, he plainly walked away, leaving her alone again.

Roka sighed, having no idea how to fix this situation. Her hand wandered to the wound. Even slightly touching it hurt badly. A psychic link... she shook her head. Maybe it had been dumb to not run away. It would have made things so much easier. She still could... if things would stay like that, she would be nothing more but a ghost once again. And being ignored willingly was so much worse than due to the glitch.

She closed her eyes for a moment, but it was hard to focus on any thoughts. The bit of alcohol she had made itself noticeable and the loud noises and the bright lights in here started to give her a slight headache.

Whatever her decision would be, for now she needed some fresh air at least.


	31. Insight

Night had settled over the planet, its sky only illuminated by the lights of the still ongoing festival and countless stars. So many places to go, so many things to see. Seeing places... the Doctor always had emphasized that this was enough. But interfering here and there was at least as much fun.

Interfering... There was an additional reason she was staying and not running away right now. And that reason was still imprisoned and heavily guarded.

With a sigh Roka leaned against the inn's wall and slightly sunk together, breathing clouds of vapor into the air. The cold sobered her a bit up again, as did the pain on her chest that seemed to get worse. This patch had only stopped the bleeding, not healed anything.

Next to her the doors opened, letting out some of the warm light and the loud noises, together with a small swarm of people, lastly followed by the young Master and Darook.

"Leaving so soon?" Roka remarked snidely. "And that without even blowing up the inn. I'm almost disappointed." She knew it wasn't fair, but since his future version was ignoring her, this one was good enough to let her frustration out.

"That wouldn't be a bad idea actually..." He turned towards her, then eyed the building, scratching his beard. "Got everything I wanted from that place anyway."

Darook gave him a warning look. "Not with me around."

"Tzz, you're such a spoiler, stick-head. But fine." He shrugged and wanted to walk away.

"Wait a second!" Roka suddenly called out. And when he threw an annoyed and disgusted glance at her, she glared back, having a grim smile on her face. "You haven't paid me for my service."

The Master laughed out and seemed to sense some fun ahead, since he came closer to tower above her like a predator. Roka, who had gotten skilled at that, simply ignored it, which in return slightly irritated him. "Go inside and bug my future about it," he grumbled. "That gloomy mood seems to be your fault anyway."

She opened her mouth, but closed it again, now unsure what to say.

A mean laugh came from the Master. "Why, you look quite miserable too. Got abandoned? Like a dirty little puppy?" He put on a mocking pout. "What a shame."

Roka scowled. "You really can be disgusting."

"Oi, don't tell him that" Darook tossed in. "Just makes him proud."

"Shut up, stick head."

"See? That grin's bigger than your ego, and that's really hard to manage." The small guy evaded a kick and snickered at him.

"You won't remember this, right?" Roka now dared to ask.

"No..." he squinted at her. "And I don't like that question. What do you want?"

"Just some... insight." She hesitated for a bit, then continued, "No idea what's wrong with him? I mean you... whatever." She rolled her eyes.

"No. I couldn't get a single word out of him." The Master looked a bit puzzled. "Which means this must be something serious. And I don't like that." His gaze wandered over her, this time longer, soaking in every detail, as if to find out who she was and what she could mean to his future.

"I think..." Roka tried to choose her words carefully. "You did something you're regretting now. More... than _one_ thing actually." It was just too tempting to get some insight from himself. "Running away doesn't seem to be an option, since he's still here. But... I don't know... just... help me." She hadn't wanted to say the last part out loud, but if there even was the slightest chance of fixing the situation somehow, she had to try.

Darook stood next to them, his head wandering back and forth between the two, until he only stared at the Master after he forgot Roka. "Why're ya staring at that wall?" He scratched his head. "Let's go back."

The Master looked at him, then back at Roka, his eyes thoughtful and dark. She noted how they were a lot less... mad. At that age the drums must have been a lot quieter. But in a way this calmness made him also seem a lot more dangerous. Less chaotic, more calculated. She had to imagine a chess player, patiently awaiting his turn to beat his opponent with a surprising move. And she knew, had they met at this stage, he wouldn't have taken her along, would have killed her probably the first day.

"I don't get it," he finally said in a cold tone. "But my instinct tells me to interfere."

With that he grabbed Roka by her jacket and dragged her back into the building. She had no idea what he had planned and tried to free herself from his grip while stumbling after him. Eventually she saw they were approaching the other Master, who was sitting on the edge of a bench, staring at the crowd as if to decide how to best ruin the evening for them, and his fingers drummed a rhythm of four on the table. As he saw the three approaching his look turned surprised.

The young Master tore Roka in front of him and threw her right onto the older one's lap.

"Talk." He commanded, then rolled his eyes at himself. "Don't gimme that look. I know I'm rubbish at that." Without another word he spun around, now grabbing the extraordinarily curious looking Darook and dragged him into the crowd.

It took both of them several moments to grasp the situation, but then Roka remembered, _where_ she was sitting right now, blushed horribly and wanted to get up, fast. She almost managed, but then she got torn back again and the Master wrapped his arms around her shoulders, leaving her no room for struggle.

"Let go! You're hurting me!" she protested. "That dumb mark is painful enough already. No need to make it worse."

"Then don't run off," the Master grumbled from behind and loosened his grip, without fully letting go of her though. "Thought for a moment you already had."

"Not yet. But I'm in a very good mood to do exactly that." She tried to turn her head to take a look at him.

"Don't..." he growled, and it surprised Roka so much that she didn't. Then he huffed. "My own past is mocking me with you. How ironic."

"A bit... can I... get up? This is weird." She felt still a bit uneasy like that. He didn't let her go and didn't even give an answer, so she sighed and tried to calm herself down. "Fine... then at least talk to me. Now that I literally have all of eternity... I can just do whatever I want, you know. Including just walking away."

"Where to?" the Master asked, astonishingly calm.

Roka smiled to herself. "Everywhere."

It hadn't changed that she'd rather stay with him, but if he wouldn't let her... Surprised she noticed how much the thought alone hurt. It was a strange, almost physical pain. Again she wanted to look behind her, but another deep growl made her give up.

"Isn't it funny..." he said, but didn't sounded amused at all. "It's such a bother to have people around. Never was really fond of it." There was a noticeable pause, before he continued, carefully putting together his thoughts. "I initially planned to dump you somewhere after a few days. Make a bit fun of you before and then just walk away... don't... turn around."

Pouting Roka stared into the noisy crowd. "Why are you telling me that?" she wondered. "And... why haven't you done it?" For a few seconds she thought about it, and when she got no answer, she asked quietly, "Why am I still alive?"

There still was no answer. But the question hovered around them, making the silence heavy. She didn't want to leave. The longer this thought rotated in her mind, the more it hurt. At her back she could feel the familiar doubled heartbeat, speeding up, slowing down, as if it would mirror the Master's own thoughts. Somehow it calmed her down.

"Because I like you, idiot."

Roka wasn't completely sure she actually had heard those words. Drowned in the noises of the inn, it could have been her imagination.

"You're like a shadow," the Master said, his voice thoughtful. "Always there, but never interfering, never judging... It's so easy to just get... used to it."

That made her chuckle. "I'm a ghost after all. No one notices when I'm there."

"It's noticeable when you're _not_." He huffed. "Weird, isn't it?"

What could one answer to that? Her mind was racing and blank at the same time. One issue after the other. She took some slow breaths.

"Do you hate the Doctor so much?" Roka eventually managed to ask. "So much you would rather murder someone you like, before even thinking about letting him go?"

"It's not..." he started protesting, but then went silent again. "I... hate that it's always about him. People only like him because of his stupid heroism." He grumbled a bit. "If you would count, I bet he killed at least as many people as I did."

"Well... being a turd certainly makes no one like you," Roka retorted, but then shook her head. "But you're wrong. It's not that. I simply wouldn't leave a _friend_ behind. I don't have many of these, you know..."

He grumbled something inaudible to himself.

"You're a coward," Roka suddenly let out.

"What? No I'm not!" he protested promptly.

"Oh yes, you are." With a grin she leaned back at him and closed her eyes. "And a bloody idiot too." Now she giggled. It made sense. Unexpected as the thought might be, but it was the only thing that tied everything together. "It's not about the Doctor at all, right? You simply can't admit that you don't want me to leave you."

Satisfied she felt him wince and at the same time tighten his grip a little. Not a single word left him, but this reaction confirmed her thoughts.

"So..." she continued, a grim smile still on her face. "From a logical viewpoint... this eliminates every reason for us being enemies, right?"

"You're cheating!" the Master let out. "Screw your damn logic!"

Roka looked up and met his eyes. There was so much going on in them, it was impossible to tell, before he glared back, swallowed, and then hastily looked the other way.

"You're acting silly." She chuckled. "As if I wouldn't know what your round face looks like."

"Oi! It's not round!" He loosened his grip around her to turn her head away.

"Oh, it is. And if you wouldn't have grown a beard you'd still look like a rascal," she taunted giggling.

"Pfff... and you look more like a boy than like a woman!" he retorted with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Maybe... but I'm hecking cute like that." She chuckled and looked back up to meet a sour look.

"Not even a bit." He turned away again, but peeked back, a slight smirk now on his face.

Then he grabbed her head and turned it away again, making her giggle.

"Ah, I get it. You are afraid I could punch your face, right?"

"What?! Don't you dare! No punching my handsome face!" He laughed, only short, and stopped immediately, as if shocked about it.

And Roka felt how some weight got lifted off of her. Somehow the ice was broken, she could sense it. "And there I have soooo many reasons to do so."

"Okay, okay. Let's forget about being enemies," the Master finally agreed. "And you stop nagging, you weakling. It will heal."

"Who says it's about the wound?" She couldn't suppress a nasty smile when she felt him wince once more.

"N... no reason is bad enough!" he protested.

"Stealing someone's first kiss and then pretending it didn't happen _is_. Believe me," Roka countered and at the same time cursed herself slightly. That had been a bit too much information.

The Master growled. "I said, forget abo... wait... I did _what_?" Silence spread for a moment.

"Nothing... you... imagined it." She bit on her lip.

"But you had a girlfriend!" he objected, ignoring her words.

"Hey! I told you it wasn't like that!"

"Fine, but... you're half a century old. That's _old_ for humans. How can you not..."

"Glitch..." Roka grumbled, letting it be explanation enough.

"Oh," he made and then snickered. "Oh, this is good."

"It... totally isn't!" she protested and folded her arms. "What... _was_ that even? I mean... that was totally random!" She threw a glance up and met his gaze, earning herself a venomous stare, before he grabbed her head with one hand to turn it away again. "And that's random too! What's your problem?"

The Master chuckled and leaned down, so close his breath brushed her ear. "Random is nice. I like chaos. But it's hard to control." His heartbeat sped up a tiny little bit, as did Roka's. She stiffened at having him so close. Would she turn her head _now_... she could just... "I'd just do it again." He muttered into her ear. "Steal a few more of these."

Then he receded and Roka could breathe again. "You... always simply _take_ whatever you want," she said, a bit confused. It was so hard not to turn around, to ignore her racing heart.

"Don't want you to run away." He shrugged behind her.

Run? No... that wasn't at all what she wanted. But he gripped her too tightly, making her struggle to get free.

He snickered. "See? As I thought."

"Wha...? No... It's just...!" she protested.

"Just what?"

"I... uh..." Her mind blanked for a moment.

"Spit it out. I'm curious," he sneered.

"Tha... that's one hell of an age gap!" she blurted out.

There was a tiny moment of silence, before the Master started to laugh out loud. Roka bit her lip and cursed under her breath. That had been random. And not at all what was on her mind. But he had stopped gripping her at least, giving her the opportunity to react, to...

He was still evil, her brain reminded her. And dangerous. And a bad person in general.

Roka abused his distraction, squirmed a little to get free at last, before her own mind could spit out more unnecessary things.

The Master still chuckled to himself. "If that's your only problem..."

She cut him off as she turned around and grabbed his shirt with one hand, making him go silent in an instant, as he realized that he was staring right at her now.

"Didn't I tell you?" She tugged lightly at him, dragging him down to her, without meeting much resistance, but a lot more confusion. "Ah, right... you were too busy _ignoring_ me." A mean glint sat in her gaze, countering his expression. There was hardly any space left between them now and Roka saw the same longing in his eyes that she felt herself. The Master cupped the side of her face with one hand, swallowed, and Roka stretched a little, letting her words faintly brush against his lips. "I'm done running away."

Her whole being was aching, trembling, as she hesitated, feared to do the wrong thing. It was like electricity dancing through her, and a moment later she stopped thinking altogether, as the Master pressed his lips onto hers, almost forcefully, like a diver gasping for air. This time she responded immediately, stirring this unfamiliar flame all too willingly, while she clutched his shirt tighter.

Then she got grabbed at her hood and roughly torn away. She stumbled and caught herself, looking around perplex, before she saw they weren't alone anymore.

"Ugh, you can't be serious. I said _talk_ , not..." The younger Master wrinkled his nose, at both of them. Behind him stood his blue friend and studied the scene. "Had I known _this_ would happen, I certainly would have killed you on sight."

Roka blinked a few times at him, before her brain caught up again. And suddenly she could only grin widely and very nastily at him. "Actually..." she retorted, folding her arms in front of her chest. "I'm pretty sure you were just enjoying this. _A lot_."

"You have no idea," the older Master seconded and snickered at the disgusted face of his younger self. Then he raised and let his neck crack, before throwing glances at everyone, giving them all his roguish grin. "You know what? I'm up for some trouble. Let's mix this place up a bit."

For a second he looked at Roka and she almost feared he was running away again. But then he gave her a wink and she understood. They had all of time and space to fully solve this, but there was only _one_ chance to have some fun with his past self and his former friend. And suddenly Roka was very eager for some trouble herself.


	32. A promise

"Ey, slow down a bit, will'ya?"

Darook's voice tore Roka out of her thoughts and she remembered the small guy that was sitting on her shoulders like a child. As much as she disliked it, his idea actually hadn't been bad. Like this he couldn't forget her and it made conversations a lot easier.

"Ya travel with him, right?" he asked, as she slowed down her pace, falling back a bit behind the two Masters. They were heading towards the festival again, after deciding the inn wouldn't be suited.

"Uhm, so far. You could call it that."

"Centuries old... can ya believe that? I mean... me kind lives for maybe sixty or eighty years, when we're lucky. Well, yours doesn't get that much older." She had no idea what to answer and kept quiet. "Say... ya two are from me future, so to speak..."

"Yes... but there are rules," she hesitantly said. "Time can be rewritten and..."

"Mhm... I see. Too bad. Would have loved to know if he's running off or not."

Roka felt a little sting as she remembered, that he had done exactly that.

"Y'know... I don't look like it to ya, but I'm old. Have maybe five years left or so, if it's much." He said it calmly and with no regret in his voice. "Might sound a bit funny, but since I told him, he's a bit weird." After a small pause he asked, "Does he have family?"

"Uhm... probably not." If he ever has had they were gone now anyway. Together with all the other Time Lords.

"Mhm... thought so. Don't laugh at me, lass. But I think, he'll run off, before I die. Can't blame him. Wouldn't want to see me only friend dyin' either. Guess I kinda owe him to shut up 'bout it." He sighed. "Took me in, ya know? Was a street rat my whole life before."

"You're probably quite useful to him." Roka smirked. "He said something about a smuggler network."

"Yah, brought him some fine contacts in return." Darook laughed to himself. "Thought I might earn me enough to leave that moon and visit the planet below once. Always dreamed of it. And now I'm here. Somewhere else entirely. Even another time! Blimey!"

Hadn't the Master told something about diamonds he had left behind? Roka glanced at the two ahead and pondered if he might have left them for that reason. An odd thought, considering that he usually cared for no one but himself.

Darook chuckled as she gave no answer. "That's a lot of secrets ya have there."

"Sorry..." she mumbled and really meant it.

"Ah, it's alright." He folded his thin arms on her head. "Just wish I'd knew a bit more about that chap. No idea, who he even is. And that after ten years, can ya imagine?"

"All too well," she mumbled and smiled.

The small guy suddenly snickered. "Ya seem to be a bit on the shy side, ey?"

"Uh... I... I don't know. It's just... guess I'm just not really used to people. The glitch, you know." She shrugged apologetically. It was true though. Usually she had no idea how to properly interact with most people. They all seemed to follow a fixed role-set. One she hadn't been able to pick up. Even after years of observing.

Darook laughed. "And then y'arund _that_ guy? Well... he's a weirdo too. Might be fitting then. Hope, y'are not as cruel as him though. Man, I've seen him doin' shit, I swear, no one should do that."

"No, I don't do those things," Roka objected. "I... maybe some. Not the cruel stuff." But she also never interfered. Sometimes she could prevent a few things by bombarding him with stone cold logic. Truth be told, it didn't even bother her too much, as long as she didn't have to watch...

"Ya know what's really weird?" Darook pondered. "Sometimes I get the feelin', one of his hearts might have a tiny good speck somewhere."

"Impossible," Roka chuckled.

"No, really. He's hidin' it really well, but... Once, or maybe twice, he really did surprise me." He sighed. "Don't mind me. Probably just don't want to die, knowing I spent the rest of me existence with an ashole."

She knew all too well, what he meant, but also was curious. "What did he do that surprised you so much?"

"Ah, tiny things. Here and there. Seemed like mere coincidence sometimes, but they were too calculated, ya know? And there was that one time... mhm... We're almost there, but... whatever. One evenin' there was that girl. Tiny thing. Smaller than I even. Looked human. Or maybe whatever species the Master is. Came in, strolled through all those rough bastards, eyes wide with fear. And that big chap came to her, had a head like a shark and grabbed the poor little thing. And the Master... usually throws everything out that even remotely resembles a child, but that one... I don't know. Maybe the small thing reminded him of someone..."

"Why do you think?" And of whom could she have reminded him?

"Heh, ya should have seen it! He jumped over the counter, rammed his fist in the shark-face, grabbed the kid and was back with me within a heartbeat. And then he stared at that girl, as if he wanted to... I don't know. If he were a normal bloke, I'd say he wanted to hug her. Me Pap used to look at me that way, when I got meself hurt."

That was indeed strange. Again she looked at the two men ahead and wondered what might have gone through his head at that moment.

"What are you two conspiring back there?" The two Masters slowed down and waited until Roka had caught up.

"Ha! Was just about to organize us some dates for tonight," Darook blabbered happily. "Right?"

"Uh... without me," Roka laughed.

"Och, I'm good at that, believe me!"

"Oh no," one of the Master's snickered. "He's in coupling mode."

"Pshaw! Don't listen to them. Just tell me what you're after," the blue guy continued undeterred. "Species, gender, age."

"Huh? Wait, what?"

"No preferences? Well that'll be easy then."

She rolled her eyes. "Just don't, okay?" she moaned and looked up in search for help. But both Masters were just grinning and looking as if they had to endure this all the time and were happy Darook had found a new victim.

"Maybe we find a klughlo. They have very..."

"No!"

"Not? How about zetfruris?"

Roka groaned irritated.

"Ya have to like _something_ , lass."

"No, I don't," she retorted frustrated and heard a chuckle from ahead.

"Well... I bet there are other humans around then. Any gender preferences?"

"I swear, I throw you down if you don't stop," Roka grumbled. As much as she had started to like him before, now he was only annoying.

"Nah, your kind is totally obsessed with..."

"I'm very fine without!" She dropped him into a heap of snow and walked away, ignoring his curses.

"Now that would be new with humans," the young Master said with a wicked grin.

"Are you for real?" She gave him a mean look. "Ugh, I should have stayed back and finally get drunk!"

Darook was already catching up again, wearing a wide grin, although he was full with snow. As he tried to climb Roka's back again, she roughly pulled him down, stretching her arm out to keep him away. He weighed almost nothing.

"Abuse the other two for a ride." She scowled at him. "I really don't care if you forget me."

"Och, don't be mad at me, lass." He grinned widely and apologetic, holding his hands ups. "I'm just havin' fun. But ya can of course carry me all the way like that. Me legs will thank ya."

She sat him down to the ground. They had finally reached the festival anyway, and a tiny little bit satisfied she saw a rather big area that was still gleaming here and there. The fire from before must have swallowed a good portion of the place. Maybe she should go looking for goods to scavenge. Actually... the first thing she should get was a warmer jacket. Hers wasn't very suited for the nightly temperatures of this place.

"Wait a second!" she called out and vanished between a small group of people near a cart that sold clothes. She snatched a black, padded jacket away, shrugged it on and was back with the others within seconds.

"What is it?" She looked at the two Masters, who were both staring at her now.

"I think..." one started.

"...we will have very good use for your abilities," the other ended, both wearing a mischievous grin on their faces.

* * *

All of Roka's pockets were heavy with money. It had been surprisingly easy to steal it from the merchants around. They felt so safe inside their booths, they didn't even _consider_ someone sneaking in and grabbing it. Well... to be fair, no one but her _could_ have snuck in like that. Right in front of their noses.

It were moments like these where she really wasn't sure she wanted the glitch ever to be gone.

Additional to the money Roka had also stolen a bunch of small gadgets and a few substances. Those were for herself though. Souvenirs and a bit of stuff to experiment with later on.

There were still surprisingly many people around. Most of them probably nocturnal species, although she saw even some humans here and there, making her wonder in what time they were here. Definitely far into her own future. She remembered how it had taken her quite some time to get used to the thought that her kind would eventually reach the stars and spread all over them. Her prediction would have been that they wipe themselves out long before they could reach that state.

There was a solid building in the middle of the place, made of stone, maybe six or eight meters in height and with a flat roof. The other three were waiting up there. She could make them out, sitting on the edge and gesturing around. Of course... they were being lazy while she had to do all the work.

In the shadow of the house Roka whistled a few tones and a ladder got lowered down to her which she swiftly climbed up. Having arrived she revised her thought from before. They had setup a bunch of smaller machines over the roof. A few in every corner and some in the middle. It was hard to make out, but didn't some of them look like speakers?

"Got everything?"

Roka turned towards the Masters and couldn't for the life of hers suppress a giggle. The younger one was wearing sunglasses and was playing with something suspiciously looking like a microphone on his ear, while the older one wore an e-guitar on a strap around his neck. Darook was hopping around the machines, plugging in cables here and there.

"Okay... mind finally telling me, what you two are up to?" she asked with a grin and started to empty her pockets.

"Oh damn! That's a _lot_ more than I thought you would get," the younger one blurted out.

"Told you," the older retorted grinning. "She's my little master-thief." He gave her a wink, indicating that he was very well aware of the wordplay, and started to put some bank notes into something that could be a small cannon. "And what we're up to?"

"Utter chaos..." the other one said happily.

"...and a bit of heavy metal!" ended the older one while getting out another pair of sunglasses, sliding it up his nose.

"You two are absolutely crazy!" came Darook's protest from behind. He seemed to be done with his part.

"I know!" both said simultaneously, grinning like idiots.

"This will be..."

"...spectacular!"

They filled the rest of the money into hand-sized, round containers and another gun-like device, before rushing to the roof. Roka had the hardest time of her life getting the grin off her face. She had awaited lots of things... but certainly not them giving a concert.

"Ey, human!" the young Master called her over. "Can you sing?"

"Uhm, not really. It's more like a pathetic squeal," she admitted with a shrug.

"Shout? Growl?"

"Err... no. I'm afraid I'm not equipped for metal."

"Too bad... this regeneration also isn't. The last one was great."

"Oh yes," the old Master reminisced. "Sold out all halls. Every. Single. Time."

"You played in a metal band?" Roka giggled.

"First on the drums, then lead singer." The Master winked. "Well... shouter. Whatever. I can organize some tickets for you."

"Seems like we're going instrumental only this night though," the younger one pouted. "Eh, good enough."

"Now that ya mentioned it... Aren't ya missin' some drums, boys?" Darook scratched his head.

"No!" both protested in unison.

"Right, right... was just askin'. The speakers and shields are set up by the way."

The two threw a grin at each other and placed themselves at the edge of the roof. The younger one tapped the device on his ear.

"Ey, scum down there!" His voice didn't sound like through a usual microphone, but as if it were just louder than usual. A few people looked up, but most just ignored them. "Yeah, I'm talking to you guys!"

The older Master played in some rifts to accompany himself. That finally made a lot of the visitors stop and look up.

"There. This is fine." He leaned down a bit, glancing over the roof. "You know why I like places like this? No? Because it only needs a tiny spark to let everything go to hell." Murmuring came from below, someone called something, but the Master ignored them and just grinned. "Look up and praise your lord and Master!" he called out happily and fired the gun into the air.

 Countless bank notes sailed down into the mass of people, accompanied by a dramatic guitar solo.

Roka giggled in the back and Darook gave her a questioning look.

"If I wouldn't know that chap better, I'd say he just did somethin' _good_ ," the small one pondered.

"Oh, certainly not. Look down." Roka nodded towards the edge.

The people were paralyzed and puzzled at first, but soon the first of them started to grab the bank notes to shove them into their pockets. And when even the last one was realizing what was going on... chaos descended upon them all. Everyone tried to get some, people were pushed around, trampled over, brawls broke out all around.

Roka grinned at that, as she understood what their plan had been. And now they were standing there, one playing some matching songs to the scene below while the other one waited until things calmed down, only to throw down one of the balls, that exploded into a rain of money over their heads, getting the chaos going once again.

"Ey lass, you're a strange one," Darook raised an eyebrow when he saw her grin. "There will be lots of deaths tonight. And injuries. And other bad stuff. Always thought the Master's the only mad man who can grin at such a sight."

Roka shrugged. "Looking at it from a logic viewpoint, they do neither good nor bad. You can hardly blame anyone for people being greedy."

"Not sure I like your logic," the blue figure grumbled. "Or theirs. Smugglin's fine, but actively... well, none of my busyness, I guess."

Once more Roka shrugged. She sure as hell wasn't going to ruin their fun. Especially since she knew it could have ended a lot worse than that. Instead she sat down on a small but long box that was standing nearby, getting out some of the devices she had stolen earlier. She also remembered the small bottle of mead in her jacket pocket and got that out too. Like that she could do all three. Drink, tinker and watch the Masters having fun.

What an evening.

Of course the security had been notified. Somewhere on the edges of the place uniformed men rushed towards vehicles. The Masters looked at each other for a moment, then nodded. The next dramatic guitar solo barely drowned out the loud bangs of explosions that shook the ground and illuminated the night.

Roka gaped at the flames. The Masters must have prepared the vehicles with explosives, while she was gone. Well, she _had_ expected some casualties tonight, after all. Now though the whole security would rush to this place. They really should run now.

Instead the Masters stepped back from the roof's edge and kept quiet, while suddenly a greenish light bubble formed around them, emitted from the devices at the corners.

"Energetic camouflage shields, modified with perception filters," the older Master explained grinning.

"Guess it's time to leave," the other turned away from the roof, took Darook with him and then, without turning around or saying another word, the two climbed down the ladder and vanished into the crowd.

"Tch, typical," Roka smirked. "Not even saying goodbye."

"What for?" the Master chuckled. "I'm still here." A vague smile played on his lips. "Time's a strange thing, isn't it? To think that I was here, but can remember it only now..." He turned to the roof's edge again, observing the panicking masses down below and having an eye on the security. They wouldn't find them inside the shields.

After another while things calmed down again and Roka looked up from the device she was building. Her gaze wandered to the Master, who was sitting on the roof's edge, letting his feet dangle, while he absently played a few calm and almost relaxing tones on his guitar. His attention wasn't with the still chaotic masses below, instead his eyes were fixated on the stars above. As if those gleaming dots were a lot more interesting than the madness he had spread.

Roka wondered what he was waiting for, but then simply continued with her device.

"Tzz, how do you intent to get drunk on that weak stuff?" The Master was suddenly next to her, the empty bottle in hand and watching her. Then he nodded towards the device in her hands. "What's that supposed to be?"

"Och, just an experiment."

He was right, the mead had only made her a little drowsy. But at least her mind stayed clear enough for this. She sat down the small drone onto the crate. It was a weird thing, formed like a butterfly with delicate transparent wings and roughly as big as her hand. The wings were floating up and down, but the device itself was dormant. Attached to its back was a small orb, filled with shimmering liquid. Roka herself wore a thin device on her ear that she activated now, letting a holographic grid appear in front of her.

"Just need to implement a basic flock AI. Shouldn't take long," she explained absentmindedly.

The Master sat next to her on the crate and observed the butterfly drone.

"Is that Borealicyat in the sphere?" he asked surprised. "It's highly explosive. They get it from inside auroras."

"I know. That's why I need it."

She was so focused on the task that it took her a few minutes to fully realize that she was alone with him again. And that there still were a lot of unresolved things. Carefully she glanced up, seeing him observing her. His look was hard to read, but he obviously was thinking about something.

"What do you see?" he finally asked quietly. "You're always staring at me like I'm the most fascinating thing you've ever seen." A smug grin sat on his lips for a moment. "Well, of course I am..."

Roka giggled, while finishing her code. "Yes, kinda." Then she deactivated the device on her head and smiled. "Don't think you really want to hear this though."

" _I_ think I do." He put his feet onto the crate and grabbed Roka, pulling her against him, before folding his arms around her. "What is it your weird mind is putting together about me?"

She gulped and looked up. On her back she felt his hearts beating, a tad bit faster than usual. Not as fast as her own though. Not that she would dislike sitting like this, but after today... Hastily she looked down again, silently thanking the alcohol in her blood. Without she probably wouldn't be able to speak at all now.

"Hm... how to put it... you're like an unsolved mystery," she said. "Like a puzzle I know I can never put together. A book with too many missing pages." Her hand started to play with his sleeve, tugging at it lightly. "I see... a wanderer... on a never ending search for an unknown truth." He moved his hand towards hers, brushed feather light over her palm and put his fingertips against hers. Roka stared down at this, before she carefully pulled her hand away. "I see... someone who couldn't be bothered less by what walks on the ground. Living or not. Because... because your eyes can't see them. They are always glaring upwards." Even when she risked quick glance this was the case, and only her words made him look down, surprised. "I see..." she continued, now strangely calm. "I see a man that falls in love with the stars, each time he looks up into the sky."

Some moments passed, before he hummed confirming, then murmured, "Poetic... How could I not? How could I look at something so vast and beautiful, without wanting to hold it in my hands?"

Roka found no words. There was no answer. But she had found a truth at last. Eventually though she spoke, slow and careful, "Isn't it... lonely? Chasing after them... it's not even possible."

"I know," he said quietly and sounded sad. "But I can't change it. Those two hearts of mine... they were lost the moment I took the first glance upwards." He chuckled slightly and squeezed Roka a little. "Don't laugh at me."

"Why would I?" She smiled to herself. "Chasing after the impossible... after all it's what I do myself. Let me get up."

He let go of her and she moved away, picking up the drone and placing it onto the ground, before activating her device again. "Is it save to deactivate the shields?"

The Master nodded and pressed a button on a small device. "What's it for?" he asked curiously, first looking at the drone then towards Roka, raising a surprised brow when he saw her grim expression.

"For doing the impossible," she said, cracking a smile. "I'm sick of being a ghost. So I will _make_ them remember. At least... if this works. I could only find a psychic device... At least I could amplify the signal."

Taking in a deep breath she tapped against a dot on the holographic grid and closed her eyes to focus on the drone. Nothing happened, but after a while she got shocked by the device.

"Dammit!" she scowled and grumbled.

"You amplified it _too_ much. No wonder you get shocked" the Master snickered.

"Weaker and it wouldn't work... well... obviously it's not enough anyway. So much to this." She stared angrily at the drone as if this were its fault.

"Try again," the Master said, got up and stood behind her, lying his hands around her head, his thumbs gingerly pressing against her temples.

Roka looked up and saw him nodding reassuringly. A smile wandered to her face and again she concentrated on the drone, picturing it flying up. Slowly its wings started to move this time and emitted a faint turquoise glow, while it raised higher and higher. She squealed happily at the sight and started to tap some dots inside the grid. The butterfly got duplicated.

"A holographic clone? What do you need that for?"

"Just watch," she advised smiling, producing more and more duplicates.

After a few seconds she had a dozen, then duplicated those and soon got a few hundred. Those got duplicated too.

"Uhm... are you sure you need that many?"

"Right... that won't do."

She tapped a series of dots and nodes and suddenly the whole swarm got duplicated. Then again, and once more, until there were millions of glowing butterflies raising towards the sky. From below she could hear people murmuring and calling out. They seemed to finally have noticed it, and the thought of thousands of eyes watching the procedure of shining drones raising into the atmosphere made her heart beat faster in joy.

As the copies had reached their destination they looked like a huge swarm of stars spreading across the night sky. Roka took a last deep breath and concentrated on the original drone, sending a signal out to the sphere on its back.

From one moment to the next the whole sky was ablaze. The sphere exploded simultaneously in every copy, sending a wave of green fire around, forming the stylized outline of a crow with spread wings, accompanied by a blue and purple aurora.

"I can't make them see _me_ ," she said grinning. "But they will remember _this_ for a very long time."

 All she had to do now was to fix their position and this signal would stay up there until the energy source inside the device would run dry. Carefully she put it down, hid it in a niche somewhere on the roof and looked back upwards.

"Alright, alright... You did it... I'm officially impressed." The Master glared at the sky, then at Roka.

"Wouldn't have worked without your help." She smiled back sheepishly.

A few minutes passed, both glaring at the aurora.

What would happen now? Everything felt so uncertain.

Eventually the Master appeared in front of her and she lowered her eyes towards his.

"You have to answer this. And I need the truth. No excuses, no anything," he said and sounded deadly serious. Roka nodded and he continued, "If I won't let the Doctor go, will you conspire against me?"

She didn't avert her gaze and nodded again. "Yes. Although I would try not to interfere with anything else."

"Why? You said you wouldn't go back."

That made her smile. "Because thanks to him I had a home for the past half of my life. Thanks to him I saw what no other human is ever able to see. Thanks to him..." She lowered her head and mumbled, "...I met you."

The Master slowly nodded. "Then I will think of a way we can both live with. In case..." Suddenly he stepped closer, leaving barely any distance between them. He grabbed both of her hands, his thumbs gently stroking over her knuckles. "I don't need another enemy. I don't need someone with me that doesn't _want_ to be there. I _do_ need... you to be absolutely _sure_."

He waited until Roka looked up at him, before he continued, calm and composed, although she saw that there was a fight going on inside him. "If you want to go... I... would let you. Just say a word."

He swallowed, then gripped her hands tighter, interlocked his fingers with hers and drew her carefully closer. "Don't go away." His voice was low, his eyes filled with a mad gleam. "Be my shadow. Be the crow on death's shoulder. Follow me into the darkness, into the abyss of insanity and far beyond. Come with me to places no one else would dare to set foot on, and set fire to others, leaving nothing but chaos and ashes on our way."

Slowly he leaned down, drawing her slightly closer, his eyes staring right into her soul, making it impossible for her to look away. "Roka Akerson, I once offered you to see the stars, and all of time and space. I hereby renew my offer and ask you one last time." He hovered only inches above her, his voice so low it was as if she felt it more than heard it. "Will you come with me?"

"Aren't you a bit dramatic?" she murmured back and smiled sarcastically.

"Oh, definitely." An eager glint was in his eyes. "Does it work?"

"Absolutely." She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and almost completely closed the distance between them, without ever breaking eye contact. "I will."

The Master stared at her with wide eyes, a smile slowly creeping onto his face as if the realization of her words reached his mind in slow motion. His thumb gently slid over her bottom lip. "And what do we do about... that?"

"Oof, I don't know," Roka said, playfully innocent. "But if you don't run away again, I _might_ have an idea."

"I think we might have the same."

And he lowered his lips onto hers, sealing the promise in a long and savoring kiss.


	33. Something new

On their way back to the TARDIS Roka finally started to feel the exhaustion. Her steps slowed down increasingly, her head foggy and her eyes barely able to stay open.

"It's only a few minutes away," the Master snickered at her and Roka cursed quietly at his superior biology.

"Just a second," she panted and leaned against a tree.

Her head hurt and she wondered how it could be so warm, although it was still in the middle of the night. The mark on her chest hurt and had also started to burn like fire on her skin. Maybe the little bit of alcohol she had drunk hadn't been such a good idea after all. Small black spots started to dance in front of her eyes and when the Master let out a sarcastic remark she could only stare at him questioning, because the sound didn't reach her ears. Instead there was only a louder growing high pitched noise filling out her head.

All she saw was the Master suddenly reaching out to her, before everything vanished into blackness.

"Typical... I make an effort and you just drop dead," he remarked snidely as he caught her mid-fall.

Just unconscious, he noted relieved. But her body temperature was way too high, even for human standards. He placed a hand on her forehead and grumbled, before her threw Roka over his shoulder like a sandbag and covered the rest of the way to the TARDIS.

Whatever her stupid body was concocting he sure as hell wouldn't let her die now.

"Weird little human," the Master murmured to himself. "What have you done to me?"

She awoke with a start, breathing heavily, heart still racing from a strange dream she couldn't even remember anymore. Or had it been real? Maybe she was dead after all. It was so dark and her head felt heavy and dizzy. And it was incredibly cold, despite the blankets, so much that her body started shaking violently.

After a while she got the idea that opening her eyes might help. It took a while until they got used to the darkness and she could make out a few shapes. This was... her room in the TARDIS. How had she gotten back into it?

Something was off though. She couldn't point at it for a while, being distracted by the cold shivers. But then she saw it. There was a shadow where none should be. A vague silhouette of a person sitting next to her on the bed, head resting on folded arms on his knees. Was he sleeping?

It wasn't that dark, now that her eyes had adjusted. Lots of her souvenirs emitted light and faintly illuminated the room. She saw a bunch of opened packages of different meds lying on the floor, a roll of bandages, blood soaked tissues and other stuff.

Confused she looked down and found herself wearing a different shirt. The wound had been cleaned and bandaged.

"You're not supposed to be awake yet," came a low voice.

Roka carefully sat up and clenched her teeth at the pain, still shaking.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice a bit croaky. "And why is it so cold?"

The Master stretched out a hand to feel her forehead and cursed. He flung himself from the bed and got a glass of water and a few pills, reaching both to Roka. After a short, skeptic glance she swallowed it down, but still kept her eyes on him. He looked... tired. What in itself was strange enough.

"The wound got infected." He ran a hand over his face and blinked a few times. "I'm not a medic, no idea what helps best. It's just... antibiotics. Stronger than those from earth though." As he saw her still shaking he sighed. "That planet's days were a lot longer than what you're used to."

"I noticed."

"Well... lack of sleep, alcohol, stress, blood loss... effectively killed your immune system." With strangely slow movements he leaned towards her and placed his hand back onto her forehead. "Oh, and blood poisoning too. Cause you idiot decided to stay there instead of getting cleaned."

Roka grinned tiredly. "That was worth it." She tilted her head. Who knows how things might have gone otherwise. "At least if it doesn't kill me."

"Not when treated properly. But your body temperature is dropping rapidly right now. That's why you're freezing. So get your stupid human head back under those covers," he grumbled. "No idea how you guys manage to stay alive for even a day."

She tightened the blankets around her shoulders. "You don't look much better. Never thought I would ever see a tired Time Lord."

A faint smile whizzed over his face. "Never thought I would ever try to _heal_ someone. You were out for quite a while."

"Thanks." She smiled vaguely. "But I don't think I'll drop dead if you get some sleep." Another shiver ran through her, making her doubt her own words. She nodded towards the spot where he had sat before. "Can't convince you anyway."

Slowly he sat down and yawned. Roka took the opportunity and moved to his side. She felt bad and cold and didn't want to be alone. And her head was way too foggy to think about this too much.

"Sleep, idiot."

"Not if you don't," she protested.

He chuckled lightly. "I'm way more robust than you, silly."

"Mhm, maybe... do that pills work? I'm still freezing."

Suddenly he grabbed her blanket and tore it away, before he pushed Roka down and then lay next to her, putting the covers over them both. "Since you insist." He grinned smug at her perplex face. "Did you know we can regulate our body temperature?"

"Good for you." Roka huffed and wanted to plainly turn away from him. But she decided against it and instead crawled a bit closer to snuggle against his chest. He indeed was a lot warmer than usually and she almost instantly stopped shivering. "That's really convenient," she mumbled smiling and clutched his shirt. "Can I keep you?"

A silent chuckle reverberated through him and he slid an arm under Roka to pull her even a bit closer. Her foggy mind realized how it didn't feel weird. Although, not long ago and this would have scared her. But now she couldn't imagine anything better and would have given a lot to stay like this forever. To just listen to the soothing sound of his heartbeats until sleep overtook her again.

The next time Roka awoke she felt a lot better and well rested. Even the pain had gotten less. She was alone though, making her wonder if she had dreamed everything up. The thought made her grin. That would have been a really weird dream.

Carefully she sat up and her gaze fell onto the table where a glass of water stood, next to two pills and a small piece of paper. "Drink!" was written onto it, accompanied by a grumpy looking smiley that made her giggle.

She drank it and went to take a long, hot shower. In front of the mirror she then observed the mark on her chest, tracing the cuts with a finger. Seemed like it was the right time to finally learn Gallifreyan script. It wasn't as big as it had first seemed, a bit smaller than her palm and she had rather small hands. And it still hurt, making her frown. Such a stupid thing to do. But now it was there and being mad wouldn't help it.

Bandaging herself was a small challenge, but she sure as hell wouldn't ask for help. It also reminded her that she hadn't worn a bra anymore when she had woken up, making her blush all over. It didn't help to know that he couldn't have bandaged her otherwise.

Not much later she slid into the kitchen to get some coffee. There she also found the Master, a cup of tea in hands and staring at the ceiling in thoughts. A smirk appeared on his face when he noticed her.

"Really... sick or not, how can you sleep so much?" he mocked.

"Easiest way to get rid of you," Roka countered. "It's so nice and quiet."

"Tch, I bet you just want to dream of me."

Roka wrinkled her nose to show disgust and earned a chuckle. The Master set aside his cup, before he grabbed her shirt and took a look at the bandage. "Oh, you're not as useless as I though. Keep it clean." He flicked her forehead. "Coffee?"

"Uhm, yeah... was planning to make one." She automatically moved to the counter, but the Master shoved her back, brewing some himself. Roka looked at him with tilted head. "I'm not sure I trust this," she finally said. "You being nice is always... creepy."

She couldn't see what exactly he was doing, but the smell that hit her nose shortly after was amazing. Finally he turned around, handing her a cup on a small plate. "Maybe I just enjoy bragging." He winked at her, before turning to the Star Trek food machine, pushing some buttons. "You need some... proteins... vitamins..."

"Uh... what?" Roka blinked confused. "Oh... food, yes, good idea. But I can do that myself." She giggled and pushed him away, letting the machine produce some bacon and egg sandwiches and a glass of orange juice, that she downed promptly. "There. Perfect breakfast."

The Master raised an eyebrow, shrugged and then simply left the room. Roka followed, while hungrily devouring the sandwiches, only now realizing that she hadn't eaten since they had left the planet.

She let out a small noise of surprise when they entered the console room. It was completely littered with all kinds of components, gadgets, screws and whatnot. He obviously was building something. After both sandwiches were gone she blew at the coffee and took a sip, letting out a deep sigh.

"Seriously, you're so in the wrong profession." She took another sip. It was delicious. "People would bury you in money just to get a coffee like that."

A satisfied smirk wandered to his face as he picked up the small device he had been working on. Only to put it down again to rummage around in his pocket. As he finally made a find he approached Roka.

"Since you will stay... I guess it won't hurt to give this back to you."

And he held out a small key to her. The same one he had made her hand over months ago. For a long moment she could only stare at it. Not even the Doctor had ever given her one, although she had no idea if he forgot because of the glitch, or if he had simply never fully trusted her. In the end Roka had stolen one. Not out of ill intend, but to be able to return even if he forgot about her during their travels. And now the Master put it into her hand, closing her fingers around it with a smile.

"I also reversed your intruder state. Everything back to normal."

"Are... are you sure?" She still stared at the key. "I know my ways around here."

"So do I. Make any trouble and I'll take it back." He grinned meanly at her.

Roka smiled happily and leaned against the console while sipping at her coffee. "What are you building?" She nodded towards the mess.

"Thinking about that Vortex Manipulator gave me some ideas..." He picked his work back up and unscrewed some parts. "Regeneration is a nice thing, but not always possible... so..." With a tug he ripped away some small conductors. "An emergency teleport could be quite handy. Tied to my life signs."

"Wouldn't that be... uhm... useless?"

"Not since I got everything together for a proper resurrection." He threw the gadget behind him and picked up the next one.

"Resurrection?" Roka wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

"Mhm... Time Lord invention. But not easy to do. You need the essence of the person, which can be easily stored inside a crystal. A biometric imprint, in case you don't have a body at hand. And some life force... alternatively a fanatic cult." He snickered. "Idiots."

"Right... you still look the same." She remembered the Doctor telling her the Master had refused to regenerate. She giggled. "So, you're basically a zombie."

The Master let out a laugh and grinned over to her, putting another gadget into her hands. "There, make yourself useful and get out those chips. "He pointed at a few. "Or I'll eat your brain."

"Would technically not even be cannibalism," Roka laughed and started to dismantle the thing.

When she was done the Master put a hand-full of parts next to her. "I need an isolated Grampid-conductor. Double spiraled and cross-wired." He observed her closely while saying that, what made her grin.

Not even ten minutes later she handed him the result, seeing him observing it with an astounded look. "I should stop underestimating you."

She just grinned. "How about another coffee as payment?"

"Was it that good?" He laughed. "I just mixed random stuff together."

"Well... "She emptied the rest. "You'll have to make another one to try it." A roguish grin sat on her face.

The Master looked up, then at the empty mug, then suddenly grabbed Roka's collar and pushed her against the console. And before she could even react to that he already kissed her, letting her heart rate skyrocket. But he was gone too fast to let her do anything.

"You're right... tastes good." He grinned and let go of her, before leaving the room.

"Damn you," Roka cursed at him, when he came back. "If you surprise me like that more often I'll end up getting a heart attack one day."

He let out a laugh and sat both of the cups he held onto the console, before he stepped back in front of Roka. "Now, that would be a shame, wouldn't it?" Slowly he snaked an arm around her waist to pull her against him. His other hand was above her heart the next moment. "Don't worry, I'll take good care of that silly thing."

Being held like that actually made it only worse. But at the same time Roka was glad that he hadn't decided to 'forget about it' again. Although that thought also didn't let her heart rate drop.

He grinned at her flushed face. He was so close to her face that his lips brushed against hers, making a shiver run down her spine. "My, my. Is it that bad?" He pulled her tighter against him, as if the mere thought of any space between them was bothersome. Roka didn't protest and leaned into his next kiss, savoring every second of it. If it were for her they wouldn't ever need to stop this. Her hands clasped his shirt to pull herself still a bit closer even.

Eventually he let go of her. "Not so greedy. There's enough of me for the rest of time."

Roka smiled at his smug grin, but then she noticed his eyes slightly twitching. Not much, but noticeable enough. "Maybe not that long," she mumbled.

His grin faded, but not completely. "Told you to not waste any worries on it. Sure, it's getting worse a lot faster than usual... but I won't give in to the drums for as long as I can."

"Is there nothing I can do?" Roka asked hopefully.

"No..." A warm smile was in his eyes though as he cupped her chin. "But you're a great distraction." He leaned down to her once more, but retreated when Roka came closer, letting her chase him for a bit, before he let her go and stuck out his tongue at her. "Speaking of distraction..." He took up his work again. "I will teach you to fight." A quick glance wandered over her. "You're pretty weak, but small and agile. That can be a great advantage."

"Uhm... I'm... not sure I want to fight," Roka blinked at him perplex.

"But _I_ want you to be able to _defend_ yourself." He pointed his screwdriver at her. "Since you won't blow up reality there is no need to avoid danger anymore. Well... I will stop trying." He chuckled and put some wires onto the board he had built. A few movements later and Roka saw the air distort around it, before it was gone. All that was left was a tiny translucent capsule.

"I guess you can't resurrect humans then," Roka pondered.

"Nope. Not possible."

She watched fascinated how he put the capsule into a small cannula that was filled with a green glowing liquid. Then he pulled up his sleeve and injected the stuff into his lower arm, where the liquid made his veins glow for a while, letting them pulsate, and distort his face in obvious pain, before it eventually vanished. "Ugh... unpleasant, to say the least."

Roka stroked a finger over the spot, intrigued by how nothing was palpable. When she looked up she met his eyes and he smiled warm and cheeky. It was such an honest expression she felt her heart literally jump, making her hastily look away again. Why was _this_ happening all of a sudden? It made her fidgety and she grabbed one of the components to play around with it, just to keep her hands busy. She also took a step aside to get some distance between them.

"A galaxy for what is going through _your_ head right now." The Master snickered.

Roka pointedly looked away, feeling her head getting warm, and her heartbeat was way too fast again. She felt his gaze on her, what made it even worse and she tried hard to ignore him, rotating the small component in her hands. Then she remembered the coffee and busied herself drinking it.

After a while she risked a look and saw him building a new thing.

"More teleports?" she asked to keep her mind from being stupid.

"Not quite. I'm modifying this Vortex Manipulator." He nodded towards the device that was lying nearby Roka and she took it up to observe it. Last time she had seen one had been on Captain Jack's wrist. Until now she hadn't even been aware that there was one inside the TARDIS. "So far I extended its reach, made it rechargeable by energy blasts and even sunlight. Not recommended, would take ages. And... if this thing here is done, I can implement the TARDIS' translation matrix into it."

The thing also reminded her unpleasantly of the stupid game the Master had proposed to her down on that planet. It made her frown and instinctively put a hand above the mark.

"No, don't worry," he said reassuringly. "No games. But I thought you might want to use it anyway."

Perplex Roka looked up, suddenly feeling slightly uneasy. "I'm not your puppet," she mumbled. "Training me to fight, modifying the VM... you're planning something with me... and I'm not sure I'd like it."

He stepped in front of her and took the device to screw open its back and insert a tiny chip. He then slid it onto Roka's wrist and activated it. She froze, her heart suddenly racing for a whole bunch of different reasons than before. Right now he could send her away, somewhere to an unknown location, trapping her there. Her hand clenched to a fist.

"Seems like I have to shorten the straps," he said more to himself. "But it's working fine." Then he looked up and saw her worried face, his eyes wandering back to the device and he seemed to understand. A smile wandered to his face. "I won't send you anywhere before you don't know how to return." Careful not to hurt her, he tapped on the mark on her chest. "And if you ever get lost, I can find you."

Relieve flooded her and she sighed. "Right, a psychic link. Your younger self told me," she explained at his questioning look. "Still... what am I supposed to do with it?"

"Well..." He grinned widely. "Building an intergalactic black market will take some time... and I can't run around forever salvaging valuables." His fingers loosened the device from her wrist again. "And since you like exotic places and danger so much... I thought I could use you to do some errands."

Roka's eyes widened excitedly. "Really? When? Where? How do I use this thing?" She tried to snatch back the Vortex Manipulator, but the Master held it out of her reach.

"Not so fast." He laughed at her. "And not before I can fully trust you."

Perplex she opened her mouth to respond something, but then closed it again, remembering with a sting on guilty conscience that there still was an unresolved issue. She scolded herself for having actually _forgotten_ about it until now. How could her head be so besotted that she hadn't spend a single thought on the Doctor?

"While you were wasting time sleeping," the Master mocked, either not aware of her reaction or ignoring it, "I thought about how to solve this... problem. And if this is necessary to keep you around..." He paused for a second, as if it was taking a lot of effort to even think about it.

"Don't harm him," Roka begged. "Please, don't... don't give me a reason to hate you."

"You're a horrible person, you know that?" he suddenly remarked. "Making me do this... making me forget about hating him. How dare you, human?" For a moment it was hard to tell if he was serious or not, but then a smile came to his face and he grabbed her shoulders, leaning down a bit, just to place a kiss onto her forehead. "I think I found a way we can both be more or less content with."

Roka let out a breath and dropped her head against the Master. Maybe, after all the trouble they went through, there would be some kind of happy end to everything. Not that things ever truly ended, but at least for a while...

"Let me finish this." He took the Vortex Manipulator and picked up some other stuff. "Then we're off."


	34. The Doctor

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Eventually Roka hopped onto a free spot on the console and watched the Master while he put the last modifications to the Vortex Manipulator. All of this felt still weird and a bit surreal to her. From one day to the next everything had changed between them, making her wonder what was going on inside his weird, twisted mind. Did he even know himself? Or was he as much confused by all of this as she was?

Roka winced surprised when he suddenly was in front of her. "Daydreaming?" He grinned up, and leaned closer, hands at the console to both of her sides. "Of me?"

She blushed and tried to look away, without being able to suppress a smirk. "You really despise my personal space, eh?"

"Indeed, I declare it a new enemy of mine," he said with a childish grin and leaned further against her.

With an amused glint she pushed him away. "Stop flirting with me."

The Master snickered and grabbed her with both arms around her waist, pulling her down from the console. "No. It's way too much fun for now. Especially since it makes you so uneasy."

She pushed her hands against him to get free. "It... doesn't." Eventually though she gave up and instead dropped her head against him. "It's just... weird."

"Mhm, it is... I hope you're ashamed."

Roka chuckled. "Not even a bit."

"Tch, typical." The Master shoved her away, flicked her head and went to activate the TARDIS controls. When they landed he turned around, leaned against the console and waved Roka over.

"Here is what I will do. You won't like it, but neither do I. Which I guess makes us even." He took a deep breath and continued with a quick glance at the surrounding. "Giving up the TARDIS is out of the question. Won't do it. But I will go out there, let my guards retreat and I will unlock the library." When Roka cocked an eyebrow he smiled. "That's all. Won't have to see his stupid face and sooner or later he'll notice that no one comes to feed him."

So the Doctor would be trapped on earth. But at least as a free man. And there were still UNIT and Torchwood. It wasn't unlikely that he would one day find them somehow. Looking at the Master Roka saw that he probably had the same thought, as he cracked a smile.

"Yeah, he'll find a way to make trouble again. I honestly would be disappointed if not." He pushed himself away from the console and opened the doors.

They had landed in front of the building. Everything looked exactly the same, but now snow was falling from the sky.

"Uhm... how long have we been away?" Hadn't it been autumn when they had left?

"Och, maybe... two... or three months." The Master wore an innocent smile.

Of course. He couldn't just let his oldest enemy run without doing at least _something_ bad to him. Roka decided not to do him the favor to comment on it. Instead she silently followed closely, remembering the guards and the fact that they got her position transmitted at any time.

"I hope they won't just shoot me," she grumbled and stepped closer to the Master.

"Not as long as you're with me. And if they do, I'll hop back in time and kill them all before we land," he said happily.

"You must be the only person who can say that and smile so widely." Roka grinned and at the same time felt a little bad for finding it funny. But she couldn't think too long about it.

Something was off... it was weirdly quiet and there were no lights and...

"Where are they anyway?" she pondered.

"Not where they are supposed to be," the Master grumbled.

They had reached the library and he pushed against the door, finding it swinging open with no resistance. It was dark inside and nothing was to hear. The Master flicked on the lights and together they entered the room, crossed it and at last stood in its middle.

"Gone..." Roka looked around perplex. How had he managed to escape on his own? "Well, seems like we're too late."

An amused chuckle came from the Master. "At least I don't have to see that stupid face of his. And with that out of the way..." He grabbed Roka from behind and pulled her against him, holding her so tight it almost hurt. "It means you're mine now," he muttered into her ear, his voice dark.

She liked how that sounded, a shiver running down her body when his breath brushed against her ear. Maybe, for once, he wasn't just playing with her. The way he spoke and acted... whatever this was, it was something true. A tiny piece of reality after running away from it for so long.

She squirmed in his grip, wanting to turn around, and he let her, pushing her against a shelve, one hand at her back, the other cupping her chin. A glint was in his eyes as he lowered himself down to her.

"You won." He kept a careful distance, just enough to not touch her, but enough to make her heart go nuts. "Game over."

Roka blinked perplex at him, her mind fighting over if she wanted to know what he meant or rather wanted to stretch just a tiny little bit further. What in all of time and space was happening to her? This longing was so strong, it made her very soul ache. And she saw that he could read it in her eyes, enthralling him. But she could read the same on his face, and it was as if he was fighting with himself for control, for not losing it to something primitive like this.

"You proposed a game to me, back then," he said, slow, never taking his eyes off of hers. "You wanted to keep me entertained to buy more time for the Doctor."

That day belonged so far into the past, it was as if it came from a different life. Everything had gone so fast back then and it had been the only thing that had made sense. There was no such thing as arguing with a mad man. Insane, chaotic, but clever and dangerous.

And fascinating.

He was still the same. And somehow not at all. At least from what she could tell. Back then she had barely known anything about him. Who could say what had stayed the same and what not.

"Your plan worked after all," the Master finally said with a grin. "And so well I can't even be mad about it."

Roka gulped and then giggled. "Not even a bit peeved? And there I made such an effort." She poked out her tongue.

The Master straightened and suddenly grabbed her collar with both hands, easily lifting Roka up from the ground, sliding her back up the shelf until she was at his eye level, her toes barely touching the ground anymore. "We will play a new game." He grinned nastily at her and she didn't dare to move a muscle. "It's the hardest of them all. And you can't even win, what a pity. But lose and you're dead. Gone. No able to _ever_ return, do you get that?" Roka nodded perplex and as good as she could in that position. "It has a name. People call it life." Now the grin faded and his look got serious. "And _your_ life is still mine. Do you get that too?"

Again Roka nodded and this time he let her down to her feet again, still locking his eyes with hers. There was something in them she couldn't quite grasp. But then she understood. It was a deep and old wound, and a never fading pain that had stayed behind. A silent, wordless begging to never leave him. No matter what atrocities he would commit, how many galaxies would burn because of him and how many lives would end through his hands. Not even when the drums in his head would drive him into insanity at last.

He took a deep breath and his voice was suddenly low and soft. "Good. Remember this." Gently he stroked a finger along her face and leaned down. "No one but me is allowed to take this life from you."

It was as much of a threat as it was a promise. Roka swallowed and nodded once more, stretching slightly. And when he didn't retreat this time she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and drew herself against him, not able to hold herself back any longer, and kissed him. He responded immediately, urgently and with a hunger that devoured them both. A fire they tried to extinguish with more fire, a hole too big to fill, knowing they would destroy each other in the attempt. And not caring at all.

The Master retreated slightly, barely letting go of her lips. "This includes yourself," he almost growled against her, his eyes so dark, Roka felt as if she might drown would she stare into them for too long.

"Then keep me entertained for the next centuries," she let out between breaths, drawing him closer.

He captured her lips again, fierce, but astonishingly gentle, and only short, before he let go completely, smirking amused at her hungry eyes and ruffling through her short hair. "Oh, I can promise, you won't get bored so easily. And now let's leave this place. I've had enough of it for a lifetime."

"Mhm..." She took a deep breath to calm her heartbeat and took a last look at the room. "Although... I'm still curious if my device would work," she mused smirking.

"Actually... why not. Let's try it out. If it does I'll have more for my collection." The Master turned and headed towards the exit. Roka followed closely. "Or... I could blow up this planet."

The look he gave her indicated clearly that he was joking, but Roka still nudged him. "Think of all the thing's you'll be missing if you do. Books, pizza... uhm..." she pondered for a few moments. "Err... actually... that's all."

The Master laughed out loud, leading them upstairs towards the office room. He pushed the door open and let Roka enter first, following behind.

She turned around and observed the room. It looked exactly the same. And it felt so weird being in here after all that had happened. Her mind got hurled back to the memories of this time. Of how she had been a prisoner, a hostage. Willingly and so sure of the glitch getting her out if it in no time. How would things have progressed if that had been the case?

She peeked at the Master who was opening a small package. He still was a dangerous man, hard to predict, his mind twisted and constantly tormented by the drums. But there was so much more to him than only what was visible on the surface. She would have never found out. And it made her wonder once more why he seemed to be the only person who was able to remember her.

Now he waved her over and then pushed her into his office chair, reaching over the unfinished device and a small vial with a deep purple liquid in it. "There, finish it." He smiled at her, then turned away to rummage through all the stuff he had carried up from the junkyard.

The Master looked through the crates, picking out some of the things that might come in handy at some point, throwing away others. It wasn't though as if he really needed any of those. The TARDIS had everything he could ever wish for. But the drums were too annoying and he wanted to busy himself until Roka would be done with the device.

He threw a quick glance over at her, as she sat hunched over and concentrated. The sight made him grin to himself. Such an odd human.

Then his features smoothed again and he stared at a broken gadget in his hands, not really seeing it. What in all of time and space was he even thinking? Humans... no... people in general meant trouble.

He threw the broken thing into a corner and went to another crate. All of this could only end bad for him. It was stupid, and even with the Doctor free there was no way to tell if he could trust her, knowing all too well that people not necessarily needed a _reason_ for betrayal.

But this moment... when he had been sure she wanted to leave... that she had only waited for an opportunity to get away from him... It wasn't the first time he had travelled with someone, and sooner or later they all had realized that they wouldn't get whatever it was they had wanted from him. Never had it bothered him too much.

Only this time... it had hurt. And that was definitely new. This wasn't... _him_. And for a second the thought made him angry.

"Found something interesting in there?"

Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and when he looked at her face the anger vanished. She always made those big eyes, curious, a bit cheeky and also slightly fascinated. But never judging.

Maybe it was worth the risk.

"No, just junk." He shrugged and took the device from her hands. "Not bad. That might actually work."

Roka was proud of her work and carefully took it back. It was weird to finish it after all this time. And as she followed the Master deep into the belly of the building she suddenly had to giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just..." she had to think for a second how to explain it. "It's like the end of a story. The protagonists return to where everything started, and although nothing has changed everything feels completely different."

He huffed and gave her an amused look. "Ah, the hero's journey, right? But it's a bit out of order here."

"So?"

"Well, first of all, you are faaaar away from having defeated evil." He stuck out his tongue at her. "And secondly you'd need someone to train you... oh... well, that actually fits. You're basically my apprentice now, after all."

"Is that so?" Roka chuckled. "That would make you... my _master_ then." She giggled.

"Anytime." He winked at her. "But I hope this isn't the end. I have big plans."

They had reached the chamber with the whale in it. The huge creature opened its eye, glaring at the figures in front of it. Roka wondered if it was conscious of them. And she remembered the heartbreaking singing it had put into her mind so long ago.

"Why could I hear the whale and you not?" she pondered.

"You're an easy target for _any_ psychic attack." The Master snickered. "Humans have such weak abilities, if any, that it's no struggle to get into your heads." He took the device and put it onto the glass, before activating a counter. "You're also quite empathic. That makes it even easier."

He made sure everything was working, before they turned around to leave the building. Back on the surface they walked over to the jetties. Both leaned their arms on top of a short wall and waited. "Any second now," the Master predicted.

Just a moment later there was a deep rumbling, like an earthquake, reverberating through the ground beneath their feet. It made Roka hope the device had only dissolved the glass and nothing else. Then she realized that removing the glass would cause the water to flood the building. And that through quite the big hole.

At the building she saw water getting sucked in for a while, before a bit of pale skin emerged. The creature struggled a lot, before it finally was able to free itself from the pull, forcefully shooting out of the hole, breaking it open even wider and letting out a weird sound that could be joy or relief. With quick and agile movements the whale plowed through the water, then jumped out of it and let out another sound, before it shot away towards the open sea.

And then... the air around it distorted as if from heat, bent and twisted for a few moments before... With a loud plop the distortion vanished. Together with the whale. It simply was gone.

"Tch, what a disappointment," the Master lamented. "Good thing I haven't wasted my time with that thing."

"Yeah, wasting it with me was a lot more fun," Roka retorted.

"Maybe. But I mean something else. Only males of that species can teleport."

"Oh... so there wouldn't have been any eggs."

He grumbled agreeing, but then his face got an amused look. "They can teleport through time and space, you know. Only in a limited radius though. And only every hundred or so years." Suddenly he laughed.

"What's so funny about that?"

"Oh, this is good," the Master chuckled, then grinned at her. "This species is known to be very aggressive. And didn't it look a bit like a sperm whale? A very... pale one."

Roka's eyes widened as she understood. "Almost white. Indeed!"

"Did you know, the story of Moby Dick is based on real encounters with a... well... huge, white sperm whale?" The Master beamed at her. "I have a hunch, I know to where this thing has teleported."

"Shall we look?" she suggested, now excited.

"Oh, absolutely! I like that story. It would be too good to be responsible for it!"

"That would be amazing!"

"You, err... know that thing killed lots of people, right?" The Master raised an amused eyebrow.

"Screw that. Without we would lack a really great story." Roka crossed her arms and started to walk back to the TARDIS, hearing the Master snicker at her from behind.

"You have such twisted morals. I like that," he remarked amused as he came after her.

She shrugged and still couldn't get the smile from her face.

This was it. The end of this story, she thought. From now on there would be a new one. A completely new life. One she would have never imagined. One she wouldn't exchange for any other. What did it matter that she would spend it with a mad and evil alien, when the mere thought made her want to squeal in joy.

"Stop looking like that!" The Master threw an put-on annoyed look at her. "I can't stand that much happiness around me."

"You'll get used to it." She poked out her tongue.

They reached the TARDIS, and as the Master opened the doors Roka turned around one last time, glad to finally leave this place behind. And still she wanted to preserve the memory. It was part of her now, of who she had become.

A moment later she turned around and stroked the blue wood of the door while the Master went inside.

As she looked up, she saw him freeze, then wince and suddenly collapse onto the floor.

A few seconds passed, until her brain finally caught up, then she let out a small shriek and wanted to rush after him. But as she was inside the door, she got pushed aside as another person entered the TARDIS before her. Someone in a long, brown coat. He recognized her presence as he bumped into her, saw the worried look on her face and smiled.

"Just a small electric shock," the Doctor explained. "He'll be up again in no time."


	35. Reversed roles

The Doctor rushed inside the TARDIS and bent down to the unconscious Master, throwing one of his arms over his shoulders and heaving him out of the room. All of it happened so fast Roka wasn't able to overcome her shock before the Doctor was out of sight.

Where would he take the Master? What would he do? Bind him in chains? Lock him up somewhere? Roka darted inside the console room, anxiously pacing up and down. At least she could be sure the Doctor wouldn't harm him. That wasn't a thing he would do. Not even after being imprisoned himself for months and... She shook her head. No, the Doctor wouldn't do anything bad.

After the initial shock had settled, she started to feel anger welling up. Why had he waited here? Why couldn't he have just went away? How could he appear here, right now, and ruin everything she had fought for, tearing apart her future, her wishes and....

Startled she stopped in her pacing, running a hand over her face with a deep, frustrated sigh.

Who had she become to think like that?

She had no right to be mad at the Doctor.  _They_  had stolen  _his_  TARDIS. He had more right to be here than the two of them. But it didn't help against the brooding anger inside her. Might it be unfair as it was, but there was no way she would just accept it.

Her gaze wandered over the room that was still littered with all sorts of components, before it fell onto the Vortex Manipulator. Hastily she grabbed and pocketed the device, a plan already forming in her head.

The sound of steps made her spin around. The Doctor entered the room, obviously unaware of her presence. After all that time with the Master it felt weird to be invisible again and for a while she simply watched the Time Lord while he first got the TARDIS moving and then inspected every corner of the console room, the components, the cables. He even ran the simulation on the console.

"Oh, no. What have you done there?" he muttered shocked to himself.

Finally Roka decided to make herself visible and tugged at the Doctor's coat. He jumped and spun around to her, his eyes widening in recognition.

"Oh my! Roka, you're alright! And alive! And even unharmed!" he exclaimed and hugged her happily.

"Stop that!" She wound herself out and looked angrily at him. "Of course I'm fine. What have you done with him?"

"With... oh! Oh, don't worry." He beamed all over his face. "He is locked away. Can't do any harm now! You're safe again, I promise."

She glared daggers at him, although she was aware that he had every reason to act like that. How could he know?

"What if I told you that he hasn't harmed me at all?" she said carefully. It was a lie, of course, but she was still alive, so it counted in her eyes.

The Doctor surveyed her, his head tilted, while he bobbed up and down on his heels.

"You do look a bit pale. Are you really all right?" He rubbed his neck and smiled. "Weeeell, you definitely look unharmed otherwise. I'm glad you could hide."

Of course, Roka thought, he couldn't know that the Master wasn't affected by the glitch.

"How did you escape?" she couldn't resist to ask.

"Ah, that was surprisingly easy," he grinned widely. "The hypnosis the Master had on the guards wore off. And then they let me go and vanished themselves. I mean... he apparently didn't even pay them... so I'm not surprised." For a moment he looked thoughtful. "Although it's definitely odd for him to just leave like that."

"Guess, he got distracted..." Roka smirked to herself, but also realized that this had only been possible because the Master had jumped a few months into the future, instead of bringing them back to the right time. So his childish act had brought him into this...

"Anyway!" The Doctor spun around to the monitor again. "I bet you want to stop his plans as eagerly as I do. Know anything about them?" Once more he looked over the data of the simulation.

"There were no plans," she answered drily. "He was researching my glitch."

"I see, I see. Ohhh! That's why your time stream got frozen? Is that true? I didn't know this would happen." A quick glance wandered down to Roka. "I'm sorry, I should have looked after it." He pressed a few buttons. "Really... cracks in reality itself. What a powerful effect, that could have been devastating!" His eyes wandered restlessly over the data.

"It can't happen," she sighed. "And..." She had to tug at the Doctor again, seeing that he had already forgotten about her. In all those years it had never bothered her much, but now it annoyed her immensely. "There were no plans," she repeated when his attention came back to her. "For some time we thought my death would cause... this." Her hand waved to the simulation. "But it turned out that it won't."

With a few button presses he let the simulation run and it showed a heavily simplified model of the universe, tiny lines cracking it open, emitted from a single center-point. The effect stretched out, then suddenly stopped, halted for a second, and begun to revert back to the center, before it all vanished.

" _That_  probably was the intend... killing you, finding out how to disrupt the reversion process to make the damage permanent..." The Doctor gaped at the console in terror.

"Doctor! For god's sake! There were no plans!" Roka snapped. "He didn't want to kill me!" At least not for  _that_  purpose. She better told nothing about the Master owning her very life.

The Doctor turned around to her. "It almost seems as if you were... defending him!" And his face suddenly displayed concern. "Oh, no, don't tell me... Ah, of course." He sighed. "I'm so sorry, Roka." He looked at her with his big worried eyes. "You're probably hypnotized. But don't worry! It will wear off. Just needs some time."

"I'm not!" She stared at him flabbergasted. "Really now, Doctor. Just hold still for a few moments and let me ex..."

"You were away for months, who knows how strong it got," he mumbled, pulling out his sonic and scanning her.

Roka let out a loud frustrated sigh. "Please, just listen, Doctor!" she pleaded.

"Don't worry" he said again with a reassuring smile. "It won't last. And when you can see clearly again..."

It was no use, she realized. Of course, how could he believe her after knowing the Master for so long? Though, knocking on the edge of her thoughts, a nasty voice appeared, asking if he  _might_  be right. Could it be? Could she simply be hypnotized? The Master had seemed surprised by all of her actions, but was that real? Had it maybe just been another game, guided by himself, for...

No, she shook her head, simply not  _wanting_  to believe this.

Roka interrupted the Doctor's mumblings. "Where have you brought him?"

"For now... to the library. Uh, sorry. I know you like to go in there. I will find something better later."

Roka turned around to leave the room.

"Hey, where are you going?" the Doctor asked. "If you stay I can..."

"What do you think?" she snapped back. "Not that you would remember anymore in a minute." She waved goodbye and left, heading to the library, while biting her lip. It wasn't fair to be angry at him. He couldn't know of anything that had happened while they were gone.

And still she was raging and wanted to punch something. Just for the sake of it.

It took her a while to find the Master. The Doctor had brought him to one of the reading alcoves, where he still lay unconscious. Roka squatted down in front of him and, with a deep sigh, leaned her forehead against his arm. This wasn't how she had pictured everything. It made her feel so helpless all of a sudden. Even more so since she knew that this actually was the best outcome. For the Doctor, for earth, maybe for the whole universe.

This man in front of her, he was trouble, raging, burning chaos, ready to leave nothing but ashes and corpses along his way.

And all she wanted was to stay by his side.

"Seems as if I like you more than is good for me," she mumbled to herself and wanted to get up again when she saw a smirk appear on his face all of a sudden.

"Told you so." One eye opened and he peeked at her.

And before Roka could overcome her surprise he had already grabbed her with both arms and dragged her up, so she was now completely lying on top of him, staring startled into his smiling face.

"L... let go!" she flushed and squirmed.

"You really should eat more, you're light as a feather," he said grinning and rolled to the other side, effectively trapping her between himself and the wall, squeezing her tightly.

"You're hurting me," she grumbled irritated, but he didn't loosen his grip. Roka frowned at him. "What are you doing?"

He squeezed her even tighter, causing the wound to sting nastily. "I'm angry... and neither of us wants me to destroy this library, right?" He growled darkly. "And I'm sooo close to doing exactly that."

"And you have to crush me for that?" Roka scowled, then sighed. Eventually she chuckled and asked provocatively, "Or do you just want to cuddle me?"

"Bit of both," he admitted and loosened his grip a little. "It's quite effective." And the anger in his gaze got accompanied by a mischievous glint.

"Well... as long as the poor books stay unharmed..." She smiled and lowered her head to bury it into the folds of his shirt, breathing in his scent. Who had she become to simply ignore how dangerous he was, only to be able to stay with him. And even though it hurt a little, she actually enjoyed being so close.

"You're a horrible person," the Master said. "Just hanging out with me now, and later you hop away and have adventures or something like that."

She looked up and gave him a confused look.

"I bet you're happy that everything is reversed now," the Master continued with furrowed brows. "See? There you have your precious Doctor back."

A smirk spread on her face, fading into a grin. "That wasn't my plan... but... don't tell me you're jealous."

"Oh, don't be daft!" he protested, but pulled her even closer.

Roka chuckled into his shirt and for a minute simply enjoyed listening to his heartbeat, while he played with her hair. It felt so weirdly natural. In no way could she have felt more safe and warm than in this exact moment, making her forget about mentioning the Vortex Manipulator. How could this have happened? How could she have... have what? There was a thought scratching at the edges of her mind, a word, a phrase. So familiar, so often read and heard, but... she pushed the thought away, before it could take on a solid shape.

Muffled steps resounded on the carpets. The Doctor must have come in, but the Master didn't move an inch. Not even when it was clear that the other Time Lord stood right behind them.

"I know you're awake," the Doctor said in an somewhat apologetic voice. "Sorry for the rough treatment, but you really don't tend to make things easy."

Roka heard his clothes rustle as he shifted around. She looked up and saw an ever deepening frown on the Master's face. When he met her gaze his eyes softened a bit and he nuzzled her head, holding her a bit tighter than anyway. Almost as if he would fear the Doctor could take her away.

"Come on, Master. Talk to me," he pleaded. "We can surely find some sort of agreement."

As it became obvious that he wouldn't just leave, the Master finally let go of Roka, very hesitantly, and turned around, sitting up.

"Can we agree on you getting your ugly nose out of my reach?" he growled.

The Doctor's face lit up, ignoring the jibe. In the back Roka slowly sat up, taking care to not make herself visible to him.

"I will keep you in here until you talk to me properly," the Doctor said with a smile that told that he thought this was one of his best ideas. "And until you tell me what your plans were. Tearing reality open... that's harsh, even for you."

The Master let out a laugh. "Of course you would think that." He stood up and rolled his neck, producing a sickening cracking sound. "Have fun finding any plans in that... there were none."

"But... you even wanted to kill a human for it!"

"A human... oh, right." He threw a look behind him. "Interesting... the data makes you remember that there  _is_  someone, but no details."

The Doctor's face took on a confused expression and he looked behind the other man. For a second it seemed as if he wouldn't see Roka, but then his eyes widened. He turned towards the Master again, fidgeting with his sonic.

"Could you... release the hypnosis? I know you like to play with my companions, but..."

She froze and threw an anxious glance at the Master's back, pleading in her mind that it wouldn't be true.

He only started to laugh. "Ah, I see," His voice dripped with contempt.

Roka slid from the alcove the same moment the Master turned around to her, grabbing her shoulders and staring into her eyes. His voice commanding her, "Go, jump into the pool."

She blinked perplex at him, then her eyes darted back and forth between the two Time Lords. The Master let go of her again, not without giving her a smile. "Your will got too strong. Can't control you anymore."

The Doctor seemed only partially satisfied, probably because he couldn't understand why else she would be here. "Weeell..." he started, but didn't seem to know what to say. "No plans?" He finally brought out, still staring at the two.

Again the Master laughed at him. "Oh, plenty. Not with your precious earth though. I actually thought you would make yourself at home there." A nasty grin spread on his face.

"Did that... did that..." he replied, bobbing up and down on his heels. "But... I got some tech from Torchwood to survey the area. Knew you would come back. But now..." His face lit up and a warm smile wandered towards the two. "How about tea?"

The Master growled. "Put your tea where no one can see it!" His arms folded in front of his chest. "I'm certainly not going to have nice old-lady-chats with you."

The Doctor sighed deeply and nodded. "Roka? Could you come with me?" He threw a side glance up to the other Time Lord.

"Why?" She squinted her eyes at him. "I'm very fine right here."

"But he is dangerous!"

It obviously was enough for the Master. He let out a frustrated grunt and wanted to grab the Doctor's tie, but as soon as he got in reaching distance a shock seemed to go through him.

" _Bastard!_ " he screamed, tumbling backwards, his eyes now filled with rage. "I swear I will rip you apart!" His hands made a respective gesture. "Keep you bloody TRADIS, but  _let me go!_ "

The Doctor took a step backwards. "I'm so sorry, Master. I can't." His eyes pleaded to understand his reasoning. "We are the only two left. You're my responsibility. I have to..."

"Keep me as your dog?" the Master shouted in rage. "Oh, yeah, that suits you well. You love having pets,  _don't you!_ "

"Master, please. Let's just..."

"No. No, Doctor." The Master shook his head and clenched his fists. "I'm not going to listen to any of your nonsense. I don't care about your stupid earth, I was even willing to forget about _you_ for a bit."

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably, probably not sure what to make of this. "I can't... You would just... run around an kill people again. Wouldn't you?"

The Master grunted. "Sure. Because that's the absolute only thing I'm ever doing, right? Not denying anything here, but come on. Do you really think, I have no other hobbies?" he sneered, but then his features suddenly stiffened, his brows furrowed and a deep anger seemed to be bubbling up from somewhere deep inside. "As if you could understand," he spat out eventually.

"Understand what?" the Doctor pleaded for an answer. "Talk to me, I can help."

"Help!" The Master let out a short, humorless laugh. "I've had enough of your help. I've had enough of your face!" He reached out, but seemed to remember the shock from before and retreated. "Talk? Fine." He pointed a finger at him. "I'm willing to stay away from you and earth. You know why? Because I'm sick of both. You have no idea... You have your TARDIS, you hop around and have your little adventures." There was a noticeable pause in which he only glared daggers at the Doctor. "Do you know what _I_ have?" he continued dangerously calm. "I had the war. We both had it, but for me it wasn't so easy. It didn't stop there, it never left me. I couldn't press a button and make it all vanish. Not that I didn't try. There was Utopia. I should thank you for that, would have been a shame to pitifully die there... and yes, maybe it was a dumb idea to steal your TARDIS. But I just wanted to leave it all _behind_ me!"

"I... I know." The Doctor lowered his head and played with his sonic. "I understand that... but..."

"But you locked my travelling destination anyway... Look at me, Doctor. That dreadful year you reversed so heroically? It was _your_ fault!" the Master grinned nastily. "I just wanted to get away. But you left me stuck again. And not only that..." His voice got very quiet all of a sudden. "Not only that..." He shook his head. "I am a murderer? Yes... yes I am. But what are you, Doctor?" The sheer look of terror in the other one's eyes seemed to enthrall him. "Our entire race... what have you done?" And then suddenly he shouted, " _What have you done!_ "

Roka jumped in surprise. There was so much pain in his eyes, that she wordlessly stepped to his side and took his hand, feeling him wince at her touch, but not recede.

"I had no choice!" the Doctor defended himself. "You know it! The war would have stretched and endangered all of time."

Silence. For almost a minute the two men stared at each other. Roka barely had a clue what must go on in both of their heads, but the Master clasped her hand so tightly, it couldn't be pleasant.

Finally he straightened. "Before you ever call me anything again, Doctor," he said in a cold tone. "Look at your own blood soaked hands before. I don't care about your reasons... you never cared about mine."

Helplessly the Doctor opened his mouth to say something, then he closed it again, his eyes wandering to Roka once more, down to their hands, his brows raising surprised, then back to the Master's face. "I don't want any bad for you. You have to believe me. And let Roka go. She has nothing to do with all of this."

A deep, almost animalistic growl emerged from the Master's throat and he put an arm around her. "No," he said in a deep voice. "That one is mine."

She looked up to him and, although his aura was seeping anger, she could feel nothing but a deep warmth.

The Doctor swallowed, his hands still fidgeting with the Sonic. "It's... if you want to get away from everything... we can still travel together," he offered with a smile.

"Out of the question," the Master grumbled.

"I..." the other Time Lord's eyes were filled with uncertainty as they darted back to the Master. "I can't... I'm so sorry. It's just not possible. I _have_ to..."

And with that he suddenly turned on his heels and almost fled the room, leaving the two behind in deep silence.

"Well," Roka said carefully and took a step back. "It's a shame about the TARDIS. But if he doesn't let us go... guess we have to vanish on our own."

She chuckled at the Master's questioning and still slightly angry face and pulled out the Vortex Manipulator.

"Oh!" he grinned suddenly from ear to ear, but dropped it immediately. "If you go now, you can't come back. Never." He looked at the library. "This is your home after all."

"Stop questioning me." She poked him. "Might it be madness or not, I chose my side."

He grinned at that, but lay a hand on top of the Vortex Manipulator as she wanted to put it on, and shook his head. Then he slightly pulled up his sleeves, revealing thin bracelets, made of twisted metal threads that emitted a faint glow.

"Can't teleport with those," he grumbled. "They prevent me from leaving this room, apparently also from getting too close to the Doctor and... I did some tests on people with those some years ago. If you send someone through a teleporter of any kind their organs get... err... liquified." With a sigh he let his arms sink again. "For now I'm trapped."

"Mhm... I see." Roka ignored the fact that his tests had killed people. She would have to ignore a lot of this in the future anyway. Instead she took his hand and observed one of the bracelets. "Slight purple glow... might be induced with high charumium energy. No dematerialization possible. I could overload it with a crossloaded framori chip or..."

A chuckle made her look up, wearing a questioning look.

"Nerd." The Master stuck out his tongue and chuckled some more.

Roka grinned back. " _You_ have to talk. Help me think, you can tease my ape brain later."

"Oi, wasn't even going to," he protested. "Not yet." Then he took his hand back and pulled down his sleeves again. "If you can find my laser screwdriver it should be enough, probably. They are modified though. That's why I get shocked when I come to close to the Doctor... coward."

Roka nodded. "Alright. I will probe him for details and also look out for your laser."

She was about to leave, when her arm got grabbed. Perplex she turned around again.

"You..." The Master swallowed. "...will come back, right?" His voice was toneless, but doubt was written all over his face.

Roka stared perplex at him, then suddenly had to smile. "Always so grandiose, and now suddenly you get insecure?"

All she got a venomous look. He let go of her, crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked to the side. "Go on, get lost."

"I'm back in a minute. Promise."

"I don't care," he grumbled, then glared at her. "What? Buzz off! And bring me some snacks while you're at it."

"Aye, aye, Master," Roka chuckled and left.


	36. The sound of drums

It was the strangest of feelings Roka experienced when she came back into the console room. The Doctor had removed all remnants from the tinkering and now stood there, observing the terminal and humming a melody-less tune.

With a tug at his sleeve she interrupted the Doctor's humming. He turned around, wearing the familiar look of surprise and sudden recognition she was so familiar with. And now it was mixed with wariness.

She stepped back a bit and lowered her head. "I... I just wanted to say sorry. So much has happened and it was all so fast and..."

The Doctor smiled and took on his glasses. "I couldn't take a proper look at you before," he said. "You changed quite a bit. Especially your eyes... and your posture."

"Uh..." She wasn't quite sure what to answer. "It's... been quite a while, I guess."

"Mhm..." He made his funny thinking face, head slightly tilted. "If I convert it to earthen time it's been... something around seven or eight months."

Had it really been that long? It hadn't felt like it. Something inside her wanted to say that she had missed him, but the truth was, she hadn't lost too much thoughts about him during that time. A painful sting of guilty conscience went through her.

With the need to regain his attention every few minutes she started to tell what had happened. Not in much details and she left out everything they had done during their travels. She also left out that the Master owned her life, that he had dug out all her memories and cut her chest open. And of course she didn't mention everything that had happen afterwards. _That_ really wasn't any of his busyness.

"My, my, that's a story!"  the Doctor let out. "Seems like you two really have become... friends," he stated in a tone that was somewhere in between worried, happy and surprised, and smiled. "That's an accomplishment."

"Yah, it... is." She smiled, then asked hopefully, "Can you really not let him go?"

"That... I can't do that. I know what he will do otherwise and I won't even ask what he made _you_ do in the past months." A bit uncomfortably looking he rubbed his neck and took a breath. "You... might want to consider the possibility that he is using you for something. Don't get mad yet!" He held up his hands in a conciliating manner. "I've seen him doing exactly that way too often. Please... at least keep it in mind."

Roka swallowed her anger and nodded. "Okay. I will. But only if you consider that he might _not_."

"I... alright." The Doctor took his hands down.

"Could you at least take off those handcuffs that can liquify his organs? They scare me."

A strange look appeared on his face. Was that a hunch of fear? It was gone too fast to really tell. Then he shook his head and a smile came to his eyes.

"Not yet at least. And... ah, maybe it's better he doesn't wander around too much. Last time he managed to hack the doors so every single one was leading into the lava core." Roka didn't even ask why there was something like that inside here. "And then flooded my room with jelly. Not to mention he reprogrammed my radio to play the same two jazz songs over and over."

Roka snorted. That sounded a lot like him. Somehow she didn't even wonder that the Master wasn't imprisoned here for the first time. Although she wondered how he had escaped back then.

"The handcuffs are completely harmless! Yeah sure, he shouldn't attempt teleportation, but other than that... I also changed the core to craforin metal, so he can't get too close to me."

Check! She had never heard of that metal, but that shouldn't be a problem.

"Mhm... fine." She sighed and pondered how to inconspicuous ask about the laser. "Seems I need to find something to do again. Have you... by any chance... taken this screwdriver thing he had? I really would love to take that thing apart." She put on a wide grin. "Haven't seen something like that before."

"Oh, the laser screwdriver..." He shook his head. "No, better not. It's rather deadly. Don't want any accidents to happen."

"Fine." She sighed again, already thinking about where he might store something like that. "I guess I neglected the maintenance work in here for a while anyway. I'll busy myself with that instead."

The Doctor laughed happily. "What would I do without my janitor."

Her conscience stung her again. Was she betraying his trust? Was she doing the right thing?

* * *

 

"Why, you took quite a while..." the Master complained when Roka came back to the library. Without another word he snatched the cookies out of her hands and bit into one, before bringing his attention back to the comic he was reading.

"There is a Star Trek machine in here. I wouldn't even _have_ to bring you something." She sighed and decided to ignore his manners while slumping down on some reading pillows on the ground next to him.

"A _what_?"

"An... atom fuser. They have something like that in Star Trek... You should watch it. "

When he didn't answer she continued to tell him what she had found out so far, although it didn't look like he was even listening. Was he mad at her because she could move around freely? But this really wasn't the right time for that.

"Well... I guess we have to find out how to destroy that metal then." She shrugged and was about to raise.

"Not important," he mumbled, biting into another cookie, not taking his eyes from the pages. "It's just amplifying the electro shocks."

"So, how do we get rid of it then?"

Finally he looked up, but it was impossible to tell what was on his mind. "No idea. Overloading won't work cause of the changed core. Maybe flirt a little bit more with the _Doctor_." He spat out the name. "Maybe he'll give you the keys."

Roka blinked perplex at him. "Flirt...? What the...? I'm not Jack." She laughed.

"Who?" But a moment later remembrance showed on his face, followed by an annoyed look. "Well, isn't that what his pets do?" He waved the words away.

Roka let out a laugh and poked the Master. "Really now? That's what's bothering you?" So he really _was_ jealous! Somehow the thought amused her immensely. "If you _have_ to know... I have no idea why they always do that." She shook her head. "He's more like this weird... grandfather that always has a new story and some candy in his pockets when you visit. Certainly no one to _flirt_ with..."

It still was impossible to tell what he was thinking and he simply put his eyes back to the comic.

Roka sighed. "Do I have to do the research on my own then?"

"It's boring," was all he said.

"Sounds like you want to stay," she teased, but got no reaction. It began to annoy her. " _You_ 're the prisoner... _I_ can just walk out of here. And I really start to get a good mind to do so."

He looked up and at her, but after a moment she realized that he wasn't really _seeing_ her. Now that she paid attention to it though... there was a very subtle twitch in his eyes, as if it was hard to keep their movement under control. And... he had never turned the page he had been staring at.

"We are hovering inside the Vortex, right?" he said toneless, making it sound more like a statement than a question.

"No idea. Why? Do..." That would make sense. "... the drums get worse when you're in there for too long?"

A slight nod from him confirmed it.

"I see..." Roka pondered. And being bored surely didn't help with it. Reading also wasn't exactly the proper distraction to drown out noises.

"Nothing do you see," he grumbled irritated. "You have no idea."

"That's not my fault," she protested slightly. "I mean, I heard them that once, but that's not..."

He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. "That was nothing." His eyes were weird all of a sudden and a manic grin split his face. "Want to listen properly? Would that be fun?"

"What would it help?!" Roka exclaimed. "Let's just..."

"Oh nothing... but it would amuse me." The grin got wider. "Seeing you struggle with it. I bet you couldn't bare it for even a minute before begging me to remove them again."

His hands wandered to her head, thumps pressing painfully against her temples. Struggle was no use and still she tried, lashing out and twisting, but there it was already, the faint rhythm of four beats in the back of her head, steadily getting louder. And louder.

And still _louder_.

So much more than it had been back then. Like stepping out into a sudden rain storm. The noise hammering down on her, drowning out everything else around in an instant, pulsating violently through every fibre of her existence. It hurt. Almost physically. Making it impossible to grasp a single clear thought, to even think at all. The mere implication of thought became too much to bare and all she wanted was to get rid of it, to scream, to flail. Did she? Everything felt frozen, or did it feel at all? There was only the pain of the noise, never stopping, not even resting, pausing, gasping for a single second. Never allowing her to breath, mercilessly hammering on and on.

Finally there was another noise. A chuckle close to her ear. Sounding weird, it's volume not affected by the hammering drums. How was that possible? There were words following, but they didn't make any sense. Words... what even were they? Thoughts... words.

It tickled her mind, easing the everlasting torment, making her clasp it like a straw. Words... thoughts... she could think... think words... thinking them over and over again, countering the noise. But it roared out, drowned her once more. Over and over and over, until she finally understood. Realized it without the ability to clad it into thoughts or meaning.

Focusing. On the drumming, the rhythm, thinking it, being it. If it became part of her, would it stop?

Agonizingly slow other things came back to her. Memories. One by one. A name. _Her_ name. Another straw to cling to, to fill her mind, push away the noise, bit by bit. Getting accustomed to it, until she could feel... limbs, a heartbeat? Her own body. She had one, she remembered. But someone clutched it around arms and chest, making it impossible to move.

There was another chuckle and Roka managed to look up into a face she knew she should recognize, but it had no name yet.

Eventually though it all came swapping back at once, like a shockwave that hit her. In the same moment the Master let go of her and Roka crawled backwards and away from him, seeing his manic grin resting on her.

"And that were only ten seconds. Just beg a little and I'll remove them," he said and it was written all over his face that he enjoyed seeing someone else being tormented by his drums for once.

Roka wasn't able to feel anger. Partially because the sound still overwhelmed her mind, but also because she began to understand, somewhere at the edges of her being, how much willpower he must be raising each second of his life to stay sane. Maybe it had become easier with time, but that didn't make it any better.

She shook her head, squinted, crawled away from him. Drowned. Curled up and whimpered. Where was she? Why didn't it stop? Why did it still get louder? Those four beats over and over. Like waves crushing over her, getting louder and sometimes quieter. Calming down like after a storm, just to scream at her again with all its power.

An eternity went by in darkness and pain.

"Mhm... not bad. A whole minute."

The voice tore her out of the abyss again, giving her the strength to push away the sound once more and even push herself onto her feet. Shaking, faltering.

Then she turned around and ran. Ran out of the library, down the corridors and stumbled into her own room to hide in there. To sit there in the darkness under a pile of blankets, listening.

Just listening.

She was in a corridor. How did she get there? Sitting on the floor, her back leaned against a closed door. In her hand was a small circuit board.

She was in her room, under the blankets, shivering and whimpering, not able to remember her name. She had to have one... or did she? Was she?

A hot shower, somehow. The noise of the water drowning the drums for a while. She couldn't stay there forever, but an idea formed in her head, pushing itself forward in this small moment of almost-clarity. Or... go back. Go and beg him to get rid of them. She shook her dripping head and wrapped herself into a towel, letting the water run loudly behind her, while she bandaged her chest.

He was doing it again. Hurting her. But it was also her fault, because she had run away. It could be long gone already if she had stayed. It was so hard to think. She clenched her teeth and slipped into fresh clothes. It didn't matter. Now she could find out more about the drums, as much of a stupid attempt as it might be. Maybe she could see something he had overlooked. Maybe...

"Am I a good man?" A voice with a Scottish accent asked.

Roka looked up and into a purple orb the size of her head. A loud humming was filling the air, letting her think for a moment. Where was she? This looked like somewhere in the depths of the TARDIS. But it felt... wrong. The sphere floated around an invisible orbit in the center of the room. When it passed her again, she saw the face of an older man and young woman next to him.

The hum got louder and some invisible force nudged her, urging her to leave. Was that the TARDIS? She had never been especially friendly nor hostile towards Roka, but now she tried to force her out of this room. When she looked at her hands there was a bunch of small components in her hands... right... she needed them.

She jerked awake from a nameless nightmare. The drums didn't follow her into the realm of sleep, but sent such horrible dreams that it was impossible to enjoy this downtime. Had the Master to deal with those too? Did Time Lords even dream?

The console room was silent. The Doctor sat in his seat and read some book. Right now there was a weird moment of clarity in Roka's head. The noise only faint, gently stroking her consciousness, and at the same time still loud enough to drown out most thoughts. His pockets. Search his pockets. The coat just hung there. Her hands reached inside, but found nothing. How did he access them? Or were they just normal pockets for once?

Should she try and ask him about the drums? But he would see immediately that something was wrong with her. And with that she would no longer be able to go through with her idea. Maybe if it worked... then she could come back and ask...

Hours went by... days? Roka sat on her table, the room only faintly illuminated by her desk lamp. She wore headphones, blasting some heavy metal through them. It helped... a tiny little bit, although the rhythm distorted those from the songs. And still, sounds came through with their normal clarity, as if the drums weren't a real noise. It weren't her ears that heard them, but the same principle that worked for sound might be also working for her mind. And for his.

Coffee. Way too much of it. Making her head hurt. But sleep only brought nightmares and she wanted this to be done. Her hands clasped a screwdriver, tried to hold still and not shake. It didn't work.

Nightmares, unspoken terrors tearing at her sanity, gone and forgotten the very moment she awoke from them, drowned out by the drums. Hot water, fresh bandages... no wait... it didn't look that bad. A big patch might be enough. Coffee. Back to work.

And finally it was done. A small device resting in her hand. Carefully she took down the headphones and hooked the device behind her ear. With trembling fingers she flicked a small switch and...

It didn't vanish.

But all of a sudden it was so, so much quieter than before. Roka gasped in surprise and it took a while to adjust to it. Her thoughts came rushing back, hammering violently into her head, as did the drums before.

Why had he done this? Why had she run? Would it work? It worked! It was quieter after all! A few adjustments here and there and it might block out the drums completely!

Roka leaped to her feet and almost fell down again. She was so tired, exhausted. But also filled with a sudden excitement.

The library! Now!

No... not yet. There was... the feeling was so strangely familiar it made her laugh. She was hungry. Simply hungry. How long hadn't she eaten anything? It could have been hours or even days. So her steps first went to the kitchen, getting something to fill her growling stomach.

Then to the library!

But as she entered her steps got slower. The whole ordeal must have lasted a few days. A time span she had only been able to endure because there had been enough things to distract her. What about the Master? He had been in her all alone, surrounded only by silence. It wasn't only that she had run, she had also left him here. With the drums. Would he hate her now? It still made not much sense anyway that he liked her at all. Distraction... of course. But was that all? Was she anything else than that? And should it even bother her? Roka knew perfectly well who he was and the Doctor's words came back to her. Yes, she should at least consider that he was only using her. How long would it have taken him to get bored of her? To throw her away without any second thought, without qualms, without...

Maybe... Roka studied her shoes, her mind still not perfectly clear, having no idea where exactly her steps lead her. Maybe it would be better to turn around and leave. As long as she was still able to. Something had changed. She had. The way she felt... towards... No... don't think about it. Turn around. Leave. Maybe...

Roka bumped painfully against something and stumbled back a few steps, shaking her head and finally looked up. Right into the perplex face of the Master.

Seconds passed. An eternity. Both only staring at each other.

The book fell from his hands, landed with a loud thud on the carpet below. The Master was at her faster than she could react and suddenly clutched her so tightly she gasped. Then there were fingers at her temples and slowly the noise vanished, the last drumbeats fainting into nothingness. Now, only silence pressed against her ears, unnatural and unpleasantly. But the Master held her tight the whole time she needed to adjust to it, while the sound of his heartbeats supplanted the drumming.

"I... I'm sorry," he muttered eventually.

Only that. Only those, impossible, words.

A lump sat in her throat all of a sudden and she clutched his shirt tightly, wanted him to just hold her like that for the rest of time. But he already shoved her away to observe her closely, making sure she was alright. Their eyes met and his were filled with worry and warmth alone. Roka stared at him, confused and surprised to see something like that. And it washed away all the doubts she might have had before.

"I thought..." he swallowed and ran a hand over his face. "I mean, I had no idea if you could even... you might be dead, or insane, that's even worse. I didn't know... and the Doctor hasn't seen you either and if he would have forgotten and..."

"Hey, slow down." She raised her hands and stared perplex at him. Gone was the usual cockiness, the malevolence, the coldness. Somehow that disturbed her. "It's only been a few days. You managed for centuries. And I sure as hell wasn't planning to beg."

But her words made his look only more worried. "Days..." He shook his head. "Measured like that it was more like... two weeks? Maybe a bit more."

Roka's mouth dropped open. "That... can't be. It... sure It took ridiculously long to build that thing, but... no way!"

A slight smile finally came back to the Master's face. "Might have felt like that." His eyes found the device behind her ear and he swiftly grabbed it, turned it and took it on himself, having a weird smile play on his lips all of a sudden, before he took it off again. "Not bad. Drowning it out with ultra sound. That also had been one my first ideas back then..." He observed Roka, tilted his head slightly. "Maybe your limited human perception deals with it differently..."

"It... doesn't work for you?" she asked almost desperately, feeling tears of frustration spring to her eyes.

The Master shook his head, but didn't look disappointed. Instead there were relieve and also amusement. "That's so you." He ruffled her hair, making a mess out of them, as he loved to do. "Being tortured by the worst thing possible. But instead of going insane you invent stuff." A laugh escaped him.

Roka grinned sheepishly and looked away. That definitely _had_ been a compliment.

"Why are you not mad at me?" he mumbled suddenly.

And when Roka glanced up, he looked tormented by far more than only the drums. She had always wondered if he was able to feel guilt, or if he only chose to ignore it. Now she had an answer.

"Oh, I _am_ mad at you." Roka smiled. "Don't dare to think anything else." Although right now she was more fascinated by his behaviour. She poked him until he looked at her, before she asked calmly, "Does it bother you? Does it hurt?"

To her surprise the Master nodded, instead of plainly denying it, as she would have expected. He leaned down to her, gently took her head into his hands and dropped his forehead against hers, eyes closed.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered.

Her heart did a sudden jump and it was impossible to stay even slightly angry. She took his hands into hers and when he opened his eyes, she gave him a smile.

"As I said, as long as you keep patching me up." She winked, but then got serious. "Maybe remember how that felt, next time you want to do something stupid."

With a surprised look he straightened again. Roka had the feeling that thought had never struck him.

"Although I'm kinda glad you did that," she mumbled. "At least now I know how it feels. Now I get why it can overwhelm you like that..."

The Master raised both eyebrows and shook his head with a smile. "You're irredeemable," he muttered more to himself.

Roka grinned at that, but then a sudden thought came her. "But wait... If I've really been gone that long... how does it come you're still... here?" She absolutely couldn't imagine that he hadn't the slightest idea how to escape. And even if, why was he still locked inside the library?

He puffed up his cheeks looked away. "Uhm... I _might_ have been a bit... mean." A roguish smile spread on his face. "And not very cooperative. Also... might have lost it a bit... here and there."

Roka chuckled as she could imagine it all too well.

"Haven't found a way to get rid of the damn handcuffs either," he continued, looking a lot less amused now. Then he threw a glance at her. "And even if... There is now way I would leave without... I mean..."

A grin was on Roka's face. A mean one. "Yes? Without? Your screwdriver?"

He shot a mean look back, but eventually mumbled, "Without _you_ , idiot."


	37. A secret

A dull thud made Roka jerk awake. From below came a faint light that belonged to the tablet she had been using, and that was now lying on the floor next to the alcove. With a yawn she rubbed her eyes and remembered how she had been insisting on doing some research on those bracelets herself. It had been a foolish attempt, and she was well aware of it. After all, even the Master hadn't found anything during her absence. Still, she wasn't going to give up so fast.

After the drums had been gone, Roka had distinctly felt how exhausted she actually was. And it probably hadn't taken much time for her to simply fall asleep without even noticing it. Now she was alone and recognized sleepily that the lights in this part of the library were dimmed.

Where had the Master gone? Roka got up and placed the tablet on a cushion before strolling around. Somewhere she could make out faint noises, and the closer she got the more they sounded as if they came from a videogame or movie. Right... years ago she had set up a small gaming corner in here. There was a nice comfy couch and a decently sized TV. He probably had discovered it.

Really, there he was, laying on his back on the sofa, gamepad in hand and obviously very amused by GTA 7. Which in return made Roka chuckle.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he asked while racing a car into a group of police men. "Four hours and twenty minutes isn't enough."

Roka blinked a few times and yawned. "Do you always keep track of how long I sleep?" She sat on the floor below the sofa, watching him running amok in an especially lively part of the virtual city.

" _Someone_ has to. Not sleeping properly seems to be a habit of yours."

"Meh, I'm not even that tired anymore. Maybe I'll just get some coffee."

Suddenly she felt grabbed with two arms and dragged upwards onto the sofa. It barely was deep enough for two, but the Master slipped back a bit, so she could sit down and watch for a while.

"Mhmm... not tired at all." A chuckle made her snap awake again moments later, and look down behind her. The Master smiled up to her, sarcasm all over his face. Then he tugged at her arm and pulled her down next to him, before he brought his attention back to the game. Roka turned around to watch the TV and huddled a bit closer.

* * *

  
There wasn't much about the human world that truly amazed the Master. The fact that this race made videogames that had the mere purpose of virtually running amok among their own kind was one of those though.

And while he was aware of the violent nature of humans, he hadn't thought that some of them might be able to sleep soundly to the sounds of screaming people, gunshots and explosions. He wondered if Roka would also look so peaceful, had he told her about the... slightly... decimated part of the library.

Sure it had been only boring crime novels... The Doctor certainly hadn't been happy to find his Agatha Christie selection floating in the swimming pool. The Master on the other hand had felt at ease for the first time in days at the sight of his enemy's devastated face. At least for a few moments. So the remaining rest of the boring collection had - all of a sudden - caught fire over a heated lamp. Whoops!

It had been the Doctor's own fault. Simply for the audacious attempt to _talk_! The mere thought of it made the Master angry again and he let his helicopter drop onto a particularly big group of people. The blood effects were really not too shabby.

So low had he gotten. Occupied with human distractions... But at least it was loud. A benefit no book in the universe could ever provide. And he was in desperate need for some noisy diversion.

The drums had gotten louder again. And not only slightly, as usually. At first he had thought the TARDIS was still floating inside the Vortex, and it probably was, but when the drums had suddenly gotten even _louder_ , he had recognized his mistake. Worse than that, though, was that this wasn't the only change. It usually took months or even years for them to increase in volume.

Now it were mere days.

It was a very subtle change, and, if he wouldn't be so accustomed to the noise, he would have probably never noticed. But it _did_ happen.

And for the first time in his long life it scared him.

Sure, it was a given that he would sooner or later simply go mad. And up to this point he had been almost looking forward to it. Becoming the ultimate force of chaos... and finally being free from the burden of sanity...

A subtle movement at his side made him look away from the TV and next to him. Why now? Why couldn't the bloody drums wait a little longer? Those few centuries he had been convinced to have left... maybe he wouldn't last that long now. Why couldn't he have that time? Just as he...

He pinched his eyes together and tried to focus his derailing thoughts. A task that got progressively harder, making him wonder, how Roka had managed to withstand this for so long. It must be her human brain that probably couldn't fully perceive or even process the drumming. Maybe it was because it had just been an echo instead of the real thing.

Whatever it had been, he was glad about it. And mad at himself for being... him. That was new. And a little confusing. Or maybe he was just tired. Sleep hadn't been a good friend recently. The drums made it almost impossible to get into a restful state of mind. And even if he managed, he was only greeted by nightmares.

The Master stared at the TV for a few moments, noticing that he hadn't moved in a while. Frustrated he threw the gamepad down to the ground. Roka winced next to him and turned around with open eyes.

"Huh?" He glared at her, then chuckled. "You sleep through the loudest ruckus, but that small noise wakes you?"

"'S just instinct," Roka mumbled and was barely responsive. But then she looked at him as if she could feel his state of mind. "Whus wrong with you?"

"Why do you..."

"You have that look." She smiled lazily. Then it seemed as if she was thinking about something, before she turned her back at him again, mumbling, "'S probably none of my busyness anyway."

Perplex he stared at her. Was he that easy to look through? Maybe he should tell her about the drums. Now she would understand. But... something kept him from it and instead he only shook his head slightly, turned to his side and wanted to grab this little human to pull her closer.

He hesitated though, realizing how weird this actually was. Roka wasn't the first person, not even the first human, he had been traveling with. There also had been a few, rare, incidences where he had felt drawn to a person, had even been close to them, although mostly physically. But this? It was strange and he couldn't quite understand it. He wanted to have her around him. But it was more like a strong mental connection. It didn't _feel_ weird. And that confused him most, because normally it always did.

 _Normally_ the thought of maybe having broken someone also wouldn't bother him. Why did it now? Why had he been so devastated the whole time she had been gone? Why was there so much relief when she had come back, alive and even still sane. It made no sense.

Sleep, the Master reminded himself. He really should get some. And probably somewhere else than here. If he was careful, she wouldn't even wake up.

But when he moved, Roka instantly turned around, eyes slightly opened. Those were some pretty damn sharp instincts! She fully turned around, snuggled herself against him and mumbled something he couldn't even understand. And then smiled! Thad god damn human had the audacity to _smile_ while sleeping next to the man who had claimed evilness for himself! For a moment he just wanted to roll her down to the ground and walk away, but she was already turning away again, fidgeting in her dreams. Nightmares?

The Master cursed himself for a bit, then slid an arm under Roka and drew her against him. Instantly she stopped twitching and relaxed. He smiled at that, and that made him curse at himself once more. This really shouldn't go too far. But for now... just for now... why not enjoy the company? After all he was simply using her, right? That's what he always did. And using someone else for comfort was still using them...

And still, at this moment, he decided to never hurt her again.

* * *

  
_He will knock four times._

The Doctor shook his head and concentrated on the cables in his hands while lying underneath the console. Some sparks fell onto his face when he held them together, then there was a rumbling noise and finally a content humming.

Hastily the Doctor got out and up, flicking some switches and hitting a few buttons to bring the TARDIS back into the Vortex.

"At least he took good care of you," he said smiling, patting the controls. "Not like last time...." he added pouting.

_He will knock four times._

The words from the bus lady just wouldn't leave his mind. And then there had been the Ood. But what they had shown him was only partially true. The Master _had_ returned. It must have been through resurrection, because his body was still the same. It made sense. The Ood had mentioned his former wife. She would provide a biometric imprint...

But they had also said the whole universe would see him in their dreams... and _that_ wasn't true. He had spent a good amount of time checking on it now. No weird occurrences that could even be remotely connected to the Master.

Had he prevented this part of the prophecy to come true when he had captured the Master? He really hoped so. This hope had made him look for his former friend in the first place after all. Maybe whatever else was supposed to return would also stay away now.

But the lady in the bus... maybe that also wouldn't come true now.

The Doctor sighed deeply and rubbed his neck. What was he supposed to even do with the other Time Lord? He couldn't just lock him away for all of eternity. If only he wouldn't be so stubborn and finally talk to him. They surely could make things work somehow.

_He will knock four times._

"Oh, come on! It's not even real!" he exclaimed into the empty room. Not even the TARDIS responded. "Those bloody drums. He never even mentioned them before!"

It wasn't true. There had been a single incident... even before he had fled Gallifrey so long ago. When both had still called this planet their home. Just once had he spoken of them... when...

The Doctor shook his head. It had just been an excuse! Something to hide behind, to not take the blame for his horrible...

With a sigh he sped through the doors and to the library. This time he wouldn't leave until the Master finally talked to him! No matter how long it would take! Yes... that was a good plan. Probably... hopefully...

Absentmindedly he wandered along the shelves, wondering where the other Time Lord might be. The library was so big after all. But finally he heard some noises. It sounded like swords clinking together, and other weird sounds... And then he heard the Master talk, but couldn't quite make out his words. Was he talking to himself? No... he was clearly responding to someone... someone? No one else was in here...

He sped up his steps and reached the part with the sofa and the TV. Here he peaked around the corner, careful not to make any noise. Then he remembered, the same moment he saw her.

The same moment he also remembered the only thing the Master had ever spoken to him. One question. Every single time he had come in here. Always asking if he had seen Roka somewhere. Had she vanished for some time? Even if so, obviously she was back now.

The thought of that girl made him stop for a moment. How long was she with him now? It was hard to remember the exact time, because he always forgot about her... but it must have been years. In all that time he had never found out much about the young woman. She never talked about herself. Most of the time she had been rather quiet, always reading, always a bit absentminded.

Now though he heard her laugh. Her whole demeanor was different. This weird friendship with the Master must have changed her somehow. If for the better... that was another question. He knew how cunning and charming the Master could be, how easy it was for him to make people believe his words. But what plans could he have with this girl? Except for the glitch there wasn't anything too special about her. And the glitch itself was rather useless...

Carefully he peaked around the corner once more, now taking a proper look at this weird scenery and paying more attention to their words. His mouth gaped open as his brain caught up with the sight. There certainly were a lot of things he would have expected to see, but that... was just so unexpectedly... casual.

Both were sitting on the couch, the Master behind Roka, his arms wrapped around her, and his hands held a gamepad. The young woman was comfily leaning against him, having the widest grin on her face the Doctor had ever seen, while the Time Lord behind her gave off the impression to jump up and smash something at every moment.

"Well... I guess I found out why you hate this game so much," Roka giggled happily. "You're soooo incredibly bad at it."

"Quiet, ape!" the Master retorted, followed by a frustrated grunt. "This isn't even fun!" he whined. "It's only unfair!"

"No, you're just bad," Roka continued to taunt him, then lay her hand around his, as if to take the gamepad away. "Let me. I can't watch this any longer."

"No! This piece of crap won't beat me!" the Master exclaimed and tore his hands away. "And you're a little devil for making me suffer through this! Just so you know!"

"Well... you're a sod and you deserve the pain," the girl chuckled and looked up at him with a grin.

The Master stared down at her with such an angry expression that the Doctor almost jumped out from behind the shelf to prevent... Had he just... kissed her?

Confused and a little stunned the Doctor froze and ducked away. He must have imagined it!

"I could tell you a nice little secret..." came the Master's voice from ahead, somehow a little louder than before. "Didn't you always want to know the Doctor's real name?"

"No!" The Doctor sprang out and ran the last steps towards them, waving his arms. "Don't you dare, Master! Not... a... word!" Panting he stopped in front of the two, far enough away to not let the handcuffs go off, and finally realized that he had been tricked as he looked at the satisfied smirk on the other one's face and Roka's slightly confused expression.

"Oh, I like it, when you use my name, Doctor." The Master purred happily. "Be nice and say it again." He then threw the gamepad towards the Doctor - clumsily he caught it somehow - before he wrapped his arms possessively around the young woman in front of him. "Since you're all useless and just standing around... beat that stupid boss for me, will ya?"

Helplessly the Doctor stared at the small device in his hands, his gaze wandered to the TV where a figure, clad in medieval armor, sat in front of a bonfire that had a sword sticking in it. Then he looked over to Roka, giving her a pleading look to help him out of this. But she simply shrugged and grinned.

Silence spread and the atmosphere got a little thicker. The Master glared daggers at him, as if he wished his gaze alone might let his enemy drop dead. But he also looked strangely... tensed. As if he was concentrating on something. There was also something wrong with his eyes... a slight flickering...

Suddenly Roka sprang up and came towards him. "Could you leave the Vortex?" she asked.

"How do you know we're inside?" the Doctor asked perplex.

"Because of me," the Master growled, got up and wanted to come closer, but probably remembered the handcuffs.

_He will knock four times._

The Doctor didn't move. The shocks from the bracelets were strong enough to not let the other Time Lord come dangerously close. It was cruel, and he knew it... but those words... and the murderous look in his eyes right now didn't make it any better. Not to mention that he _had_ intended to kill him not long ago, in that facility. And if it hadn't been for Roka, who had put herself in danger... But now she seemed to be completely under his control. Her bright eyes glaring at the Doctor with a begging look. They used to be absent and far away... now though, filled with life and a fire he had never before seen in her.

"Can you stop them?" she asked. "Those drums, can you..."

"Shut up!" the Master called out, his voice angry. "I don't want his help."

"Don't be an idiot!" Roka turned around. "What if..."

"It's all right," the Doctor reassured and smiled vaguely when she looked up at him again. "They aren't real, you know."

The Master threw his head back with a laugh, then grinned as nasty as he probably could. "Yah, that's what you always thought. Sooo much easier to think that, right? Nothing to worry about. It's just madness!" He produced some unpleasant cracking sounds with his neck.

"You said it yourself," the Doctor retorted defiantly. "No one could ever proof their existence." Carefully he shoved Roka to the side a bit to get her out of the other one's reach. "But I promised it. If you _talk_ to me... I'll see what I can do. I'll try..."

"...and cure me? Aaaw, listen to you. Isn't that adorable?" Anger glinted in his eyes. "Maybe put some human medicine into me, how about that? I heard they have a nice assortment for crazy people." He took a step forward, his eyes wandering to Roka, and he didn't look very happy about seeing her at the Doctor's side.

The young woman moved, was about to go back to the Master. Couldn't she see and feel the anger that was hovering around him like a cloak? Quickly the Doctor grabbed her wrist and shook his head at her questioning glance.

"Och, look at that. So protective. Seriously, what do you think I'm going to do to her?" The Master sneered.

"I don't even want to know!" the Doctor exclaimed and felt a tug.

"Let me go, Doctor," Roka demanded and tore at her arm.

"I don't want you to get hurt!" he tried to explain. Why couldn't she understand? What had he done to her mind? "Whatever it is, that he did to make you trust him, be careful."

"Yes, be careful," the Master parroted, his voice oozing with contempt. He took a step towards them, but that made the bracelets send out a shock and he backed off again and instead hissed, "Just for once, Doctor, _assume_ I might not want to hurt someone. Surprise!"

"As if!" he shrieked. "Each time I hear that from you, someone dies!" The Doctor gripped Roka's wrist only tighter. No, not this time! Not again! He wouldn't let him kill someone again. Not if he was able to prevent it! The girl tore at him, but he shook his head, begging her with his eyes to understand.

"Can I make own decisions?" Roka asked aggressively, giving him a venomous look.

His eyes darted back and forth between her and the Master, trying to understand, what in the universe was going on here. The other Time Lord looked uncomfortable all of a sudden, stood straight and folded his arms in front of his chest.

"What will you do?" the Master asked in a calm tone. Too calm. "You forget her anyway, soon. What does it bother you?"

"What does it bother _you_?" the Doctor retorted. "What do you want from her?"

Suddenly the Master chuckled, then laughed for bit. Not his mean and cruel laugh, but honestly amused. "So difficult to believe I could make friends?" he finally asked, a wicket grin on his face. "It's just that. No secret plans. I just like her."

The Doctor's mouth gaped open for a moment. A glance at Roka told him that she wasn't surprised at that. Sure, she had told him they had become friends, but... but... No. He knew the Master for too long to believe it. He knew too well how often he offered his _friendship_...

A humourless laugh escaped him. "The same friendship you offered to Lee before you killed him?"

"Tze, he was just a tool." The Master shrugged nonchalantly, enraging the Doctor even further. "Never cared for him."

"And then you think I would believe..."

"Maybe this _once_ I do, for fricks sake!" the Master snapped. And if it weren't for the bracelets he surely would have attacked him by now.

"Like you cared for Lucy?" it wasn't good to be so angry. The Doctor knew it. But too much had happened recently. He had lost too much and too many to stay calm.

"Don't be ridiculous," the Master snickered.

And the mean grin on the other one's face let the Doctor snap once and for all. "...the same way you cared for your daughter?" he hissed, and almost regretted his words immediately after.

A heavy silence spread, filled the air around. Roka was glaring up at him, then at the Master, whose face suddenly was a carefully sustained mask of calmness; but it would only take a wrong twitch to let it break. There was more hate in his eyes than the Doctor had ever seen before.

"Don't you dare..." the Master said, quietly, his voice ice cold and sharp as a knife as his gaze wandered to Roka.

"Why not?" the Doctor gave back. "Afraid she could see, who you truly are?"

The girl snorted. "As if I wouldn't know that already," she murmured.

"I really don't think you do," he looked down to her, giving her a warm and understanding look.

He knew so well how deceiving the Master could be. She had to see at last. Again he glanced up at the other Time Lord, saw his warning look. He tried to step forward once more, but an electric shock prevented it, letting the mask break and rage shine through, radiating from him.

Roka tore at her arm again. "What's wrong with you, Doctor? That's not like you at all." She gave him a confused look.

"But he _murdered_ her!"

The words hung in the room for a moment. Everyone's eyes rested on the Doctor, and he gulped, opened his mouth to say more. She had to know! He knew it was cruel, knew it was wrong. But how else could he protect her?

"Doctooor!" the Master howled, cutting him off. Enraged he took a step closer, managed to ignore the first shock, managed to stay conscious through the second, stronger one even, before the third finally forced him down onto his knees, clutching his head. "Don't..."

"Stop that!" Roka shouted, again ripping at her arm. "Please! Why are you doing this to him? Step back!"

The Doctor stayed still, his gaze begging her for forgiveness. "You _have_ to know." And hastily he blabbered on, "It was a massacre. His own... it was horrible. She wasn't even initiated yet. And they found him... laughing!" With a quick glance he made sure the Master still couldn't move. The electric flow must be strong enough to keep him at the fragile brink of consciousness, paralyzing his muscles. "It was the _only_ time he mentioned the drums to anyone. Never before and never again after that." The memory hurt and he decided to keep the details. They were too gruesome. He had been there that day, had found his friend. There had been so much blood and the Master was there, amidst the mess, grinning.

Roka gaped at the Doctor, disbelieve all over her face.

"I know. It's...I just don't want to find anyone else like that. I only want to help," he pleaded and thought she would finally see the truth.

Suddenly the girls eyes went dark and cold though. "Then let me go already and get lost." Her voice was as icy as her gaze. It almost scared him for a moment. There was a lot of similarity between those two, more than he wanted to admit. "Is that your way of helping now?" She nodded towards the Master.

"He is only _using_ you," the Doctor said in a desperate tone.

Roka only gave him a grim smirk. "Don't I know? But so am I." Once more she ripped at her arm, and this time he finally let go and also took some steps back to release the Master. Actually... his eyes darted back and forth between the two. Had he gotten it wrong? A sudden instinct buzzed through him like a shock. What had he done? He just wanted to help!

Helplessly the Doctor turned around and almost fled the library.

* * *

 

Roka had never before been angry at the Doctor. But he also had never done something so cruel. At least nothing she had witnessed. As she turned around, the Master had recovered from being electrified and stumbled to his feet, holding his head as if it was hurting. When his eyes opened they twitched badly and he moaned quietly, swaying back against a shelf.

She hurried towards him, and saw relieved that the twitching stopped shortly after. What stayed was pure rage and barely contained hatred. And hurt.

A moment later the Master caught her completely off-guard, spun around,  pinned her against the shelf and stared at her with dark eyes. "Haven't you heard him? Go away!"

He let go, stumbled back and bent down as if he felt sick, then rammed his fist against the shelf and let out a short and furious cry. Roka was completely frozen and just stared at him. Although she couldn't see his face, she could feel such a raw anger that she had no idea how to respond to that.

Moments passed in silence, before the Master started to chuckle quietly. Something dripped on the carpet, or had she imagined it? When he looked up again his eyes were dark, but there also was a barely noticeable shimmer. He glared at her and probably was about to say something snarky, but she didn't let him and instead simply stepped closer to wrap her arms around him.

"What the heck..." He tried to push her away. "...are you doing?"

"People call that a hug, moron," she replied sternly and clutched tighter, then she mumbled, "It was an accident, right?"

"Why would you think that?" he grunted, but gave up on getting her to move. "I very much enjoyed it."

"Mhm, sure. From all I've learned... It were the drums. Maybe even the very first time they got so overwhelming..."

The Master froze, then dropped his chin on her head and stayed silent for a good minute. Eventually he raised his head again. "You're the first person who ever believed it. Sure, they didn't know about the drums. I never told anyone."

"Why not?" Roka looked up.

"They wouldn't have let me visit the academy, if they'd known." He gulped and looked to the ceiling. "I told the Doctor afterwards, but... you see how that went."

Roka felt a lump in her throat and clutched him even tighter. "I'm sorry," she murmured against his chest.

"Huh? What for?"

"That you had to go through that."

She glanced up and met his utterly confused eyes. "That makes no sense," he said slowly.

"It's called compassion," she chuckled. "Just because all people you met so far have been dorks, doesn't mean I have to be one too."

A sarcastic smirk wandered over his face and he pushed lightly against her shoulders once more. "Go, have that for someone else. I don't need that. It's stupid."

Roka sighed, shook her head and let go of him. "Because your hands are dirty?" She reached for his hands on her shoulders, gently slid her fingers between his, while watching his puzzled face. "Because you're out to drown the universe in blood and flames?" she continued calmly. "I don't care about that. I don't care if there is no one to ever reach you a hand or lend you a shoulder. Because I will." With that she took a step back and gave him a warm smile. "Just so you know."

He looked at her with a slightly tilted head and as if she had told him the most complicated mathematic problem he had ever faced. On one side it was funny, on the other... it made her sad and she slightly pulled at his hands, making him take a step forward.

"I don't get you," he finally said and clasped her hands a little tighter, raised them to draw her fully against him and leaned down. "I still might break you. Even if I don't want to."

The Master placed a gentle kiss to her lips, then her forehead, before he let her go to walk away.

"Maybe..." Roka went after him. "You should show me how to raise some mental barriers." When he arched an eyebrow she continued with a smirk, "Well, you are dangerous after all. I should have some defences to survive the next centuries."

A grin widened on his lips, spread to his eyes and finally banished the darkness from them. "Yeah, that's not a bad idea."


	38. Dinner for three

Roka had always spent a lot of time inside the library. But now it might have been a little bit more than usual. She told herself the reason was that she didn't want the Master to get too bored, and therefore tempted to set his surroundings on fire. Well, it _was_ indeed a valid reason.

To her surprise it was quiet in the library when she entered this time. Nothing loud blaring from some corner. And her biggest surprise was to find the Master on his back, sprawled over the sofa and peacefully sleeping.

Two thoughts shot through Roka's head.

The first was more a slight satisfaction that she had finally found out if Time Lords actually ever slept at all.

The second made her ponder whether or not to throw a pillow at him. Just for the sake of it.

Instead she only watched for a short while, fascinated by how calm he looked. And maybe marveling at him for a tiny bit more than she wanted to admit. But then she picked up one of the pillows, that used to clutter the sofa and were now strewn all around it, and sneaked closer, wearing a mischievous grin. She wouldn't throw the thing, only let it drop on his face.

Careful not to make any noise she held up her arms and was about to let go, when suddenly the Master swiped Roka off her feet with a movement she couldn't even see. Squeaking she let the pillow fall and suddenly got grabbed once more, firmly, and somehow found herself not only lying completely on top of him, but also blinking perplex into his amused face.

"No manners," he taunted with a very awake grin, his grip around her only getting stronger when she struggled.

Finally Roka gave up and instead folded her arms on his chest to rest her chin on them, all while trying to murder the Master with her gaze alone. It only made him chuckle and she wasn't able to be anything even close to peeved.

"Pff... okay, you won," she surrendered. His heartbeat drummed against her chest, making her close her eyes for a moment, but then open one again. "Satisfy my curiosity... how much do you guys sleep?"

The Master let go of Roka and folded his arms behind his head and yawned. "Not much. An hour or two. And not necessarily every day." He shrugged, then grinned widely at her.

"What's so funny?" She squinted her eyes at him.

"Och, just thought... I quite enjoy you up there," he smiled from ear to ear and gave her a very suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

Roka's eyes darted sideways and she contemplated if he would let her leave or not. But she was more in the mood for being cheeky.

"I completely trust you, superior Time Lord, to be in full control of those primal and totally unworthy biological urges," she said dramatically and poked out her tongue at him.

The befuddled look on his face was definitely reward enough. Although not a second later he threw his head back and laughed out loud, making Roka smirk satisfied.

It went so fast, she wasn't quite sure how exactly it happened, but only a moment later she suddenly found herself laying on her back, the Master kneeling above her with the widest grin. Somehow he also had gripped both of her wrists and held them to the sides of her head, making it practically impossible for her to move at all.

"Oh... _I_ am," he cheered and leaned down closer to her. "Question is... _human_... are _you_?"

Her heart pounded so madly in her chest, it was hard to think at all. She swallowed and did her best to appear unfazed. "Yah, pretty sure 'bout that," she mocked, her voice slightly higher than intended.

"Interesting... the other humans I travelled with all got... annoying." He shivered dramatically.

"No wonder, if you do the same with everyone," Roka grumbled with an eye-roll.

"Nah. Wouldn't have let _them_ anywhere near me," the Master purred and leaned closer, brushing his lips lightly along hers.

Roka didn't budge, even though her racing heartbeat must treacherously give away how much he actually affected her. Enough to make her respond a tiny bit too eagerly when he kissed her, just passionately enough to make it worse and not leaving her much room to breathe. All that while she had a hard time to keep her body from twitching a single muscle. He grinned against her lips, making her even more determined not to give him even the slightest victory.

With a mean chuckle he retreated after a moment. "Liar..." Playfully he grinned down, slid a finger along her jaw and moved to her ear. "And now... go and get your mental shields working." He chuckled again and sprang up from the sofa, stretching and yawning loudly. "And I go and get my morning shower. And tea."

Roka sat up, undecided whether or not to be relieved, and grabbed the pillow she had dropped before, only to throw it at the Master's back. It even hit and she giggled satisfied when he stumbled a step. "For being a sod," she stated matter-of-factly and promptly got the pillow thrown back right into her face.

* * *

Mental shields... It had sounded so easy. Now Roka was sitting on the ground, trying to focus her mind on her breathing and getting her head empty. Turned out, those things had to be learned slowly and over a long period of time. So she was forced to meditate for hours. Something that had always been troublesome for her restless mind.

The Master had only laughed at that. "Every child learns this on Gallifrey. Don't tell me you're dumber than an eight year old."

"Hey, I'm just human after all," Roka pouted.

"Doesn't matter. You might take a bit longer and your results may never be as effective... but it's still possible." He shrugged and then simply left her, ending every discussion with that.

It was hard to imagine that he had done this himself at one point. Sitting still for hours, alone only with one's own thoughts... With how loud the drums were now, it probably wasn't possible anymore for him though.

Only after hours was she allowed to finally get up. And, a bit grumpy about the lack of success, Roka slumped onto the sofa next to the Master and sulked for a bit. Eventually though she asked, "Any plans?"

"Huh?" He didn't look at her, too occupied by the same game from hours before. Roka saw satisfied that he hadn't gotten very far in that time. And as a giant rat was killing his character, she giggled, what made him promptly throw the gamepad away and giving her a mean glare.

"To get out of here," she said and gave him a mocking glare.

"Well... since there is no way to get rid of the bracelets... Not even if you'd find my laser screwdriver. And neither of us knows how the keys might even _look_ like." With a sigh he stretched a little and leaned back. "So patience it is again... Although I'm not sure I would really help him _this_ once... no matter what trouble he might find." Now his look turned dark.

"Wait... _help_ the Doctor?" Roka cocked an eyebrow.

"Sure... that guy can't stay out of trouble. And now guess, who he'll be begging to get him out?" A mean grin curved his lips.

"Mhm... I see." Roka smiled. "Then he owes you something. Or you find some advantage on the way."

"Yup." He stared at the TV and the gamepad in turns as if to decide if he should pick it back up or smash it into pieces. "Very reliable escape plan. Although horribly boring."

* * *

Roka didn't like this plan at all. Patience was a thing she had somehow lost during the last months. Or maybe it was because her progress was so slow. She spent most of the time either meditating or restlessly wandering around the TARDIS, watching out for anything that could be the keys for the handcuffs.

Her glitch was as much a curse at it was a blessing right now. It allowed her to look around without being seen. But it disabled her from punishing the Doctor with silence. That was quite ineffective, considering he didn't even remember her.

A part of her understood why it seemed to be impossible for him to accept that the Master might not have ill intends with her. The other part was angry though. Angry because the Doctor didn't even try to understand, did brush off the drums as a mere hallucination, and didn't help.

The few times the Doctor saw her, he obviously was on edge and evaded any direct answer to her questions. Was he really fearing she would act against him? After all that time? The thought made Roka feel sick. Had she betrayed him in the end? Had she done the exact thing she had never wanted to do?

The Master on the other hand didn't even think about cooperating in any way. Each time the Doctor tried to talk to him, he either ignored the mere presence of the other Time Lord or did his best to provoke a quarrel.

She also couldn't bring the Doctor to stop his habit of parking the TARDIS inside the Vortex. And although the Master was almost ridiculously careful with Roka since the incident with the drums, he was tormented by them too much to keep himself under control all the time. Sometimes he shooed her outside, telling her to not come back for at least some hours. And Roka obeyed. There was no reason to put herself in danger.

So she resumed the meditations in her room, tried to keep her mind from wandering off.

It didn't work. Not for long at least. Her thoughts wandered back to the library, making her wish she could help with the drums. It was cruel to just leave him there, but what else could she do?

She sighed and leaned back, looking up to the ceiling, where light dots danced. Fake stars from a small lamp. For a while she stared at them, followed their slow movements, how they faded in and out. And surprisingly it calmed her, gave her the focus she had been searching for. Then, as the Master had told her, she imagined a blue light emanating from her skin, wrapping itself around her like a copy of herself. A perfectly formed shield, to protect her from any psychic influence.

Roka smiled happily at her success and rushed back to the library to finally brag about it for once.

"Oh, you did it," the Master remarked surprised. He looked tired and worn out, but smiled.

"Uhm, somehow..."

"Good... repeat that once a day and you might get somewhere." He snickered. "What? You really thought I'd be impressed?"

Roka nudged him with her elbow, but grinned, and then moaned shortly after when the Master gave her a new task to stabilize the shield.

Well... she had asked for it after all.

* * *

Since there were no real days inside the TARDIS, it was hard for Roka to tell how much time passed. Her only indicator was her own bio rhythm, telling her to eat and to sleep now and then.

A few of those days later, as Roka got up from her exercises, the Master was gone.

At first, Roka thought he had hid to play a prank on her. That wouldn't be the first time after all. But no matter where she searched, there was no Master to be found.

He also wasn't with the Doctor, who was tinkering in the control room and certainly wouldn't have let the Master out of sight.

Somehow he must have found a way out.

Without her.

Why was that even surprising? He was the _Master_. And he didn't just bind himself to another person. Never. Especially not a human, since he never got tired mentioning how useless her species was.

Feeling a lot more devastated than she should, Roka scuffled to the kitchen. Getting some coffee might help thinking about what to do now, even though she felt more like hiding under pile of blankets and not coming out from under there for... at least a year or so. Then again the Vortex Manipulator was still where she had left it. Maybe she would use the thing, leave the TARDIS to travel on her own. The thought of staying here didn't feel right. Not after all...

Perplex she looked up and stared at the utterly weird scene in front of her.

Weird, because the Master apparently _wasn't_ gone, but had somehow gotten inside the kitchen. And a great lot of extra weird, because he was... cooking. Roka shook her head and rubbed her eyes, but as the scene didn't change, she admitted that it had to be real.

"How... did you get in here?" was all she could get out, treading next to him.

"Oh, hey!" He grinned widely at her while slicing up some mushrooms. "Same as with the wardrobe and the bathroom. Those basically count as part of the library, so the bracelets don't zap me. Was bored and tried some doors."

"Oh," made Roka, and did her best to cope with the annoying wave of happiness that was suddenly flooding her. All while she had to focus the entirety of her mental energy to not hug him in relief. A bad idea, considering he was holding such a big and sharp knife in his hands. "Uhm... err.. what... are you doing there?" she asked instead and watched as he chopped up some vegetables now.

"Dinner, isn't that obvious?"

"Yeah, well... But there is a machine. _You_ lectured me about it," she reminded with a smirk.

"True... But right now I'm slowly murdered by boredom. Want some too?"

Roka watched him skeptically and had to think of the few occasions the Doctor had tried to cook. That hadn't ended... edible. "I..." she dragged out the letter, "...don't know..."

"Oi, don't give me that look! Not all Time Lords are rubbish and clumsy."

"Oof, fine. Why not." She shrugged and decided to give it a try. "Need some help?"

"Mhm... no." He looked over to her, then nodded towards the table. "Just wait. I want to kill some time after all."

Roka giggled and sat down on a chair. "To sum it up. It's weird when _I_ make cookies for you, but perfectly fine when _you_ make dinner for me?"

"Exactly!" he retorted happily.

After some time the smell of roasted meat filled the air and made her stomach growl in anticipation. The Master took his time though, arranging the food in a decent manner on the plates.

"Mhm... let's see..." he mumbled to himself and searched through some shelves, before he found some wine bottles and picked one out. The cork was gone fast and he hummed satisfied at the smell. "Can't have a good meal without a decent wine."

"You're really enjoying this, right?" Roka giggled and watched as he placed plates and glasses onto the table, filling the later with blood red liquid, and gave her a wink. She eyed the food, admitting that it looked delicious. "I hope you're not awaiting any dinner prayer," she remarked sarcastically.

"Only when you want to praise your Lord and Master," he replied with a cocky bow, before he sat down and started to eat.

Carefully she took some bites and let out a satisfied sigh. It was extraordinarily good.

"Seriously. Villain is the absolute wrong profession for you," she remarked. "Ever thought about settling down and open up a restaurant?"

"Sure," he answered dead serious. "For exactly ten seconds, before my brain cells started to murder themselves."

Roka chuckled and tried the wine. She had no clue if it was a good one. To her they all tasted more or less the same.

Behind them the door opened, and in strolled the Doctor, perfectly unaware of everything until he sniffed into the air and shortly after found the Master. His mouth dropped open, and while he stumbled a few steps back he pointed at the other man, stuttering, "Wha... what?! How... how can you be in here? The bracelets..."

"...nothing wrong with them," the Master sneered. "Except for the fact that they are on my wrists."

"But..."

"Ugh, seriously. Have you no idea how your own bloody ship works?" The Master rolled his eyes and devoted his attention back to his meal.

"Oh..." it came from the Doctor. Then a bit louder, "Oh! Right! Totally forgot... err... well..." He rubbed his neck and eyed the pans and pots.

"Sure, take some," the Master offered, suddenly sounding very friendly. "Come on, eat with us." He then looked thoughtful for a moment. "Ahhh, wait. You can't. At least not if you don't want to roast me." The glint in his eyes got mean as he took a sip from the wine, letting the bracelets twinkle obviously. "Too bad, isn't it?"

"U... us?" the Doctor asked confused and he looked at the second set of dishes, before he finally recognized Roka and his eyes lit up, then suddenly filled with concern. A few moments later he straightened and seemed to regain his composure. "I can eat over there!" he offered cheery, rushed to get out another plate and shoved some food onto it. "Hey, it's really good!"

"I know." The Master nodded. "And now get lost. No one needs your ugly face to ruin their evening."

"Oh, come on, Master. You can't ignore me forever!" The Doctor didn't move an inch away and kept standing at the counter, where he could watch the two while eating.

"I bet I can," he grumbled, pushed his empty plate away and seemed to think about something, while the uncomfortable atmosphere grew thicker.

"So... what are you two up to?" the Doctor tried to open a conversation.

"Slowly dying of boredom?" the Master offered.

"Very slowly," Roka seconded.

"I heard Feyghotraforia is supposed to be fantastic at this time of the year! We could..."

"No." The Master rolled his eyes.

"Okay. How about the eighth moon of Chapparonin? Last time I was there..."

"No chance."

"Oof, alright..." the Doctor shoved some more food into him, then his face lit up and he stretched his fork into the air, swallowing down the last bite. "I know! Perfect trip for three! The jungles of Jylxoko Alpha. There is this massive statue of..."

"Yes, _that_ sounds nice!" the Master suddenly chimed in, looking excited. "Just give me the keys to those handcuffs and we can go."

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, actually... I'd rather not take them off... yet."

"Mhm... understandable." The Master nodded with a serious face. "I also wouldn't let my dog off the leash before it's tamed."

Roka's eyes darted back and forth between the two, wondering if the Master was going somewhere with his taunting, or if he simply wanted to provoke. Probably the latter.

"Hey, I... You're not my dog!" the Doctor protested.

"Then stop treating me like one," the other Time Lord snarled and stared up to the ceiling as if it were interesting all of a sudden.

Roka couldn't suppress a giggle. "I wouldn't mind you on a leash."

Widely grinning he looked down again, leaned on the table, chin in hand, and glared at her. "Mhm... what for?"

"I'd come up with something," she retorted with a mean smirk. "And I could stop you from running away from me."

"Would never do that," he purred back. "It'd be horribly boring without such lovely company."

Roka blinked perplex and whatever she had wanted to say, slipped her mind.

"Uh, I really don't want to interrupt whatever you two are discussing..." the Doctor interrupted, trying to get back the Master's attention.

"But you do!" he retorted, rolling his eyes once more. "Can't you just get lost?"

"Weeell, just wanted to know what you think about Jylxoko Alpha."

"Can I blow it up?"

"Errr... no."

"Ignite the swamp gasses?" the Master offered with a childish smile. "I heard the last time someone did that, a third of the planet was uninhabitable for the next two hundred years."

"And you happened to be the one who tested it?" Roka guessed and simply got a wink for an answer.

"Okay, maybe another place then?" the Doctor seemed to give up.

"Oh, there are tons of places I'd love to visit," the Master nodded and pulled his sleeves slightly up. Just enough to let the handcuffs blink.

"Alright, I get it," the other Time Lord sighed. "Will you _not_ try to kill me, blow anything up or do any other harm if I take them off?"

"Of course," the Master drawled. "No idea why you even think I would."

All that followed was a deep sigh.

Roka still watched the two, taking her wine glass and leaned back in her chair. "Wouldn't it be way easier to just let us go?" she pondered. "Don't think this will lead anywhere, Doctor."

"I'm not holding _you_ somewhere!" he protested a bit whiney. "What are you even doing here?!"

"Isn't that obvious, Doctor?" The Master waved his hand to the table. "We're having a date."

Roka almost choked on the wine and had to set the glass back onto the table. Her protest never left her mouth though, when the Master gave her a roguish wink and nodded his eyes towards the Doctor. She understood immediately as she saw his dumbfounded face.

"You're kidding me!" he let out in a slightly panicking voice. "I... I mean... you're not really... uh... you're not, right?" A help-seeking glance wandered to Roka.

"Oh, but of course." She nodded, deciding to play along.

"B... but...!" The Doctor looked as if he had seen a ghost, then spun around to the Master. "You can't just hypnotize people and..."

"Tch, told you, it's not possible!"

"What for anyway?" Roka seconded and casually leaned an arm over the back of her chair. "'S not as if I could say _no_ to dating such a handsome alien."

A short hint of surprise whizzed over the Master's face, but he caught himself immediately and grinned widely, before he leaned onto the table, hands folded under his chin. His eyes were gleaming impishly at her. "Any... suggestions how to proceed? If not I'd have plenty." He smirked widely, knocking her out of any mental balance she might have had.

Before Roka could find her speech again, the Doctor appeared in her line of sight. "You're... serious?" he wondered.

The Master shot him a glance, leaned back in his chair and picked up the wineglass to rotate it in his hand. "Well, _you_ never wanted," he said nonchalantly, hiding a mean smile behind the glass.

The Doctor promptly froze, his eyes full of disbelieve and a slight hint of panic.

"Can you believe it?" The Master winked at Roka. "That guy had a real crush on me in his early two-hundreds."

"Masteeer!" the other man whined. "Don't..."

"...spill out a nasty little secret of yours? Oh, whoooooops." He dramatically put a hand in front of his mouth.

Roka had a really hard time keeping herself from giggling, although she could hardly imagine it to be true. Seeing the Doctor shift uncomfortably almost was a kind of conformation though, making the situation only more hilarious.

"That... it was super long ago!" he finally exclaimed.

"Oh, no reason to be ashamed. Haven't you heard? I'm a handsome guy after all." A smug grin widened on his face, showing how much fun he obviously had right now.

"No... I mean yes... but no!" the Doctor's eyes wandered to Roka, begging for help.

But she already understood that this was the Master's revenge for having a secret of his own revealed not long ago. And it wasn't as if it would hurt anyone, so she played along, glancing at the Doctor's helpless eyes and nodded towards the Master.

"Don't try anything. I'm not going to share him." From the corner of her eyes she saw a mean grin widen on the other one's face.

"I... I'm not! Not even a bit!" Now the Doctor's voice was desperate. "Why are you doing this?" he whined.

"Uhm..." the Master cocked his head slightly, putting a finger onto his lips as if he had to think about that question. Then his eyes lit up and he pointed the finger into the air. "Because I'm evil and I enjoy seeing you suffer. How about that?" And the smile on his face couldn't be more genuine.

A whimper came from the Doctor and he seemed to finally realize that there was no way he would get out of this situation without making it any worse. "I... I just let you two alone!" His voice way too high as he stormed out of the kitchen.

Both burst out into laughter a few seconds after and didn't stop for quite a while. Finally Roka wiped a tear away and grinned at the Master.

"That was a bit mean."

"Yup, but he totally deserved it. And before you ask, it _is_ true." He winked at her, filling their glasses once more. "I had some pity and asked him out once, but he refused."

Roka chuckled, but then a weird thought came to her. "Wait... that's not the reason you hate him, right?"

He snorted and took a sip. "You read too many of those Japanese comics." With a chuckle he leaned further back into his chair, making it bob up and down with his foot. "No, no. We were almost still children back then... But if you really want to know..." His gaze wandered into the distance. "I guess it started after... this _accident_. Since then he kept his distance and some years later I one day found out he was gone. Just like that. Without saying a word." Slowly he looked down and to Roka, smiling. "After that the reasons kept piling up, literally each time we met. There are too many nowadays to count them."

She simply nodded. That made sense somehow, although she would probably never understand it completely. But it was nice that he hadn't evaded the question at least.

"Jealous?" he suddenly asked with a mocking grin.

Her eyes glinted back sarcastically. "What if?"

With a thud the legs of his chair landed on the floor and he leaned slightly over the table. "You want me all for yourself then?"

Roka mirrored his pose, but since the table wasn't too small there still was lots of space between them. "That would be asked quite a lot, considering both of our life spans." She cracked a smile. "For a little while though..."

"As if you could handle me," the Master derisively retorted and rested his chin on folded hands.

"Very unlikely," Roka confirmed. "Now stop fooling around. The Doctor's gone." She giggled.

"Who says I am?" Slowly he leaned back again, grabbed his glass and emptied the rest, before he threw another glance at Roka. "Now... since we're having a date..."

"We so totally don't!" she protested automatically. "I just played along."

"Then play a little while longer. I'm horribly bored."

Roka sighed. "I... don't think this would help it much. And we can't even leave... Except if you don't want to take the Doctor's offer," she closed with a mean smile.

"Stop mentioning him. That ruins my mood." He rolled his eyes and shuddered dramatically. "Almost makes me think you'd rather date _him_." He started bobbing his chair up and down again.

Roka wrinkled her nose, but then gave him the same mocking grin she had received before. "Jealous?"

The Master slowly grinned at the ceiling, before looking down again. "Mhm, maybe. And _I_ don't care about your lifespan." He then suddenly stood up and came over, reaching his hand out to her. "I know something. I bet you've never seen it."

Roka looked perplex at his hand, then up to his face to see what he might be up to. But the impish look was gone, replaced by a warm smile. Something she had thought to be impossible just a few weeks ago.

"You can't move around," she remembered him.

"It's in the library. And since you can't read our language it's highly unlikely you discovered it yourself."

Still a bit hesitant she got up and took his hand, and he bowed down to place a small kiss on hers with a smile. "Let me show you the stars, little crow," he said in a husky voice.

Totally unprepared for something like this, Roka's heart rate sped up and she followed silently, a bit flushed. They reached a part of the library that had a delicate star shaped mosaic on the ground. Without letting go of her hand, the Master trod to a panel and made a few gestures in front of it. Some lights appeared and he tapped against one.

The pattern on the ground began to shift and rotate slowly, before it opened up and the pieces slid backwards into the ground, revealing a big, blue glowing orb inside that was constantly rotating. The lights in this part of the library automatically dimmed as the sphere rose from the ground, seemingly held by nothing.

"Whoa, what is that?" Roka asked astonished. She really hadn't found this on her own.

"One of navigation cores of the TARDIS." The Master watched as the sphere rose further into the air in front of them, bathing everything in its eerie light.

"Uh... don't tell me you want to sabotage it..."

A chuckle came from him, before he shook his head. "No, that would be suicide, especially inside the Vortex." He nudged her and nodded upwards, where the lights had drawn a star pattern onto the ceiling. "There, look at it." Now his voice was calm, almost a whisper. "The stars above Gallifrey."

Roka glared at them, feeling weird all of a sudden. So small and insignificant. And somehow also... sad. She hadn't seen the Master move, but a moment later he put his arms around her from behind and she leaned back at him.

"The place where it all started. And now it's gone," he said in a low voice. "Feels strange to know I can never return. Not that I liked it much there..."

Although it was sad, Roka couldn't hold back a small laugh. "That's exactly what _you_ always plan to do with earth."

"Tz, that rock is nothing in comparison. And it's not as if it would bother _you_ much, right?"

"No, not so much," she confessed. "Not as long as I have any means to travel at least. Even... if it would have to be alone." A moment of silence spread and she thought back to earlier when she had found the library empty. Carefully she turned around in his arms and buried her face in his shirt. "I... I thought you were gone," she mumbled finally and felt a noiseless laugh.

"I know it's asked _too_ much... but trust me a little bit," he murmured into her ear. "I wouldn't just vanish alone." With that he clutched her a bit tighter. "For that I enjoy this too much. And I don't like leaving behind my possessions anyway."

"I'm not your possession." Roka chuckled, sending an amused look up to him. "You scribbled your name onto me... but I think I still have a saying in that."

"No. No you don't," he snickered.

For a while they stood there, the Master watching the glowing sphere and the stars above their heads, both enjoying the presence of the other one.

At some point Roka mumbled smiling, "It's still not a date."

"It totally is," the Master protested, sounding as if he wore a wide grin. "And not even the worst I ever had."

"I bet the others all ended bad." She giggled.

"Well... mostly with everyone wanting to slap me... don't slap me."

Roka giggled some more and clutched him. "And there I have sooo many reasons to do so."

But she didn't. It was way too comfortable like that and if it were for her, time could freeze now. When she peeked up after a few seconds, the Master was staring up to the artificial stars and his look wore a deep longing for them.

There also was a slight twitch in his eyes from time to time... It seemed to happen so much more often now, making Roka wish it would only be a trick of the lights.


	39. Old Gods

The TARDIS shook violently as the Doctor scurried around the console to stabilize their flight. Right now he was proving once more why he had never passed his flight exam at the academy, as the Master never got tired mentioning.

Hearing the familiar landing sound of the old lady made Roka smile though. That sound always was like a promise, a call to adventure. Especially this time, since the boredom was gnawing on her a lot more than she had ever imagined it could.

Very obviously the Master did have the very same problem, maybe even more since he also had to drown out the drums somehow. Both had worn him down enough to finally, and not without a bunch of protests and snarky remarks, agree to follow the Doctor outside to some adventure.

Maybe it also had something to do with Roka checking her ear-stud to find out she would be visible to everyone for at least the next fifteen hours or so. And then - just maybe - had been a _tiny_ little bit annoying about it.

There had been rules though. The bracelets stayed at the Master's wrists, much to his and Roka's demise. But the Doctor had deactivated the shocks, so he wouldn't zap the other one by accident. However, they still would prevent the Master from teleporting.

Right now he leaned against one of the walls, arms folded and a sour look on his face as he was clearly not delighted about being defeated by boredom. Roka, standing next to him, was indulged in reveries about in what way this would end in some disaster, having not the slightest doubt that exactly this was about to happen. She peeked at the Master and moments later they grinned at each other, both having their own thoughts how this might end.

When the landing sounds faded and the Doctor opened the doors they found themselves inside a huge cave, filled with stalagmites and stalactites, that were spiralled by freckles of some slightly glowing fungi. From here it was hard to grasp the actual measurements of the place, but the eerie green glow showed enough to let one guess that it might reach thousands of meters into the stone. A turquoise shimmering stream of water slowly snaked a path through the ground. Roka crouched down to look inside and found patches of glowing algae softly waving in the stream.

"You must have dreamed seeing trapped people in here," the Master groaned as he took in his surroundings. Nothing indicated any signs of life apart from the plants. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and then folded his arms. "Whatever, where are we anyway?"

"Ahm, the Thekarat-G nebulae. Uncharted sector, very promising." The Doctor swiftly hopped to the water and ran a hand through it, before taking a sip and spitting it out again. "Wouldn't drink that. Not poisonous, but... err... probably not very good for your stomach either." He swirled around and jumped up to grab some of the fungi from a stalactite, lettings his sonic whir over it. "Doesn't produce spores, interesting. Very harmless... could use some as decoration... want to take some with you, Roka?" A toothy grin spread on his face. "I know you like collecting souvenirs."

"It will just rot away, Doctor." She smiled back. "But if we find some glowing stones I'll totally take one."

It was as if she had never been away and she snapped back into the usual adventurous mood that always overcame her when she was out with the Time Lord. Although back in the old days she had never been that enthusiastic, never enjoyed it that extensively. With a smirk she turned towards the Master. "Wipe that sour face away. This is actually pretty cool."

He did... only to replace it with annoyance. "It's a dull cave... nothing fancy about it."

"But it glows!" Roka spread her arms and grinned. She could see the slight smile playing around the corners of his mouth, although he seemed to try very hard to _not_ enjoy this at all.

"Seriously... I showed you at least twenty glowing caves. How can they still amaze you?"

"They are all different." She shrugged.

"Aaaand!" The Doctor was done scanning the surroundings. "I actually went here cause I caught a signal. Can't decipher it, but it's not natural." He nodded his head towards where the water was flowing. "Come on, this way." He lead with brisk steps.

The Master sighed deeply and went after him, followed by Roka. Only a few hundred meters away the small stream bent around a curve and as they followed, they found themselves gaping into a pitch black chasm. None of the glowing stuff seemed to be growing there, but what kept it from doing so stayed a mystery. The stream flew down a steep slope, bordered by thin, slick paths to both sides. Carefully the Doctor led them down one of them, using his sonic as a light source as they left the radius of the fungi.

The path ended soon and lead them back to solid ground; the faint light from above hinted at another gigantic cavern. Eventually darkness fully engulfed them as they proceeded, deep and thick as if it were a living thing. The sonic's light cut through it as if through flesh, barely able to illuminate their surroundings.

Roka stayed close to the Master and eventually reached for his hand.

"Scared?" He chuckled.

"Not sure..." She tried to perceive her surroundings, but it was impossible. "It's just... a weird feeling, nothing else."

"Mhm... I know what you mean. Stay close." He clutched her hand firmly.

Some minutes later the Doctor finally halted and waved them over. Even on _his_ face was some visible tension. He cranked up the sonic's power, but the light still barely managed to banish the darkness. It fell over the nooks, cracks and bulbs of an obsidian black stone wall. Lines and curves and dots and other patterns were etched into it, forming foreboding images of fish-like creatures, of small crab-like species with leathern wings and an allusion of something gigantic, that had to fill the whole rest of the darkness-engulfed wall.

"Impressive, ey?" The Doctor remarked with a grin. "The sonic tracks the signal to this place. It has to come from inside. But..." he moved a few steps to the side, making the light reveal more hints of the monstrous entity on the wall. Details that were hard to grasp, shapes and geometry that was too far away from anything Roka knew to let her even look at it for long without feeling her head spin.

"I... don't like this," she remarked in a whisper, moving closer to the Master. "Reminds me too much of Lovecraft."

"Och, don't tell me you find that stuff really creepy. That's not fair."

"Cthulhu is a lot scarier than _you_ will ever be," she retorted, trying to sound sarcastic, but the strange feeling seemed to be closing in on her, like a pack of predatory beings.

He snorted, but pulled her in front of him, protectively folding his arms around her shoulders. Both watched the Doctor walking up and down the wall, until he found what he had been searching for. But even he was quieter now and a bit less fidgety.

"There!" He pointed towards a small round stone plate. As the two came closer they could see that it was littered with weird entangled symbols, shapes and slopes, like windings arms and fumbling fingers. "Any ideas how to open it?"

Now definitely interest the Master bent down a bit to study the symbols, his finger carefully tracing some of its lines and shapes. He then rotated the plate, letting a low grinding sound reverberate through the cave.

"Lovecraft might not even be too farfetched," he mumbled, concentrated glaring at the plate. "Maybe none of the old ones themselves, but... ancient. It's hard to look at it for long."

"Ah, so it wasn't just me," the Doctor noted, nodding his head. He started to bob up and down on his heels, glancing around as if he could actually see anything in the darkness. "What do you think?"

Roka watched the two and was more amazed about how the Master didn't bother with initiating a fight, but was instead fully indulged in deciphering the plate. She trod a little closer, but regretted it soon. "I literally get sick from watching those symbols for too long." She took a deep breath and turned away. "You're sure this is a distress signal, Doctor? Looks more like an ancient trap to me."

"Uhm... weeeell... could be, yes," he admitted, having an adventurous glint in his eyes though. "But it's rare enough to find something the TARDIS doesn't translate!"

"Means this is probably older than us," the Master mumbled, while rotating the plate in different directions. "Which is usually never a good thing. But I'm intrigued." The sound of stone grinding on stone filled the darkness for a while, as he tried out different ideas.

Roka turned around again and took a deep breath before she looked at the symbols again, determined to not let them play with her again. The dizziness came back almost immediately, but she fought against it, and slowly, as if it were a living thing, it backed off and eventually vanished completely. Now she could make out the shapes and realized fascinated that they really did move slightly, like inky tentacles, reaching around each other. Some entwined themselves, others got pushed away.

"May I?" she asked, suddenly having an idea.

The Master laughed, but made way to stand behind her with folded arms and an amused grin on his face.

"I might be wrong... but if we rotate it so that all the patterns intertwine..." It took all her strength to rotate the stone, but eventually she found a spot where it seemed to work.

"Surprise," the Master chuckled, when nothing happened.

"Wait until they grab each other." Roka held out a hand to stop him from coming closer.

"Grab... each other?" The Doctor sounded surprised and also a bit worried. "But they don't move."

"Congratulations, your ape brain got fried." A mean chuckle came from the Master, but when Roka turned around to look at him, his face showed concern. Then he pinched his eyes at her. "What do you see?"

Roka turned back to the stone and watched. "The patterns... they move and intertwine. It's almost done. But I couldn't see it before I fought back that weird sickness from before."

Suddenly the sound of stone grinding against stone returned, but this time a lot louder than before. The plate violently snapped into the stone with a loud bang and slowly the wall shifted, moved, opened up, grinding against the ground.

"You did it!" The Doctor jumped in the air and grinned widely.

Eventually the grinding came to a halt and they were left with a gaping maw of even deeper darkness, if that was even possible. With a last glance at each other the three entered the menacing shadow of the stone doors, _ready to get swallowed and devoured by whatever nightmarish abomination might lurk inside the deepest and most ancient swarthiness of the slumbering stones. Come, come child, enter the shadows, don't fight them. Be one with us._

Roka bumped against the Master and got ripped out of her weird thoughts. The two men had stopped and stared at her, both having a mix of worry and curiosity on their faces.

"Wh... what are you staring at me?" she asked perplex.

"You, ahm..." the Doctor came to her, "just talked. And it wasn't any human language." He let his sonic whir over her. "Neither anything we two could understand... No readings..."

"Your shields are still weak... and something is playing mind tricks," the Master growled. "And it's not even me. I'll bring you back to the TARDIS."

"Whoa, no way!" Roka took a step back.

"We have no idea what we're dealing with." He folded his arms and grinned nasty. "There might be a lot worse things waiting than me."

Roka threw a pleading look at the Doctor, but he too seemed to be concerned.

"Damn you two!" she burst out. "I might not have some super powers like you, but I'm not... I can handle this! Stop protecting me. The _both_ of you!" The last words were mostly directed at the Master. "I'm not going back."

"I don't know if we can protect you," the Doctor objected carefully, but at the same time his eyes wandered towards the Master, looking equally surprised and puzzled, as if he was astonished at how worried he was about Roka.

"Well, you could be of use in here. You see things we don't... and if it's even communicating with you..."

"No, Master! We can't just _use_ her like that!"

"I don't mind," Roka grinned from ear to ear.

"But...!"

"Shut up, Doctor." The Master waved Roka over. When she was in front of him, he grabbed her shoulders firmly, lowered his head and stared her right in the eyes. "There is a way... Would let me see through your eyes and at the same time enable me to shield you."

"No!" The Doctor rushed next to them, a look of incredulity on his face. "That's too invasive!"

"Without her we might leave empty handed though," the Master objected. "And a place as old as this..." He waved a hand into the darkness around. "Wouldn't that be a shame? There could be riches beyond imagination... or weapons. Knowledge that could make me the most dangerous man in the universe." The thought made him grin.

"Reason enough to leave!"

"I too want to know what's in here." Roka smiled. "So, how does this work?"

"Mhm... it _is_ a bit invasive... most Time Lords would even call it... _intimate_."

"He has to enter your mind!" the Doctor blurted out. "That's... you can't just do that!"

Perplex Roka blinked at him. "Why not? I mean... it's kinda unpleasant, but..."

The Doctor sighed and threw a warning and mean glare at the Master, probably guessing that he had done that with her at least once. He spoke to Roka, but looked at the Master while doing so, "Well, most telepathic species would equal an unauthorized intrusion in another one's mind with... well, almost like rape."

Was she imagining it, or had the Master's face just really taken on a slightly more reddish colour?

Roka folded her arms and pointedly glared at him, more amused than actually peeved, while he refused to look at her.

"Humans aren't a telepathic species!" he burst out, his eyes darting angrily between the two.

"Uh-huh," Roka made, her amusement growing when his head really did take on a darker tone. With a mean chuckle she trod to him and tugged at his sleeve. "Well, this time you have my allowance." She grinned. "I want to know what's inside this cave."

Finally he looked at her, his face cooling down again, and he arched a questioning brow. "Just like that?"

"It's... I guess not a big deal for humans." She shrugged with a smile.

"This is more than just mind reading though... it's..." He glared into her eyes, suddenly very serious. "Do you trust me?"

Roka gulped as she understood that the answer to this question would mean a lot more than just yes or no. Did she? Could she trust _him_ , who had hurt her so often, who had never even once given her a reason to do so? She looked into his eyes, searching for an answer in them. Those ancient portals she couldn't take her own eyes off. They stood still, not twitching even slightly. And there was more, she could see it clearly, those depths that felt like glaring into the nightly sky, like falling endlessly into the darkness. It was a silent communication, no words could describe their thoughts, but she knew, knew that she would follow him to hell and worse places if he went there, saw and knew that he would let no harm happen to her, as long as he was able to prevent it.

Slowly, she nodded and smiled. "Yes, I do."

He grinned and placed a careful kiss to her forehead, like a seal, before he put the tips of his fingers at her temples. "I'll establish a psychic connection," he explained. "Whatever enters your mind, I will perceive it too. Worst case I can cut you off from it. It... err... also means..."

"He can sense literally everything you do. And also the other way around." The Doctor sounded not very happy. "I'm still against it. It's just wrong!"

"No, it's fine." Roka chuckled. "It's not as if there's anything left I could hide anyway." Her smirk got mean.

"I'll shield myself from you. You won't have to deal with my thoughts or anything else." He grinned back.

"Yah, be nice, or I'll bombard your mind with the worst puns I can come up with."

"That's all? I could put some very... _interesting_ images into _your_ mind." He leaned closer, cupping her chin, and in a whisper he added, "And not only images."

Roka blushed horribly, but couldn't prevent a grin.

"Then I'll send some nasty images back," she countered with an eye-nod towards the Doctor, satisfied seeing the Master's face drop in disgust.

"Ahem..." The Doctor came forward and shifted impatiently. "Don't want to interrupt, but could you two maybe... stop flirting and... I mean... I really want to know what's in there."

With an eye-roll the Master turned towards him. "Shut up. You don't even know what flirting _looks_ like." But he turned around and gave Roka a wink. "Alright. Close your eyes."

Roka nodded and did it. Not even a second later something flushed her head. It wasn't like when she had entered his mind, there were no images or other foreign sensations. It felt like floating, like hovering in space, falling into eternity. A rush of adrenalin went through her body, cold and hot at the same time. And then he was there, right next to her, floating in the same space, although without any physical form, reaching an ethereal hand out to her. Without hesitation she took it and immediately felt a pull in her very essence as she got catapulted out of space and back into her body.

"You're all right?" the Master asked curiously.

Roka nodded, but wasn't so sure about it. She felt weird, lighter as usual and somehow as if there was something slightly tapping at the edge of her thoughts.

"That's normal. Just ignore it."

 _'Right, you can read my thoughts now...'_ she pondered and furrowed her brows. Could he feel that too?

"Yup. I can."

She opened her eyes and faced the widest imaginable grin on his face. The Doctor moved carefully around them, as if to make sure everything was all right. A bit of impatience was there too. And right as he opened his mouth to say something the Master raised a hand.

"Works. We can go on."

"You're okay?" The Doctor asked Roka.

She nodded. "Yeah, it's just a bit weird. Especially since that pervert over there can now read everything I think."

The Master snickered and gave her an expressive wink.

"Well then. On we go!" The Doctor grinned and lead the way, his sonic barely illuminating the darkness around.

After a while it seemed as if the light from it was dying down, but Roka realized that it actually got brighter around them. Here and there she was now able to make out vague shapes of... she had no idea of what. It weren't buildings, but also not statues. Their surroundings seemed to consist of a collection of gigantic weird artificial shapes, bending and twisting and spiralling in ways that made her feel sick again. Some of them were several meters thick or long and twisted themselves up into the darkness, that reached farther than she could even imagine. It felt like walking through a...

 _"...a forest of stone,"_ the Master telepathically ended her thought. And loud he added, "Who- or whatever build this must have been quite advanced."

"Or they had the ability to form stone in some... mhmm... other way." The Doctor scanned some of the pillars and shook his head. "I can't make out any traces of tools. It's like those pillars _grew_ like that."

Or they were sung into that form, it shot through Roka's head. _Sung and cradled until they could grow and stand, mighty and old, like we once were._

The Master gave her a questioning look, but didn't stop her when she stood in front of a pillar and reached a hand out to touch it. An electric spark went through her fingers, up her arm and through her whole body. No, not a spark, it was more like a wave, a sound, reverberating through her. It... sang. A soft melody, lulling her into a trance.

"That's enough," a soft voice said, closing off the connection between her and the pillar.

When she opened her eyes again, the Master was telling the Doctor about what she had thought and the other man nodded interested. Weird how those two could work together so well when there was a mystery to be solved.

 _"Necessary evil."_ The thought sounded as if it was accompanied by a grin.

They continued their way through the forest of singing stones, as Roka silently called it, towards an ever brightening, greenish light. They came to a halt as their way, once more, was blocked by a huge stone door that must reach at least two hundred meters into the air, merging with the almost black stone around it. The green light seemed to come from the cracks that had split the door during the past aeons.

Or maybe by something else...

"You read too many horror stories," the Master teased and nudged her.

"It's rather that I've met too many aliens," she retorted. "Of which you're by the way not the most evil one I ever encountered."

He sulked a bit and sent a picture of burning books into her mind. Roka giggled at the childish act and promptly answered with a few really bad puns, satisfied feeling him flinch.

"You two have way too much fun with this," the Doctor sighed, watching them as they continued their mental battle for a bit, before he turned away to take a look at the door. "Too bad, that crack isn't wide enough to get through. But there's another stone dial."

Roka looked at it and felt sick immediately. Those symbols were a lot stranger than the ones outside and looking at them made the edges of her field of view blur slightly, as if a mass of black, creeping tentacles was moving there, ready to grip her sanity.

Then they got wiped away. She could feel the Master in her mind, pushing the darkness out of it until she could see clear and make out the intertwining patterns on the stone dial. He bent down and rotated it into the position he could see through her.

Moments later the plate snapped into the stone as the last one had, but the mechanism seemed to be too old and too broken. Instead of the doors swinging open, there were ear piercing grinding sounds, then a loud crash reverberating through the darkness, followed by greenish light spilling out from a widening crack in the door, as the stone crumbled away from it.

"Oh, neat!" The Doctor let out. "Now it should be big... enough..." He turned to move sideways through the crack. "Oh, holy mother of Akozishon!" he exclaimed from the other side. "By the fires of Jopisar! Come here, quick!"

"Never heard him _that_ excited," Roka said startled.

They followed, pushing themselves through the narrow crack. After the darkness of the stone forest the bright green glow was almost overwhelming and Roka had to squint her eyes for a few moments.

 _"By Cthulhu's mighty arse..."_ it sounded in her mind and made her chuckle. _"You will love that!"_

Carefully she opened her eyes fully and gaped at the sight. The room must be several kilometres long in each direction. Every centimetre of wall she could make out was carved with symbols and disturbing images of ancient beings. There were also giant green crystals embedded into them, from which the light emerged. The cave was a perfect sphere, sloping down into a deep pit in front of their feet. Gigantic steps lead down to the bottom, and there, on a sort of altar as big as a fallen sky scraper...

A monstrous entity sat on top of it. Half as high as the chasm. It's head a formless mass of sunken in leather, draped over a skeleton that showed that it once had teeth, long as a person. At least ten different limbs sprang from all over the creature and on its back sat a rotted away shape of leather that might have been gigantic wings at some point.

It was dead, obviously. And although its shape was too strange for Roka to comprehend, it still looked peaceful, as if it had accepted its fate, being trapped inside here for eternity, damned to die. Damned to...

_See the remains of our realm falter, see the last of our offspring die, hear the screams of those we once loved and those we used to loath. Fire fell down from the abyss of the void, the spiral claimed us all. It made us whole, it broke us apart. We looked into time, we saw, we heard, we felt. And we ceased. Child of man, leave. This is no place for your kind. And take the children of time away with you, for they have no right to claim another glance._

A hand on her shoulder made Roka spin around. The Master stood behind her, his fingers almost painfully digging into her skin. He stared down to the titanic carcass with clenched teeth. Through the mental connection she could feel how agitated he was, although the words she had heard didn't make too much sense to her. And where had they came from? From the dead creature?

"Do you..." he barely got the words out and took a sharp breath in. "...have any idea... what that is?"

Roka shook her head and looked around for the Doctor. He was canvassing the walls and scanning some of the pictures, not paying any attention to them. The Master let go of Roka's shoulder and started to descent the stairs. After a moment of hesitation she followed, awaiting another warning from whatever had spoken to her before. But nothing came.

The ancient carcass raised higher and higher above their heads the deeper they climbed, burying them in a deep shadow. Slowly Roka could make out that the altar on which it sat was covered in symbols and images too. It had the same greyish black colour as the creature and was littered with more green crystals, bathing them into an eerie light as they came closer. Roka felt like an ant when she looked upwards, the dead creature towering above them in its unimaginable size.

Carved into the ground in front of the creature was a slight depression, shimmering and reflecting the glow. It seemed to be filled with liquid and from its ground came another shimmer of turquoise. Small and round, as if from a sphere.

A weird feeling shot through her. Excitement, fear, anticipation. She realized it must come from the Master and it alarmed her. Up to this point she hadn't felt much from him. That she did now could only mean he didn't bother. Whatever was there, it had all of his attention. He didn't even react to her train of thoughts. Instead he knelt down in front of the pond and glared into the water.

Roka hurried to get to him and lowered herself too. There really was a sphere inside the water. Tiny compared to their surroundings, small enough to probably fit perfectly into her hand. It sat inside a contraption of black metal, guarded by a single quadratic button, that would probably release the sphere when pressed.

"What is it?" she asked. It was weird to be able to feel his heartbeat almost as strong as her own. It was fast, excited. And frightened.

 _"The untempered schism,"_ a thought shot into her head, reverberating deep and low through her mind. "A key to it at least."

Roka gasped as she suddenly realized what the entity had hinted at.

"Exactly that one." A grin spread on his face. "Just... think about it. What I could do with that! There is so... so much power inside it."

Hastily she grabbed his arm. "But isn't it dangerous? I mean... what about the drums?"

"Don't you get it?" He looked at her, a manic glint in his eyes. "They came from it! Maybe I can just put them back! And then... oh... ohhhh..." His voice vibrated with anticipation. "Owning the universe would be nothing but a small road trip."

"Hey wait! Don't just...!"

It was too late. The Master was already wading into the ankle-deep fluid. Probably just water, but it was reckless anyway. In the middle of the pond he bowed down and pressed the button.

What happened next was a blurry of images and impressions Roka could hardly tell apart from each other. There was a sharp pain in her shoulder, a whisper and images. Images of fire raining down onto something vaguely resembling a city, buildings of heavy stone crumbling down violently, dust bulging into all devouring clouds. There were screams and crying and the smell of burning leather and flesh. Feelings of rage and sorrow, anger and... unadulterated madness.

A light shone through the visions, turquoise shimmering, rolling directly in front of her feet. Instinctively Roka reached down and picked up the small sphere, looked inside to see swirling smoke, strokes of light dancing around each other eternally. She saw, no she felt... like being dragged inside this swirl, her inside pulling outwards, her head spinning, her stomach twisting. Shivering she sank to her knees, clutching the sphere in her hand like a treasure.

Then everything faded and she could think clearly again. Perplex she shook her head to get rid of those images. She looked around, seeing the Master next to her, sitting on the ground as if he had just collapsed there and staring numbly into nothingness.

Before she could react though, the voice from before spoke again, now deep and echoing through her very essence.

_Now the stars will devour you, time will tear you asunder, for I will let you leave this place no more._

Something grabbed her mind, like a strong hand. It wasn't the Master, it was this entity, drilling into her thoughts, filling it with nightmares so horrifying there were no words to describe them. From the edge of her consciousness she could hear herself screaming as the power of the ancient god rushed through her.

Aeons passed, an eternity faded into a second. Through the veil of nightmares she could see and feel the pain, the fear of someone else, next to her, clutching his head, overwhelmed by the all-consuming power as much as herself. She tried to reach him, tell him to cut off their connection. But at the same moment she heard them again... the drums. Leaking into her so loud they almost chased away the harrowing images.

Then she felt hands on her shoulders, strong and firm.

"You can cancel the connection to the Master yourself!" a familiar voice cried out. "I know it's hard. But you _have_ to!"

It was almost impossible to put any meaning to his words, but the mere presence of the Doctor seemed to mitigate the horror. She remembered. He was there, always. Getting everyone out of trouble. He was the calmness of falling snow, the raging storm in the night. "How?" she asked weakly.

"Remember how it felt when the connection was established. Go back to that moment. There has to be some kind of thread connecting the two of you. Cut it through."

She felt how he clutched her shoulders firmly and got calmer, breathing deeply, pushing away the images until she could summon the space she had been in with the Master. There she could feel his presence, twisting and swirling, barely clinging to sanity. There it was! A thin line of golden light. Roka reached after it with both hands and with a quick yank tore it apart.

Everything went black at once.


	40. Lost

There was neither light or sound, nor any space around Roka. Nothing indicated how much time had passed, if any at all. It might have been a minute... or eternity, before a sudden jolt went through her essence, and once more the feeling of being slammed back into her body shook her awake from the weird space her mind had been in. Memories rushed back to her and she shot up, only to get dizzy immediately and slump down to the cold ground again. When she finally opened her eyes, Roka saw that she was still in front of the giant carcass.

But she was alone.

Silence pressed against her ears as if it were a living being, each and every movement of hers sending small noises reverberating through the spherical room. Here and there the dead leather above her - Inaudible on its own, but amplified through the space around - creaked, moaned, cried out into the void.

Where were the Doctor and the Master? And had she managed to cut the connection to him? Why were they gone?

She took a deep breath and decided to wait. They were probably getting the TARDIS down here.

But as time passed and neither the two Time Lords nor the blue box appeared, something dawned on Roka. The nightmares must have overwhelmed the Master as much as herself, so he probably had been either unconscious or at least not far from it when the Doctor had gotten back with the TARDIS.

And the Doctor...

She tapped the ear stud, although she already knew what it would show. Her visible time was up. He hadn't been able to remember her.

They were gone.

Slowly the weight of this thought sunk in, but then she shook her head violently. The Master still remembered and would tell the Doctor to return. Although... a nasty voice in her head told of another possibility. Something she had never thought about and had never had the chance to test. Did she have to be present for people to remember her, or was mentioning her enough? Because if not... the Doctor would think she was only another hallucination, something he would thought of as made up, like the drums, or something to trick him.

Time passed. Roka curled herself up to a ball on the ground and didn't even feel how cold it was. The entity didn't speak to her anymore, no matter how often she begged. It was useless. Only the creaking leather answered uselessly.

If mentioning her would be enough... they would have returned by now, right? The Doctor would jump to a moment where she hadn't been in here for hours... or days. But the longer she waited the more she felt time passing, though only because through growing hunger and thirst. But she couldn't leave. What if they returned?

Her stomach twisted, her throat was dry. Carefully she took a small sip from the water inside the pond, but spit it out immediately. It tasted bitter and not drinkable at all. She had to get back to the stream.

Roka slept. More out of exhaustion than tiredness, and the cold and her own body made it impossible to get rested well. She had to get out of here before all strength would have left her. There was a small stone... she took it up and scratched a few words into the ground.

_Getting water. Wait for me._

She had stayed for too long. Her legs barely carried her through the forest of singing stones, making the way feel ten times as long as it had been before. Roka didn't dare to touch any of the dark pillars. Without the Master to shield her, who knows what would happen.

And she didn't want to think of him. If they truly were gone... tears sprang to her eyes and she was too weak to hold them back. If only she hadn't been visible at that exact bloody moment! If only, a nastier voice inside her reminded, she hadn't been so persistent on coming along instead of returning to the TARDIS.

Desperate she sent out a cry for help, hoping that she hadn't severed her connection to the Master completely. Maybe it hadn't worked, maybe she wasn't strong enough to cut such a bond for good, maybe there still was _something_.

She tried and tried, while dragging herself through the cave, past twisted shapes, surrounding her like hungry monstrosities, until she finally realized that it was in vain.

He was gone. They wouldn't return.

Eventually she broke down, sank to her knees and simply stared up to the darkness that swallowed the ceiling, begged the ancient entity to take her life at least. There was no use in moving on. How should she ever find a way out of those caves? And even if, what then? This planet wasn't inhabited, there was no way to leave it. There wasn't even a guarantee that there were edible plants and drinkable water for her.

Alone.

Suddenly she laughed. Laughed and cried out at the same time. She had always known that the glitch would curse her to a lonely death, but never had she thought that it would be so... literal. Especially not since the Master had claimed her life. Cruel or not, if he would be the one ending it, she wouldn't have to be alone.

A deep, shaky breath escaped Roka and she dragged herself up to continue the way. She had to get water. And then... maybe some of the glowing plants were edible. She had to stay alive. Had to wait. One day the Master would escape the Doctor. And then he would return to get her, right?

Right?

Did he even care though? Sure, he acted like she meant _something_ to him. And if she only was a nice distraction, an excuse to not be alone... it was enough. But would it be enough to return?

Roka shook her head. If she intended to stay alive, she had to organize her thoughts. No doubts allowed. No negativity. The Master was the only being in all of time and space that was allowed to take her life. Period. She would stay strong. There was no other way. And with that thought a bit of strength returned to her legs and her steps finally lead her to the giant stone door through which they had entered this realm of ancient horror.

Her eyes had gotten so used to the darkness around that she actually could make them out.

She ran.

Her hand touched the black stone and she pushed herself through the opening, stumbling to the other side.

And fell to her knees.

She had made it outside! Finally!

Her head raised to the cloudy sky above and she watched in awe as thick flakes of snow glided down around her. They fell onto her face and cooled her skin, fell into her eyes and froze her tears, fell onto her stuck out tongue and made her giggle.

They fell onto the snowy hills around and into the frozen lake nearby.

Roka smiled. She loved those hills. It was so much fun to pretend to be a snowball, packed in her warm snowsuit as she was, and roll them down with a yelp. Only to run up and repeat it. Or she could take the sledge. That was fun too.

She got up and ran up the next hill. There it was, waiting for her. And next to it stood a man. She knew him so well, his brown, untidy hair, his chocolate colored eyes that glinted roguishly. His warm smile that made her feel safe, no matter how scared she was. Later they would watch the snow from inside where it was warm, drinking hot chocolate under a blanket, and he would tell her fantastic stories.

Roka ran towards him and spread her arms to give him a big hug around his waist, as she always did. One day she would jump around his neck, but right now she hadn't grown big enough to reach that high. So she just bumped into him, giggling happily.

"Hello, Papa!"

* * *

"Hello, Papa..." Roka mumbled and leaned her head closer to his chest. She didn't wake up though. The entity was still holding on to her mind.

A mean snickering made him look up.

"Seems like she just adopted you, Doctor," the Master remarked snarky, but with a croaky voice, as he pulled himself up from the ground. He swayed visibly, but cutting the bond seemed to have gotten him out of the nightmare or whatever this alien was doing to them.

The Doctor sat on the floor and held Roka in his arms, trying to reach her mind and dispel the entity. But his skills weren't developed enough. Not surprising actually, when even the Master couldn't fight it. But he couldn't just do nothing. Enough of his companions had gotten lost because he hadn't been able to help...

"Are you okay again?" he asked the Master.

The other Time Lord stretched himself and cracked his neck. Then he looked at his hands... for a very long time, before he slowly sat down again, a look on his face as if his entire world had just broken down around him. A few moments later he violently shook his head.

"Yeah... I think so." His gaze wandered to Roka. "But it still is inside _her_ mind."

"Weeell..." the Doctor pondered. "Maybe she has fought it off. Humans like their fathers. It can't be such a bad dream." He tried to sound confident.

"No. This... thing... it digs into your deepest fears and pulls them out. It strangles you with your own guts, Doctor," the Master spit out hatefully. "And if you make it out of one, it simply drags you into the next. We have to get her out of here. Now!"

"I was hoping you could." He slightly started to panic. "You're far stronger than I. And I have no idea how else to get rid of that alien."

The Master glared hatefully at him, massaging his shoulder. He looked around the pond for a moment, his movements jittery and uncertain, his face contorting in pain here and there. Finally he reached down into the water and picked up something, bringing it back to the Doctor. But his hands were shaking so badly, it just fell out and onto the ground, rolling towards the other Time Lord.

"What's with you?!" the Doctor called out and watched in horror as some black substance leaked out from the Master's shoulder, crawling over his side as if it were a swarm of ants.

"Must have been part of the trap," he mumbled weekly and glared at the stuff.

The Doctor carefully lay Roka down.

"I'll get the TARDIS down here. Take care of her as long as I'm gone."

The Master snorted. "Since when do you trust me that much?"

"I..." the Doctor shifted uncomfortably. "She does. That's what matters."

"Stupid human," the Master let out, sounding almost disgusted. But his gaze was more desperate, when he looked at him again. "That was my fault. I... wanted the key. It... the schism. It was all there... I haven't even thought about the bond anymore..." Shakily he came closer and glared at the Doctor. "Bring her back, get this thing out of her... and then let me go!" he demanded, clenching his teeth from obvious pain. "I'll stay away from your _precious_ , useless earth."

"What about..."

"She stays with you!" the Master blurted out, then he clutched his head with both hands and ruffled his hair. "Always... I always, always hurt her. If she stays with me... No..." He shook his head, looking desperately at the Doctor as if he had an answer to this.

But he had no idea what to say or to do. And he couldn't remember ever having seen the Master shaken like that. Not to mention that this crawling swarm of blackness seemed to gnaw on his energy and maybe on more than only that.

The Master's eyes suddenly started to flicker as if the entity would get a hold of him again. He shook his head as if to get rid of it. "No... no, no, no!" He crouched down, clutching his head again. "Not that too. Uh..." He let out a short, desperate scream and lowered his head, buried it under his arms. "Why don't you... Doctor... the drums... they are so loud," he whimpered in pain, fell to the side and curled himself up, while never letting go of his head.

The Doctor cursed. Whatever it was with those drums, imagined or not, he wasn't acting right now, that was for sure. So he changed his plans and heaved Roka onto his back.

"I won't take long. Hang on," he pleaded and made his way up.

* * *

Once more Roka opened her eyes, fearful of what might await her. Each time it seemed as if things would get better, and then they had started to fall apart shortly after. Only to present her with a tiny slice of new hope... and shatter it in front of her eyes again.

But as she slowly returned to the waking world, it dawned on her that all those past events had been mere dreams, a loop of nightmares, impossible to escape. Was she really awake now, or was this just a new method to torture her mind? For a while she didn't move and just stared at the spot in front of her. It was simple linen, like the back of a sofa. It also felt as if she was lying on one.

It even was rather comfy and all she wanted to do was to curl herself up and sleep, forget about all those dreams. And get rid of this weird empty feeling in her chest. As if something was missing there.

Finally she pulled herself together and turned around. This was new... the room wasn't familiar. It was a small study, filled with book shelves and this sofa. There also was a fireplace with an actual fire in it, which's sound crackled soothingly through the room. On the other side was a big writing table with a comfy chair in it. And in there... a few strands of brown hair poked out from the back, but she couldn't make out more.

Another dream, she realized. The entity had fun torturing her with nightmares of her family. But now she finally was aware that all of this wasn't real. Maybe that would help.

"I know you're not my father," she mumbled towards the figure. "You can't trick me. Not again."

The person shifted, then turned around and Roka saw her error.

"No... I never claimed to be," the Doctor answered witty and winked, then rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Although it seems I remind you of him somehow."

"Uhm... sorry... didn't mean to..." Roka shook her head. Was she awake after all? She smiled vaguely. "But yeah, actually you do. Especially that regeneration."

The Doctor came over to her and put his thumbs at her temples, listening for a bit, before he nodded satisfied. "No traces left. Seems you're completely free from its influence now." He sat on the arm rest next to her. "I destroyed the key to the schism. You know, that small sphere. That seemed to do the trick."

Carefully Roka sat up, her head still a bit dizzy. Her hand instinctively wandered to the ear stud to tap it. She had roughly another half an hour left. A deep sigh escaped her as she sank together against the back rest.

"How's the Master?" she asked. "Could I break the link?"

"Yes, you could... but..." the Doctor kneaded his hands, then hastily smiled when he saw her worried face. "Weeell... nothing too bad, I think. Had to shock him a bit when I came back with the TARDIS. He... err... literally jumped at me. Didn't seem quite right in his mind..."

"The drums?" Roka asked quietly, getting her answer from the Doctor's startled face.

"Yeah, seems so... how do you know?"

She told him what she knew about those phases. About what happened when they got so bad that he lost control. And how she herself had felt the effect. This time he probably had been too weakened to fight them any longer. The more she spoke the more horror grew in the Doctor's eyes as he slowly realized that he had been wrong all those centuries. That he had left his friend alone for the wrong reason.

"I'm... so, so sorry," he brought out eventually.

"It's not me you should apologize to," Roka mumbled back. She looked at him and it was like a déjà vu when she asked, "Can't you... let him go?"

The Doctor looked down and his eyes were filled with grief and sorrow. Slowly he shook his head.

"Not when something like that can happen at any time." He held his hand up, when Roka wanted to protest. "But I'll take this a lot more serious now. Hallucination or not... for him it's real. So I will see what I can find out and maybe help getting rid of the drums."

Relieved she let out a sigh. He surely could help. If not him, who else?

"You really love him, don't you?" he suddenly said and Roka shot straight while staring at him a bit dumbfounded. His hand rubbed his neck. "I know... I know... none of my busyness and I'm really not an expert on things..." He smiled slightly.

Roka sighed and stared up to the ceiling. "I... can't really answer that." She let a hand rush over her face, looked down and smiled back. "No, you're really not an expert." She shook her head. "Isn't it only... natural to be drawn to the only one who doesn't forget me? No matter what a horrible person he might be... And even if I would... wouldn't that make me a bad person too?"

For a while the Doctor seemed to think about that, nodding a food up and down and occasionally raising one or both eyebrows. Then he smiled and shook his head.

"No, it would rather make you a _good_ person." He grinned happily at her. "Because it would mean that you can find something good in even the seemingly worst people."

She stared at him, again dumbfounded. That truly was a whole new way of seeing things.

"And for the other thing... I'm rather sure it needs a bit more than just _one_ reason. Maybe that was what kick started it... but... mhmm..." He shrugged. "Don't listen to me. I'm horrible at that subject."

"Oh yes, you are," Roka giggled.

But his words made her think. Could he be right? Did it even matter? Suddenly she felt incredibly tired and exhausted. Her body ached for some proper sleep after all that excitement, and her chest was heavy with this weird feeling of being... more alone than she had ever been before.

Once more she tapped the ear stud.

"You won't forget me for another... fifteen minutes or so... Doctor?"

"Mhm?"

"You surely have a nice story to tell, right? A short one." She huddled herself back onto the sofa and closed her eyes.

"You can bet on that!" He grinned widely, his mind already eagerly digging one out.

"One that's not entirely about you?" she teased.

"Oh, sure. There has to be one. I _might_ make a short appearance in it though."

"Short enough to fill the whole story?"

The Doctor chuckled and started to talk.

 


	41. A severed bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There isn't that horribly much plot going on from the second half on... also, this chapter is rated M... for reasons. You have been warned. ;D

 

As much as she was exhausted, Roka couldn't stay asleep for long. Even now she was plagued by nightmares, by all those cruel images and ideas the ancient alien had brought up. Icy chills went through her mind and body, despite the crackling fire, and that feeling of utter loneliness from the dream just wouldn't leave her, made her insides twist and her eyes burn. It was as if she had lost something, something important. Although everyone was back safe and all right.

Not even the warm atmosphere of the study dispelled those feelings. So eventually she got up, threw a last glance at the Doctor, who sat in his comfy chair, reading, and went to get the only thing that would help... coffee.

After downing two cups the tiredness had eased a bit and she finally brought herself to enter the library, although her steps were slow as she wandered along the shelves. For some unknown reason it felt awkward, as if she shouldn't be here... as if she had lost every right and reason to come inside. Maybe because, in the end, all of this had been her fault. But maybe it also wasn't so bad. Now the Doctor would help, or at least try to.

"Let me guess... the key is destroyed," said the Master from behind her.

Roka spun around with a small yelp. "Gosh, stop sneaking." She held a hand to her pounding heart and peeked up to him, but hastily turned her head away shortly after. "It... was the only way to get rid of the alien," she mumbled. "I'm... sorry."

"For what?" He was leaning with folded arms against a shelf, but didn't look at her.

"Because that's my fault..." She glared at her shoes. "If I hadn't been so persistent on coming along... the key would still be intact... and that thing wouldn't have attacked you through me."

An amused laugh finally made her look up. His eyes showed some of the same exhaustion she felt, but other than that they were only filled with glee. Then he ruffled through her hair before pulling her into a hug. The warmth emanating from him and being held so tight slightly eased the weird, lonely feeling, but not completely.

"I'll only be mad at you, if you turn out to be another nightmare," the Master murmured into her ear. "What a nasty way to punish thieves... I should keep that in mind. Could be fun."

His words made her wonder what he might have seen, but she didn't want to ask something so privately. Not that she expected him to tell her anyway.

"I want to leave," she mumbled, suddenly feeling an unexplainable restlessness. If only they could just go. If only she could continue running away. With him. Like they had done before. It had been such a great time. So different from that current, dragging state of endless waiting.

"Yah, me too. If I don't find a way out soon, I'll really burn down the library..."

"Don't you dare!" Roka glanced up, but he didn't look _too_ serious.

Then her eyes fell onto something else. Right at the shoulder his jacket had a small hole that was slightly burned on the edges, and a fine black dust covered some of the cloth.

"Are you hurt?" She stretched to take a closer look. "Whoa! What the...?" It wasn't only the jacket, there also was a wound on his shoulder. Small and round, but already about to heal. And she remembered having felt a short pain at that spot, shortly before the entity had taken over.

"Oh, right... totally forgot." The Master, somewhat absently, looked down and put a finger into the hole in the cloth, frowning at it. "There was a trap on that thing. Shot me with a bullet of some kind, but the content stopped whatever it was doing a while back. Probably some kind of nano-bots. I guess it was linked to the key." With that he swiped some of the black dust away.

"Then we have to get it out!" Roka exclaimed.

But the Master only laughed at her appalled face. "Superior biology, remember? Or should I say... I'm too awesome to be killed by some outdated tech."

Roka grunted annoyed and dropped her head against him in relief. It was so him to make fun of that. And she couldn't help but smile.

"Still..." She glared up. "Let's get that thing out. Superior or not, keeping it there can't be healthy. I'll get the Doctor."

"Eeew, don't you dare!" the Master protested, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "It's a dumb spot to operate on myself, but nothing I wouldn't manage."

Roka sighed deeply. "Let me help at least. Wait a moment. I'll get some tweezers and a first aid kit."

The library had plenty of those and she had wondered oftentimes what in the universe the Doctor had gotten up to in here to make the TARDIS put them everywhere. Although she had a hunch. Or rather... several of those, since, thanks to the Doctor's recklessness, she was somewhat used to tend to wounds by now.

She took one of the kits nearby and then boldly grabbed the Master's arm to drag him under one of the lights, ignoring his whining about how she would just make it worse.

"I have a déjà vu. And if I remember correctly... last time it ended well," she reminded him, thinking back to his childish behavior when she had bandaged his hand. How long ago was that? It felt like an eternity.

He slumped down to the ground below the lamp, back leaned against a shelf, his face still a mix of complaint and unwillingness. So Roka simply put the first aid kit into his hands and smiled. "Okay, if you insist. Suit yourself."

She sat down next to him, took one of the books from behind and started to flip through its pages, while throwing some amused glances sideways here and there. For a few seconds the Master just stared at the kit in his hands, before he lay it down and shrugged off his jacket to give his perforated shirt a mean look. An annoyed grumble later he halfway buttoned it up, carefully took out his arm and unfolded the first aid kit.

Roka waited way longer than necessary to react. It really was a bad spot for self tending. She had seen that immediately, but if he decided to make a fuss... not her problem. Finally though, she closed the book - it wasn't interesting anyway - and threw an impish glance over. Since he couldn't see what he was doing, it obviously hurt. And he didn't seem to catch the small bullet. Some blood was leaking from the wound too.

"Even I could get that out myself," she teased and plainly continued to watch. "You're hurting yourself a lot more than anything else..."

The Master let out an irritated sound and threw the bloody tweezers at her. "Then stop sitting around and make yourself useful. I bet you'll just faint."

Roka giggled, picked up the tweezers and got out some tissues from the kit. "Not anymore." Then she leaned over. "Hm... that's really a dumb spot... can't see much..." She shifted around on her knees a bit to see properly and find a good angle. Finally she sighed and gave him a mean look. "Don't dare to say a word," she warned, before promptly straddling his stretched out legs.

"Not even one?" The mischievous smile on his face could barely be wider.

"And behave," she warned with a slightly amused glint. "Or I'll make this hurt a lot more than it has to."

She leaned closer, now finally able to see properly and with a swift move got out the tiny bullet. The Master hissed sharply from the pain, but Roka ignored it and instead squinted her eyes at the slightly blood covered object on the tissue. It was purple and looked more like a small marble than an actual bullet.

The second surprise came to her attention as she realized that she now had nothing to threaten the Master with anymore... and that he nonetheless did nothing. Slowly she raised her head and saw him staring at her, not mischievously anymore, but more... lost.

"Are you... alright?" she asked carefully. That was odd. "Did I hurt you?"

A small hint of anger crossed his eyes, but Roka had no idea why. Then he grabbed her shirt and pulled her towards him. Not completely though, just enough to angrily stare into her perplex face.

"Have you any idea," his voice was barely louder than a whisper, "how it feels when such a mental connection gets broken like that?"

Roka slightly shook her head.

"You probably feel it too. It's as if someone has ripped a piece out of you."

Something clicked into place. This weird feeling of having lost something, of almost painful loneliness. Her eyes widened in shock as she mumbled, "I... thought it was an after effect from the nightmares." Carefully she glanced up. "I... I had to... I'm sorry."

The Master's grip loosened and he let go of her, sighed tiredly with closed eyes. "I know."

Not sure what else to do, Roka crumbled the tissue together and put it aside, before she got out a big enough patch from the kit and put it onto the still slightly bleeding wound; carefully stroking her thumb over it afterwards. A tear in flesh would heal eventually, but a wound in one's mind? Now that she knew about it, the feeling was even stronger, almost painful, and she had to close her eyes for a moment to endure it.

With a careful move the Master shrugged his shirt back on. "What did it let you dream?" he asked suddenly and more like a thought than an actual question.

The images came shooting back at her at once, painful like needles raining down on her, as if they were seeking out revenge for having been chased away earlier. Roka swallowed down the forming lump and looked to the side. "You've been inside my head often enough," she mumbled a bit irritated. "Think for yourself."

She wanted to get up again, but the Master suddenly cupped her face with both hands and leaned his forehead against hers. "Don't go away," he said softly, and his almost desperate tone startled her.

"Alright," she breathed. His eyes were such bottomless depths and being so close was like staring into the emptiness of space itself. A beautiful, relentless force... and an unheard cry of loneliness, amplified a thousand times through their severed bond. Roka lowered her own eyes. "Was... I in one of those nightmares?" she asked carefully.

The Master slowly shook his head. "No... that's what made them so bad."

Carefully he drew her closer, his lips lightly brushing against hers, not more, as if he feared she could still be nothing but an image of his mind. His eyes were begging for something she didn't understand, or maybe simply for her to be real. But she knew all of this must have shaken him right to the core to allow himself to be so vulnerable in front of her. Roka didn't wait for him to move and closed the distance, lightly, slowly, just relishing his presence until he slid a hand into her neck and deepened the kiss, without getting more fierce.

A weird sensation ran through her, a feeling as if she had never been closer to him and at the same time never so far away. And it dawned on her that she had broken much more than a mere mental connection. For a short while they had been like one entity, even though he had mostly shielded himself from her. It was as if, for the first time in her life, she truly knew what it meant to be alone inside her own mind. And it was almost unbearable.

His hand slid from her neck, gingerly skimming slowly along her jaw, leaving a tingling on her skin, before he lowered his head to trace up the same way, but with light kisses that sent goose bumps up her arms.

"I won't give you back," he whispered against her ear and made her shiver as he brushed his lips down from there in an agonizing line of tender kisses to her collar bone. "I want you all for myself." His voice was soft and lulled her into a trance. She closed her eyes, relishing the sensation. Another feather light kiss to her throat. "Your skin, your lips." He shortly captured those. "Your mind, your _soul_."

Roka's lids fluttered open and she let out a deep breath, before she smiled. "You ask for a lot."

One of his hands moved to her back, tracing down her spine through the cloth of her shirt. "I am the Master," he said in a whisper and leaned closer to her. "I never _ask_ for anything." He held her tight with one arm, keeping her from moving away, while he moved his head along her neck, without actually touching her, but so close that his breath on her skin gave her goose bumps all over. "Give it to me. All of you."

It made her breath get heavier and hitch and she drew him up to her to kiss him again. Otherwise there was just too much space between them. And she wanted him close now, getting more passionate, while she felt a light tug on her shirt as he started to open button by button, slow and careful, as if to lay significance into every movement.

For a brief second she instinctively wanted to struggle against it. But why should she? His hands slid underneath the cloth, his nimble fingers softly caressing her skin wherever they could reach until she had to break free from the kiss to get some additional air.

"Glitch, huh?" he muttered against her lips, breaking her out of the trance, then letting her gasp surprised as he lightly sucked at her collarbone. And when he looked up, there was a slight roguish glint in his eyes, unable to completely banish the burning desire out of them.

But a moment later those expressions vanished from his face completely and he retreated from her.

"Probably shouldn't do that." He carefully stroked her cheek. "That's a bit more than just stealing a first kiss. And you humans make such a fuss about these things."

Roka was way too perplex to react and even more unsure if she really wanted him to stop. Actually... she really _didn't_. So her only answer was to close the gap for another kiss. He responded almost desperately, before he slightly pushed her away after a moment, holding her shoulders and lowering his head.

"Don't go away," he said, almost whispering, and his voice was slightly trembling.

"W... wasn't planning to."

When he looked back up, Roka's heart clenched hurtfully. There was so much pain and loneliness in his eyes. He was so good at hiding it behind a veil of mischief and coldness, but whatever usually enabled him to keep this up, it seemed to have broken down now.

"Don't dare to. Ever," he almost begged and leaned his forehead against hers. "You're mine, and mine alone."

"Idiot," Roka mumbled, making him look up. She gave him a small, warm smile. "You could ask at least _once_."

He opened his mouth and closed it again, without saying anything, before he looked away. "That would give you the chance to say no."

"Why would I do that?" She moved her head slightly to catch his eyes and smiled even more. "Because you keep hurting me?"

His head snapped up, confirming the guess, and now his eyes were also filled with a hint of fear. How long had he suppressed all of that? How did it not crush him? Roka was amazed and sad at the same time. Without thinking she lightly trailed her fingers over his shirt, down his chest, feeling the muscles underneath. Such a fragile mind in such a strong body. He seemed to relax a little and she leaned closer to almost whisper, "Being away from you hurts so much more."

For a few moments he only observed her face, as if to see if there was any sign of deception in it. Then he leaned towards her, slightly against her, his eyes dark and demanding. "Then stay and never leave," he breathed against her lips, followed by a soft kiss. "Be mine." Each word sent shivers through her body.

That had been more a command than a question, but it probably was as close as she could ever expect it to get.

"I'm all yours," she muttered. "Always. Completely."

She couldn't keep herself from opening his half unbuttoned shirt, to feel every inch of him under her fingers, while their kiss got more fierce, more passionate, drowning out the world around. They wouldn't need it. There was only the two of them right now. The Master carefully grabbed her thighs and pulled her closer to him, sending a small wave of heat through her body at being so close.

Slowly his hand snaked to her back and, with a proficient motion, clicked open her bra, then tugging at her shirt to peel her out of it. The bra followed swiftly. His fingers wandering all over her skin, her breasts, caressing every inch of her, before trailing down her chest, her belly, down to the waistband of her jeans, stroking along it. Roka twisted under the move and gave off a slight groan. Feeling him below her, his hands on her skin, his lips on hers... It was just too much to bare. Her whole body was aching for him.

"Sure you want this?" he breathed against her, while his finger drew a path along her inner thigh.

"You know what..." she murmured back, again shivering under his touch. "Forget about asking. What I want - need - right now is _you_ , Master."

His eyes were dark with passion and desire now, kindled even more as she used his name. But way deeper she saw a lot more. A wound, ripped open. A connection, torn apart. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he raised his hands to her head and placed his fingers at her temples. It wasn't the same feeling as the last time, there was no new connection. Just a hint of his presence inside her mind.

"Only temporary." He smiled at her questioning look. "To ease this pain a little." His eyes looked away for a moment and a slightly mischievous glint appeared inside them as he peeked back. "And for some pleasant... _side effects_."

He captured her lips again, but now it was as if her senses were amplified slightly, her mind a tiny little bit clearer than it should be. Heat shot through her, more intense than before, if that was even possible. She felt his cool skin against hers, his hearts beating fast, felt a finger skimming over the mark on her chest, tracing the long healed cuts.

"You have no idea what I could do to you... with my mind alone," he murmured darkly, obviously enjoying her reaction.

"I'd rather you stop your _mind_ tricks." Her hands reached for his belt, eagerly trying to unbuckle it.

"A shame." He chuckled, then suddenly stood and in the same movement scooped Roka up his arms, eliciting a small surprised squeak from her. Only to let her down again a few steps later. With a smug grin and a light tap against her chest he made her stumble back a bit, and she  slumped inside one of the reading alcoves.

She hadn't noticed that there was one of these, but before any other thought could form, the Master kneeled above her, gently pushing her onto her back, while his other hand got rid of her jeans faster than she could think.

A grin whizzed over his face. "Of course you'd wear shorts."

"Hey, they are comfy." Roka chuckled and pulled at the loosely hanging down sides of his shirt to get him closer.

He didn't budge though and one swift movement later her shorts also were gone and he let a hungry gaze wander over her body. "A woman after all. Still had my doubts."

"Disappointed?" Roka stuck out her tongue and tried to reach for his belt again.

"Not at all," he muttered.

She didn't hesitate to continue where she had stopped, and as soon as belt and zipper were opened, he kicked off his pants himself, but caught her hands with a grin.

"You can play with _me_ another time," he murmured darkly, caressing her fingertips with his lips. "I saw what you do with those hands... and this body is still new..." Swiftly he stifled her giggle and grinned down at her. "Not funny. I have _some_ dignity."

Any mocking remark vanished from her mind at once when he let go of her hands, only to draw a slow line of kisses down her chest, his hands wandering over her as if he wanted to draw a mental map of her body.

"Are you torturing me?" she let out, an involuntary groan escaping her as he nudged her mind in a way that made her shiver.

"Just a bit." He suddenly loomed over her and put his forehead against her. "I like how you react to me." His fingers slid down her neck and he joined with his mouth, here and there biting tenderly into her skin, making her breath hitch. "You could of course beg for more."

Roka grunted and rolled her eyes. "Master..."

Somehow he managed to blink innocently at her, then a grin formed on his lips. "Say it again."

But at the same time he didn't even let her breathe for a while, until she got bold and bit down on his lip, breathing his name once more as she got the opportunity. Only then did he push a knee between her legs to settle down between them. Once again Roka grabbed the sites of his shirt, dragged him closer and urged him with her eyes for more.

She didn't need to beg this time. His own desire finally seemed to take over as he took a hand between them to guide himself inside her. Roka moaned into his mouth and could barely stand how he held still, letting her adjust and just savoring the moment. Almost on their own her legs wrapped around him, urged him to move.

He was careful and also not, toned down his inhuman strength just enough not to hurt her, nipped at her skin, caressed her mind, let her race towards the edge in no time, and still managed to balance her there for another moment, before he allowed her to fall over. She tore him down with her only shortly after, her ears still ringing with the sound of her own racing pulse.

Both caught their breath for a long moment, there was a last tender mental nudge and the Master retreated from her mind and rolled to the side, laying close next to her. Roka turned her head to him, her breath still heavy. His eyes were closed and just for a moment he looked so peaceful and calm that she thought it was an illusion. Maybe it was. A small smile played on his lips a moment later.

"Regrets?" His eyes opened slightly. For once there was no mischief in them.

"Well," Roka mumbled nonchalantly, rolled to the side and snuggled against him, then grinned. "Now I'm looking forward to getting attacked by aliens again."

The Master chuckled and brushed some hair out of her face. "No need to wait that long."

"So you can tell me, what an annoying human I am?" Roka smiled and tried not to fall asleep right here and then.

Absently he let a finger draw some circles on her shoulder, carefully wandering down to her waist, were he rested his hand and turned a bit closer. "Might do that... And play more mind tricks on you. Wasn't sure what that would do," he admitted. "Never tried it before." As Roka glanced questioningly at him, he shrugged. "People always get scared of these things. But you don't." A smile curved his lips. "You're never scared of me. And that although you should run."

Roka only chuckled. "Not running anywhere anytime soon."


	42. Small changes

After this adventure the Doctor changed his mind about the Master. Maybe not completely, but enough to at least let him have a bit more freedom. The first thing he did, was letting him have another room.

This lead to Roka wandering through the corridors with the Master for hours, simply because he was so picky.

"It's not as if we will stay forever," she giggled, when he wrinkled his nose, peeking inside another door.

"When I have to stay here for even one more second, I can at least have the best room of all." He opened the next door, which lead to a small patch of forest. A moonlit pond was there and around it flew some tiny lights. Almost like fairies. "Look," he nodded inside.

"Oh, that's cool! Are those...?" She got torn back with a chuckle. "Och, come on. Let me at least take some pictures!" she whined.

It reminded her of the time, so long ago, she had been allowed to pick a room for herself. There were so many strange and wonderful things inside the TARDIS, so even as she had chosen one, she had still wandered around for hours, looking inside every door to unveil their countless secrets.

"How does that even fit inside here?" she wondered, as they left the crumbling sandstone ruins of a gigantic temple, inside a patch of desert.

"Far beyond your brain capacity," the Master teased and chuckled when Roka nudged him.

There was one room that reminded her of an ordinary earthen garage. Full with car parts and all sorts of gadgets and tools to tinker with vehicles. Even an old-schoolish looking radio blared some ancient songs tinny into the room.

Another one was an actual cave with a bonfire burning at its entrance. The view outside was that of thick purple trees and tall yellow grass. Roka wondered if this really was only a room, or if there might also be actual people or animals in here somewhere.

One room looked as if it was made for a toddler. Noisy and colourful toys lay strewn around. There also was a bed that looked like a sports car, painted in flashy colours. For some unknown reason the Master's eyes were fixated on a Teletubby plush for quite a while, before he wordlessly left.

"But that one looked perfect for you," Roka mocked and quickly ran ahead a few steps, as he wanted to grab her.

Another door lead to a whole one-storey house, complete with a front yard and even a swing on a tree branch. She sat on the bench on the porch, folded her hands behind her head and looked over the forest that surrounded them.

"What a peaceful place," she mumbled smiling.

"Yeah... It is." The Master leaned at the wood next to her and also took a long look around. "Absolutely... boring."

There were rooms as big as mansions, filled with shelves full of blank paged books, others stuffed to the top with broken vases, and one that resembled a wide ball room, illuminated by millions of candles and only a solitude piano in its centre. The Master sat down on the stool and started to play some random tones, then decided otherwise and coaxed a woeful melody from the instrument, ancient and wistful, making Roka's heart ache. For a moment it seemed as if the room was fading, the candles flickered, their light dwindled, as the tones drowned out time itself.

Then suddenly it stopped and everything turned back to normal. With a sad smile the Master stroked a finger over the black wood and they left.

"Was that something from Gallifrey?" Roka couldn't resist to ask.

"Mhm... it's an old ballad. About a bird who gets trapped in a time cage, not able to age and forced to see everything around it wither... A Time Lord finds it after aeons and promises to release the poor creature in exchange for all its stories."

"What a sad tale."

"It's said to be true." He shrugged and poked his nose through another door, immediately slamming it shut again with a disgusted, "Nope!"

Roka had to firmly pull the Master out of a room full with medieval weapons, ignoring his protests, while she dragged a heavy two hander, she could barely get from the ground, back inside. His sulking only got interrupted when, a few doors later, they got greeted by a small red cat. The small room looked like the study of an ordinary teenager.

"Master..."

"Mhm?"

"Put the cat back. I don't think it's wise to abduct it."

"But it's fluffy!" he protested with pursed lips, tickling the cat behind its ears. It purred content and actually made the impression of feeling quite well there.

"You just want to experiment on it!"

"Nooo! I would never! Why do you think so mean things of me?" he whined.

Roka crossed her arms and gave him an eye roll. "Does this really need explaining?"

The Master pouted and reluctantly sat the cat down, which immediately ran back inside and hid under the bed to do whatever cats do when no one is around to watch them.

One of the next rooms was filled to the brim with deliciously smelling pastries of all shapes and colours, and Roka had to use all of her strength to get the Master out of there again. Eventually he showed some mercy and let her push him out, not without nicking some handful of cupcakes and cookies on the way though.

"Can Time Lords get diabetes?" Roka wondered sarcastically and snatched a cupcake away.

"Mo ivea," he replied indistinctly with a full mouth.

"Would be a shame to lose a whole regeneration to something like that," she went on with a mean grin.

The Master suddenly threw a concerned look at the remaining cookies, before he let them flop inside Roka's hood. Giggling she grabbed two out from behind her, then emptied the rest onto the floor, trusting the TARDIS to take care of them somehow.

A few rooms later it was the Master who had to drag a struggling Roka outside, as she found it to be filled with merchandise for videogames from different planets. He carefully took a miniature of Solair of Astora out of her hands, snatched a clunky replica of a Pip-Boy 3000 from her pockets, and when she proceeded to wear the Dragonborn's helmet, he simply grabbed her around the waist, heaved her off the ground and marched outside.

"You could at least let me have the miniature," she sulked and poked his shoulder at the wounded spot. It had already almost healed the next day though and he only laughed. Roka craned her neck at the vanishing door and sighed. "Set me down, I won't run back in, promise... probably."

Not that she disliked him holding her so tight. The rift in their minds still bled, and Roka put her head against him when he sat her down, but without letting her go. It helped to be close, and she knew the pain wouldn't last forever. The Master had quickly returned to his old self, even though it seemed as if he now was a tiny little bit gentler with her. Whether or not this was an effect of the ripped bond would show itself eventually. But nonetheless, Roka knew she belonged to him now. He wouldn't let her go anymore. And the thought was like a small flame in her chest, warm and soothing.

"It's really time to escape... I want to set something on fire," he eventually said. "Or at least have a nice little explosion somewhere."

Roka chuckled and looked up, meeting a mischievous grin on his face. But she also saw the slight flickering in his eyes. It was there a lot more often now, and she wondered if it was the boredom or if the drums had gotten worse in general. He hadn't said anything regarding it, but secretive as he usually was, that didn't mean much.

"How about abducting a pulsar?" she suggested and saw his face lighting up.

"That's a brilliant idea! We'll totally do that! And park it right in front of..."

"...not earth."

"One solar system away from it maybe?"

"No!" She nudged him.

He chuckled, ruffled her hair and turned around to continue his search for the perfect room. There was another, smaller, library, but only filled with the same three books from the Prhofronic author Zweshka, who wrote the only scientific works of his species. It was a overly detailed description of how every single bug on their planet tasted.

"Well, that was... insightful." The Master closed the book and put it back.

"Really?" Roka gave him a sceptical glance.

"Certainly. If ever get there, I'll make sure to take tons of bug spray with me... and a lighter." He shuddered dramatically and they left the room.

The next one looked like some quarters straight out of a sci-fi TV show, or videogame. Roka could at least think of a handful of those that would support a design like that. It was astonishingly ordinary looking, with lots of grey and black metal and almost sterile in appearance. A few shelves hung on the walls, filled with tiny miniatures of solar systems, nebulas, star ship models and other exotic things. There also was a bed under a slope. But the highlight clearly were the two large windows, framed in black metal. Outside was the darkness of space and countless stars gleaming brightly in the distance.

The Master glared outside for a bit, while Roka took a closer look at some of the miniatures. A few of them were only as big as her thumbnail.

"A bit simple this room," she mused. "Reminds me somehow of the quarters they had in Star Trek."

"It's perfect!" the Master decided with a wide grin.

Roka tilted her head. "And I thought you were looking for something more... pompous."

"Huh... what for? You know I don't sleep that much." He turned towards the bed and eyed it sceptically. "Speaking of it..." Swiftly he took his shoes of, tossed them aside and stepped onto the mattress. "This is too small!"

"Jumping around on it won't make it bigger," Roka giggled.

"It's _mine_ , and I can jump on it all I want!" With a grin he hopped down again. "Oi, old lady. Make it biiiig!" He spread his arms and the bed suddenly grew double as wide as before. Obviously though the TARDIS couldn't resist teasing the Master a bit and let it grow so fast that it promptly swiped him off his feet, making him curse nastily. "Ow! Stupid piece of junk! I've been nice to you the whole time!"

"That could be argued with..." Roka objected, having to bite her fist to stifle another giggle.

With an annoyed grumble the Master got up, but eyed the bed satisfied. Then he tilted his head an pondered for a moment, before he picked up a pillow and waved Roka over. "I need to test something. Stand right there." He placed her directly in front of the bed. "Aaand, close your eyes."

"Certainly not!" she protested with a grin.

"Tz... I thought you trusted me." He pursed his lips and took some steps backwards, until he was out of her reach.

Roka folded her arms in front of her chest and grumbled, "Not with just anything. And especially not when you're obviously..."

"Ohh! A space whale!"

"What?!" Her head snapped towards the windows, but there wasn't anything to see.

Then something soft bumped against her head, and with enough force to throw her backwards, right onto the bed.

An all too happy giggle followed, while she sat up, still a bit disoriented, elbows sinking into the mattress. Dizzily she shook her head and, instead of being angry at that, she only laughed at this childish act and grabbed the pillow with both hands from behind her with the intention to throw it right back.

"Now I'm scared," the Master mocked, was in front of her with a few quick steps and bent down to a bit. "I'm so much faster than you. You'd never manage to hit me."

"Is that a challenge?" She poked out her tongue, and when he leaned closer down she held up the pillow between them like a shield and giggled.

The Master simply pushed it down, revealing his roguish grin, before he stretched farther to breathe a small kiss onto her lips. "I wonder if you will ever stop blushing when I do this," he taunted and leaned in for another, longer one, while slowly pushing Roka backwards onto the covers.

She smiled against his lips as his weight pleasantly pressured onto her, only separated by the pillow. With every second the kiss lasted, the urge to remove the pillow grew stronger, but he never gave her the opportunity.

"Ah, great, you found one!" came the Doctor's cheery voice suddenly from the door. "The TARDIS moved the room near to the entrance, so I thought I could take a peek and..."

"Doctor..." The Master shot up, stood and turned around with a sour look. "I give you exactly ten seconds to get out of here. And stay out for at least... How about forever?"

"Hey, I was just curious. Oh! Are those...?"

"...nine..."

"Come on, that's childish!"

"...eight..."

"What do you even want to do? There is nothing dangerous in here..."

"...four..."

"Oi, you're cheating!"

Roka hauled herself from the bed with a chuckle, stepped next to the Master and handed him the pillow with an impish nod towards the Doctor. His eyes lit up and before the other Time Lord could react, the Master already threw and sent the Doctor with a short squeak onto his bum. A gleeful laugh filled the room afterwards, while the Doctor groaned and pulled himself up again.

"Ooooh, that wasn't nice! I should have left you in the library!" he whined and rubbed his bum.

"Yah... throwing books at you would actually be a lot more fun. _And_ hurt more."

The Doctor shifted around at the entrance, before he seemed to decide on one of the probably hundreds of thoughts that were shooting through his head.

"I thought we could go and have diner on Hokurobo V," he suggested, beaming all over his face. "They have those fantastic steaks and you can eat as much as you want."

"Are you trying to bait me with food?" The Master gave him an annoyed look.

"Always works," Roka mumbled in the background, poking her tongue out at him.

"Hey, that's not true!"

"It is," she giggled. "And after all this walking around, I'm totally in for some steaks."

"Yes, might actually be a good idea..."

The Doctor still stood in the door, scratching his head now, as if he was thinking about, why the other man suddenly talked to himself. So the Master grabbed and pushed Roka in front of him, pointing a finger down at her, until the Doctor's eyes lit up. "Steaks. Now. We're in," he just said.

* * *

The second change was, that the Doctor allowed the Master to roam around. Not completely free, but at least somewhat. And he also got access to the control room. Of course not to the controls themselves though. Would he try to touch any of them, he would get as much shocked as Roka had all those months before.

She was glad about this change. Because even though the Master complained about being treated like a dog on a leash, he noticeably was less stressed without all the boredom from before. And for the next few days the Doctor took him along here and there. Not very often, and when he did, they mostly visited places with not too many people, and nothing around that could be too easily destroyed.

The Master played his role with an astonishing calmness now and behaved. Mostly. He knew exactly that all they needed, was for the Doctor to gain enough trust to remove the bracelets. Without those they could get away in an instant.

To compensate this, he spent enough time whining and moaning about how he would love to strangle the Doctor and how much he hated being dragged around like that. Only when no one but Roka was there to hear it, of course.

"I think, he is about to crack," she comforted him, even though she had no idea if it was true or not.

"It's only been four days!" he whined. "How am I supposed to survive this!?"

Right now they were on a sunny planet with wide green grass fields, sitting on a low brick wall and licking some ice cream. Roka leaned with her back at his side and enjoyed the sun. It was rather idyllic. Or gruellingly boring, depending on one's viewpoint.

"Could be worse." She smiled. "At least he doesn't try to make you help people."

She could feel the Master shudder at those words and giggled.

"But it's too quiet," he grumbled and rubbed his eyelids. "Can't stand that." He shifted a bit and Roka promptly fell backwards, only to find herself lying on his lap all of a sudden and meeting a grin from above. "That's better," he cheered and stole the remaining ice cream right out of her fingers.

"Hey, you pesky thief! Give it back!" she protested, stretching her hands out.

Roka had to watch as he quickly let the ice cream vanish, licking his lips afterwards with relish. She pulled a sulky face, then grabbed his blood red tie and drew him down to her. He stopped right above her face with a mean grin though.

"What do _you_ want, down there?" the Master mocked and cupped the side of her face with one hand. "You don't deserve a kiss. Running around so freely..."

"And staying here nonetheless..." She grinned back, and then chuckled as she felt his heartbeat speeding up all of a sudden. His look turned surprised for a moment. "What's wrong?" Roka mocked. "Don't tell me you suddenly fall for m..."

Before she could finish the sentence he stifled her with a kiss, smirking against her lips.


	43. Crescendo

The third change was, that the Doctor offered to run several tests on the Master to find out where the drums might originate from.

But just as Roka was about to be rejoiced at this, she saw the Master's face turn sour.

"And what do you think _you_ can do, what all those other doctors in all of time and space and even the Time Lords themselves couldn't, eh?"

"Weeell... uhhhh..." The Doctor rubbed his neck. "I've got the knowledge of the Time Lords _and_ the tech from all over time and space." He grinned his toothy grin from ear to ear. "You know me, I'll figure it out!"

With a grunt the Master turned around, though, and simply left the room.

* * *

By now Roka was absolutely sure that the drums had gotten worse, even though the Master still refused to even brush the subject. But with each passing day it happened more and more often that he was absent-minded, and easier irritated than usually, always given away by a slight twitching of his eyes that he could never completely hide.

Even the Doctor in his usually so unaware ways noticed something. Especially when the Master didn't react with mean remarks to what he said and simply stared into the air, as if he hadn't heard anything. Here and there he wordlessly left whatever room he was inside at the moment and vanished somewhere else where neither the Doctor nor Roka could find him for hours.

And always did he look a bit worn out afterwards. Actually, he did all the time. Some days less, but gradually more and more.

Once, as Roka was looking out for him, she actually found him in his quarters, sitting cross legged in front of the windows, head buried under his arms, not moving an inch otherwise. She had no idea if he was anywhere near responsive at the moment, or completely swiped away by the noise. At least he didn't react to her sneaking in again shortly after, and placing a plate with food and some water on the table. Roka then sat outside on the ground, back leaned against the door, and tried to occupy her worried mind with a book.

It worked astonishingly well, so when the door suddenly got opened she promptly fell backwards and glared perplex into a tired smirk.

"Told you not to be worr..."

"Shut up," Roka retorted and heaved herself up quickly, only to give him a mean stare. "I'm worried about you as much as I bloody want."

She poked a finger at him, or at least she tried to. But the Master evaded and instead let her stumble into the room, before he grabbed her collar in the neck, to prevent her from falling.

"Doesn't help," he remarked with a grin and sat her down.

"Why is it getting worse so fast?" Roka asked quietly and put her clothes back in order. "Only because of the Vortex?"

"No idea what you mean. It's the same as always." He shrugged and sauntered to the two big windows.

"I might be human, but that doesn't make me stupid, you know," she grumbled and scowled. After a while she nodded outside, where stars and nebulas hung in the vast nothingness of space. "Where is this?"

"Mhm... that's what I'm trying to find out. Doesn't look very familiar."

"Is it even a real place?" she wondered.

"No idea," he mumbled and rubbed his eyelids.

Roka leaned with folded arms next to him at the window, not able to move her thoughts away from the drums. Only when the Master stepped in front of her did she look up to meet a smirk.

"You can make such a serious face. I'm almost getting scared." He slid a finger along her face. "There's nothing you can do. Stop worrying about it."

"Easier said than done," she grumbled back.

The Master chuckled and loomed over her with a smug grin. "I thought so often that it can't get worse and that I couldn't handle more... And look, I'm still here."

That barely calmed her down. If only the Doctor would let him go. Developing some big and complicate scheme surely would help drowning the noise out. Although thinking that made her feel selfish.

But there was no helping it. The mental bond they had might have been broken, but they still were connected on so many more levels. Even though they hadn't put a name to this, and probably never would. It didn't matter anyway.

Roka winced subtly when her finger brushed over a button. She hadn't even noticed what she was doing, not... completely conscious that is. And it took her an awfully long time to decide whether or not to take her hand away from there.

Not that she would have the time for thoughts anyway, finding herself pinned against the window all of a sudden, lips pressed against her own, and she felt a deep growl reverberating through the Master's chest.

Shortly after he already let go of her, as if surprised about his own reaction. His eyes were filled with glee though and he chuckled darkly. "Careful. You're giving me... ideas."

Roka sheepishly looked away. "Won't do it again."

He snorted amused. "Why so hesitant?"

Stupid heartbeat. It was a bit hard to focus with that, and she only managed to look like an idiot for a moment. "You're... not human after all," she mumbled eventually, still looking away.

"And how exactly..." He leaned closer down to her. "...does that keep me from having fun?" He chuckled again, breathing a kiss to her neck an adding huskily, "Besides... I very much enjoyed you screaming my name."

"I... I definitely didn't scream it!" Roka protested, feeling her head adopting a similar red as his shirt.

"Oh? Mhm..." The Master looked down at her with raised eyebrows, an almost childish smile curving on his lips, before he bent down, muttering into her ear, "Mind if I change that?"

* * *

Roka decided not to be too annoying about the drums. After all, the Master knew best what he could handle and what not, having endured them his entire life.

He seemed to do his best to stay distracted. And as much as he despised the Doctor's company, he very willingly came along outside, even though he never talked much to the other Time Lord. Roka had the suspicion, those two would never get along, no matter how much time would pass. Somehow the thought made her sad. After all, they were the only two left of their entire species.

There was a huge advantage for her though. Before all of this, she had only been able to accompany the Doctor whilst she had a visibility window. Everything else was just too risky, as she had found out when she had barely made it back before the TARDIS dematerialized. After a few of those incidences she had stayed inside. Only occasionally strolled around in a small diameter around the blue box. Close enough to get back should she see the Doctor running inside, chased by whatever.

Now that the Master was with them, he took care that she wouldn't stay behind, holding the Doctor back to wait whenever it was necessary. One such time he was leaning at the outer wall of the TARDIS, eyeing the crowd and waiting until she returned from a foray of her own.

"Back again?" she asked and sped up her steps. "I'm pretty sure I'm not late this time."

"Nope... we're early. _Might_ have gotten us into a bit of trouble by rewiring a few androids," he innocently told, examining his nails. "Found something interesting?"

"Uhm... just a few books." Roka shrugged and grinned. "Certainly not stolen."

* * *

Another time they visited earth in its late third millennium. There were actual flying cars and huge buildings like Roka had seen in some sci-fi movies. And everything was littered with blinking neon signs, illuminating the night. It looked fantastic and had an almost mystical atmosphere to it.

"Is there anything at all, that doesn't fascinate you?" the Master asked with an amused grin at her happy face.

"Just look around!" She spread her arms. "All those colours and sounds and smells! It's so overwhelming! And cool! I _need_ to take some pictures!"

"Oi, don't run off!"

"What are you shouting at?" the Doctor asked.

With a grunt the Master grabbed Roka's arm before she got away and she waved happily at the other Time Lord.

"Can you widen the bracelet's radius?" she begged. "Only a little."

"I'll just come along, how about that?" the Doctor offered cheeringly as soon as he remembered her.

The Master only rolled his eyes, but Roka agreed, since she didn't mind him at all. Now she had an escort while taking photos of some alleyways and signs and people. Later the Master took her camera and went through her shots with a slight smile.

"Not bad. And there I hoped they'd be all rubbish," he teased and gave the camera back.

A moment later they passed a guy who gave out plastic flowers to everyone. To Roka's surprise the Master took a yellow one, and held it in front of the Doctor with a wide grin. "Remember?"

The Doctor let out a deep, noisy sigh. "That plan was so hilarious!"

"Och, don't be so harsh. It was fun!"

"People died through those things!"

"Yeah..." the Master drawled on. "Like I said. Fun." A wide smile sat on his face, when he saw the slightly annoyed expression of the other Time Lord.

"What's that about?" Roka asked, having a vague memory of a story knocking on her consciousness.

"Did he ever tell you about the Nestene consciousness?" the Master cheered.

"I remember it vaguely. Something about... Right! Plastic flowers that were supposed to kill everyone, who got one!"

"It was so unnecessarily complicated!" the Doctor let out. "He even exchanged my telephone cable with that stuff!"

But the Master only chuckled and then leaned down to Roka, putting the flower into one of the button holes on her shirt, before he proudly proceeded to tell the whole overly complicated plan. Only the end got left out and the Doctor sighed, but not without smiling to himself, as if this rivalry between them actually was a lot more fun than he was willing to admit.

* * *

Roka had lost track of time. But as she checked the date on her computer, she realized that they were stuck in the TARDIS for almost two months in earthen time now. And it felt so much longer than all this time she had spent travelling with the Master.

There also had been a lot less to worry about.

For a while it had seemed as if everything would turn out alright, somehow. The two Time Lords never got along too well, but also not too badly; even though the latter was mainly due to the Master executing his inhuman patience. And a way too optimistic voice in her head had started to hope they might travel together for some time longer. Or that the Doctor would finally give in and take off the bracelets.

Then, all of a sudden, things had gotten... weird.

From one day on the Master started to refuse to leave the TARDIS. He had become silent from one second to the next, staring into the air, as if he could see something no one else could. Eventually he had shaken his head and just left the console room, demanding no one were to follow him.

Hours later she had knocked on his door, assuming the drums had been especially bad for a while. But as she got no answer and also found the door to be locked, she really started to worry.

The Doctor also wasn't a big help, having no idea what to do or how to convince the other man to accept some help.

Two entire days passed, without the Master coming out or giving of any sign of existence at all. Roka had placed some packed sandwiches in front of the door, only to find them at the exact same spot on the third day.

Usually she would have found it funny that a man with his appetite had refused them, but now it filled her only with more worry. Once more she knocked on the door.

No answer.

Another day later she got annoyed and knocked again. Not very loud, but with a steady and stubborn rhythm of four knocks.

It didn't even take a minute before the door got ripped open violently.

"Will you bloody stop that!" the Master shouted with so much anger in his voice, that she instinctively stumbled back and struggled with an answer.

He was seeping so much anger that she could almost physically feel it. Quite like the moment before he had cut the mark into her. Uncontrolled and raw. His gaze wandered to her surprised eyes and turned even more angry than before.

"Daft human. Get lost," he murmured, turned around and slammed the door shut.

Finally Roka found her speech again and stepped back to the door, raising her hand to simply knock again. But she hesitated and slightly pushed her fingertips against the wood. He was there, leaning on the other side. She knew it.

"Master?" she almost whispered.

Again there was no answer, but she could hear a faint rustling of clothes, and for some reason she had a picture in her mind of him sliding down the door, sitting on the floor with his hands clutching his head. In moments like these she had a feeling as if the psychic bond might not have been ripped completely that day. Or maybe it was simply because she knew him quite well by now.

Roka sighed and sat down in almost the same position, back leaned against the door. "I'll stay here for a bit," she mumbled. "It's okay if you don't want me around, it's just..." She went silent, not knowing what she actually had wanted to say.

There was the sound of rustling clothes again, she was certain of it. Then the door got opened, only slightly, and when she peered up he was standing there, looking down with tired eyes, all anger gone from them now.

"You're right. I don't want you here," he just said toneless.

"Mind if I..."

"Yes, very." His look turned darker. "I'm tired of you. Get lost."

Slowly Roka got up and gave him a sceptic glance.

"What?" His voice sounded a bit amused and at the same time venomous. Then he put on a mocking pout for a second and suddenly grinned, while opening the door for good to step out and roughly grab her collar, almost choking her. "No idea what your primitive head spun together there, human." He narrowed his eyes on her speechless face and shook her a bit. "The Doctor was right from the beginning. Was only toying with you, naive little thing. Had a bit of fun," he went on as a sickly malevolent grin curved his lips. "And now I got bored of your face." Finally he let go and roughly pushed her away. "Get lost. And don't dare to bother me again."

Roka wasn't able to move, nor to speak. His words stung and felt like a thousand sharp knifes in her chest. The pain quickly turned to anger, deep and raw and she straightened with folded arms, staring at him.

"Well... if that's it... have fun being the Doctor's pet for the reminder of your regenerations." Sharply she turned halfway around. "I've still got the Vortex Manipulator. It's not as if I'd need _you_ for anything."

With that she simply left, stormed into the library and hid there in the darkest corner she could find. Her mind was running a million miles per hour, contemplating whether or not she should really leave. In a way she wasn't even surprised. Why should the Master, of all people in the entire universe, care more about her, than about a speck of dirt on his shoe? Naive? Yes, she definitely had been. Naive and dumb and... She clenched her teeth and took some deep breaths. Crying like an idiot wouldn't help anything here.

After she had calmed down a bit, Roka went back to her room and took the Vortex Manipulator out of her desk drawer. A manual she had found in the library sat on the table, and now she was studying it intensely. The device was a lot more complex than she had thought, and space-time coordinates also weren't easy to calculate. The manual was filled to the brim with formulas and diagrams that made her head spin. Which was exactly what she needed right now.

At the end of the day she understood more or less enough to try out the formula. Without much thinking she picked Donna's house for the space coordinates. For some reason it was the first place that sprang to her mind when thinking about earth. Then she picked a random time and started to replace symbols with numbers and calculated around, until she was certain to have gotten it right.

When the Doctor would leave the Vortex next time, she would try it out. For now her head was heavy and dizzy anyway, and all she wanted to do, was to sleep and to forget why she was doing this in the first place.

* * *

Weird dreams plagued Roka's mind, making her twist and turn. She dreamed of some of the stuff the elder god had shown her, and of other things she couldn't remember afterwards. One of those dreams changed, stopped feeling cold and instead... she could feel fingers slow and gently running through her hair, playing with them. It was soothing and she leaned in to the touch with a sigh.

"Sorry," a voice whispered, entering the fading world of her dreams.

She didn't want to wake up. It was warm here and she felt safe. The waking world though was cold and lonely, not a welcoming place at all. A frown formed on her face when she realized that she had already slipped out of sleep, but somehow also not. The hand was still there, and she could vaguely feel someone sitting next to her.

"You're quick," the voice said calmly. "Those are nasty formulas."

Roka opened her eyes and a cold sting went through her, then anger. Why was he here? Just to taunt her further? She turned away and pulled the covers over her head, not saying a word.

"Then I guess this is goodbye," the Master said, not letting it sound like a question. But his voice was still calm and quiet. "It's better that way, believe me."

"Let me sleep. Your presence is very much disturbing," she grumbled back.

He chuckled barely audible and stood up. "Good. That's... I think that's good. Hate me. Please... do that for me."

The sound of rustling clothes indicated that he was about to leave. Roka was still drowsy and also confused. His words made no sense. Slowly she turned around, watched as his hand reached out to the door handle. Then suddenly everything snapped into its right place and she shot up so fast, her head got dizzy and she had to sit back down, pressing her palm against it.

"Wait..." she mumbled. "Gosh, I'm really dumb, am I not?" Her hand lowered and she looked up, seeing the Master standing there, only illuminated by the faint glow of her souvenirs. "Has it gotten so bad?" she asked. "See, you're rubbish at hiding it, so I know something's wrong with the drums. I mean... more wrong than usual."

Hesitantly he lowered his hand from the door handle and turned around. It was impossible to clearly see his face in this faint light, but he nodded.

"Nothing I wouldn't have awaited. I just thought... it would take another few centuries. Instead of..." He shook his head. "Right now they are almost bearable. First time in days."

Roka only grumbled something indistinctly, rubbing the last bits of sleep out of her eyes.

"It's accelerating. Since a while actually," he continued calmly. "And I... this once... I'm not sure if I will be able to bare them much longer." A short pause interrupted his words. "It doesn't matter. It's not to stop." Now he stepped closer, kneeled down in front of Roka and took her hands, ignoring her perplex face. "Leave. You've got all of time and space to play with. An infinite lifespan. A goal. That's everything you'll ever need. It's all yours, just waiting for someone to come and claim it." He breathed a kiss onto her hand and smiled warmly at her.

Frowning Roka tore her hands away. "Stop talking as if you're about to die. And I'm not going anywhere!"

The Master abruptly got up again and shook his head, then laughed. "Die? No. Not long and I will stop even _thinking_ about life and death. About anything at all actually." He bent down. "The ultimate force of chaos. Told you, I'm looking forward to it."

"Yeah? Ultimate chaos wouldn't mind hurting me. Let alone trying to get me as far away from it as possible." Now Roka stood too and tried to make herself taller than she was. "Is that really what you want?"

"Having you out of my reach when I snap? Yes!" he riled back.

But Roka shook her head. "No, I mean just _giving up_ , going insane without further struggle. And don't tell me about how great that will be. If it is as you say, you won't even..." She searched for words, now very wide awake. "What about conquering the universe? You can't do that anymore then."

For a moment she thought the Master would snap at her, but he simply turned away, looking horribly helpless all of a sudden. "Do you think," he mumbled, "I don't know that?" His head turned back towards her and he took a step closer. "What am I supposed to do about the inevitable? Cry and rebel? What use is that?"

"Sounds more like Stockholm syndrome to me," Roka retorted with folded arms. "You can't get rid of the drums, so instead you start to glorify them. There is this _one_ thing you can't control and can't destroy... and therefore you go out and control and destroy everything else..."

The Master stared at her for a long while, before his arms crossed and he lowered his head. "I don't know what I'd be without them."

Roka sighed and closed the last step between them, looking up at him.

"Free," she simply said.

And in the faint light she thought to see his eyes shimmering wet, his voice was low and barely audible when he spoke next. "It's not possible. I tried _everything_. And as things are progressing now... I soon won't be able to cope with them much longer."

To her it almost sounded like a plea for help. If only she could. But there was another person, who might.

"Let's go, see the Doctor," Roka said calmly and took his hand.

"Certainly no..."

"Shush. No protest. You still owe me a favour for cutting me open, remember?" She grinned meanly at him. "And I want you to let him try. Worst case you can tease him with how useless he is. Best case... well... Let's see about that."

A long moment passed. The Master stared at Roka, then slowly nodded and clutched her hand tightly.


	44. Silence

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One, two, three, four. Pause.

He had started to count.

Tap, tap, tap, tap. Pause.

It helped a tiny little bit. A number. Each beat a different one.

One, two, three, four.

And there always was a small pause in between the next set, making it impossible to count further. It just didn't feel right. Because the next one wasn't a five or a six or a seven or an eight. It was always the exact same. So he stayed with the four.

And with the numbers there now was also a word in his head with every single beat. Not only a sound, but also a word. That helped. It was distracting. And it was a different word for each number, whilst the sounds always stayed the same.

"Master... do you listen at all?"

The voice joined the drumbeat, not drowning it out, only existing next to it. Such an annoying voice, simply because it belonged to the person he hated most in life.

No. That wasn't even true. No, no, no... it wasn't true. He didn't _hate_ the Doctor. Not like that. It was much joy to see this overly merciful and friendly face suffer for a bit, to hit a good dent in that ego, to show him, what a week and poor creature he was. Very much like he himself. But no, this wasn't hate.

It was simply the game they were playing since so long ago.

The Master blinked a few times when a hand waved in front of his face. Only now did he realize that the other Time Lord still stood right in front of him, his face covered in concern.

"Yes, I'm listening," he growled. "It's not as if anyone could overhear your squeaky voice."

"Alright, I will start the tests then. Tell me if something feels... err... funny. I'm not sure those machines work properly. Got them during the rebellion of the ljorkars. Year 384 of the reign of..."

"If you get as much a scratch on me, I'll tear you to pieces," the Muster grumbled and lay on his back, ignoring the Doctor's ramblings.

They were inside the same research room he had used to find out more about Roka's glitch. It felt as if that had been ages ago. The memories came back, reminding him that he had never found an answer as to why he had let her back inside the TARDIS that day, why he had agreed to help. Why he had agreed, when she had asked to travel with _him_ of all people. And that with such a wide grin on her face as if that were the greatest thing that could have ever happened.

After all he had done to her.

She had felt so familiar. As if he knew her from somewhere, even though it was impossible. But each time he had wanted to kill that human, it had felt so... wrong. Yes... wrong. Finally he could put a word to it. Now that his mind was slipping away more and more.

One, two, three, four.

His fingers tapped on the plastic of the hard and cold bed-thing he was lying on.

One, two, three, four.

Pause.

The young woman sat on another of the plastic beds not too far away and watched everything the Doctor did, as if to make sure he wouldn't harm him. That made the Master smirk a little. As if the Doctor could harm anyone.

Well, of course he could. And he had. It was astonishing to how much violence the oh so friendly Doctor was capable. When his moral codex allowed it. Or rather... when he got an excuse for it.

Or when he had burned their entire race.

Some noises started to buzz through the air and a blue light bow appeared above the Master, sliding up and down over his head. Sometimes it stayed still, other times it moved rapidly. He tried to focus on it, to find a pattern to the movement, tried to let the buzzing noise inside his head, although it was annoying. But it was still better... tap, tap, tap, tap... than the never ending drums.

How long did he have left?

"Alright," the Doctor's voice appeared again, sounding happy and enthusiastic. Annoying. "Time distortion test done. Let me get some blood samples."

"Some?" The Master arched a brow as he sat up. "Sounds like you want to drain me, you damn vampire."

The Doctor only grinned though and came back with a device that held a needle inside. It would draw the exact right amount of blood, without leaving a wound behind or causing any pain. Not like those primitive things his beloved humans used.

"You sound as if you read too much fantasy novels lately," the Doctor chuckled.

The Master threw a quick glance at Roka and saw her smiling innocently.

"Yes, a bird fluttered in and handed me quite an impressive list of those." He watched as the Doctor filled the third device. "Have to keep my mind busy somehow... you know... since I'm a little trapped in here."

It was always a delight to see this confident face drop a bit. Stupid Doctor. One kept a prisoner and adhered to it, or it was useless. Especially when he didn't even have a clue what to do with said prisoner. And it was obvious that the Doctor had no clue. Dragging him around to places, but only to those which were safe. Giving him a room, but otherwise locking him out from everywhere else. Deactivating the shocks to take the samples, but not taking the handcuffs off.

Sure, in any other case the Master would have found ways to stir trouble a long time ago. And he had so many ideas what pranks to play inside a TARDIS. The possibilities were endless.

"Good," the Doctor pulled away the fifth device, filled with precious blood. "Don't want you to faint, so this will do for now."

"I don't like how that sounds," he grumbled and pulled down his sleeve again. "Any more ideas how to weaken me?" A mean grin wandered over to the other Time Lord. "Wouldn't it be quicker to just knock me out?"

The Doctor sighed. "I'm really just trying to help, Master. Can we forget about everything else for a while? It would make this a lot easier. For the both of us."

"No, I don't think that's possible," he sneered. "In case you find something, I don't even want to know what humiliating thing you'll demand as payment from me." His fingers started to tap again. It got louder. "Translation: I'll have my fun beforehand. Just in case."

"I wasn't going to demand anything from you!" the other Time Lord protested.

"Are we done?"

One, two, three, four.

Pause.

"Huh? Oh, yes. For now. I'll check the scan results and do some blood tests. Then we'll see."

* * *

Never before in his long life had the Master slept that much. It was only possible through tricking his body into a certain state. But sleep was the only time when the drums didn't bother him. Even the nightmares were more bearable than them by now.

But even with tricking himself, the Master could only gain a few hours more peace than usually; awaking sweaty and shaking, the drums hammering into his mind from the very first second the last haunting image faded. Sometimes they washed over him so brutally, he felt physically sick, sometimes they plainly wiped away his consciousness for hours.

On good days they only scraped at the verge of physical pain.

And still it continued to worsen with a threatening speed. Subtly, barely noticeable in itself, but the changes accumulated fast.

Roka, that stupid girl, she always came to him, brought some food when he hadn't left the room for too long, tried to distract him. On most days he shooed her away, on others, when it was slightly more bearable, he let her, but made her promise to go away as soon as she noticed anything weird.

"Weirder than usual?" Roka had asked with poked out tongue and a sarcastic smirk.

Daft human. He smiled against his will, it just happened, he couldn't help it.

* * *

Someone took his hand. In a daze the Master looked down and saw it was Roka again, dragging him along to somewhere. Where had he been? How had he gotten there? This room was strange, like a planetarium, but instead of stars it was filled with tiny floating bubbles, each filled with an image.

"How did you even get there?" her voice tore him out of the thought. "I thought you can't enter any other rooms."

"I... No idea," he muttered, glaring at her hand that held his. Small, fragile.

"Mhm, that happened to me too. You know, when you put them in my head. I constantly ended up being places."

She knew. Everything. The very worst things at least. Not all of them. Not even a fraction. But still enough. Enough to run away from him, as far as possible.

Why didn't this human run from him? Everyone else did. He had made sure of that.

* * *

He found out why he was able to end up places without knowing it. His access wasn't as restricted as he had thought. For a few days the Master wandered the TARDIS. Of course, the Doctor had lifted some restrictions so the Master could find a room for himself. Seemed as if that scattered brain of his had forgotten to set those restrictions back in place.

Not that there was anything helpful. Those rooms were fun to investigate, but useless in the long run. Or so he thought. There was one... the inside looked as if cut out from some kind of spaceship he couldn't recognize. Various gadgets lay strewn around and... The Master crouched down and picked up a thing that suspiciously looked like a small handgun. He fired it and saw that it was filled with sharp, thick metal bolts instead of bullets. More like a tool than an actual weapon, but still...

It didn't matter. He took it with him.

* * *

Drums and dreams and tests. Empty words and bright lights, whirring noises, eyes filled with confidence, hope, fire.

Dwindling.

Du... du... du... du......... Du... du... du... du......... Tap... tap... tap... tap......... One... two... three... four...

One

_It was dark._

Two

_And cold_

Three

_He was alone_

Four

_And blood covered his hands._

The Master shot up, panic filling his mind, the drums hammering in on him so suddenly and loud he almost threw up. For a while he just sat there, drenched in cold sweat, glaring at his hands. There was no blood. Not visible at least. There was so much of it, hidden away in his past. It didn't bother him... usually. Most of it. Some... some of those did.

Du... du... du... du......... Du... du... du... du.........

"Just be quiet," he begged muttering and buried his hurting head under his arms as if that would help anything. "Give me more time. Just a little...  a few years. Not now... please."

It got worse.

He slept.

He dreamed, fell, drowned in images of long gone times...

_"Lord Oakdown has been found dead," a man told him. "That makes you the youngest member of your house, Sir."_

_His father... dead... It was hard not to smile, to look devastated. Would they believe that he had nothing to do with it? They had to. There were no traces leading back to him, there never would be any._

_"This also means," the man continued, "you'll be given a loom to continue the heritage of the house."_

_"Of course..." Well, there was nothing to be done about that. "Just give me one that isn't too small. Don't have time for that."_

_"Yes, Sir."_

_They tried to link his father's death back to him. Of course they did. Never trust a womb-born, as they loved to say. Maybe they were right. The Doctor came, told his condolence and they spent the evening together, chatting about old days._

_Time passed. They brought him a three year old. A girl. Dark brown hair, grey eyes. She smiled at him, showing intelligence in her young face._

_"Father," she cheeped and smiled even brighter._

_He didn't like this thing._

_The girl was four, already learning Gallifreyan script. At least he didn't need to have an eye on this nuisance all the time. The child was rather intelligent and didn't make much trouble._

_Five. She was gone. Just vanished one day. He looked everywhere for the dumb brat, didn't want her to ruin his reputation by doing something idiotic. Eventually he found her. There she was, sitting under a tree on Mount Perdition, together with... that was one of the Doctor's boys... Both were reading, comfortably leaned against each other._

_Further back. So much further. Two boys, sitting in the exact same spot, watching as one of the suns set over the hills, making them glow like fire. It was beautiful, peaceful. They promised each other to stay friends forever, to escape Gallifrey and all those stiff rules one day and travel the stars. To visit each and every single one of them._

_"Oh, Father! You came all the way for me?!" the girl squeaked, tore him out of the memory and came running towards him. She bumped against him with enthusiasm and such a wide smile._

_Such an honest smile._

_For him and him alone._

_He swallowed, squatted down. Had she always had such big eyes? Such a pretty face? Her hair tousled from the wind, making her look a bit wild. This happy little smile. It warmed something inside his hearts... and he took the girl into his arms. Maybe for the first time. He couldn't remember._

_Six years old. He was proud of her. She understood so fast and was so eager to learn absolutely everything. There would be a great time at the  academy waiting for her. Sometimes she was a real she-devil, and he knew it was the Doctor's son, who solicited her. He didn't mind, as long as it wasn't something too dangerous. And when some authority person brought her back, he made a serious face until they were gone, before he laughed with her about it._

_"Read me a story, Father!" she often demanded, one day holding out a book to him he knew too well. It was full with Gallifreyan fairytales._

_"Those are about the Toclafane. I thought they scare you," he mocked friendly._

_She put on a pouting face and furrowed her brows so deep it made him laugh out loud._

_"I'm not scared anymore," she decided and stomped her small foot onto the ground. "Please read to me!"_

_And he took her onto his lap, the book in front of them both and told her those stories he and the Doctor had loved so much as children. The girl's hands gripped his own, holding on to him to not let any fear be visible on her face, but her two little hearts were pounding fast._

_A steady rhythm of four beats._

_The drums were getting louder. They always did, that he had noticed long ago. It was annoying, distracting, sometimes made him more irritable than necessary. The girl somehow sensed his moods and stayed silent. But sometimes she came to him, lay one of her tiny hands into his and just smiled._

_Seven. They got louder. She grew. Still so small and fragile, but with a proud look in her eyes, determination on her face when she learned something new, happiness when she finally understood. When had it happened, he wondered sometimes, when his hearts felt warm and proud at her sight. When had it happened that he had started to love this child? He didn't know anymore. Couldn't remember how it could ever have been any different._

_Eight. Not long and she would be initiated. They got louder. She was looking forward to it, got antsy. He grew worried. They got much louder. They came from there. From the Untempered Schism. He didn't want her to look inside. The thought of her maybe going insane ripped his hearts apart. It was hard to find rest the closer the day came._

_Something was wrong. The drums. The noise in his head. It usually was only annoying, but today... it was wrong. It was loud. It was everywhere. He felt dizzy, his thoughts all over the place. What was this? Why was it happening? It hurt. He sunk together, holding his head. But it only got louder and..._

_"Father? Father! Are you alright?!"_

_Who was that? Why where they screaming? Why was it so loud? It hurt, he couldn't bare it, drove him mad, washed away everything... Someone screamed, noises, nauseating noises. And the drums. The always repeating rhythm in his head, loud, loud, loud, loud... then darkness._

_Then silence._

_No, not silence. Just back to normal. It was over. Finally._

_He opened his eyes, sat up._

_Red... his hands... what was with his hands? Why was there blood?_

_"Oh by all of...! What have you done!" a voice screamed. The Doctor's voice._

_He looked down, found more red, hair, a body. He felt sick. This wasn't real. This wasn't true. It couldn't be. No... no... it couldn't. She wasn't breathing. Why wasn't she breathing? Why was there so much blood? He wanted to shake her, wanted to hold her, wanted to hear her voice, see her smile. He knew... deep down he already knew..._

_Something broke. In his hearts, in his mind._

_He looked up at the Doctor's devastated face._

_And started to laugh._

The Master snapped awake, panting and shivering, for once embracing the drums hammering down on him, drowning out all thoughts and memories. It didn't help. The tears came anyways, held back for centuries, but now they had caught up. And for the first time in his life he wished for a second that he might just die.

He had no idea how long it lasted. The only thing he knew was this one thought, repeating over and over again, more painful than the drums could ever be.

_It would happen again._

* * *

The Master didn't let Roka anywhere near him from that on. Only when the Doctor was around as well. The risk was just too big, since he had lost so much control over himself.

One day she didn't show up in the research room and a small, hurting part in him hoped she would have given up. But when he returned to his quarters much later, she sat there, waiting.

"Don't even dare to say a word," she hissed and glared up at him with folded arms, but he could tell that she wasn't really angry. He knew this expression too well. Hurt.

The Master trod closer, wanted to chase her outside, but... instead he carefully cupped her face with both hands, stroked his thumbs along her cheeks. Even smiled. She was so much stronger than she knew.

"Listen," he said. "Don't get mad. Just listen." He waited until she nodded, now looking a bit perplex. He took her hands into his. "He won't find anything... those tests are useless..."

"You can't know that!" she protested.

But the Master shook his head and almost whispered, "Look at me. I'm a mere husk of myself." He smiled at her worried face and said determined, "Leave. Take the Vortex Manipulator and go."

"What? No! Not wi..."

"Go!" he demanded. Suddenly there was fear in her eyes. So long ago he had wanted to see her scared, now it hurt. He stepped a little closer, leaned down to her. "You can be what you want, go, wherever you like. Go out there and write your name across the stars, my little crow. Do something big. Make them all remember you."

Roka looked away for a moment. When she turned back, her eyes were shimmering wet and she swallowed. "I don't want to do this alone."

Stupid, stupid human. He smiled sadly. Precious human.

"Please, do that for me," the Master said, and breathed a kiss onto her hand.

She stared at the spot for a moment, then up again, her eyes full of sorrow. "I don't know what I'd be without you," she breathed. "I... I lo...hmph..."

His hand had snapped up, covered her mouth.

"Don't even think it," he demanded with a smile.

If looks alone were able to kill someone, he surely would be regenerating now. Daft human. As if he wouldn't know. She tried to get away and eventually licked his hand, while wearing a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Och, you're disgusting!" he exclaimed and pulled away.

Then he snatched her into his arms and held her tight, while wiping his hand at her back, earning himself a mean giggle. He didn't want her to go. Not ever. But she had to.

There was no other way.

* * *

More tests. It was in vain.

Du, du, du, du...

No results.

One, tow, three, four.

His fingers tapped the rhythm, while the Doctor was hunched over a small monitor, reading over numbers and diagrams. He sighed and ruffled his hair.

"Again nothing, I'm sorry."

Maybe the Doctor was right after all. Maybe it was dumb to search for the cause as if it were a real thing, and he was simply going insane. It sure started to feel like it. He was so exhausted, so tired. The drums never let him rest, had even started to hinder him from sleeping.

One, two, three, four... Pause... One, two, three, four... Pause... One, two, three, four... Pause...

Words didn't help any longer. Soon he would drown. Vanish.

It made him grin widely.

Too late, too late. There was nothing left to safe anymore.

Du, du, du, du... Du, du, du, du... Du, du, du, du... Du, du, du, du... Du, du, du, du...

The drums hurt.

He was losing control. He could feel it. It was so loud, it hurt so badly, ripped him apart, tore at his very soul. No escape, it just went on and on and on and on...

"Are you alright?" Roka's voice pierced the drumming, made him snap back to consciousness.

He laughed. Alright? What a stupid question. Of course he wasn't. How could anyone be alright while something like that was hammering in their mind.

The Doctor turned around. He stood a few meters away and seemed not really to realize what was happening. Roka sprang to the Doctor and tugged at him to make herself noticeable. She said something, but the words got drowned out by the drums.

The girl came closer to the Master, worry all over her face.

No... no... he couldn't let her near him. He shook his head. "Stay away," he muttered. But the stupid thing didn't listen. He had to stop her, had to...

Quickly he grabbed behind him, reached for the gun-like thing in his pocket and... no, he couldn't even think about pointing it at her. But... the Doctor. He giggled, while pulling up the muzzle.

"What do you think, old friend," the Master chuckled. "Right in the head? Can you still regenerate with that?" A grin wandered to his face, wide and mad. The Doctor had never believed him, had abandoned him in his worst days, had left him behind, never to look back.

"No!" Roka froze, her eyes darting back and forth between him and the Doctor.

"Where did you get that?" the other Time Lord asked dumbfounded.

"Found it." The Master shrugged, still grinning. "You should have shorten my leash. I was a bad dog." He giggled.

One, two, three, four.

"Put it down, Master," the Doctor said carefully. "This really isn't the time... I'm trying to help you."

"Tooooo late!" He fired a bolt, let it hit only millimetres away from the other one's head into the wall.

"Stop!" Roka called out, still frozen in place. Good. As long as she didn't come near, everything was good. "What are you doing?" she asked with a shock laced voice.

"Make it stop." The Master giggled manically. "I bet they stop, when I finally, _finally_ kill this guy. Wouldn't that be funny?"

"You make no sense," she said. "You're not clear. Put that thing down. Please!" She trod closer.

Du, du, du, du.... du, du, du, du.... du, du, du, du.... du, du, du, du....

It got louder. Would it stop? He had to keep her from coming closer.

Louder, closer.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

He shot another bolt. His grin got wider at the fear in the Doctor's eyes. He liked to see him scared, powerless.

"We'll figure it out somehow." The Doctor slightly raised his hands in a reassuring gesture. "Hang on a little longer."

"Stay. Away. From. Me." The Master said slow and shot yet another bolt, not knowing any longer what his goal actually was. He wouldn't kill the Doctor, and certainly not aim at Roka.

"Don't kill him!" she shouted.

And when he looked at her, she hastily pulled out something from her pocket, almost let it fall, but then gripped it tighter, pointing it at him. It was...

"My laser screwdriver!" he said happily. "Hey, why do you have that?"

The Doctor seemed to have noticed her and now stared at the device in her hands.

"Oh! Put that down!" he demanded, without being able to act on anything right now.

"Found it a while back... uh... I thought it wouldn't be the best idea to... give it to you," she admitted.

Clever girl. But still so stupid. He laughed.

"Only I can use it," he said happily. "Useless."

"I... well..." She shifted, a bit uncomfortably. "Might have fiddled around with it a bit. But I could only unlock the highest setting..."

The Master's grin dropped. Did she know? A blast with full energy and he wouldn't be able to regenerate. She couldn't know...

"Probably only knocks you out," she went on, confirming his suspicion. "But if you don't put that gun away... I will use it!" She gripped it tighter.

He, too, gripped tighter, still pointing at the Doctor. Oh, how that guy usually hated weapons, but now that the girl basically protected him with one, he didn't itch a muscle to prevent her from using it. What irony. But then again... he couldn't know either.

One, two, three, four.... One, two, three, four.... One, two, three, four.... One, two, three, four....

Too late.

Too loud.

His thoughts slipped away, drowned in the constant hammering.

No! He had to stay present. There was something... something important.

His gaze wandered to Roka.

He couldn't let it happen again.

What was it? Where? There was... right! The memory came back. It was in his arm. He had built it after all! The emergency teleport.

The Master burst out into a laugh. Oh, how stupid he could be sometimes! Suddenly there was a solution to all of his problems. No, not all. The drums would stay. But he would escape. Get away from this prison, get away from Roka. Maybe he would even get some more time.

All it would take... was for him to die. His hand started to shake slightly. One thing... one thing he wasn't able to do. His eyes were glued to the gun in his hand. He couldn't... just couldn't. It would be so easy, it would solve everything. But. He. Couldn't. Do. It.

"Please," Roka begged. "Just put it down."

She didn't know, what she was holding there.

"No," the Master said slowly, a smile widening on his face. His hand gripped tighter, as he giggled madly, looking at Roka. "A new game? What do you think? Let's see, who is faster!"

There was no comparison with the speed of a Time Lord. His hand shot forward, aimed.

But the Master wasn't planning to win, his eyes instead glued to Roka, saw how her thumb pressed the button. A bright short beam blasted out of the laser screwdriver, surprised her so much that she let it fall.

It was a sharp numbing pain that went through his whole body. The Master had no idea where the laser had hit him, and it didn't matter at all. The gun fell from his loosening grip to the floor. It hurt. Almost as much as the drums. Slowly he stumbled back, hit the wall, faintly giggling to himself.

Roka ran towards him, followed closely by the Doctor. She grabbed his arm.

"Oh, no... no... Master. What have you..." the Doctor whispered, as he seemed to understand.

"What? What did I do?" Roka shouted and tore at his arm. "What..." Tears sprang into her eyes, then terror.

He chuckled and gingerly slid a finger over her cheek. Daft human. The laser had damaged his organs and brain too much. It would only take a few more seconds now, he realized as his vision stared to blur. He had died so many deaths. There, at the brink between light and dark, there was this incredibly short moment where even the drums couldn't reach him.

Roka clutched his shirt and sank to her knees as he slid down further, still smiling, tapping his arm on the spot where he had injected the teleporter.

It hurt. It was loud.

"I'm back in a minute," he brought out somehow and saw her eyes widen, as she remembered. The Master grabbed her collar with shaking hands to drag her towards him. If only he could take her with him. One last time... he leaned forward, kissed her trembling lips, knowing he would never be able to do it again. "Run," he whispered, feeling all strength vanishing from him.

A faint blackness wrapped itself around the Master, steadily engulfing him like a cloak of calm darkness, devouring all colours, one by one, fainting all lights around him. Eventually even the pain faded away, drowned in the crescendo of his never ending drums.

Drowning.

One, tow, three, four...

Fading.

Du... du... du... du...

And finally there it was... incredibly short... not much more than an illusion.

A reverie...

...of silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, writing this chapter was really intense, lol. Writing it from the Master's perspective somehow seemed more fitting, because this one is all about him. And that way it was easier to show how much the drums are consuming him and all that...  
> I also researched a lot, but there is nothing known about his daughter. Only a short hint from Missy. The dream sequence was a super spontaneous thing. You could almost say I dreamed it up...


	45. Empire of dust

>> [Full sized image](http://fav.me/dd9orax) <<

Roka stared wide-eyed at the now empty spot where the Master had sunken down moments ago, just to suddenly vanish into thin air. Everything had gone so incredibly fast... too fast for her mind to catch up. But it did eventually, everything rushed down on her like a waterfall of fire, burned her insides, twisted them in such painful ways that she thought she'd die any moment.

"What..." Roka mumbled in disbelieve and stared at her trembling hands. "What did you make me do?"

Hot, painful tears burned in the corners of her eyes like acid. It wasn't true. It was impossible! She hadn't...

The Doctor hesitantly lay a hand on her shoulder from behind. "Where did he go?" he asked, his voice breathy and filled with as much disbelieve and confusion as Roka felt.

"I..." The tears now came, silently ran down her face, hot and unstoppable. "Doctor... what did I do?" she whispered shakily, still staring at her hands. So, so long ago she had sworn to herself to never take a life again. And now she had... and not just any...

Carefully the Doctor grabbed Roka's arm and helped her up. She saw the same terror in his eyes that was in her heart, the same disbelieve, shock. "I didn't know this would happen." His voice was trembling, his eyes wide and darting around, as if he hoped the Master would reappear. "If I had, I would have warned and stopped you, I swear!"

Roka's legs were like brittle logs, refusing to carry her weight. If the Doctor wouldn't hold her arm, she would have simply sunk back down to the ground. And for a few moments she could only stare at him, silently begging him to tell her that this was just a bad dream, that she would wake up, that he could _fix_ it!

"I... I killed him!" she cried out eventually and suddenly started to shiver violently.

"No... no... Roka," the Doctor tried to appease. "He _tricked_ you into doing it."

"That doesn't change anything!" she sobbed. Her head was so dizzy, any moment and she would simply collapse. It couldn't be. It couldn't... It hurt too much!

The Doctor pulled her into a careful hug and rocked her back and forth. "It's not your fault. Not your fault. Don't think that for even a second."

But all she could do was to sob uncontrolled into his shirt and wish she could wake up, could stop the numbing pain in her chest and in her very being. At the same time she knew it wasn't a nightmare. And the thought ripped her apart. Why? Why had he made her do this? It was not fair. It was cruel, and he surely had known it.

"I know him since we were children," the Doctor eventually muttered, still gently swaying back and forth. "But I never thought I would see him doing something like this."

An eternity passed before the tears ran dry and Roka looked up at the Doctor, who was thinking intensely about something. She pushed herself a bit away and ran a sleeve over her face.

He wasn't dead. Not really.

"He had an emergency teleport," she explained toneless. "For cases when regeneration wouldn't be an option." The Doctor simply nodded as if he had already guessed something like that, and she continued, her voice bitter, "I was so dumb to never ask to where it would bring him though. But it has something to do with resurrection."

"Yeah, that makes sense." Tongue between his teeth the Doctor marched up and down. His face displayed concern and... fear? "That's not good... not good at all... I have to find him. Quickly."

Roka took some deep breaths. "Yes, let's hurry."

"No, Roka." He shook his head determined. "You have to stay out of this."

"What?!" she let out dumbfounded. "No way! I'm certainly not going to stand around like an idiot!"

Quickly the Doctor was in front of her again, his big eyes filled with anguish. "I'm so, so sorry. But..." He took a breath, as if to calm himself, and for a moment looked at the spot where the other Time Lord had vanished. "Don't you get what he did there?"

"Being an arsehole just to escape you?" she huffed sourly.

"No, if he had wanted to just _leave_ , there would have been plenty of other ways." He sighed and rubbed his neck. His next words sounded as if he hardly could believe them himself, "I think... he wanted to protect you."

Her mouth dropped open, but there were no words to speak. Memories of the past weeks ran through her mind. How often had he begged her to leave, to stay as far away from him as possible, over and over again. And still it didn't want to make sense to her. "No..." she muttered. "He wouldn't do something like that just because of me."

"Mhm..." A knowing smile came to the Doctor's face. "Don't judge too fast. That was a more selfish act than you might think."

"What do you mean?"

"Weeell... knowing him, he wouldn't have risked his own death. At no cost, believe me." He pointed a finger up. "Which means, he was _absolutely_ certain that he could come back."

"I... really hope so." She looked away and took a deep breath. "It still makes no sense..."

Thoughtfully the Doctor mumbled more to himself, "I wonder if he even realized it..."

"Realized what?"

He pocketed his hands and glared upwards. "You know... I've seen him doing things... unbelievably cruel things. He is a man, who burns entire galaxies if he feels like it, enslaves planets out of boredom, shatters whatever is in his way without losing a second thought on it.. Who kills for fun and never looks back at the broken souls he leaves behind. I don't think I ever saw him _truly_ caring for... anyone..."

No, that last part wasn't true. She remembered Darook and what he had told her. She remembered all of the Master's stories and the tiny snippets that, when one listened properly, hinted at people he had indeed cared for. In his own way. It might not happen very often, but sometimes even he seemed to let people into his hearts. Squeezed somewhere into a tiny spot that he could ignore, if he had or wanted to.

"And then suddenly," the Doctor continued, "he claims to care for _you_." Now he looked down and at her. "Can you blame me for not believing it?"

"Guess not," she mumbled, realizing astonished, that the Doctor might not know his oldest friend as good as he thought he did.

"I've never seen him act like that around or towards _anyone_." He shook his head. "And then he does _this_. No, I'm sure it was at least partially to keep you safe. And this means I have to do this alone. I know. I'll forget you soon, Roka. But don't follow me anywhere. Please." He didn't gave in to her begging glare and wiggled his forefinger in front of her nose. "I can fix this. Somehow. And I'm a way better match against another Time Lord than a human. He won't be able to harm me as easily as you. Not on purpose and not even on accident."

Roka swallowed and nodded. As much as the thought hurt, he had a point.

* * *

 

Roka tried to force her mind onto something else. But it was hard, incredibly hard. The thoughts kept coming back again and again, not letting her sleep, sometimes not even breath for some moments, her chest so tight it felt as if she was about to die.

What if it didn't work? What if he had made a mistake? What if she had truly...

Every few hours Roka slipped into the console room to ask the Doctor for news, until he eventually, but gently shoved her outside after probably the tenth time, telling her to finally get some sleep.

"As if I could!" she protested a bit sourly.

The Doctor only sighed and gave her a small chip that had an entirely different effect on Time Lords, as he told her, but for humans they functioned a bit like sleeping pills.

"Just this once... And when you're fresh and awake again, I surely will have found a trace," he announced with a reassuring, toothy smile. "It's a TARDIS after all. Wherever he is, I will be there in the right time. Trust me." He winked and carefully pushed her towards the door once more.

* * *

 

"Still nothing," the Doctor admitted with a deep sigh, his glasses high up on his nose. He stood bowed over the console, studying the monitor and some controls in turns, typing in new things here and there, while the TARDIS hummed calmingly in the back. He gave Roka an apologetic grimace. "It was more luck than anything else that I found him the first time... honestly..."

Right. She remembered when he had been aimlessly hopping around after he had visited the Ood home world. Back then she had had no clue what he was looking for. Not until they had been literally running right into the Master's arms.

"I was mostly following rumours, last time," he explained, mouth hanging slightly open as he thoughtfully eyed the monitor and then scribbled something onto a paper. "Any strange happenings and stuff. He is not very good at staying hidden..."

"So, you skim through every news archive in history?" Roka arched a brow.

"Not quite. It must be somewhere around the time he was prime minister." Frantically he tapped some buttons and slightly bit on his tongue.

"Look for a place a cult could hide," she remembered. "He said something about that."

"A cult?" The Doctor laughed. "Now that sounds like him. Let's see..."

* * *

 

Time dragged on as painful as it had done so never before. Roka continued her, probably very annoying, routine of sneaking in every few hours, tugging at the Doctor and asking for progress. A few times he actually was gone and she paced up and down, heart pounding.

Each time the doors opened, Roka's head snapped up. And each time there was a little painful sting, when the Doctor returned alone.

"How did you even know he was alive last time?" Roka pondered some hours later. After the Master had refused to regenerate the Doctor must have thought him dead for good.

Eyes still glued to the monitor he replied dryly, "The Ood showed me."

"What do they have to..." She had to tug at the Doctor, seeing he had forgotten her already."What do they have to do with all of that?"

"Mhm... they called me a while ago. And showed me a prophecy. Something is accelerating their species. That is not supposed to happen. Time is bleeding, they said. And they showed me the Master. And... they said... they warned me... About the _end of time itself_."

"What?" Roka gaped at him. "I mean... he does lots of dumb things. But that sounds..."

"I don't think he will cause it," the Doctor disrupted her thoughts. "But at least the Ood thought he was playing a certain role in those events. And I..." Now he looked away from the monitor and gave Roka a somewhat apologetic look. "I thought I could prevent it from happening if I could get a hold of him first."

So that was why he _really_ had refused to let the Master go. For a second it made her angry that he had done this, but she also understood his reasons.

"And then there was this lady on the bus in the desert," he mumbled on."Psychically gifted.... she said... I would die. And..." He swallowed and looked away. "She said... _He will knock four times_."

Those words hung heavy in the air, as both of them knew their meaning. The drumbeat. That was the reason the Doctor had acted so scared of the Master all the time. Now it suddenly made sense.

The drums... even if they would find him, would they still be as bad as before? Would the resurrection maybe get his mind back to the state it had been after the first one? But what if they really came from within the Schism?

"You said the Ood have been accelerated," Roka pondered. "And if time is bleeding... could that have caused the drums to get so bad so fast?"

Biting his lip the Doctor glared at the monitor without actually seeing it. "That... I was thinking about that too..." He sighed and rubbed his neck. "If that is the case, then I stopped nothing... And it's still happening."

His eyes were dark and sad now. Roka knew this look too well, had seen it so many times when he hadn't been able to save someone or to help. She put her hand on his arm and smiled.

"I'm sure you can fix this. You're the Doctor after all, right?"

"Right!" He spun around and gave her a big grin. "There is no way I will let this happen. And there is no way I'm letting a friend down! Definitely not two at once."

So many times Roka had seen him act like this. As if the rules of life and death and the universe didn't count for him. It was reassuring to have him around. His enthusiasm was the only thing that could dispel the horrible cold in her heart right now.

"Oh, what have we here?" The Doctor let out. "A huge explosion in the Broadfell prison. Shred the whole building to pieces."

"So?" Roka's heart jumped at seeing him so excited.

"Hm... that's where they kept his wife, Lucy. Might be a coincidence... but the time matches and... I'll check it out."

Hastily he turned and whirled around the console, pressing buttons and pulling levers, while shrugging on his coat. Roka held onto the jump seat to not get thrown around, and shortly after the familiar landing sound filled the air.

* * *

 

As soon as the Doctor came back, Roka tore at his sleeve to make him remember her. And the look in his eyes was both, promising and haunted.

"What have you found?" she begged.

"Slow... slow." He put up his hands, somehow looking agitated.

"What is it, Doctor?"

He took a deep breath and leaned onto the console with both hands, then slowly turned around, without looking at her.

"I... I'm scared," he admitted, sounding both surprised and frightened at the same time. "Roka, I... I don't know if I can fix things this time..."

A part of her was feeling sorry for him. She knew what he had gone through, before all of this had started. For him not much time had passed since he had lost Rose and Donna, and since the incidence on Mars. And then, when things seemed to go right for a change, everything had turned around once more.

"Everything I did so far made things only worse," he went on. "I dragged _you_ into danger."

"Well, I'm certainly not mad about that," she smiled.

"But it could have ended a lot different!" the Doctor exclaimed. "What if he had killed you?!"

"You wouldn't know," Roka mumbled. "Maybe that's the only good thing about this glitch. I can be certain, if anything ever happens to me, you won't be able blame yourself for it." That was indeed a reassuring thought, knowing his tendency to do exactly that; but her smile didn't reach him. Reality seemed to have washed over him like a sudden wave. But she needed to know what he had found. "What was there, Doctor?"

He ran a hand through his hair and turned towards the doors. "The whole building is ripped apart. No normal explosion could have done that," he said toneless. "I couldn't go deep inside, too much rubble. All inmates are dead and... I found this." When Roka trod closer he held out something to her. It was a ring, scorched but still intact, with a big green stone in it, decorated with delicate Gallifreyan symbols. "It's what the Ood showed me. He must have used it to store an imprint of himself."

"Wait... but if that was inside those ruins..."

The Doctor shook his head. "I don't know. The resurrection might have gone wrong, that could definitely cause such an explosion. But..." He closed his fist around the ring. "If he is alive and still around, I should be able to find him."

"Then what are you waiting for?!" Roka called out.

And then she remembered.

_He will knock four times._

If there was any truth to this prophecy... And knowing the current state the Master's mind was in right now, _if_ he was alive...

The Doctor was scared for a reason. But like so many times in his life, he was facing a choice. Simply leaving and staying safe. Or going after the Master and almost certainly endanger his own life.

Roka felt a lump in her throat. She couldn't ask that of him. But there was this tiny spark of hope in her heart, burning her from the inside.

"You are right," the Doctor suddenly straightened and smiled, before she could say a word. "I am the Doctor! Who else but me could do anything at all!"

"But what if..." she mumbled, unable to finish the thought. As much as she wanted to find the Master, she wasn't ready to sacrifice a friend. Especially not after having gone through so much to know him safe.

"Who would I become if I wouldn't at least try?" he said through his teeth. then turned around to leave the TARDIS again. "And he is still my friend."

Roka followed with a small distance. While waiting for the Doctor she had set up her mind. There just was no way she could sit around and do nothing. Especially now after hearing all that. On her wrist was the Vortex Manipulator, just in case. Like this she could simply jump back to this moment in time if things went wrong.

The Time Lord ran ahead with wide steps, making it hard for Roka to follow. She could only get a vague glimpse at the destroyed building, but it was enough to let her stomach drop and make her wish the Master hadn't been inside there. Or still was... buried under all that rubble...

She shook her head and concentrated on not losing the Doctor out of sight. Here and there he stopped and took some deep breaths through his nose, as if he was a dog, following a trace. Could Time Lords smell each other? A weird thought, but not impossible.

Her legs started to get a bit tired when they reached a harbour and some sort of junkyard, filled with rubble and construction material, old machines and building parts. Seagulls squeaked above their heads and once again the Doctor halted to scent the air.

His face looked so serious. All those years Roka had always known him as generally happy an funny, but now this side of him was like wiped away.

Making sure to stay out of sight, Roka took the opportunity to take some deep breaths herself. Somewhere in the distance there was a metallic sounding bang. Another one followed. Then two more. The Doctor didn't move, stood there like frozen.

The four bangs repeated and finally the Doctor seemed to make out where they came from. He started to run again. Roka's heart pounded excitedly, but she was also worried. The bangs repeated a few more times, once a lot faster, before it stopped completely.

Only seconds later the Doctor stumbled to a halt, glaring up a hill of gravel. Roka looked up, her heart jumped. On that pile stood a black silhouette, too far away to make it out in detail, but there was no doubt.

The Master was alive.

He lifted both hands to his head, shook it violently. A moment later his arms sank again, but instead he let out a scream, laced with both insanity and pain. It made Roka's chest tighten. Then there was another manic laugh. "You love that running, don't you?!" his familiar voice called out amused. "Come, come! I've got some energy to burn!"

Suddenly he jumped impossibly high into the air, only to land on the other side of the gravel, completely unscathed.

Roka started to run the same moment the Doctor did. But if he had been fast before, now he was like the wind and she fell behind fast, not able to keep up with the wild chase. Not long and she saw that the two had stopped. The Doctor called something she couldn't understand and moments later the chase went on.

By now she only concentrated on running and ignoring how exhausted she was, barely noticing that there suddenly was a crowd of people. And... Wilfred? Roka skittered to a halt, turned around and saw that he and a bunch of other old people had cornered the Doctor. And the Doctor... he let them. Only stretched a little to look around, but ultimately did nothing to get out of the situation.

The Master had escaped out of sight.

Loud and chattily the old folks were busy keeping the Doctor from running further, but Roka had no time for them. She also had no idea where exactly to go. The Master could have ran everywhere. But she wasn't going to just give up. Instead she slowed down to catch some breath, then continued to wander in the general direction they had been heading to before.

The place was huge and open, making it hard to determine a useful path to start searching. And there was no way to tell if the Master was still there or somewhere else entirely by now. She simply hoped he would hide here somewhere, even though it didn't make much sense.

Over and over it ran through her head, what had happened a few days ago, what the Doctor had assumed... And now that explosion. But the resurrection had obviously been successful. They definitely hadn't been chasing a ghost.

After hours of searching it started to feel like that though. The sun was already setting and Roka's legs were horribly tired.

Maybe this was all in vain, and... she startled and listened. There was a sound coming from nearby, and with a new spark of hope she followed it to a bunch of large concrete tubes. Behind one of them was a pile of rubble and junk, and scrambling through it was someone in a black, frayed hoodie.

Roka carefully trod closer and it was hard to hold her tears back. He truly was alive. But he didn't notice her, which was weird, considering his fine senses.

"Master?" she almost whispered, not daring to be louder.

He spun around, his gaze wandering over her, and Roka's heart clenched painfully. Something was wrong with him. His hair was tousled and lighter than before, almost white now, and he looked a bit starved, his beard now only a collection of untrimmed stubbles, and somehow he looked younger than before, reminding her of a lost child, although that might come from the oversized clothes.

It were his eyes, however, that concerned her the most. They didn't recognize her. Not because of the glitch, but... He turned around again, continued to search the junk. His movements were fidgety and somehow unnatural, more like that of an animal than that of a person.

"Master?" she called out his name again, a bit louder this time.

He stiffened, turned around slowly and fixated his eyes on her for a while. They were darting around as if unable to focus on anything. And were possessed by a horribly haunted look.

Suddenly he straightened and walked over to her, only to firmly grab her shoulders and move her a step to the side. Then he continued to rumble through a barrel filled with more junk.

"Do... you search anything specific?" she asked carefully and tried to stay calm.

"Food," he just said. "I'm hungry."

"Uhm..." Roka rummaged through her pockets and pulled out an old granola bar. "Does this work?"

The Master snapped around and tore it out of her hand, barely ripping the paper away before eating the bar with an appetite that was astonishing. Even for his standards. For a second he stared at his empty hands, then at Roka, almost like a cat that awaited more.

"Sorry, that was the only one." She shrugged apologetically . "What's wrong with you?"

It hurt to see him like that. Was it the drums? Had they wiped away his sanity for good?

"Wrong?" It seemed to take a moment before he was able to put meaning to that thought, then his brows furrowed. "Lucy," he mumbled. "Should have killed her the last time. Had a death potion." He shook his head, then looked intensely at Roka and poked a finger at her. "Never get yourself a wife. Nothing but trouble."

As bad as the situation was, that made her chuckle. "Wasn't planning to. Maybe you should be a bit nicer to the women around you... you know. They might stop murdering you."

Perplex the Master stared at her, head slightly tilted.

Roka wasn't sure he was aware enough to answer, but she had to know. "Why did you make me do that?"

No answer.

She stepped closer and reached a hand out to grab his hoodie, no, to just place it on his chest, wanting to feel his heartbeat, wanting to be sure he was truly alive. Tears came welling up again and she couldn't stop them any longer. All of this, is was just too much. She wrapped her arms around him and silently let them flow for a while. He didn't move, just glared down at her.

Eventually she looked up at him and sniffed. "Come on. Let's get to the TARDIS. I'm sure the Doctor can fix this."

Something changed in his eyes. A hint of consciousness crossed them.

"The Doctor... no, no, no... I have to run farther. He can still smell me. Have to get away." He wanted to move, but realized that there was someone holding him. It took a moment, then his eyes steadily widened in terror and he pushed Roka away forcefully, making her stumble back a few steps. "No no no no no! You can't be here!" he shouted, his voice full of panic. "Stupid, stupid human. Why are you here?! Go away. _Run!_ "

"Wh... what? No way!" Roka protested perplex. "Come on, this can be fixed, I'm sure of it."

But the Master only took another step back, then shook his head, his eyes suddenly flickering and he let out a whimper. "Too loud, too loud. Too late. Go away."

She scurried to him, grabbed his arm. "Is it the drums?"

He nodded, then shook his head and looked up again. "Leave," he begged. "I can't... It can't happen again. _Please_ , go." But at the same time he grabbed her jacket as if to prevent her from obeying his words.

She wordlessly leaned against him. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You have to," he mumbled, then shoved her away. "I can't control it. Can't keep you safe."

He trembled and shook his head and... suddenly his skin flashed blue and became translucent for a second, making his bare skeleton shining through. It was over in a second, but Roka glared at him with her mouth hanging open.

"What was _that_?"

His eyes started to flicker again and gone was every hint of consciousness, replaced only by madness. He then giggled to himself, letting a manic grin split his face. "Look at me, I'm a monster," he said happily, jumped towards Roka and grabbed her collar. "There, that's me, look!"

It happened again and a sharp pain went through her whole body as the blue energy cursed through her too. It paralyzed her, made her unable to scream, so intense, it felt as if she was dying. The Master clutched her and giggled again. Another flash ran through them both.

"Master!" she managed to shout. "Let me go!"

But he didn't react, just clutched her so tightly she awaited her bones to be snapping at any moment, before another electric shock went through her, longer this time, cursing through her in such an intensity that her consciousness started to fade. A thin thread of thoughts let her stay awake. If that would continue, she surely would die, and she called out his name once more.

There was no reaction. Just the pain running through her body over and over again, making her mind numb. "Let me go", she managed to beg. "You're hurting me!" She couldn't move, couldn't think. There was only pain and faint laughter. And his heartbeat, against her chest, unnaturally fast. "Snap out of it! Please! _Koschei!_ "

It stopped.

Roka stumbled backwards, suddenly free of his grip, and lurched to the ground. Her head spun and hurt and she almost threw up from it.

"How..." the Master mumbled. "You can't know that name. How do you...?" His voice was faltering, quiet. But it also had lost the touch of madness that had been there before.

Somehow she managed to smile sarcastically as she looked up. "You literally cut it into me, remember? And I had lots of free time recently. While you were trying to keep me away." Careful not to move too fast she sat up and moaned quietly when her head protested.

The Master took a slow step towards her, then fell to his knees, eyes filled with terror and so many other things that it was impossible to tell them apart.

"I have no idea what's happening to you." Roka lay a hand on his arm and smiled. "But I'm glad you're alive. You made me do something horrible."

"I had to," he breathed, staring at her hand. "I can't let it happen again."

"Well, then let's go fix this," she offered. "And then we'll see what's to do about the drums. I'm sure we haven't tried everything yet." Slowly she leaned towards him, put her forehead against his. "Please come back."

As he looked up his eyes were shimmering wet and he swallowed, but then raised his arms to fold them over his head, shaking it. "How can you still be here?" he mumbled. "After all I did to you." A shiver ran through him and he sunk together even more. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I'm sorry." Over and over again, rocking back and forth.

Roka reached out a hand, dumbfounded. "It's... okay. I'm not even hurt."

"No, no no no." He shook his head. "Why are you like that? Why?"

"Huh?"

What did he mean now? Worry and confusion and just seeing him like this tore her apart inside. As if he were completely broken, barely clinging to the last strand of sanity. When he looked up again there were tears on his face and so much pain in his eyes that it hurt to look at them.

"Silly girl, you shouldn't have followed me," he whispered. "You shouldn't... I'm sorry. Please, just go."

"Certainly not! You can go nuts as much as you want, but I won't just leave you alone!"

A painful smile came to his face and he grabbed Roka's jacket to draw her to him. Just a bit, just enough to glare into her eyes. "How can you love a monster like me?" he mumbled desperately. "How? After all I put you through? After all that pain?" He cupped the side of her face with one hand. "And even though I can't do the same for you... I wanted to. I really did. But it's just empty there..." His hand clenched in front of his chest, then he shook his head, buried it under his arms again and whispered in tears, "Not even that. I can't even do that for you."

Perplex she stared down, overwhelmed by witnessing those raw emotions. Did that really bother him so much? Carefully she wrapped her arms around him.

"As if I would ever demand that of you," mumbled Roka and just held him for what felt like minutes.

Eventually he moved, looked up and took her hands into his. His face was still like an ongoing storm, but at least he seemed to be a lot clearer than at the beginning. He didn't say a word, just stroked his thumbs over her hands, brushed the straps of the Vortex Manipulator. Wordlessly he shoved her sleeve up and looked at the device.

"It's not charged," he mumbled. "You can barely do one jump with it."

"Oh... well, I just took it along for the worst case, so..."

He was fast, too fast for her to react. Suddenly he stood, tore Roka up with him and gripped her wrists, while he entered some coordinates with his thumb.

"Whoa, hey! Don't you dare!" she screamed and struggled, tried to kick him, to turn her wrist, everything, but none of it bothered him. "No, no, no! Don't do that!" she pleaded. "Master, don't... please!"

He glared into her eyes, his look determined. Then he leaned towards her and placed a kiss to her forehead. "I can't let it happen again," he just said. "Hate me for it. Or better... forget me."

"Don't..." she begged. "You can't do this!"

But he only smiled sadly.

And pressed the button.


	46. The final stage

There the Doctor came, slowly walking through this empire of dust and ashes, entering the stage to be part of this final act.

Above them the stars shone bright, so bright. They were beautiful and the Master's hearts ached at the knowledge that he would never reach for them again. Everything was destined to end here, in either death or madness. There was no escape. No running away anymore. The only thing that had ever mattered was gone. Far, so far away in time and space. Nothing was left now.

Nothing but the end.

Time Lords are supposed to face death with dignity. That's what he had told the Doctor so, so long ago. Now it was time, and he was calm, composed. This was his moment, his last opportunity to set things straight while his mind was still in place. He had gotten snapped out of his madness for just long enough, but it was slipping, slowly, steadily, dripping through a hole in his own existence.

He liked to do things properly, to give his audience of one a fitly show.

A last deep breath and the Master stood, turned around to face the man he hated and loved the most. His best friend, his dearest enemy. They were connected by bounds beyond time, destined to meet over and over again, no matter how far away from each other they ran.

No more.

The Doctor stared back, his face more serious than the Master had ever see it before, showing that he knew it too. That he knew he would die, with every careful step he started to come closer. But it wouldn't be that easy, not that fast, not that painless.

It hurt. Every time he used his life force it hurt unbelievably. And still there was a smile, slowly creeping up on his face when he clutched his hands to fists and summoned the power that was given to him, let it crackle through the air, until the hair on his arms stood up. One leg back he took a stance, aimed.

The blue bolt cut the night, exploded into a fire, right behind the Doctor. The other man didn't flinch, didn't turn around. Didn't stop moving closer.

He aimed again. To the other side, creating another pillar of fire, creating a proper stage for their final play. Then he rubbed his hands together, spiked the electricity, ignored the pain that screamed in his body. Both hands stretched forwards, more of his life force shot out in a constant beam, hitting right into the Doctor's chest, making his face contort in pain, his steps slowed down, but never came to a halt, until they stood almost face to face.

The pain was too much to bear, and with shaking hands the Master released the other Time Lord, watched satisfied as he couldn't stand straight any longer and sunk to his knees. The Master was at him in a second, grabbed his ridiculous clothes to hold him upright, to take a look at the familiar face.

"Too bad the handcuffs are gone," he said quietly. "Look at that, I can do whatever I want with you now."

He let go and the Doctor fell onto his stomach, tried to straighten, but was barely able to move.

Oh, it was good. So good to see him in pain, to see even a fracture of the torment he had gone through.

"I had a dream," he said, still calm. "Not now. A few days back, still in the TARDIS. No... not a dream, more like a flash of memories. I remembered... my father's land, red grass stretching far across the slopes of Mount Perdition. It felt as if those fields would never end, as if they would just go on forever. We used to run across those fields all day, calling up at the sky," he reminisced and sat down to the dusty ground, ignoring the Doctor's struggle to get up.

He was so tired. So tired of running, of the pain in his body and his hearts.

"Look at us now," the Master almost whispered and folded his arms over his knees.

The Doctor seemed to cease his struggle and only lifted himself up enough to speak. But the Master had no intention of letting him. For now.

"Shush," he made, then his look got soft. "Doctor... oh Doctor. Have you ever forgotten those days? While we fought and chased each other through all of time and space? Wasn't that all great fun?" A sad smile came to his face as he observed the other one's features, wondering what might go on in his head. "You betrayed me," the Master stated matter-of-factly. "That day when I would have needed a friend more than any other day. When my world broke apart and was soaked in cold and dripping red. When I would have needed a friend, a brother, more than anything else, and all you did was turn your back on me."

"I didn't know!" the Doctor brought out, his voice laced with pain. Not physically. "I'm so, so sorry. If I had known... I... I..."

"Yeah... if only," the Master spoke softly. "If only you would have been a friend that day. If only you would have even tried to believe my words, instead of pointing your finger at me." It was so hard to keep the tears back. He thought he had shed them all after that dream, but there still were more, woven into those memories. "It were _two_ people I lost then," he whispered and looked upwards to the stars. The sight always calmed him, always. But not this time. And they would never again.

"How could I have known? What should I have done?" the Doctor pleaded, still panting from pain and weakness. A moment later his look got sad, as if he would finally understand.

"Mhm... now you get it," the Master smiled. "That's what a friend would have done. Trusted. But that you couldn't do. And all those years later you left. Not a single word to me." He chuckled. "And there we are. At the end of the story. I won't forgive you, Doctor. I never will. But I wanted you to know. I want you to take this pain and this _shame_ with you. To carry it on, like a thorn in your flesh."

"Master," the Doctor gasped. "Please, let me help you. You're not done yet."

"No?" He smiled sadly to himself and shook his head. "You know me. I'm not giving up as long as there is even the tiniest chance to continue." There was a pause. The Master watched the Doctor's face for any reaction, confirmation, anything at all. "This is it. I can't keep going from here on," he admitted quietly.

"Then why did you go through with that resurrection? What did you even think you're doing? You know how dangerous it is! And how many people have you killed to get that much life force?"

"Just a bunch." He smiled. "Not nearly as much as the entire Time Lord population though."

The Doctor ignore the jibe. "It went wrong, didn't it? Your body is ripped open. Now you're killing yourself."

Oh, what a sweet irony. The one thing he could never do. Not even when it had been his only way out. Instead he had relied on Roka to do it for him, and the thought stung. Because she had forgiven him, had come back, just like that. But it didn't matter anymore. She was gone. And with that there was no use in holding back any longer. He could become the ultimate force of chaos. At least that. Everything else had failed and betrayed him.

And he was so cold, his body hurt, yearning for anything that could bring more energy.

"I'm so, so hungry, and they are having human Christmas over there, Doctor," he complained. "They eat so much!" The painful hunger was gnawing on him. "All that roasted meat and cakes and..." he rambled on, imagining all the things they had on their stupidly decorated tables right now.

"Stop it!"

He couldn't. The words just spluttered out of him, without any control. He wanted the pain to stop, the horrible hunger, tearing at his innards, wanted it to be gone.

"Stop it!" The Doctor called out again.

And finally he could snap out of it, found the thin thread of sanity he had been clinging to the whole time, grasped at it, folded his arms over his head and just breathed.

"What if _I_ ask _you_ for help?" it came from the Doctor.

The Master looked back and gave him a mocking pout. "Adorable."

"There's more at work here than you and me," the other man spoke quick to make sure he wouldn't get interrupted. "I couldn't tell you. I... I didn't dare to. I thought I had prevented it, but... I've been told, something is returning."

"And here I am," the Master said dramatically.

"No, something more. The Ood told me a prophecy... that's why I came to search for you in the first place. That's why I... I'm so sorry I locked you away like that. I really just wanted to prevent all that from happening."

The Master snorted. Ridiculous old Doctor! If there really had been something as important as he made it sound... "Then why haven't you told me?" But it was so obvious, it made him laugh. "Oh, right. You can't trust me. Not even _once_!"

"I... No... I didn't. And I'm sorry for that, I really am. But now we have to..."

Not that he had a good track record of being trustworthy, but the Doctor should know by now that there were circumstances where their feud had to wait for a little.

"You could trust me during the Time War, couldn't you? I always had your back."

"That was different..." The Doctor looked away.

"Is it? If I interpret it right, there is a mutual enemy to fight. What in the universe makes you..."

The Master stopped, overwhelmed by a sudden outcry of the drums. He gripped his head and flinched. Not long, not much time.

"Master!"

"It hurts," he moaned. "It hurts so much. The drums, Doctor. They're claiming me." Somehow he managed to get to his knees. "One, two, three, four," he spat out. "One, two, three, four." Counting didn't help any longer. "It's so much louder than ever before. Can't you hear it?" The Doctor shook his head. "Listen, listen, _listen!_ " he demanded. "Every minute, every second... every beat of my hearts. You never believed it, but it's always there. _It's there_ , calling to me. Please," he begged now. "Please, listen for me. Just _once_."

"I can't hear it," the Doctor said, shaking his head.

" _Of course you can't!_ " the Master shouted in sudden rage. "It's in my bloody head!" Slowly he crawled towards him. It was so loud. "But you could. If only you would stop denying me help and listen!" He wouldn't be able to fool him, like he had done with Roka. Wouldn't be able to send out a mere echo. It was so simple. Just a small mental nudge. " _Listen_!" he demanded and grabbed the Doctor's head, putting their foreheads together.

And he let the drums in with all their force, didn't stop them for once.

Only a second later the Doctor flinched and jumped away, almost to his feet.

"What?" the Master asked perplex.

"But that's..." he began, but didn't continue...

"What!?" the Master demanded.

"I heard it." The Doctor's voice was full of disbelieve and also fear. "But there's no noise. That can't be. It's just your insanity..." He stopped there, his eyes filling with guilt as he probably remembered what this assumption had destroyed so long ago. "There really is something, but what... what's inside your head?" he finally asked, somewhat shocked.

Could it be? After all those centuries, after all the doubt and the pain and... The Master slowly heaved himself off the ground and started to chuckle, holding his head. "It's real... You never believed it." He couldn't stop the laugh in his throat. "It's real," he repeated, barely able to believe it himself.

No, this was not the end! He wasn't insane! Maybe the drums made him mad, but they weren't insanity themselves. And this meant he could _fight_ them, could withstand a little longer. Maybe even forever. The mere thought seemed to push the noise back a bit, let it faint to only a painful throbbing in his head, but no longer a maddening torture. He looked around, for a second awaiting Roka to appear somewhere, like she always did. But then he remembered that it wasn't possible. It would take her years to recharge the Vortex Manipulator. And after that she would be too angry at him to return.

Still he took another look around, silently begging to be wrong. _There is still hope_ , he thought. _I'm not done yet. I won't give in to them!_

He would find her later. For now he had to fix his body.

It was real. Truly real!

In a single moment his whole life fell apart. All the things that had gone so horribly wrong because of the drums, all the times they had paralyzed him, had driven him to do ridiculous things just to keep himself busy and sane. And the times they had made him do things so horrible that even he could barely live with the memories.

None of it could be made undone, the Master knew that. But the mere knowledge of not being guilty of those things... Maybe now he could finally let the memories rest in peace.

A mad laugh shook him, but it was another kind of madness than he was used to.

"It's real!" he screamed in joy and summoned his life force, shot two beams to the ground to lift himself into the air, still laughing.

The Doctor shot up and followed, so the Master landed once more, stood on top of a small gravel hill and pointed down. "All those years you thought I was insane! You didn't even _consider_ believing me!" His arm raised in a victory pose as another laugh shook him. "Look at me! I'm king of the wasteland!" This was just too good. Too good to be true. "But if they are real... it means _something_ is calling me, Doctor! What is it?" The other Time Lord didn't react. "What is it? What _is_ it?!" He shouted.

At the same moment a blinding light appeared above him, out of nowhere. It glared so bright, he couldn't see what sent it out, although the noises seemed to stem from a helicopter. What did that mean? The drums were real, and the same moment he found out, this thing appeared? Right above him? And the Doctor was rambling on about a prophecy?

The Master stretched out his arms. _Come and get me_ , he thought. He was ready to face whatever it might be. A second spotlight illuminated the Doctor. Was he part of this too? What did it matter! He, the Master, was the main attraction! The thought made him laugh as he looked back up into the blinding light. Ropes fell down next to him and men clad in black military uniforms slid down.

Wait... what did they...

It happened too fast to react. All of them together grabbed the Master and one bent his head back to inject something into his neck.

No! No, no, no! He was so close! So close to finally... his thought slowed down, his head got heavy, dizzy. And then there was silence again.

But he couldn't hear it.

* * *

 

Somewhere on the far end of the universe, millions of years in the future, there was a beach, stretching for miles and miles. Waves shimmered purple in the sinking sun, calmly washing sand back and forth, while small grey birds circled in the sky.

A noise filled the air and suddenly Roka stood in the sand, stumbled and fell, panting. Her head was spinning and it took some minutes to fight back the sickness in her stomach. No one had told her that travelling with a Vortex Manipulator was so straining on the body. Or maybe it was only because she wasn't used to it... or because it hadn't been charged properly.

Roka took another few deep breaths and got to her knees. All of her mental strength was necessary to look at the device on her wrist.

There it was, a small, dreadfully blinking icon that told her, she wouldn't be able to jump back, steadily blinking on, mocking her. Roka clenched her hands to fists and fought back tears of anger.

"You did it _again_!" she let out and punched the sand. "Why don't you just let me help you for once?!"

Of course the shouting was in vain. Nobody could hear it here, and the thought frustrated her even more. Especially since she had absolutely no idea how to get back. There surely wasn't a stash of Chronoplasm just casually lying around nearby to recharge the device.

What had he said about it? Energy blasts and sunlight. Hastily she ripped the Vortex Manipulator from her wrist and lay it into the sand. Sure, he also had said it would take ages, whatever that may mean. Hours? Some days maybe? It only needed enough energy for a single jump back, so it didn't really matter.

Back... Roka blinked into the sun, her mind racing. She had no idea where they had been exactly, had no coordinates, neither for the exact time, nor the location.

"Dammit!" Two birds that had landed nearby got scared. "No... Not with me, Master. Not with me!"

She snatched a thin stick and cleared an area of sand to use it as her chalkboard. That formula was still in her head, she had written it so often, it was impossible to forget it ever again. And the VM was loaded enough to be abused as a calculator at least. Worst case, she could probably calculate it by hand, but that method was prone to yield too many errors. A risk she couldn't take. Not with space-time travel.

Time... right. What time had it been? She vaguely remembered it to be cold, not too much, and still... right! They had run past some houses that had decorated trees in the windows. And the newspaper... oh, of course, it had been Christmas! What irony.

Space... Roka cursed under her breath. She had always used the coordinates of Donna's house for her test calculations. But how far away was that from the harbour? It were the only coordinates in her mind though, so for better or worse she had to use them.

After a few hours had passed she had gone over her calculation at least a hundred times. Just to be sure. The tiniest error could catapult her into a wall or into the wrong time entirely. Although that wasn't her most urgent problem.

When the Master had told her, it would take ages to recharge the device with solar energy... he had meant it. The charge had risen exactly 0.000002% in the last hours. And to make it worse, the sun had set completely, forcing her to wait through a moonless night. At this rate it could take years to get enough energy for a single jump.

She also wished she hadn't given her last granola bar away, having no idea if anything around was digestible for her. Maybe the birds... But even those had left for the night.

Her frustration couldn't be worse as she searched her pockets in the hopes to maybe find something there. Actually... she did. Although it certainly wasn't edible.

The laser screwdriver. Disgusted she threw it into the sand, not wanting to think about what she had done with this thing not long ago. Having been tricked into doing it didn't make it any better. To a certain extend it was her fault that the Master was in this condition now.

A mean part inside her had to laugh at it. Maybe that was some sort of karma. She had given him back all the physical and mental pain _he_ had made _her_ endure. And there had been lots of both. Probably more than other humans would have been able to go through without being permanently damaged.

Without? No. It hadn't left her unscathed. Her hand automatically wandered to her chest, covered the name he had cut into her. She had deciphered the symbol some days ago, and it had left her wondering why he hid it like a secret. Roka liked how it sounded, like the name of an ever burning star.

It hurt. Somewhere deep in her chest was a pain way worse than anything she had ever felt before. Worse than the cuts, worse than the drums...

Separation.

For every single bit of pain he had made her feel, she had gotten back so, so much more. There was a warmth and a tenderness inside this man, no one would believe it. No one but her, because she had not seen, but _felt_ it. In moments of weakness, in seconds where he hadn't awaited to be observed. But that was what she had done her whole life. Being a ghost, what else could she do but to watch?

No. Glitch or not, she had decided to no longer be a mere spook. She was a real living thing. And everyone would have to learn that. Even a certain Time Lord.

Swallowing down the tears Roka got up to grab the laser screwdriver from the ground. That thing could emit energy blasts strong enough to permanently kill a Time Lord. A Vortex Manipulator was basically indestructible. It was worth a try, even though her hands were shaking from the fear it might harm the device anyway.

But Roka fought back the fear and took aim.


	47. One of many

There had been an error in the calculation. Roka knew it immediately when she materialized back on earth and saw that the sun hung in the sky again. The clock on the Vortex Manipulator told her it was the next day, so at least she wasn't too far off. This second jump had been not less straining on her body though, and for a few minutes she leaned against the wall of a house to get her rebelling - and luckily empty - stomach under control.

"I ran out. Everyone was changing!"

Roka looked up, recognizing Donna's familiar voice.

"Gramps, can you hear me? Are you there?" Her voice sounded troubled, slightly panicking. "Can you hear me?"

Moments later she ran around the corner, almost bumping into Roka on her way. In her hand she held a phone to her ear. "What do I do?" she whimpered and skittered to a halt.

Roka was already about to come over to her, when suddenly another figure appeared in front of them both.

The Master!

But, he wore strange clothes, that didn't even seem to fit him.

"What the..." she let out surprised and blinked confused.

There were two of him! No, _three_! Why were there three Masters?

"There's more of them," Donna mumbled. "They are everywhere!"

"Oh, I'm starving," one of the Masters said with a way to happy smile. "I'm still hungry," added another one with the same expression.

Perplex Roka moved closer towards Donna when she saw even more clones appearing from all around. "Don't harm her!" she called out to them, but they didn't react.

"It's not just them," spoke Donna into the phone. "I see those things again. Those creatures! Why can I see a giant wasp?!"

Oh no, this wasn't good! She wasn't allowed to remember! Roka tried frantically to come up with some idea to get her out of the situation, for now ignoring the fact that those Master copies didn't seem to see her.

"It hurts," Donna cried. "My head. It's getting hotter, and hotter, and hotter..." she repeated over and over again.

Roka reached out to grab Donna's hand and get her out of there, but she couldn't even do a step when Donna's head suddenly started to glow golden, before a shockwave knocked her off her feet and let the world faint into blackness.

* * *

 

The Master stood there, upright and still feeling incredibly small in his oversized, tattered clothes. He had taken over the whole planet of Earth and still it felt as if he had gained nothing, when he looked into the eyes of his oldest enemy.

His oldest friend.

The glint in them only growing as the Master approached to loosen the straps around the Doctor's mouth.

"Ah, that's better, hello," the Doctor greeted as if nothing had happened. "But really. Do you think I'd leave my best friend without a defence mechanism?"

The Master only answered with a pouting smile that could barely hide how it actually amused him that his favourite opponent did indeed have something to wield against him. Everything else would have been a bit boring anyway.

"Doctor! What happened?" came Wilfred's worried voice.

"It's alright, she's fine. Promise." he assured. "She'll just sleep."

A bit impatiently the Master moved between the two men, cutting their line of sight to each other.

"Tell me." He smiled. "Where's your TARDIS?"

"You could be so wonderful," the Doctor said calmly.

"Where is it?" He had no time for those musings.

"You're stone cold brilliant. You are, I swear, you really are."

The Master rolled his eyes to the side, cherishing the compliment as much as he looked for a trap behind it. Was the Doctor trying to apologize after their talk in the wastelands? It was too late for that. The Master had long decided to never forgive.

"But you could be so much more. You could be beautiful," the Doctor went on, raising the straps on his head with his eyebrows alone. "Let's go back together," he offered in the same calm tone as before. "And then travel the stars some more. Properly this time. It would be my honour," the Doctor declared. "Because you don't need to _own_ the universe. Just _see_ it."

The Master interrupted with a snort. And held out his hands as if he had something in them. "It's so vast, so beautiful. I want to hold it all in my hands, Doctor. I want it to be _mine_ ," he tried to explain, but could see that his words didn't reach the other man.

The Doctor sighed barely noticeable and gave him a small smile. "Don't you get it? To have the privilege of seeing the whole of time and space. _That's_ ownership enough."

To his dismay those words were heavy with meaning. So heavy that the Master's hearts dropped for a moment. Going back. Just forgetting about everything. They could snatch Roka from that beach he had teleported her and just... travel. It sounded too good... way too good.

He was so tired of running.

But it wasn't possible.

Du-Du-Du-Du .... Du-Du-Du-Du .... Du-Du-Du-Du ....

Unbearably hot tears sprang to his eyes. Even if he would agree, the drums were still there, still gnawing on his sanity, cowering in the shadows like a hungry wolf, to steal everything from him that had meaning.

"Would it stop then?" he asked, trying to keep a calm face. "The noise in my head?"

"I'm sure I haven't tried everything yet," the Doctor reassured. "We'll find it out. You and me."

The Master swallowed hard, unsure what to think or feel or do. What if he was right? What if they could get rid of it? But...

What if that would be worse than keeping them?

"I don't know what I'd be without that noise," the Master admitted quietly.

"I wonder what what _I_ 'd be... without _you_ ," the Doctor retorted.

Those words made his hearts ache. Almost the same words Roka had used not long ago. Had he been wrong? Maybe the Doctor really _did_ care in the end. And he was oh so right. What was a hero without some evil to hunt? What was a villain without a hero to stand against? Their eternal game would end. But there was no remedy for the drums. And deep down they both knew it.

The Master glared at the Doctor for a moment, his hearts aching.

"Yeah," he just said.

Nothing else.

* * *

 

Not much time could have passed when Roka regained consciousness again, sitting up with a groan. Some clones were lying around and Donna in the middle of them. Roka had to get her away. Still a bit shaky she got up and grabbed the woman under the arms to drag her inside the house. The door was still open.

Occupied by her burden, Roka didn't look around much and promptly bumped into something. When she turned around, she unsurprisingly came face to face with yet another Master. He wore casual jeans and a dark green polo shirt. And as soon as he recognized her, his eyes widened surprised.

"What are you?" asked Roka scowling, cutting him off, before he could let out a single word.

"Huh? I'm me!" The Master stretched out his arms with a wide grin, then firmly wrapped them around Roka. "I thought it would take you much longer to come back!"

"Lef me fo!" she brought out, pressed against him. He did, still grinning from ear to ear, and ignored Roka's sour look, when she asked, "Where do all those clones come from?"

"No clones," the Master replied happily. "They are all me. Every single human on earth! Good thing you came back _after_ that..."

Roka groaned and pushed herself away from him. "That's such a stupid thing. Only you could come up with it," she ranted. "How did you even do that?"

"Oh, someone else noticed my brilliance and offered me a job," The Master replied, smugly grinning. "I'm afraid after that I got kinda... self-employed."

"Geez! You were more bearable while going nuts." Roka's mind was completely occupied with coming to terms with that weird situation. But eventually she remembered Donna. "Help me with her. I really don't want to tell every copy of you to not harm her."

"Who is she? Why hasn't he changed? The gate is set to alter human DNA." The Master eyed Donna sceptically, not budging.

"Well... I don't get it completely. There was this severed hand of the Doctor in a small tank. And it was filled with regeneration energy too. Donna touched it, and..."

"A metacrysis?" he laughed out loud. "Oh my, oh my. That's so him."

He still didn't move a muscle to help Roka, so she dragged the unconscious woman into the house herself and locked the door behind them. The Master looked around the interior, picked up random items and threw them away, then opened the fridge. Roka lost him out of sight, while dragging Donna into her bed. The woman seemed to be alright, what lifted at least a small weight off of Roka's shoulders. She had always liked Donna, had sometimes told her a few stories in the library, while enjoying some tea and cookies with her.

After Roka had made sure that Donna was sorted, she went to get back into the kitchen. There was a bunch of bones and crumbled papers lying strewn on the table and the Master was busy gnawing on something that probably had been a duck leg.

"I'm used to you having an untypical appetite... but isn't _that_ a bit.. weird?"

She scratched her head and finally realized that he wasn't hearing her. Slowly she trod closer and waved a hand in front of his face, made some grimaces and called him a shit-head.

No reaction.

Not until she nudged him with her elbow, only to find the same look of confusion and recognition on his face that people usually had when they were affected by the glitch.

A hurtful sting went through her chest at that realisation. She had gotten so used to him not forgetting her that she had never considered the possibility that it might not be permanent. Although she silently begged that it had only to do with him not being the original version. How else could it be?

It simply had to.

"So... you copied your DNA to every single human on the planet?" she asked and grabbed a few chocolate bars that he hadn't have the time to eat yet. "Hey, I've been stranded for hours on a dumb beach! Let me have some," she grumbled and ignored his stare. "Thanks for that by the way," she added sourly.

"I had to," the Master said calmly and smiled apologetically.

"No, you did not! Stop protecting me!" Roka crumbled the chocolate paper up and threw it at him. "It's _my_ life and I can do whatever the hell I want with it!"

He evaded the paper and got up so fast the chair dropped to the ground. With two big steps he towered over her, his eyes dark, but free from the previous insanity. "Wrong." His voice was serious and demanding. "It belongs to me."

"Think that as much as you like," Roka snapped back. "But you can't chase me away over and over again and then make claims."

His eyes got softer. For a second he looked away, swallowed. "I can't let you die," he breathed.

"But everyone else on earth is okay?" she added snarky.

His head snapped back. "Yes."

"Flattering, really..." She still held the sarcastic tone, but then decided to have this conversation later. And with a different version of him. "So, there is an original you sitting around somewhere, bathing in the light of this... brilliant idea."

"There is no original." He waved the thought away with his hand. "We are all perfectly the same."

"No," Roka mumbled. "Not quite."

Ignoring the questioning look she grabbed his hand and lead him outside, near a group of three Master's that were busy annoying a dog. A wide and nasty grin came to her face at the sight of them. One wore the outfit of a teenage girl. Way too short skirt and a pink tank top.

"Suits you," she teased.

"Pfff, I look sexy in everything!"

"Errr.... no." She chuckled. "Look closely," she demanded and trod to the group.

Confirming her suspicion, neither the dog nor any of the Masters reacted. Not even when she made faces towards them. Moments later she returned and took his hand again to make sure he wouldn't forget.

"That... can't be," he murmured shocked.

"Apparently it can. Whatever makes you remember me... it seems to have nothing to do with your DNA."

"But we're all the exact same! How can that..."

Roka shook her head and went back inside the house again, dragging the Master after her. "You didn't make copies of yourself... It's more like you split your mind into billions. Each and every single one of those," she pointed outside, "are a different _you_ from the very first moment. They all will have different experiences, memories... They aren't _exactly_ you anymore. And you aren't them."

The Master gulped, a horror filling his eyes that exceeded everything else. He then looked at Roka, devastated, and said slowly, "If we are affected by your glitch... Then none of them remembers your very existence. Nothing... Not a single second..."

"No." The thought made her sad. "That's why you _have_ to tell me where the original one is."

He ran a hand over his face and took a deep breath, before he shook his head and sat onto the sofa. Roka came towards him and he stretched out a hand, grabbed her arm, tearing at it so surprisingly that she couldn't hold her balance and suddenly found herself on his lap.

"What does it matter?" he said with a smile and hooked a finger into her collar to draw her close. "It's not as if you couldn't make yourself noticeable to me. And other than that I _am_ the exact same." Still he drew her closer, then kissed her slow and tenderly.

Roka got lost in it, a part of her simply happy about being with him again, ignoring everything else for only a moment, letting it be nothing but a bad dream. She was exhausted by the events of the day, tired of worrying. The kiss steadily got more fierce, both pouring their longing for each other into it, igniting a desire far beyond anything physical. The Master grabbed Roka firmly, lay her on her back, without ever breaking the kiss.

The exhaustion made her almost give in to the temptation. Almost. Roughly she pushed him away and gave him a mean glare, that got answered with a grin and a poked out tongue. He really didn't make it easy to stop there.

"What's with that electric stuff?" she asked. "Are you still leaking energy?"

"Not as much as before, but it still happens, yeah." He leaned closer again.

"Well..." Roka put a hand at his chest and grinned. "Then this would probably be a bad idea."

With an annoyed grunt he rolled his eyes and sat up. "I hate it when you're right."

Roka too raised and leaned her head against his side. There was no way to ignore the situation. First of all they had to fix everything somehow. And then...

"What's with the drums?" she asked and looked up. "You seem quite normal again. For your standards."

"Tch, you have to work on your compliments." He glinted at her amused and jumped to his feet. "You snapped me out of this madness... Long enough to learn... The drums... they are _real_!"

"Huh? How do you know?"

"The Doctor... I forced him to listen." His brows furrowed, but then his face brightened. "And he could hear them!"

"So did I. But that..."

"No... no, no, no." The Master shook his head. "The way Time Lords connect telepathically is a lot different than with humans. For you it's like... seeing a photograph of a dream. For another Time Lord... it's more like actively existing _inside_ the dream."

"I knew it!" Roka sprang up and grinned widely at him. "And you moron wanted to just give up!"

"Because I couldn't fight them back any longer." He stared down at her, his eyes filled with sudden, but temporary pain. "And it hurt." His hand stretched out, as if to grab her again, but he let it drop. "Now it's... the mere knowledge was like a key. It still hurts, it's still almost unbearable. But... I can endure it a while longer."

"And find out where it comes from!" Roka laughed happily at the opportunity. "That's fantastic! If it isn't madness, then it has to be some kind of signal from within the Vortex, right?" He nodded. "Then you can trace it back to its source! Somehow..."

"I bet I'm already doing exactly that." He smiled. "With six billions of me, all with the drums in their heads. Shouldn't be a big problem to find out from where it's calling me."

"Well... you've got all the technology on earth to play with..." Roka mused. "Although it's probably not much use, since it's only of human origin..."

"Yeah, that could indeed be a problem."

For a while they were silent, both lost in their own train of thoughts. Eventually Roka had to nudge him again, and once more it hurt to see him affected by the glitch. She took his hands and smiled. "Let me help. I know you don't trust anyone, so let me clarify that I act out of pure selfishness here." A roguish glint came to her eyes at his questioning look. "I still want you to show me the stars. And you can't do that while being insane."

The Master laughed out loud, then stood and wrapped his arms around her. "You irredeemable, horrible human. You won't give up, will you?"

"Never," she mumbled into his shirt and smiled.

"But what do we do now? Steal the TARDIS again?" He chuckled at the thought.

"No idea where she is," Roka admitted. "But there is another place filled to the brim with alien tech." She stepped away from him an picked up a note from the table. "But first I have to make sure, Donna stays unharmed... by you." She gave him a mean glare and wrote a few words onto the paper.

_Don't dare to harm her, or I'll kick your butt.  
\- Roka_

With a grin she went to Donna's room and glued the paper onto her door. Then she wrote a second one, telling Donna to stay inside the house until the people outside would turn normal again.

"But they won't!" the Master protested.

Roka spun around and stabbed a finger at his chest. "I'll help you. And in return you reverse this. One of you is already trouble enough."

"Tzz, fine." He shrugged. "If I can get rid of the drums, that would be enough anyway... But where do you want to go?"

She grinned widely. "To the only place that is probably shielded enough to have escaped your clone army." Her grin got even wider when both of his brows raised.

"Torchwood."

**Author's Note:**

> More art, comics and fun can be found on my [DeviantArt](https://www.deviantart.com/tardisghost) page. :3


End file.
